Open Letter to President Gore

User avatar
Your Excellency Al Gore:

I am frightened. Very frightened.

Because I have seen the trailer for your classic film, An Inconvenient Truth.

A message from the future that proves Al Gore right (see video)


The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

Image "May we live long
and die out"

The first victim of Global Warming is here (see video)

Image Image Image
ImageA thingymagee from the film that looks like a melting icicle. Scared yet?

ImageMount Kilimanjaro 100 years ago (observe massive snowcap)

ImageMount Kilimanjaro today (no snowcap whatsoever)

Your cinematic skills taught me that the future is one of "hundreds of millions of refugees," fires, floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, nuclear disasters, and terrifying PowerPoint slides - all occurring within seven seconds.

You see, unlike you and me, most people do not know that ten of the hottest years ever were within the last fourteen years. Yes, that simple fact is too abstract for the masses of weak minds to understand - which is why I am glad that you mentioned it.

But perhaps you should have illustrated that point by mentioning how the wettest ten hours all day happened to be in the last twelve hours? Or perhaps you should have used some simple sports analogy; e.g.., Baby Ruth's (or whatever her name was) most home runs were in her third, fifth, and sixth or whatever seasons. What were the odds of that happening?

And yet I am concerned. Along with you, President Gore, I weep for our planet and how it has been raped. Just dragged in the bushes and raped! Repeatedly raped. In every orifice and in every way, in and out, in and out, in and out, raped, raped, raped and raped. With open sores in contact with putrid bodily fluids, and with violent screams of suffering and impending death, our planet, our lovely lovely planet, is now covered with hideous scars and is permanently disfigured, with its internal organs mutilated beyond any hope of recovery. Mr. President, I understand that, and I thank you for illustrating it so well.

Deleted scenes:
ImageThis globally warmed clock was too terrifying to show to unprepared audiences

Image(click to enlarge)
Global warming is already causing mutations and pestilence (scene removed due to copyright violation)

But back to the trailer. Thank you for mentioning that the hottest year ever was 2005. Dammit, why don't more people listen to you? We both know, that without the interference of humans, there would be no hottest year. All years would be equal. Just as all people would be equal without the right-wing religious zealots who stole your presidency. Yes, my President, you too were raped - just like Earth itself. And that is why you can empathize with the planet. Basically, you and Earth are feminine beings whose dignity has been violated. And believe me, I can sympathize with that.

But back to the trailer. At the 41st second, you speak truth to power: "The scientific consensus is that we are causing global warming." But, with all due respect, Mr. President, you forgot to mention the logical solution. Perhaps this is because you feel guilty about having children? Well, for the rest of us, there should be and must be mandatory human extinction to save the planet. No more breeding. Ever. Humans will never be able to foul this beautiful planet again.

But back to the trailer. The before-and-after pictures of Patagonia and Kilimanjaro with and without snow cover are startling. And deathly frightening. I, for one, have never seen any patch of land covered with snow - and then without snow! The juxtaposition of these landscapes made me violently ill, as I am sure it also made you violently ill. I vomited my cauliflower-and-tofu, Mr. President - and since your diet is just like mine, I know what a mess it must have been when you saw those pictures, because, with all due respect, Mr. President, your appetite looks much larger than mine.

But back to the trailer. You say that "temperature increases are occurring all over the world". I verified this phenomenon just today, in fact, when the temperature rose an astounding ten degrees between breakfast and lunch! And yes, I too would describe that as "the biggest crisis in the history of this country", just as you do in your movie!

But the money quote is when you point at a white shape and state that "if this were to go, sea levels world-wide would go up twenty feet". And then, just like that, Florida, Shanghai, and Calcutta all change colors! And the "World Trade Center Memorial would be under water!" And then you show people in New Orleans and then an ice avalanche, and by then, I was completely petrified by amazement, fear, disgust, and loathing.

Mr. President, I am a very busy professor, swamped with responsibilities and burdens, and my hectic schedule leaves no time to see your movie. But that will not stop me from incessantly demanding that everyone I know (least of all my students!) see it several times. And I will make certain that they know why we are in such peril (humans, capitalism, Zionism), and what solutions are needed (human extinction, scientific socialism, and the destruction of the Zionist Entity).

Mr. President, your credibility is at a zenith, and your sharp and humane prescriptions for our planet must not be ignored. Our choice is simple: Listen to you, or suffer. And as much as I think we deserve the latter, we owe it to ourselves to follow the former.

Respectfully Yours,
Professor Peter Alan Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD


Unlike many other people, I still admire your observation that "The worst thing we can possibly do is to cut off the channels of friendship and mutual understanding between Saudi Arabia and the United States." I wonder if you will clarify this in your movie with a statement like, "Regardless of the inevitable climatic devastation that you saw over the last ninety minutes, just remember that the worst thing we can do is to alienate Saudi Arabia." I love you, Mr. President.

