Trump-Mueller collusion exposed, Russkies control them both!

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Two years, 25 million rubl.. dollars, 19 lawyers, hundreds of witnesses, thousands of subpoenas - and then this? Bad Orange Man off the hook, just like that??
Yet at last, the People's Kubiform Laser cut through the thicket of all the strings being pulled here:

One word. Just one word. Pomerania.

Herr August C.E. Müller, citizen of Pomerania, aged 35, sets foot in New World, A.D. 1855. Four generations later, among his grand-grand-grandsons: uh-oh, Robert Swan Mueller III.

And now all the investigative facts:


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(here BIG) (+variant)
They had fish there, in their Ostsee aka Baltic:

easily - as you see - the size of a sea vessel(!):

Yet even then, that fish - as documented above - appeared only sporadically.
(By now it's fully extinct. No more flattop-sized fish in the Baltic. Global Warming, yikes!)

And country life?

Here you have it :
(1) white heteropatriarchal hegemonialism,
(2) brutishly oppressive gendero-denialist sexism,
(3) merciless exploitation of natural co-mammalian resources,
(4) Mare Balticum alias Ostsee in the background.
All in all, little wonder Herr Müller-1855 left Pomerania for new shores, ja?

Plot, hidden in plain sight:

Hawk-eyed comrades already spotted it.
Now the details, for the whole collective:

So, a plain citizen of Pomerania. Plotting something, or maybe coding. The code (partially decrypted!) he either sends, or perhaps receives. (and what - "Mili(t)aria Germanica"? "communi(st)a"?? we better not go there...)

But wait - look! His face! Hundred percent Mueller, ain't it? A Pomeranian Müller, obvious ancestor of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, no doubt.

Now his counterpart:

Hmm, looks like a stately Hanseatic merchant, doesn't he? And he is the boss here, ja? Obviously, does verbal coding. "Hansa" man talks code, and Müller receives, period.

So, proto-Mueller and "Hansa" in coded exchange...
But there is more!
Outside the dominion of Pomerania, a new figure comes into play:

Any comrade who didn't instantly recognize the newcomer, s|he frankly deserves a free ride to Kolyma (sans beets!).
All others, in chorus: Jawohl, a German progenitor of Trump!

Two generations after Herr Müller-1855 of Pomerania, now - 1885 - Herr Friedrich Trump, of Rhenish Palatinate (at that time part of the Kingdom of Bavaria), arrives (aged 16) in the Land of Opportunity, and goes Klondike. Two generations later, among his grandsons: most glorious Winning-Tremendous-Incredible Bad Orange Covfefe Man.

So, that old document shows: the Müllers of Pomerania already worked hand in hand with the Trumps of Palatinate. Using coded language, and guided by a mysterious "Hansa" man.

Skeptic comrades may ask: But, but - the distance.. Pomerania here, Palatinate there?
C'mon.. A measly 400 miles for sure wouldn't hamper a juicy collusion, eh? :


Plot revealed!

The giveaway! onoochi! Not a "Hansa" man, but a Russkie agent! See yourself, comrade!

It's not "uh, just 2016-2019", comrades. There is, and was, a Trump(s)-Mueller(s) collusion going back to mid 19th century, discreetly aided - indeed, contrived! - by Russkies, all the time, until now. Any doubt, comrades?: "golden showers", "grabbing the whatever", and now Mueller Report - Russkie control, A to Z.

...and last-minute:
Rumor now has it, that HUMINT/SIGINT sensors, strategically posted along the walls enclosing glorious Kremlin, caught (among many) this worthy bit of Putin-speak:

nu davaytye, ryebyata - tyepyer' pasmotrim kak kontrolirovat' barra.
(meaning: well, guys - now let's see how can we manipulate Barr.)
... any questions?

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I'm convinced Genosse Dummkopf. Forelock tug for your excellent presentation to map out the facts of this collusion.

#BR 549

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Lovely to see you Komrade GD!

