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News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

5/15/2016, 1:29 am
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Iran's Big Kahuna objects to appropriation of the white devil's tongue.
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5/16/2016, 12:59 pm
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Airlines now offering flights to the front of the TSA line
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5/19/2016, 3:54 am
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No place to pee.
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5/20/2016, 10:26 pm
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Melting Antarctic glacier could cause sale levels to rise up to 80 percent off select items by this weekend
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5/24/2016, 6:16 pm
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In response to recent polls, Hillary announces that she now identifies as a transgender man named Bill.
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6/1/2016, 6:20 pm
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NOBEL, THE SAME ORGANIZATION WHO GAVE OBAMA THE PEACE PRIZE PONDER OFFERING AWARDS TO PARENTS CAPABLE OF KEEPING THEIR KIDS OUT OF THE GORILLA CAGE..
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FTA: “ Zoo officials initially felt the brunt of the criticism from those who argued the gorilla's space should not be so easily accessible, and that zoo officials should have tried tranquilizing the gorilla before killing it. But when animal experts such as Jack Hanna defended the zoo keepers, critics' attention shifted to the mother, Michelle Gregg, and her parenting skills.Now, word has come out that Greg works as a daycare administrator, taking attacks on her parenting capabilities to the next level. "
~~~~~~~~~~
Never mind her parenting skills…how about her voting record?????
https://www.westernjournalism.com/the-j ... 2016-06-01
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6/2/2016, 8:10 am
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Pregnant Woman falls into Planned Parenthood enclosure.
Armed authorities at odds over who should die.
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6/4/2016, 8:39 pm
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Bureau of Labor Statistics lowers unemployment rate to 0%, orders everyone to stop looking for work
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6/6/2016, 8:23 pm
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Budweiser Sidelines Clydesdales in Favor of Budweiser Executives Pulling the Budweiser Beer Wagon in Superbowel Commercials Promoting An Obamanation

https://www.allenbwest.com/michele/bud- ... n-it-gains
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6/11/2016, 10:26 am
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FBI Vows To Go Public If The Obama Admin Refuses To Uphold The Law And Indict Hillary~
Secret Service Vows to Arrest Itself If The FBI Does Its Job

https://donaldtrumpnews.co/news/fbi-vow ... t-hillary/
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6/12/2016, 6:58 pm
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White House In Lockdown After ISIS Gunman Kills 50 In Orlando Gay Nightclub.
Secret Service fears ISIS may attempt to kill two birds with one stone.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... tages.html
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6/12/2016, 7:32 pm
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FBI Too Busy Digging Through Hillary's Email To Stay Current With “ISIL Inspired Attacks”.
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6/13/2016, 7:31 am
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As The Fruit of Our Obamanation Plays Out…Drudge Report Website Runs Low On Red Ink
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6/13/2016, 7:10 pm
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American flags ordered raised to full mast marking Obama's first use the word “Terrorism” during yet another muslim terror attack.
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6/14/2016, 7:14 pm
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Bank robbery prompts calls for ban on burlap sacks with dollar signs on the side.

Comrades! My bank and several others were robbed the other day. Therefore I call for an immediate ban on burlap sacks that have dollar signs on the side. After all, the robber may have had a motivation to rob the banks, and he may have robbed them anyway, but he couldn't have carried off nearly as much cash without the burlap sack. Comrades, we need to ignore the motivation and the will! Ban burlap sacks!
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6/18/2016, 11:41 am
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Trump invites Paul Ryan of Taqiyya to a BLT Luncheon..https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/ ... im-ban-sue .
Bacon Test.jpg
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6/24/2016, 3:01 pm
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After two days of downbeat news (SCOTUS immigration decision, Brexit), Obama cries on Biden's shoulder. Laments the fact that everyone is not as smart as him. Promises to remind them.
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6/25/2016, 9:47 am
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The BREXIT Reality: Obama's Attempted Muslim Takeover of America is Stalin.
