Top Ten Things That Didn't Happen in 2012

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If you're unhappy because things didn't go your way in 2012, you're not thinking positively. We don't know how lucky we are until we know what things could have happened - but didn't. Here is a helpful list that may help you think more constructively.


Top Ten Things That Didn't Happen in 2012

10. Melting of the ice caps with the inevitable bailout of Santa's workshop and the Federal government's takeover of the ‘naughty and nice' list.
9. Greece abandoning the Euro, as their accountants could no longer find any.
8. Reinvention of the wheel, with the gradual reinvention of axles in the 3rd quarter of 2013.
7. Meek inheriting the Earth but unable to afford estate taxes.
6. Solving the riddle of the Universe; not understanding the answer.
5. Theoretical black hole created in a lab; media sucked in.
4. Bigfoot discovered in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama.
3. Freak flying pig accident causing bacon flying off the shelves.
2. Mayans cashing in on futures as world ended in December.
1. Passing of the budget by US Congress.

The list was submitted by our friend and a veteran Cubist, Comrade Will Beria.

It appears that the most obvious thing that didn't happen was left off, probably because even the thought of it having happened is too dreadful a thought for a loyal Cube Komrade to even entertain:

Romney Elected President of U.S.

With sub-lines:

- Widows, orphans, and elderly immediate relocated to cliffs;
- War on women escalates: Now illegal to put toilet seats in down position;
- Jamie Foxx converts to Mormonism, decries number of whites killed in Django.

I shudder to think what may have occurred had not the proletariat put down their shovels and Obamaphones and failed to vote!

The biggest items is also not mentioned in any media outlet besides the clandestine publications, First Freedom and American Rifleman.
No Members of the National Rifle Association Shot or Murdered Any School Children.
No Firearms Escaped From Gun Shops to Commit Mayhem With Their Own Projectiles.
And as always; No Liberals Grew Up to Become Competent Adults.