FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

While it is true that different sets of FAQ exist for various practical purposes, a study conducted at the non-partisan Karl Marx Treatment Center has shown that if you combine all the FAQs that exist in the world in different languages, put them into a gigantic computer database financed by non-political charities sponsored by George Soros, and rearrange the questions in the order of priority, the list of world's most important FAQ must look exactly as follows. (It is recommended that action be taken at all public and private institutions to adjust the lists accordingly. Compliance shall be monitored by independent legal observers from the ranks of the ACLU and the National Lawyers Guild.)

1. How to fight capitalism with Global Warming?
2. How to fight capitalism with The Coming Ice Age?
3. How to fight capitalism with Ozone Holes?
4. How to fight capitalism with Overpopulation Threat?
5. How to fight capitalism with Diversity?
6. How to fight capitalism with Solidarity?
7. How to fight capitalism with Multiculturalism?
8. How to fight capitalism with Feminism?
9. How to fight capitalism with Gay and Transgender Movement?
10. How to fight capitalism with Environmentalism?
11. How to fight capitalism with Popular Culture?
12. How to fight capitalism with Lawsuits?
13. How to fight capitalism with Clever Vernacular?
14. How to fight capitalism with Anecdotal Evidence?
15. How to fight capitalism with Labor Unions?
16. How to fight capitalism with Class Envy?
17. How to fight capitalism with Taxes?
18. How to fight capitalism with Movies?
19. How to fight capitalism with Music?
20. How to fight capitalism with Peace?
21. How to fight capitalism with War?
22. How to fight capitalism with Supporting the Troops
23. How to fight capitalism with Supporting the Enemy
24. How to fight capitalism with Racism?
25. How to fight capitalism with Anti-Racism?
26. How to fight capitalism with Nationalism?
27. How to fight capitalism with Internationalism?
28. How to fight capitalism with High Gas Prices?
29. How to fight capitalism with Low Gas Prices?
30. How to fight capitalism with Good Economic News?
31. How to fight capitalism with Bad Economic News?
32. How to fight capitalism with College Education?
33. How to fight capitalism with Kindergarten Education?
34. How to fight capitalism with The Children?
35. How to fight capitalism with The Seniors?
36. How to fight capitalism with Terrorism?
37. How to fight capitalism with Anti-Terrorism?

To be continued...

 

38.  How to fight capitalism with capitalism?
 

39. How to fight capitalism with revisionist history?
40. How to fight capitalism with childrens programming?
41. How to fight capitalism with Tofu Products?
42. How to fight capitalism with The Geneva Convention?
43. How to fight capitalism with Katie Couric?
 

How to fight capitalism with studies and reports from the prestigious Karl Marx Treatment Center for Policy Studies Institute?

How to fight capitalism with comrade Goodspaceguy Nelson?
 

46. How to fight capitalism with Christian-phobia?
 

47. How to fight capitalism with Hollywood?
48. How to fight capitalism with (insert network here)?
49. How to fight capitalism with Islamofascism?
50. How to fight capitalism with Affirmative Action?
51. How to fight capitalism with Abortion?
52. How to fight capitalism with a Kennedy?
 

52.5. How tewe fyt Catapillar!!!(Sohhry)
53.  How tewe fyt Kapitloizm wif gulag ???
54.  How tewe fyt  Kapitloizm wif Jon Kerri?
55.  How tewe fyt Kapitloizm wif Peas lohvink Pal-ee-stin-ions??
 

56. How to fight capitalism with publik edukation?
57. How to fight capitalism with Che Guevara t-shirts?
58. How to fight capitalism with brainwashing?
59. How to fight capitalism with students?
60. How to fight capitalism with really long lists?
 

61. How to fight capitalism with illegal aliens?
62. How to fight capitalism with guest workers?
63. How to fight capitalism with cities and churches providing sanctuary to illegal     aliens?
64. How to fight capitalism with R.I.N.O.s (especially McLame)?
65. How to fight capitalism with Air Amerika?
 

Quote:

52. How to fight capitalism with a Kennedy?


That's been going on for a while now...
 

Quote:

64. How to fight capitalism with R.I.N.O.s (especially McLame)?


In Ratchet and Clank there's the R.Y.N.O. (Rip Ya a New One). It's the most powerful rocket launcher in the galaxy!

Quote:

65. How to fight capitalism with Air Amerika?


Didn't they go bankrupt?
 

Quote:

Didn't they go bankrupt?


they are in their death throes...
 