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6/27/2016, 5:50 pm
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Brexit vote null and void - Briton still in EU - rules Brussels EU bureaucrat in charge of regulating elections
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6/29/2016, 2:11 pm
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7/3/2016, 1:27 pm
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7/5/2016, 6:13 pm
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"Other than breaking several laws I don't think a reasonable prosecutor can prove she wanted to break any laws so I don't recommend any charges be bought against her," said Comey.
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7/6/2016, 8:08 am
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Comey's FBI's Report on Hillary Clinton Emails Recommends Gun Confiscation.
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7/10/2016, 6:35 pm
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TV super sleuth series based on modern day Sherlock Holmes, Barack Holmes, gets canceled as dwindling audience tires of predictable Barack Holmes always discovers the gun was the murderer.
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7/11/2016, 2:19 pm
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The Big Friendly Giant State flops at the box office. "it's creepy."
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7/12/2016, 1:54 pm
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MSNBC tests the age old question: When an also-ran Establishment RINO grumbles into a microphone, does anyone hear it?
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7/16/2016, 6:54 pm
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When Obama asked about Turkey coup, "Yeah, I know about Turkey coups. They're just like chicken coups, only bigger."
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7/23/2016, 10:08 pm
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Vladimir Lenin advocated: “The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the revolutionary currency of socialism's heroic leaders with fetish of trendy hipsterism.”
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7/24/2016, 9:44 pm
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"I often feel like there's the Hillary standard and then there's the standard for everybody else," said Hillary today
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7/27/2016, 5:53 pm
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If Hillary's deleted emails are about yoga and weddings why would Russian exposure of them be treasonous collusion with Trump to undermine Hillary?
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7/29/2016, 7:52 am
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Hillary's nomination explains the nefarious goals behind Chemtrails™.
Chemtrails-Hillary.jpg
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mi
8/1/2016, 3:35 pm
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In an effort to cut the red tape and lower barriers to entry, Obama Administration eliminates the requirement for flag-burners to have a fire-permit.
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8/7/2016, 4:07 pm
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Stockholm Syndrome Strikes Hillary's Vp Choice As He Announces Ransom Payment To Iran Was Appropriate.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/kain ... le/2598800
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8/7/2016, 11:40 pm
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The devil files police complaint - bought Hillary's soul, got ripped off
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8/8/2016, 2:14 pm
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Hillary's bartender always at her side. "Only person that understands me," she says.
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8/12/2016, 1:06 pm
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What Secret Favors Did Hillary Sell Today? Popular new gameshow.
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8/12/2016, 3:13 pm
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What secret favors did Hillary sell THIS DAY IN HISTORY?
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8/12/2016, 3:17 pm
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What secret favors will she sell? Futurist prog-nosticators ponder Hillary's possibilities for plunder
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8/13/2016, 4:25 pm
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The Clinton Foundation set to investigate the FBI
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8/27/2016, 3:50 pm
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New TPC spokesman Bernie Sanders says: "Buy One People's Cube For The Price Of Two and Get a Second People's Cube Free!"
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9/14/2016, 10:56 pm
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Chelsea Clinton opens neighborhood Emergency Room Chain
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9/15/2016, 8:55 pm
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Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food
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9/19/2016, 8:52 pm
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Hillary Clinton's new book Stronger Together first book in Amazon history to have more reviews than sales
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9/21/2016, 9:38 pm
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Hillary to design market own line of her stunning world famous 'Cow Bell coat' fashions
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mi
9/22/2016, 11:40 am
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ISIS empowers women.
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mi
9/26/2016, 5:52 pm
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Hillary Clinton disqualified from the debates by the US Anti-Doping Agency.
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mi
9/27/2016, 1:44 pm
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After 8 years of it being racist, on November 8th the nation is to decide, whether dissent becomes sexist or patriotic again.
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10/1/2016, 12:13 pm
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Many still undecided on how they're not going to vote
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10/6/2016, 9:31 pm
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FEMA is flying Tim Kaine to Florida where Hurricane Matthew will make landfall to see if he can interrupt it.
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10/8/2016, 3:36 pm
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Frustrated Democrats flock to Florida beaches to remove Trump signs.
