Internet Control To Be Turned Over To Malaysia

User avatar

Dear Comrades,

The Department of Collective Commerce has announced plans to turn over the administration of the Internet to Malaysia in keeping with the principles of International Socialism and Malaysia's demonstrated efficiency in managing information.

Agitators within the People's Democratic Party have long complained that the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has long functioned as a Capitalist entity, concerned only with the financial interests of internet corporations. Releasing the internet to Malaysian management will mean an end to profitability and thus a crushing blow to so-called ‘free market' Capitalism.

International regulation means that the Party's vision of Multiculturalism can also become a reality for the internet, where Progressive states like the People's Republic of China and Saudi Arabia will finally have a voice in managing internet content. No longer will reactionaries dominate the World Wide Web, but all the Masses will enjoy an equal share of the Means of (Digital) Production.

The Malaysian government's recent handling of the search for MH370 reminds many citizens of the USSA of our own successful implementation of Obamacare, proving that Malaysia is ready for the challenge. This decision is also in keeping with our Glorious Leader, Party Chairman and President Barack Obama's promise to transform America and the world.

We wish our Malaysian brethren success in managing the Internet! Down with Capitalism and up with Multiculturalism!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

User avatar
This is wonderful news indeed! I trust that the personal information collected, sifted and winnowed by the NSA, IRS, FBI, CIA and will be immediately turned over to the Malaysian Security Agency for safekeeping.