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Top 13 Things that Didn't Happen in 2016

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[img]/images/NewsPaper_Things_Not_Happened_2016.jpg[/img]

In this New Year edition of No News - Good News we are happy to inform our readers that the following things did not occur this year:

  • FBI: Santa disclosed ‘naughty list' on WikiLeaks, "Helped Trump win election"; Obama expels Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen, and 35 elves in retaliation
  • California builds wall to keep out Trump supporters
  • Bernie supporters stunned there is no socialist Santa Claus, vow to continue demanding free chocolate cookies, milk
  • Washington Post sues Internet for infringing on ‘fake news' business
  • Controversy in the lab: white mold excludes black mold; Harvard biologist blames
  • ‘Petri dish cultures of hate'
  • Scientific News: Long after 1961 burial physicists uncertain Schrödinger is dead
  • Negative yielding bonds send sheep shearing futures soaring
  • Venezuelan Children cook and eat their own Christmas toys
  • Sexed-up Mother Russia becomes Milf Russia; Motherland renamed into Milfland on Putin's orders
  • North Korea abandons cashless economy plan after learning citizens already have no cash
  • Russian hacker made me change my vote: confession of a Hillary voter
  • RELATED NEWS: Russian hackers hack FBI report on Russian hacking to make it look stupid
  • Nibiru joins Nation of Islam, renames itself Planet X
  • Convergence nears: 3-D printer prints 3-D printer

Please compare it with our prediction of the top 16 things that weren't going to happen in 2016 and see how right we were - again!

It has become our New Year tradition to publish a list of things that didn't happen this year, prepared with equal contributions from Comrade Will Beria.

See the lists from previous years:


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Red Square wrote: - Scientific News: Long after 1961 burial physicists uncertain Schrödinger is dead
[img]/images/various_uploads/Schrodinger_Cat.jpg[/img]

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Red Square wrote:[Nov 18, 2016] ... "destruction of property," [by use of] "superglue" or "industrial glue" ...
Red Square wrote:[May 25, 2017] ... The case has been dismissed. ...
yeah, Schrödinger & Co ― you don't have this in your beloved gluon theory, do you?

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Red Square wrote:- Scientific News: Long after 1961 burial physicists uncertain Schrödinger is dead
I have always disliked this Schrödinger person. I shudder at his name. He was a hater.

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RedDiaperette wrote:I have always disliked this Schrödinger person. I shudder at his name. He was a hater.

We must form a committee of legal experts and social justice activists to survey the opinions of Party-approved scienticians and determine whether or not this Schrödinger person's evidence-based theories constitute Hate Science™.

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Experiment:
Put Herr Schrödinger in a sealed box (along with those ominous Schrödinger additives).
After a while, open the box.

Now: Did Herr Schrödinger mutate into a Cat or a Pingvin?
Solution:
Whatever the answer, that Schrödinger paradox didn't happen in 2016.


 
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