This set of proposed New York Times headlines shows us the world through the lense of "Pluto Demotion Crisis" with the same feeling, understanding, and insight as the Times does on any other issue and during any other crisis, national or otherwise.

• Growing disparity among planets raises moral questions
  
• Big Astronomy doesn't want you to know that big planets are getting bigger and small planets are getting smaller
  
• Class struggle in Solar System
  
• Pluto & Me: Michael Moore stands with the little guy
  
• Lack of federal funding leads to downsizing of Solar System
  
• Small planets helpless against competition
  
• Pluto decision sends shockwaves to neighboring solar systems
  
• Freezing temperatures, vacuum, darkness gave Pluto no chance
  
• Most "dwarfs" will not survive harsh winter
  
• Republicans deny aid to Pluto amidst growing concerns for the future of trans-Neptunian objects
  
• Observatory Director: Pluto's orbit "eccentric and absolutely unacceptable"
  
• Mothers: Our children will grow up with only 8 planets
  
• More causes for depression in middle-class families
  
• Poll: Most Americans think that black holes are discriminated against
  
• Experts blame Pluto fiasco on lack of tolerance, call for "more diversity"
  
• Pluto ruling angers dwarves, midgets
  
• Class action "dwarf tossing" lawsuit filed
  
• Insider: 'big-planetism' rampant at national observatories
  
• Whistleblower uncovers bias towards smaller, 'female' planets
  
• Minority planets routinely left out in the cold
  
• Republicans shrug off glass ceiling for dwarfs, asteroids
  
• Is astronomy racist? Scholars and activists debate
  
• Astronomer: US policies may have squandered Earth's gravitational pull
  
• Community leaders on sympathy orbit: 'we're all dwarfs now!'
  
• Sean Penn: We are 'hated' on other planets
  
• Little planet that could survived abuse by astronomers as a child
  
• ACLU: demotion of Pluto 'unconstitutional' and 'hate speech' towards size-challenged objects
  
• Earth-centric policies discriminate against possible non-carbon based life
  
• Cindy Sheehan mourns Pluto tragedy: "I want to meet with Chief Astronomer and look him in the eye"
  
• French author: Earth's claim to 'intelligent life' is Earth-centric, provincial
  
• Muslim protesters burn local planetarium "just in case"
  
• McCain to grant planetary status to asteroids if elected: "They take orbits that big planets won't take"
  
• Democrats: Pluto ousting 'a disgrace'
  
• Al Gore demands recount of Pluto's body mass
  
• NASA: Bush knew about Pluto's insufficient gravity
  
• Order to 'out' Pluto may have come from Rove
  
• Hugo Chavez pledges to send oil to Pluto
  
• Pluto demotion to a 'dwarf' leaves North Korean leader uncertain about own future
  
• Iran President defends Pluto, threatens to retaliate against Israel
  
• Hezbollah claims rockets can now reach Pluto
  
• Hamas leaders to appeal to UN as soon as they find out what Pluto is
  
• Astronomers angry at Times for disclosing plans to oust Pluto

Get the shovels! We must now restore and rebuild Pluto to its former glory...Chocolate Planet, anyone??

"We have an image problem." The rest of the universe says the Milky Way is arrogant and rude.

We must react to this sabotage against Classless Society of planets in our solar system! This decision was made by "scientists" who are really reactionary puppets of Bush/Cheney on crusade against equality in general. Comrades, we must always remember that just as all people are equal in every respect, so are planets.

Haa! I Zee vat isk goink on heer ....Zee poh--Taah-toes an Hard Tac raaash-ons vill bee kut in haf until furhter No-Tice...

How many more planets with third-world orbits are going to be ruthlessly targeted by this Administration!? We should have asked the inter-planetary community first before ousting a dictator errr I mean planet...

Astronomers are elitist swine and enemies of the People. We must prevent all scientists from doing work and publishing opinions that are not will of the people. We should start with class enemies #1, psychologists, who do research on individual differences and IQ. They should be made to clean toilets in the Gulag with their toothbrushes.

Chairman Meow-Say-Pun wrote:How many more planets with third-world orbits are going to be ruthlessly targeted by this Administration!? We should have asked the inter-planetary community first before ousting a dictator errr I mean planet...

I agree, Chairman. But not only should we have sought the consensus of the inter-planetary, we should have sought a UN resolution to consider a resolution, and then press for another resolution stating how angry the UN would be if Pluto was demoted. More importantly however, were the French present at the discussions held by these astonomers? Otherwise, this is a unilateral assault against Pluto.

Vhere isk dis Plue- Toe in siberian vilderness I vill haf to cee ivf Betty knows of dis place an re-port to KGB..Vhat is U. N. Under Nationals hhhaaaa Grteat name for return to Old Soviet Union....

General Ivan wrote:Vhere isk dis Plue- Toe in siberian vilderness I vill haf to cee ivf Betty knows of dis place an re-port to KGB..Vhat is U. N. Under Nationals hhhaaaa Grteat name for return to Old Soviet Union....

Currently I am aware of only 30 different detention camps for political prisoners, 15 for enemies of the people, and 32 for re-education, and re-conditioning. If you are located in any of the newly constructed ones, please notify me immediately. If not, then get back to work!

A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY!
The People's Cube was quoted in a book on popular astronomy.

Our friend and dedicated People's Cube scout Gerard emailed us that while reading The Pluto Files (2009) by an astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson he came across four pages (122-126) in which this NYT best-selling author quotes the People's Cube "Pluto Crisis" parody and references the source as ThePeoplesCube.com (also listed as "People's Cube, The" on the Index page).

Does this mean we are becoming a household name?

Read more here:

People's Cube quoted in a book on popular astronomy

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Pluto: The New Red Planet!
https://www.space.com/29101-is-pluto-re ... video.html

SPK

FREE PLUTO! EQUAL GRAVITY FOR ALL PLANETS!

Get it on shirts, mugs, etc. - https://redcube.spreadshirt.com/free-pl ... ts-I837888

[img]/images/Free_Pluto_400_Scratched.png[/img]

Our hearts go out to Pluto in days like these, as well as to the countless other victims of AstrO-ppression.

Stolen property.

Comrade, this is the perfect time to revive your 17-year-old blog post because Pluto is now considered a minor planet, and as such urgently needs protection from the Trans-Plutonian Community, which may try to coax it into taking puberty blockers or submit to sub-hemispheric surgery.

Pluto is young, vulnerable and lives in a neighborhood teeming with shady, inclusively named dwarf planets that can't be trusted around minor planets. Just look at this NASA chart: