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Dear BobMagob, you are my hero. Your progressive policies are a shining example to the world. You set out to share the wealth and now every person in Zimboobery is a billionaire. Your national health plan has lead every person to become a vegan and obesity is a thing of the past. Most of all you've demonstrated the absurdity of term limits and elections.

I sure hope Obama is paying attention. Keep up the good work.

Obamugabe, I have a message for you from former prez Jiminy Cricket Carter...

Dear Obamugabe,

I have always loved the dictators and strongmen of the violently unstable countries of the Middle East and Africa. They are despised by much of the civilized world so they are always eager to welcome a useful idiot such as me as they see my interest and friendship as a path to possible legitmacy and, of course, wealth and influence. In return, I can use these despots as a means to get face time on TV and in the major media and convince myself that I am still important on the world stage.

Obamugabe, I think we have a lot to offer each other. I have never been one to sit around and ignore problems when I can go give a speech at the UN and blame people I don't like for them instead. So, I would like to come and visit your misbegotten third-world backwater socialist utopia and investigate the famine situation there myself. Together, maybe we can come with a convincing way to blame right-wing racist bigots in the US and/or war-mongering Israelis for it. If we can, you will end up with millions of dollars in food aid that you can bank for yourself, spend on weapons and booze or whatever, plus a new found respect on the world stage. I will end up getting the attention I crave and burnishing my reputation (in progressive circles, anyway) as a dignified elder statesman (stop laughing!) It's win-win for both of us! What do you say?

JEC

Comrade Obamugabe,

You are a shining example of Progressive government in action. These miscreants will no longer be a burden on Society and the Party. These Reich wingers will be among the first to be converted into an asset to Planet Earth, the Party and last but not least, the Children™.
Your plan to improve the quality of life for Progressives will spread like wildfire and soon, there will be Soylent Green collection stations around the world to make your dream a reality.

Well done, Comrade!!

Vlad the Impaler once did something very similar. He invited many poor people to a banquet. When they were all inside, he locked them in and burned the building to the ground. His justification? "There will now be no more poor people in my country."

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Comrade Obamugabe:


Indeed, I am most impressed with your tactic for securing the Womyn's Vote in Glorious Zimboowy....


One bride at a time!


Brilliant!


P.S. Perhaps there is time between now and 2012 for our own Dear Leader (apuH) to employ the same technique? If not perhaps Colonel 7.62 may slow things down enough to catch up? If I am not mistaken, He has appointed an Equal Opportunity Czar who advocates polygamy.

Oh! My!

Comrades!


The Ministry of Truth FactCheck.org has verified that The Great One (apuH) IS indeed married to all female residents of the USSA (both documented and non-documented).... they have posted what appears to be an abbreviated copy of a Hawaii Marriage Certificate…


Excellent work, Colonel! For now our OWN Dear Leader (apuH) has surpassed Obamugabe! I'm sure Obamugabe is now quite envious.

Excellent solution, Comrade Obamugabe. Once our farms lands are taken by eminent domain for ethanol production, and wind turbines, we may need to apply it here.

This solution is so innovative it borders on heroism. Now all that you have left to do is rid the country of white capitalists.

That's terrible! If there are still any white capitalists left there, they must be cleansed immediately!

All hail Obamugabe; with Glory and Beauty he doth Bestow upon the breast of Mother Earth the blood of his enemies. Prithee show our Fair and Dear Ohhh-bama the Wonder of thy Equal Ways. Amen.