Poor Me Magazine #5 - Lisa Page: 'Trump faked my orgasm'

Poor Me is a magazine dedicated to people who see themselves as victims. Read it and weep.

IN THIS ISSUE:

• Lisa Page complains about challenges of being a drama queen in the age of Trump. "Competition is fierce."
• They hate me just because they know me.
• Trump stole my tiny violin and the mofo can't even play!
• Fairness means that I dish it out without having to take it.
• Trump faked my orgasm. Didn't even sound like me, ask anyone at the FBI head office.
• Text yourself into victimhood with this one weird trick.
• Is Santa Claus a Russian operative? Ask Hillary.
• The Next Big Thing: Impeach Santa

Further reading: Lisa Page describes pain of betrayal by DOJ, Barr, Pompeo

Get a free lifetime subscription courtesy of the Deep State


PREVIOUS ISSUES:

• Poor Me Mag #1: Making Victimhood Pay Off
• Poor Me Mag #2: Fareed Zakaria's Tiny Violin Gets Stolen
• Poor Me Mag #3: Michelle Fields Raped on Trump's Orders
• Poor Me Mag #4: Trump-Comey edition

 

Trump Broke Me


 

An appropriate song from They Might Be Giants:

"Renew My Subscription"
Though I don't write a whole lot of letters
I figured I'd better say something now
I saw the thing about the heartsick shut-in
Thought that I should cut in
And tell you 'bout how
It woke me from a life-long day dream
While I'd been aging you wrote it all down
And though I recognized the words when I read them
I know I never said them to people out loud
Renew my subscription
To "Desperate Bellowing Magazine"
It sure does have a familiar ring
You might say I fit the description
Renew my subscription
To "Miserable Freak Show Quarterly"
Every back-number I saw spoke to me
Acknowledging it's my addiction
Renew my subscription
I wanna be a much better person
Instead I worsen with every day
But there's a drug whose name I'm not sure of
Which I need more of to feel okay
They told me exercise and diet
If I would try it, would cure my ills
But though I'm already past my quota
I want another load o' those magic pills
Refill my prescription
To whatever that thing is
That makes the carpet stop turning into snakes
In lieu of my coming conniption
Refill my prescription
And free me from where I don't want to be
Standing outside the unopened pharmacy
Before I confirm your prediction
Refill my prescription

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73AQsVHvaAY
 

Poor Me should have a democrat party gala issue. Just the whole damn party.
 

Page and Carrot Top's daughter are both so logic challenged it's difficult to understand that they can actually feed themselves without help. Then again, we don't *really* know that, do we?
 

I, Bill Clinton, as Minister of Truth do hereby declare "#Poor-Me-Too":



But if that embed doesn't work in your browser, click here for "Bill Clinton #Poor-Me-Too."

--Minister of Truth
 

I, Bill Clinton, as Minister of Truth, must also report that my beloved Hillary Clinton is so sick and tired of the ineptitude of her Fusion-GPS Minions in President Obama's FBI and DOJ such as Peter Stroke Strock with Lisa Page for failing to effectuate that insurance plan that Hillary is now "#Poor-Me-Too":



If that embed doesn't work in your browser, try Hillary-Sick-and-Tired-as-Poor-Me-Too

--Bill Clinton, Minister of Truth
 

Sadly, I, Bill Clinton, Minister of Information, must admit that I took-advantage of Hillary:

Hillary Clinton tells Vanity Fair "I was victimized by Bill -- #Poor-Me-Too"





See also the "Bill took advantage of me" report by the Washington CBS Local,

A timely-for-Hillary scaling-down-of-a-"tell-all" book to a mere interview in Vanity Fair evincing Lewinsky's apparent abandonment of previously-reported plans to try to become a new "bombshell":




--Bill Clinton, Minister of Truth
 

Poor Me #5 is today's featured cartoon at the American Thinker.

https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... 9_7_0.html
 

Two in a row? Have the boys in the agitprop department started sobering up and showing up for work again?

Seems the "Mona-Greta" is featured today, 12/22/2019... https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... _2_55.html

Most Equal, Comrade Direktor!
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Two in a row? Have the boys in the agitprop department started sobering up and showing up for work again?

Seems the "Mona-Greta" is featured today, 12/22/2019... https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoons/

Most Equal, Comrade Direktor!
It's three in a row, to be exact. Greta / Lisa / Greta.

https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... _2_53.html

https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... 9_7_0.html

https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... _2_55.html
 

"...he shoots, HE SCORES for the hat trick!..."
 

Red Square

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Two in a row? ...
It's three in a row, to be exact. Greta / Lisa / Greta. ...

Ivan the Stakhanovets

"...he shoots, HE SCORES for the hat trick!..."


 

Genosse Dummkopf

Red Square

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Two in a row? ...
It's three in a row, to be exact. Greta / Lisa / Greta. ...

Ivan the Stakhanovets

"...he shoots, HE SCORES for the hat trick!..."

truly a case of .( (visual indoctrination) ^[squared] ) ^[cubed]

oh, yes. that Red Square is to the cubed factor.
 

I just renewed my subscription to "Poor Me" for another year.
 

CRIME PAYS: MSNBC welcomes Former FBI Lawyer Lisa Page as an NBC News & MSNBC National Security & Legal Analyst.

https://twitter.com/RichardGrenell/stat ... 4158480384

Is she getting a work phone?
 

Red Square

CRIME PAYS: MSNBC welcomes Former FBI Lawyer Lisa Page as an NBC News & MSNBC National Security & Legal Analyst.

https://twitter.com/RichardGrenell/stat ... 4158480384

Is she getting a work phone?
Or perhaps a woke phone? Or a wank phone?
 

Red Square

CRIME PAYS: MSNBC welcomes Former FBI Lawyer Lisa Page as an NBC News & MSNBC National Security & Legal Analyst.

https://twitter.com/RichardGrenell/stat ... 4158480384

Is she getting a work phone?

Gee, being a treasonous, home wrecking bimbo doesn't pay like it used to.
 

Red Square

... MSNBC welcomes Former FBI Lawyer Lisa Page as an NBC News & MSNBC National Security & Legal Analyst. ...
Wow, CNN lost the bid? Stingy too much, eh?