66. How to fight capitalism with Medications?
67. How to fight capitalism with Lack of Medications?
68. How to fight capitalism with Mumia Abu Jamal?
69. How to fight capitalism with Tookey Williams?
70. How to fight capitalism with Angela Davis?
71. How to fight capitalism with Leonard Peltier?
72. How to fight capitalism with Hugo Chavez?
73. How to fight capitalism with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
74. How to fight capitalism with Bicycles?
 

Quote:

70. How to fight capitalism with Angela Davis?


You forgot Patty Hearst and Abbie Hoffman...
 

Quote:

74. How to fight capitalism with Bicycles?

Ho knows!!!
 

Private Pravda

You forgot Patty Hearst and Abbie Hoffman...
Perhaps instead of piecemealing it we should combine all these heroic personalities into one category:

How to fight capitalism with Staunch Martyrs of Revolution.
 

Private Pravda

Quote:

74. How to fight capitalism with Bicycles?

Ho knows!!!
How true!
In fact, comrade Pravda, I was recently researching Party-approved revolutionary bike trails, meaning to spend my vacation by tracing the steps of various people's heroes on my 5-speed people's bicycle. And I found just what I wanted -

Mountain Bike Tour on the Ho Chin Minh Trail
Explosion from the Past!

Relieve your rich bourgeois guilt and fight capitalism at the same time, for only  US$2,220 per person (child prostitutes sold separately)

http://laosadventure.com/ho-chi-minh.htm



NOTE: Medical / evacuation insurance for HCM bike trip is strongly recommended

Departure dates for Ho Chi Minh Trail Cycling Tours 2006-7
1st departure: Thursday, 28 December 2006 - Monday 8 January 2007
2nd departure: Monday, 19 February 2007 - Thursday 1 March 2007

Price: US$2,220 per person
Single Supplement: US$130 per person
 

Then there's the collective groups out there...Like PETA, The Weathermen, AFL/CIO, SLA, DNC,  ACLU, and NAMBLA...sorry for being so obvious...
 

75. How to fight capitalism with welfare?
76. How to fight capitalism with Ritalin?
77. How to fight capitalism with organic food?
78. How to fight capitalism with Rubik's cubes?
79. How to fight capitalism with impeachment proceedings?
80. How to fight capitalism with the European Union?
81. How to fight capitalism with the United Nations?
82. How to fight capitalism with Microsoft Windows running on our PCs?
                           (Windows Greater Good Edition)
83. How to fight capitalism with ipods?
84. How to fight capitalism with unclever vernacular?
85. How to fight capitalism with foreign oil?
86. How to fight capitalism with domestic oil?
 

87. How to fight capitalism with time share villas
88. How to fight capitalism with an elastic band and two coat hangers
89. How to fight capitalism with a crying drunk girl at a party
 

Quote:

89. How to fight capitalism with a crying drunk girl at a party


And boy are they common....
 

90. How to fight capitalism with macaca.
91. How to fight capitalism with Alan Colmes.
92. How to fight capitalism with Coffee Annan (The Cup That Jeers!").
 

Quote:

91. How to fight capitalism with Alan Colmes.


We do not make clones, we make clomes....
 

Premier Betty

Quote:

87. How to fight capitalism with time share villas
88. How to fight capitalism with an elastic band and two coat hangers
89. How to fight capitalism with a crying drunk girl at a party


And boy are they common....

They are an untapped resource my Premier  - being so numerous is only one part of it. So many are unsure of why they are crying it provides a unique oppurtunity to teach them that crying because someone is wearing the same dress as them is actually expressing anguish for the oppression of the workers and the drowsiness of the masses in creating a worldwide socialist paradise

I also believe that time share villas will help destroy the kulak class of wealthy peasant without the need for expensive and labour intensive mass executions. Not that we shouldnt consider that an option, eh comrades?
 

Hmmm, I like labor intensive mass executions Comrade Commissar, I really do. Nothing says your a hated disgrace to everything than labor intensive executions. The problem is, its too costly. You have to factor in the shovel, the one cup of grass and mud at meal time, bullets, Guild Guards, dogs, spotlights, barbed fences and the whole production of a show trial. So what does the Party do? Charge memberships and call it a "Fitness Club", Amerikan Collective Fitness Club to be exact. Which brings us to #92

92. How to fight capitalism with Fitness Clubs?
 

Chairman Meow S. Pun

Hmmm, I like labor intensive mass executions Comrade Commissar, I really do. Nothing says your a hated disgrace to everything than labor intensive executions. The problem is, its too costly. You have to factor in the shovel, the one cup of grass and mud at meal time, bullets, Guild Guards, dogs, spotlights, barbed fences and the whole production of a show trial. So what does the Party do? Charge memberships and call it a "Fitness Club", Amerikan Collective Fitness Club to be exact. Which brings us to #92

92. How to fight capitalism with Fitness Clubs.

Your insight is an inspiration Comrade Chairman. If I might comment again on the public execution and your noted concern over resources and cost - might I respectfully suggest perhaps a few amendments?