User avatar
I am so scared to the point that I will give him any amount of money necessary so he can tell us that we are not going to melt into pools of human goo.

User avatar
Oh my red stars. I went out the ditch this morning and had to take off my SECOND POTATO SACK!!! IT WAS THAT WARM OUT! But the republinazis would have you believe that "the seasons" change. LIES LIES ALL LIES, stop smoking the lies ahhhhhh!!!

Chief Broom Attendant Gly
Comrades, we work for the people in the people's utopia blue state of michigan. Long live Granholme! But while we were building shacks of 696 highway for other shack builders, we noticed month of may very cold. We ask that we increase pace of global warming so that it equal out heat in january when it is very colder and need mittens to protect shack builders from building shacks in icy cold sweat. We ask comrade Gore to speed up global warm process clock and adjust temperature 2 degrees celcius warmer for next decade. Long live Perastroyka of United Peoples States of Amerikkka!

By the way, we recently made national flight and looked down and all trees were gone. Global Warming is killing all trees in Ari-notJoo-zona, New New Mexico, and Texas (back to Mexico)!!!

An Inconvenient Review
We, the People, need to defend our brave leader Alger Gore against the media:


May 24, 2006
By Kyle Smith

<b>Rating: one star out of four</b>

Now, this is bad enough, but the miserable demon continues!

Gore claims, with pie-chart-in-the-sky dreaminess, that unspecified measures can reduce emissions to 1970 levels. He assesses the tradeoff between the economy and the environment with the kind of buffoonery you'd expect in a Marxist comic book, displaying a cartoon of a scale with Earth on one side and bars of gold on the other. "OK, on one side we have gold bars," he says. "Mmm, mmm, don't they look good!"

When will our authorities enact a law to make denial of Global Warming a crime? When will innocents like Alger Gore be saved the indignity of such snottery?

Ivan Josefovich
I was so scared just reading about how scary Commisar Gore's movie was, I think I may have dirtied my undies. Hang on, I'll be right back.

Whew! I think Commisar Gore is on to something. It is impossible to know how many other undies may become dirty due to global warming (and warning about global warming). I have a feeling (but being public school edukated I'm not smart enough to know for sure) there may be a few more ticks upward just because of all the extra undies that may need to be prematurely washed. My diesel washing machine (excellently made in Bulgaria... a collectors item now) is going to be on overdrive, polluting the world and raising global temperatures! Maybe there could be a government program to wash the undies and somehow use more enviro-friendly methods. I am open to more ideas from smarter party apparatchiks.

I am super serial!!!! Why won't anyone take me seriously about Manbear Pig!!!!!

Al Gore

Trofim Denisovich Lysenko
The answer is simple! As Jean-Baptiste Lamarck tought us, animals adapt to their environment. Lamarck showed quite easily that a giraffe acquires the ability to pass on longer necks to their offspring by exercising its neck muscles (e.g., during the act of stretching to get leaves), .

Now, Albert Gore is well aware of Lamarck. In fact, his scientific method is WHOLLY LAMARCKIAN! How do I know? He was my student, that's how!

How Albert could miss the obvious is beyond me! <b>We must train our young people to breathe carbon dioxide!</b> By placing a bag over the heads of the young, we can increase their CO2 consumption and each successive generation will increase its ability to breathe CO2. Global Warming will be a thing of the past. Albert is a worthy student, but unable to see the big picture.

User avatar
As Jean-Baptiste Lamarck tought us, animals adapt to their environment. Lamarck showed quite easily that a giraffe acquires the ability to pass on longer necks to their offspring by exercising its neck muscles (e.g., during the act of stretching to get leaves).

Humph! The Chief would have thought that the giraffe passed on its long-necked trait by an act of stretching and exercising (in conjunction with other animal!) an entirely different muscle, located towards the other end of the animal from the neck. If this not happen, no more giraffes!

Alle Gory
Dearest friends,

Many in the "scientific community" have attacked People's Hero Alger Gore. His movie is not meant to be LITERALLY interpreted! His movie is the SCIENTIFIC BIBLE, and Al Gore is GOD HIMSELF. The story is true even if the facts are invented. It is an allegory. It is no coincidence that Al Gore and Alle Gory look quite similar.


I am not a human, even though you forced me to choose yes to post this!