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10/9/2016, 12:53 pm
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The definition of “Journalism” to be corrected in 2017 editions of dictionaries under a Trump presidency.
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mi
10/14/2016, 10:17 pm
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MoveOn.org rebrands itself to argue for moving on from accusations of past gropings.
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10/18/2016, 5:05 pm
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Hillary raises millions to "get the money out of politics"
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10/19/2016, 9:15 am
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EPA Gives Hillary a Laurel and Hardy Handshake For Honest Mistake!
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10/20/2016, 5:17 pm
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If the government were a gun would Hillary want "commonsense regulations" to prevent her from being irresponsible with it?
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10/22/2016, 4:24 pm
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Will Hillary accept a defeat in November or will she blame Russian hacker voting fraud?
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10/25/2016, 5:21 pm
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STRONGER TOGETHER - the motto of herd animals everywhere - proves to be a winner at galvanizing the Democrat party
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10/28/2016, 2:19 pm
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CubeLeaks exclusive: Clinton email to God promises God a cut of the action and a place in Clinton Foundation if he allows her in heaven instead of sending her to hell... and give Bill million dollar speaking engagement deal in eternity when she dies
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10/29/2016, 2:57 pm
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Trump's speech in Golden Colorado moments ago nails the coughing!
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11/2/2016, 2:01 pm
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"Huma Abedin? Never heard of her!" explained Hillary Clinton.
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11/4/2016, 9:12 am
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Nobel Prize Winning Obama Will Pardon Himself For Treason
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11/4/2016, 2:10 pm
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UN deploys troops to U.S. college campuses in order to combat staggeringly low rape rates
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11/6/2016, 5:01 pm
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"Why would my maid need a security clearance? She was fully bonded," explained Hillary.
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11/6/2016, 10:43 pm
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Comey's rope-a-dope has stopped Hillary's bleeding at the nth hour
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11/9/2016, 12:10 pm
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Barack Obama's historical legacy in one t-shirt:

"Barack Obama? Who the hell is Barack Obama? Never heard of him!"
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11/9/2016, 10:20 pm
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Clinton Foundation in Foreclosure as Foreign Donors Demand Refunds
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11/10/2016, 12:55 pm
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The left burns America down to the ground in protest of "dangerous Trump presidency."
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11/12/2016, 12:05 am
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"I have asked Hillary to be the Ambassador to Libya"
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11/12/2016, 10:46 am
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White Fat Cat of orange color meets blackish Limp Wrist in White House.
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11/12/2016, 3:20 pm
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Climate Resistance! From now on ― asteroids on course to Earth will be named Donald-1, -2, etc. while approaching hurricanes will be labeled Melania-1, -2, and so on.
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11/12/2016, 5:40 pm
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In ironic and hilarious twist Adolf Hitler does a Hillary movie. Secret footage of Hillary going violently crazy and needing to be sedated on election night. Subtitles in German of Hitler in the bunker.
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11/12/2016, 7:21 pm
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If Hillary's e-mail server could talk: "Looks like I scrubbed Hillary."
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11/13/2016, 1:55 pm
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People's Cube awards its peace prize to anti Trump rioters
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11/13/2016, 7:34 pm
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David Brooks still not examined Trump's pant leg to judge the crease. Constitutional crisis looms?
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11/13/2016, 8:22 pm
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To destroy Trump: burn coal (today); planet warms (tomorrow); climate collapses (mid 2017); put blame on Trump; start impeachment; in Nov. 2017 vote Shrillary.
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11/13/2016, 9:47 pm
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Democrats blame Hillary's criminal e-mail server for her loss, demand it face prison
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11/15/2016, 8:07 pm
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Ichthyology News.
Emissaries from Golf states arrive at Clinton HQ, carry fresh fish - wrapped in NYTimes.
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11/17/2016, 12:46 am
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Trump wins, Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt buys out all available anti-diarrhea drugs. _(MEMRI)
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11/19/2016, 9:20 am
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John McCain is disappointed in the lack of favorable press coverage available to republicans working with republican presidents
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11/19/2016, 5:04 pm
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California declares itself a sanctuary State for democrats
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