- To save money on bullets, you simply use the shovel (a good, firm soviet shovel, as used by happy mine workers in the Urals) as the impliment of death, it provides a more intimate and personal end for the victim, and adds to the feeling of satisfaction from the executing soldier - let us not forget these are likely to be friends and members of his own family after all, and another example of the love of the Party in allowing for such a dignified send off even for those who have proved unworthy of such.

- Spotlights, expensive and too often shot out by Amerikan Delta force snipers intent on practising for their next Stephen Seagal movie, can be simply be replaced by the burning corpses of the deceased. It will provide light and warmth for the troops, and encourage a campfire spirit good for the moral of our Troops, weary from their duties.

- Show trials could be a thing of the past if we simply ensure that Comrade Jerry Springer, or her British counterpart Comrade Trisha (it shames me to be from the land that brought the industrial revolution) are utilised to provide much the same purpose, whilst also amalgamating a popular form of entertainment. I would even go so far as to argue that show trials are put to shame in the use of selective evidence and jury (the audience) bias.

Therefore, might I draw your esteemed attention to:

93. How to fight capitalism with budget cuts
 

Quote:

Therefore, might I draw your esteemed attention to:

93. How to fight capitalism with budget cuts

Lets not cut the whole budget, just defense and intelligence. We ALWAYS need a reason to raise taxes, always....

94. How to fight capitalism with after school programs?
 

95. How to fight capitalism with Frequently Asked Questions?

96. How to fight capitalism on $9.99 a day?

97. How to fight capitalism without really trying?

98. How to fight capitalism while shopping?

99. How to fight capitalism in the office?
 

100. How to fight capitalism with Social Security, the most obvious solution since 1935! HAHAHAHA Suckers! You'll never see a dime.....it's all mine, mine, mine!
 

101. How to fight capitalism with the Complete Idiot's Guide to Fighting Capitalism.
 

Quote:

- Spotlights, expensive and too often shot out by Amerikan Delta force snipers intent on practising for their next Stephen Seagal movie, can be simply be replaced by the burning corpses of the deceased. It will provide light and warmth for the troops, and encourage a campfire spirit good for the moral of our Troops, weary from their duties.


Do these burning bodies project a directional light, or is it just radial?
 

Private Pravda

101. How to fight capitalism with the Complete Idiot's Guide to Fighting Capitalism.

Thanks for reminding us about this important book! It was such an obvious choice and we completeley overlooked it!



Just recently Comrade Chavez promoted it at the UN


 

102. How to fight capitalism with Google
103. How to fight capitalism with YouTube
105. How to fight capitalism with MySpace
106. How to fight capitalism without leaving the comfort of your home
107. How to fight capitalism with maverick Republican Senators
 

Quote:

64. How to fight capitalism with R.I.N.O.s (especially McLame)?


:)
 

Quote:

Just recently Comrade Chavez promoted it at the UN


come caca, Hugo!! <wishes for accent mark over "e" in "come">
 

Premier Betty

Quote:

- Spotlights, expensive and too often shot out by Amerikan Delta force snipers intent on practising for their next Stephen Seagal movie, can be simply be replaced by the burning corpses of the deceased. It will provide light and warmth for the troops, and encourage a campfire spirit good for the moral of our Troops, weary from their duties.


Do these burning bodies project a directional light, or is it just radial?

Depends on how you pile them Comrade!
 

108. How to fight capitalism with Guerilla Glue?
 

109. How to fight capitalism (HTFC) with an iconoclastic snarl?
110. HTFC with group hugs?
111. HTFC, win friends, and influence people?
112. HTFC by starting your very own socialism-themed punk band?
113. HTFC with poetry that doesn't rhyme?
114. HTFC with your neighbor's $?
115. HTFC and build great abs at the same time?
116. HTFC by sharing needles?
117. HTFC by flying kites?
118. HTFC with poor dental hygeine?
 

119. HTFC with acronyms?
 

Palimpsest! Comrade! Good to see you again. You've been well?
 

Comrade Otis

Palimpsest! Comrade! Good to see you again. You've been well?

Thank you, my esteemed comrade!  It's good to be back among such ardent class warriors as you.