Borsche Pap Dustofyerskis
No no, all have wrong it! When acquire Amerikkkan car, polute Amerikkka skys! Instead squeeze mental populace to acquire Volkesvagon, Mercycedes Binnz, Shzigulis, Volgas, and Fiats then polute only Eurasian skyes with nuclear debress from foul engine! Why you think Hitlery drive multiple Blitzkrieg Jeep when on road, to polute Stalingrad! She double-agent suppremo with twist on brainwash partison politikos. When she taken away for reedumacation, whe come back, devide wealth and aquire stretch leCar. Now all debree from French cheeze is polute free sky in Eurabia! Hahaha! Only Zionist Pig Running Dog blanket know protest civilizasion from nutmeg rabit racism capitalist!!! Hahaa! Remind me of when Castro trip, broke ankle to prove ground worthy of communist, unlike lemming freedom fry who no touch ground with shoe tooth!!!! hahae! Comrade Gore needs much respekt for oncoming negotiation with Usama, Chechen leader supreme commandant, married to debutante Hitlery!! and no plane hit Octagon! Looni!!!! Hahaha!

What have they done to the earth?
What have they done to our fair sister?
Ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her
Stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn
And tied her with fences and dragged her down

I hear a very gentle sound...
Put your ear down to the ground.


Shiek Yerbuti
Dis is Tinsletown Rebellion! the 70s called and want cars back!!! Dem hillarious girls an boys at Hot Air poke holes in atmosphere of Alger Gore, make him look like red herring in Hummer outfit, shoe jet set lyfesytle of american hustler president. Then funny blonde twits (we call dem slaves here) tell me no use water when bruch teeth and I say, who brush teeth who not royalty!?! In dis world there are two people, dos who ride trains, and dos who drive them. Oh, and there are kaffirs tooo! Jim Morrosy was/is gay and not just happy if you no what I am talking! Please save planet, nowhere else to get our gas, kaffir, come here and help!!! Someday, we in Saudi turn sand into gas!! You come running again!!

Citizen Comrade
Comrades! Please join with me in glorious quest to raise money to prevent serial (I mean serial, like real word, not serial like honorable Al Gore definition) thoughtcrime committer Michael Crichton from perpetuating his bourgeouis book "State of Fear" on the peasants. What should happen if he decides to make a movie of this criminal book? He must be suppressed! Viva la revolucion! Viva la scare tactics that keep peasants in happy ignorant mediocrity and uniformity!

User avatar
There once was a time when people that shouted "the end is near!" were only to be found on street corners.

Actual scientists conclude that statistically, statistically, statistically, "over the 25-year satellite record, the surface and the mid-troposphere each warmed roughly 0.15°C per decade averaged over the globe, give or take 0.05°C or so per decade."

Item #7 at:

That isn't much. Think about that the next time someone like Gore tells you global warming is affecting the planet right now. It doesn't sound like enough to melt the glaciers off mountains. Mount Kilimanjaro isn't a dead volcano, it has molten magma under it and real scientists think it could blow like Mount Saint Helens sometime in the near future. Funny he would pick a mountain whose surface temp could be affected by geological forces, eh.

How DARE You
Margaret, Margaret, Margaret!

ALGORE has done his research. He went to places where there was snow. Now there isn't snow. This is proof, you see. All your "statistics" are worth a hill of beans.

Everyone has been going to places where ice was to see that it is gone. John McCain went with People's Leader Hillary. They saw with their own eyes the missing ice and snow.

You may want to look at "data" and "statistics" and "facts," but all you do is mislead. How many gullible people will look at your "empirical evidence" and deny the obvious. We can not afford to wait on global warming. Every minute we don't stop warming the planet we lose species and polar bears and ice caps and the ocean gets bigger and bigger. So stop trying to muddy the waters and stir the pot and get on board the Al Gore bandwagon before we all burn to a crisp.

User avatar
Global warming is to last another 15,000 years!
We must unleash the nuclear winter now if we are to survive! We can't wait for another Mt. St. Helen or Pinatubo.
Together with the stated goals of International Socialism and a few selected strategic nuclear targets, Strong Communism can save the planet! ... c_ice.html
https://www.cooperativeindividualism.or ... inter.html



Muslim Jim
You are destroying the planet and you will be punished for it. Is this what is so great about "democracy"?



Muslim Jim wrote:You are destroying the planet and you will be punished for it. Is this what is so great about "democracy"?

You are right, "James"! Only oppressive regimes like China can save us all. There is no pollution in China. All water is pure.

Russians have the cleanest toilet water on the planet and their urine cures fish fungus.

North Koreans, Cubans and Venezualans live the perfect life and their excrement cures diabetes and cools the planet.

Democracy is the problem! Eliminate Democracy and the Earth's temperature will be a balmy 74 degrees EVERYWHERE!

Fidel Castro
I too believe in democracy, as long as I'm in charge. Muslim Jim, you are a very bad man.