And your research is OUTSTANDING exposing how far back this plot to collude and interfere with the 2016 election actually goes. KUDOS!

I think things are going to be getting right down to the nitty gritty on all this delusional collusion illusion so I am actually working on some beet flavored popcorn.


User avatar someone due reparations? Reparations are quite trendy now. My concern is principally the merciless exploitation of natural co-mammalian resources.

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jackalopelipsky wrote:... Forelock tug ...
Ushanka tip back, Komrade Jackalopelipsky.


        Mystery item No. 1

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Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... working on some beet flavored popcorn ...


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Papa Kalashnikook wrote:... My concern is principally the merciless exploitation of natural co-mammalian resources ...
da! plain horror...

(and just think what they might have done to, say, Rodents...)
(and our Colonel Obyezyana must be hopping mad, too...)
(and then - Gospodi pomiluy! - cute lil' Kittens...)
(and also...)

Comrade Google Translator makes (ruen) "Gospodi pomiluy" "All hail Komrade Marx".
Russki botski @ work?

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... working on some beet flavored popcorn ...


Komrade GD, I have been in search of the perfect marketing song for the popcorn, the perfect tune, the perfect perky popcorn melody to inspire lots of sales and had pretty much settled on this................................

Thanks to your inspiration, I'm chunking that in the trash and going with a whole new strategy and musical ditty to market the G.W.O.N.T. BEET FLAVORED BUTTERED POPCORN.................

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The Popcorn Song was very popular in the Motherland starting with the late 1970 and has since become an integral part of Russian musical culture. As a timeless classic, it is now even being used in Russian commercials. This one is about a new smartphone app.

Coincidence? I don't think so. Proof of Trump-Motherland Kollusion? You be the judge.

Most people of my generation knew it from this wildly popular cartoon series:

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Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

... I'm chunking that in the trash ...
Glorious Komradette, you're absolutely right!
Because: The beet flavor doesn't come through! _ (Trump-Mueller-Russkies collusion, again?)

        Mystery item No. 2

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Red Square wrote:

... Proof of Trump-Motherland Kollusion? You be the judge.
Sure as Kreml, Kollusion!

As Trump's KKK (Kranky Kollusive Kapitalizm) spreads in Motherland,
just wait for the Next Step: Tryasi SmartZhopku!

(Zhopku?.. Zhopku??... Komrade, reeducate yourself !)

... and next, grabby crabby shrubby grubby Kollusive Kapitalizm kaputs the last remains of Russkie hegemonitoxic parochiapatriarchal masculinospreadity:


        Mystery item No. 3

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Red Square wrote:
Most people of my generation knew it from this wildly popular cartoon series:

Surely a "Shurik" rip-off, no?

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Grendelssohnovovich wrote:Surely a "Shurik" rip-off, no?
Kollusion with Shurik, indeed! How did you know? Are you a member of the Mueller Team? Or have you gotten a sneak peek of the Mueller Report?


"Operation Y and Shurik's Other Adventures" is one of the best Soviet comedies made in 1965. It consists of 3 novellas, the first one with the above construction site episode. The main character in all of them is Shurik, a technical university student with Trump-like orange hair.

Here it is, with English subs. If you have 1.5 hours to spare, I highly recommend it. I'd be curious to find out how my new American comrades perceive it, and what parts they find funny (if at all). Humor doesn't always translate well, but Cubists should be more advanced in this area than others. (If it doesn't play on this page, click through to YouTube).

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Glorious Komradette, you're absolutely right!
Because: The beet flavor doesn't come through! _ (Trump-Mueller-Russkies collusion, again?)

You are so correct G.D. It's just like the ingredients. Using only the best will produce the ultimate flavor blending of the beets and butter.

One would NEVER substitute pure sweet unsalted whipped light and airy butter........................

        Mystery item No. 4

with imitation squeeze bottle margarine.......................

        Mystery item No. 5

At least no sane person would.