I've been extremely busy as of late, working on:

120. HTFC with extreme yoga.
 

I love fighting capitalism with Big Labor. Thats's one question I never have to ask. I have the answer's!! I live the answer's. Answers to questions like, How to:

Fight capitalism by not going to work
Fight capitalism by letting others do YOUR work for you
Fight capitalism by abusing the Family Medical Leave Act
Fight capitalism by filing a grievence
Fight capitalism by going on strike
Fight capitalism by creating a protest sign
Fight capitalism by becoming a Shop Steward
Fight capitalism through paying dues
Fight capitalism by fighting overtime
Fight capitalism by quelling the desire to run against current union leadership
Fight capitalism by diminishing achievement
Fight capitalism with unearned pay raises

All of these can be found in my upcoming book "How to Work From Home Without Actually Working, and Getting Your Employer to File for Bankruptcy"

I would like to know more about

Fighting capitalism with a Single Payer Medical System
Fighting capitalism by extending unemployment benefits
Fighting capitalism by spreading misery
 

Oyez oyez oyez!  As the Red head of the Party Legal Regulations Dept., I am required to post the mandatory legal disclaimer FAQs:

How to fight capitalism with judicial activism?
How to fight capitalism with strict construction?
How to fight capitalism with dissent?
How to fight capitalism with a plurality?
How to fight capitalism with a 5-4?
How to fight capitalism with filibusters?
How to fight capitalism with Harriet Myers?
How to fight capitalism with legal disclaimers?
How to fight capitalism with frivolous lawsuits?
How to fight capitalism with a living Constitution?
How to fight capitalism with a dead Constitution?
How to fight capitalism with a vague and amorphous rule?
How to fight capitalism with a bright line rule?
How to fight capitalism with a Terry stop?
How to fight capitalism with Revolution?
How to fight capitalism with Devolution?
How to fight capitalism with the ABA?
 

HTFC with Eminent Domain?

HTFC with Eminem?


HTFC with ABBA?

 

Private Pravda

HTFC with ABBA?

Should we perhaps purge them just because it's fun? Hasta manana, baby!
 

Purge ABBA? I would say yes, but how can you purge a progressive song like "Dancing Queen"? If we do, we would be banned from entering San-Francisco, forever.
 

Dearest Comrade Chairman ,
   and you would want to visit San Francisco for???



155.HTFC with an oldsmobile?
156. HTFC with donkey cart pullup window?
157. HTFC with beer and hourlong gravitron rides??
 

General Ivan

Dearest Comrade Chairman ,
   and you would want to visit San Francisco for???

Someone has to drag Fancy Pants to the show trial; she certainly isn’t going to come on her own accord.

158. How to fight capitalism with frequent flyer miles?
 

HTFC with morbid obesity?


 

160. How to fight capitalism with progressive literature.
 

General Ivan

Dearest Comrade Chairman ,
   and you would want to visit San Francisco for???

HTFC with bathhouses?
HTFC with the Gulagosphere?
 

HTFC with Rachel Corries' decomposing carcass?
HTFC with Trust Fund Guilt?
 

From an email:

I am shocked no one has thought of this:  How To Fight Capitalism in Two Words For Dummies:  Raise Taxes!

BW aka:  Wild B. Coyoteski
              Polish Genius
 

HTFC without a 2nd Amendment?
by Comrade Chucky Shumer

Comrade AirMotor
 

How to fight capitalism by organizing a union?

Oh wait, I think the current unions won’t allow competition from new unions organizing; men in big black cars could pay you a visit.  

So I am going with:
How to fight capitalism with Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs?
 

Not Available in Stores!
Capitalism
As Seen On TV.
Call right now and we will send you not only one roll of clean white toilet paper but a pot to pee in.
Only $19.95
But wait...thats not all!
o We will include a foam circle to avoid indenting your proletariat backside.
o A spray can of new car smell.
o A pack of Marboro's with a full Bic lighter.

Please send cash only in American dollars.
 

HTFC w/Carbon Offsets!
HTFC w/the UN & LOST

Comrade AirMotor
 

Red Square

Private Pravda

Quote:

74. How to fight capitalism with Bicycles?

Ho knows!!!
How true!
In fact, comrade Pravda, I was recently researching Party-approved revolutionary bike trails, meaning to spend my vacation by tracing the steps of various people's heroes on my 5-speed people's bicycle. And I found just what I wanted -

Mountain Bike Tour on the Ho Chin Minh Trail
Explosion from the Past!