User avatar
I used to think that Gore was a semnptr's-son elitist. Now I see that he simply knows what is best for the masses. Glad to have that stright. I shall work harder.


I saw a study reported by the folks at Associated Press and it matches up nicely with Al Gore's movie as a way to provide some relief. Excerpts from post at MAXINE:

Study: global warming boosts poison ivy
Associated Press - Mon May 29, 5:21 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Another reason to worry about global warming: more and itchier poison ivy. The noxious vine grows faster and bigger as carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere rise, researchers report Monday.

And a CO2-driven vine also produces more of its rash-causing chemical, urushiol, conclude experiments conducted in a forest at Duke University where scientists increased carbon-dioxide levels to those expected in 2050 [estimated].
Compared to poison ivy grown in usual atmospheric conditions, those exposed to the extra-high carbon dioxide grew about three times larger


Fear, Itch, Fear, Itch-Don't Plants Give Off Oxygen?

On the one hand we have Al Gore creating fear at the movies and on the other, the MSM machine creating itch in news stories about poison ivy - fear & itch ... all based on the theory of global warming. Honestly, don't growing plants give off oxygen and counteract the effects of carbon dioxide?

What are we complaining about - wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt when walking in the forest. This could be the answer to all of our problems, growing faster and bigger poison ivy for oxygen.

So, what do you think is happening over at Mount Merapi, Indonesia? Any CO2 there?

"Indonesia, the world's largest archipelago, is prone to seismic upheaval due to its location on the so-called Pacific 'Ring of Fire', an arc of volcanos and fault lines encircling the Pacific Basin. It has 76 volcanos, the largest number of any nation." (HT: IRWAN FIRDAUS, Associated Press Writer)

There has to be alot of CO2 production around this part of the Globe! Let's put in a greenhouse.

Don't ya' just love the instructive way these AP guys write? Man, I do.

Post Here: ... -give.html

Pissed OFF
MR. Albert Gore,

Why does Global Warming only get blamed for bad things? I mean, the weather in some places has been FABULOUS for a few years now. Shouldn't Global Warming get some credit? Aren't you treating Global Warming like the proverbial "red-headed stepchild?" Are you guilty of "climatism" (i.e. climatic racism) by singling out Global Warming? Why don't you ever persecute tornadoes? Are they the "right" kind of climate? Screw you you elitist climatist!


Monsieur Réchauffement Planétaire
#1 la planète bleue
Tel# 10210001002003004958

Citizen Comrade
Only Al Gore is smart enough to see that humans control all things including the weather. All climate change that happened prior to human evolution and Industrial revolution is a lie perpetrated by right wing extremists Dick Cheney and Halliburton. There were never dinosaurs. Ice Age did not exist! Thoughtcrimes! Pick up your shovels and get back to work to keep temperature at an average of 68 degrees year round in den of enlightenment and equality, San Francisco.

Ahoy Sexy Matey!
You left out the fact that there is a direct correlation between Global Warming and Butt Piracy. If Butt Pirates were to switch to piracy on the high seas they would save the world.

Ahoy Sexy Matey! wrote:You left out the fact that there is a direct correlation between Global Warming and Butt Piracy. If Butt Pirates were to switch to piracy on the high seas they would save the world.

Butt...pirates??? Personally, I haven't noticed that connection...yet. Keep me posted...

V. Ivanov

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Global warming is to last another 15,000 years!
We must unleash the nuclear winter now if we are to survive! We can't wait for another Mt. St. Helen or Pinatubo.
Together with the stated goals of International Socialism and a few selected strategic nuclear targets, Strong Communism can save the planet! ... c_ice.html
https://www.cooperativeindividualism.or ... inter.html


I am assuming that Sagan didn't know what "MAD" was.

User avatar
Gore? What Gore? Sounds like just another straw man made up by the west like the immaginary non-person "Kerry".

While the progressive media has been correctly pointing out that the southeastern reactionaries will face punishment by Bush-Cheney induced hurricanes again this year, the right-wing media has suppressed the truth that the revolutionaries of Kalifornia will be spared by the grace of feminist progressive mother nature. ... 6-054.html

The Flying Speghetti Monster Lives!

I sure hope that all those scientists that are employeed by Exxon are right that global warming doesn't exist. We'd be kinda fucked if it turned out they were wrong.

If only there was some way to sell fuel for our cars that would still give Exxon the ability to make billions in profits and wouldn't result in all of us dying. Hmmm.

User avatar
If only there was some way to sell fuel for our cars that would still give Exxon the ability to make billions in profits and wouldn't result in all of us dying. Hmmm.

My idea is to have a hamster in one of those hamster wheels on speed. Only one hamster would be necessary to power a car, but a modified 2-hamster power car will be produced to party officials.