Relieve your rich bourgeois guilt and fight capitalism at the same time, for only US$2,220 per person (child prostitutes sold separately)

http://laosadventure.com/ho-chi-minh.htm



NOTE: Medical / evacuation insurance for HCM bike trip is strongly recommended

Departure dates for Ho Chi Minh Trail Cycling Tours 2006-7
1st departure: Thursday, 28 December 2006 - Monday 8 January 2007
2nd departure: Monday, 19 February 2007 - Thursday 1 March 2007

Price: US$2,220 per person
Single Supplement: US$130 per person

Be careful if you go. I left some of my old booby Traps in place. Stay away from anything named Khe Sanh or Cam Lo or Dong-Ha or Cuaviet or well Viet Nam. (I was pretty busy there for three years)
Power to the troddendown and Huffy workers.
 

HTFC with George Soros
HTFC with Al Gore and Global Warming
HTFC with Cap and Trade Policy
HTFC with The People's Cube and the Party Line
HTFC with Islamic Science
HTFC with a Klean Konscience
HTFC with One-legged Hookers
HTFC with Greenpeace, Sierra Club and the US Congress
HTFC by Sending All Your Rubles To This Party Member
 

I think we are forgeting some of the most important ones comrades:

How to fight capitalism with communism
How to fight capitalism with Al Gore
How to fight capitalism with the ACLU
How to fight capitalism with product placements
How to fight capitalism by coming to the US illegally
How to fight capitalism with a stick, some gum and a half eaten sandwich
How to fight capitalism with gene therapy
How to fight capitalism with the sweat on your back
How to fight capitalism by conceiving a hoax (Karakter off)(Were looking straight at you Global Warming)(Karakter on)
How to fight capitalism with a comrade or two.
 

HTFC literally.
 

HTFC using the redistributed wealth I (won't) get if obama wins
 

192. HTFC with universal health care


 

What is the penalty for being a closet capitalist?......not that I would know one....
 

Ah, comrades, these are very good questions indeed. Let not my name fool you. I am a new and progressive Tsar; one of peace (in gated communities), equality for everyone (else), and global goodwill (boxes). I am a chicken-in-every (one else's )-pot kind of guy. I have the answers to all of these most extremely important questions you have asked about the most extremely important task of all:

Answers to each question are as follows. A good comrade will tatoo them on their (self) righteous breast, backward, so that each morning as the comrade looks in the mirror, they will be reminded of their daily task, each day, another magnanimous acidic erosion on our capitalist enemies.

1. Get Oprah's endorsement.
2. Get Oprah's endorsement.
3. Get Oprah's endorsement.
4. Get Oprah's endorsement.
5. Get Oprah's endorsement.
6. Get Oprah's endorsement.
7. Get Oprah's endorsement.
8. Get Oprah's endorsement.
9. Get Oprah's endorsement.
10. Get Oprah's endorsement.
11. Get Oprah's endorsement.
12. Get Oprah's endorsement.
13. Get Oprah's endorsement.
14. Get Oprah's endorsement.
15. Get Oprah's endorsement.
16. Get Oprah's endorsement.
17. Get Oprah's endorsement.
18. Get Oprah's endorsement.
19. Get Oprah's endorsement.
20. Get Oprah's endorsement.
21. Get Oprah's endorsement.
22. Get Oprah's endorsement.
23. Get Oprah's endorsement.
24. Get Oprah's endorsement.
25. Get Oprah's endorsement.

I will now end this lesson, comrades, for I am a compassionate Czar who understands that all of my brothers and sisters must have an equal opportunity of time to absorb the material. This so that together we may all acheive our goal of stopping capitalism, sharing in the glorious victory as one unified nation who (we) worked selflessly for the good of (us) all.

Further answers will be revealed later. For now, commit this knowledge to memory, dear comrades. Think on it while applying, saying your looking for work, chilling, seeing, taking, eating, sleeping, inhaling, holding it, exhaling, eating, and sleeping. That way, you may be fully prepared to pass this saving wisdom on to your many children who were saved from the ravages of capatalist-caused policies that forced their father's to sleep in school and punished their mother's, who did nothing but try and cheer up their common-law husbands who had been so maliciously and dispassionately exhausted by the oppressive greed of their government.
 

Endorsed!

 

Most other groups of writings have a section called FAQ. Why not change yours to FA-Q. It may even cause some of the comrades to chuckle, which is not good
as it cause a decrease in productivity. Norms will not be reduced for such minuscule happenings!
 

If you call it Frequently Asked Questions and Answers it can be shortened to FAQ & A
 

But Komerades...we on the US collective do not have to fight capitalism....we have our dear leader obama to do it for us.
 

How to fight Capitalism with Debbie Wasserman-Schultz?
 

200. HTFC with single mile credit cards.Glorious World of Next Tuesday™
 

201. How to fight captilism with Sienfeld?