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Sexy Lenin, e-smoking Stalin, and Marx the Terminator

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The Russian Communist Party is sexing up its election campaign with Photoshopped posters depicting the Bolshevik leader, Lenin, as a young stud with a red laptop, a communist t-shirt, blue jeans, and a hot babe by his side. Then there's a Photoshopped picture of Stalin sucking on a red advanced personal vaporizer, or MOD (a type of e-cigarette for you non-smokers), with a caption, "Modernize, comrades!" There's also a leather-clad Karl Marx carrying a volume of Das Kapital (spelled in English for some reason as "Capital") and saying the Terminator's line, "I'll be back," also in English.

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This is done admittedly in an effort to attract younger voters, especially women, who the Russian Communist Party strategists believe would rather be seen with a cool and healthy hunk of sexy man-meat than with a square and sickly aging bookworm.

We should warn our comrades in the Motherland, however, that in the progressive quarters of American academia, to where the vanguard of the revolutionary thought has now been relocated, such views are considered sexist, ageist, racist, and homophobic, while the posters themselves constitute a clear micro-aggression that can easily trigger a campaign of denunciations followed by lengthy apologies and resignations among the Party leadership.

We are also shocked and appalled that our comrades in the Motherland should think that in order to make the communist icons look more cool they should be made to look more American - complete with the English language and Hollywood catch phrases, as well as capitalist Levi's, biker jackets, sneakers, MODs, laptops, and smart phones - none of which are produced in the Motherland.

Instead of promoting communism, this approach subliminally plants a subversive idea that communists need capitalism in order to look cool. The only redeeming features in this entire agitprop are young Lenin's red cap and scarf - a hint that he might be gay or at least bisexual.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with revising and pimping up history - Stalin himself used to Photoshop comrades in and out of the pictures even before Photoshop was invented. However, couldn't the Russian communist organizers find at least one cool thing invented and manufactured in the USSR during the seventy years of the Communist Party rule that these characters could be wearing or holding in their hands? Like, for example… Well… Anyway, the alternative korrekt approach to modern agitprop would have been to make the characters more diverse and less Western, representing minority world cultures.

Thus, Stalin could be made into a kuffia-wearing Palestinian rebel with an AK-47, Lenin could be African-American in the New Black Panthers Party uniform carrying a bag of medical marijuana, the female person next to him could be a plus-sized lesbian in hijab, and Karl Marx could have large female breasts identifying a transgendered individual in Birkenstocks and ethnic clothing, while holding the Koran under his arm.

These are the coolest archetypes of the modern era that would be guaranteed to attract the largest number of progressive millenials. Please make a note of it.

While this first piece of advice is free, any follow-up consulting and agitptop manufacturing will be charged according to prevailing union rates as per 2016 Graphic Artists Guild Handbook's pricing guidelines.

P.S. Nevertheless, we did like the picture of Lenin fingering the touchpad, so we added him to the group of babushka cheerleaders at the top of the People's Blog - all in the spirit of communist redistribution, of course.

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See the larger posters below:

"There is such a party!" - a Lenin's quote; he said it answering a politician's allegation that no Party can steer the country out of trouble. Lenin's voice from the back of the room screamed, "There is such a party!" The rest is history.

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Stalin: "Modernize, comrades!" (not a real quote).

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"The second century online" - probably meaning that the communist revolution in Russia will be a hundred years old next year and will be entering its second century, this time online. Or it could simply mean the second century of failure.

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Karl Marx: "I'll be back" - wearing blue jeans, a leather jacket, and a red t-shirt, holdng his book, Das Kapital, apparently in English translation. Extra beet ration to a comrade who can identify the make and model of Marx's watch. Let's hope it's not a counterfeit Rolex.

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can't repeat this often enough :

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

( George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905-1906 )



Santayana.History.jpg

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... or, for that matter, Comrade Marx himself :

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.
Karl Marx (1852)

full passage :

Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.
Karl Marx ( Der achtzehnte Brumaire des Louis Bonaparte, 1852 )

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2117 - Two Centuries of Failure Prove Nothing!


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And who's the man at the laptop? He has that "just got purged" look.

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Red Square wrote:...Anyway, the alternative korrekt approach to modern agitprop would have been to make the characters [highlight=#ffff00]more diverse and less Western[/highlight], representing minority world cultures ...
uh, where is that ostentatious Soviet multiculturalism of yore ?

called then "internationalism", embodied by Comintern, and depicted with pompous rigidity — ethnicities (of Soviet Empire) ecstatically greeting Batyushka Stalin, their benefactor :


p1.SU.poster.Stalin.Mir-Trud-Mai.jpg
(and always a prominent place for women ! women equal ! (that was ok, no doubt)
women in production ! and kids in state care ! (uh-oh — so that was the "deal"... ))

(it was not just a "productivity" thing, there was also an intent to undermine the institution of family and raising kids first and foremost by family ; do we see an eerie comeback of that ?)


p2.SU.poster.Stalin.Cult.(600).jpg
diversity ! inclusivity ! Uzbek, Tadjik, Turkmen (she) !


p3.SU.poster.Stalin.ethnicities.вперед.(600).jpg
p3.a.SU.poster.Stalin.ethnicities.jpg
Georgian ! Pribaltik (Estonian?) ! Ukrainian (she) ! Transgendered apparatchik ! conductor !


p3.b.SU.poster.Stalin.ethnicities.jpg
Transgendered apparatchik ! F-gendered apparatchitsa ! Uzbek (she) ! Karakalpak ! Kyrgyz (she) !


p4.SU.DE.1952.Stalin.Adenauer.Stalins Vorschlag -Neutralität Deutschlands.(600).jpg
p4.a.SU.DE.1952.Stalin.Adenauer.Stalins Vorschlag -Neutralität Deutschlands.(600).jpg
Byelorussian (she) ! Soldier (Russian) ! picturesque Hutsul pair (south-west Ukraine, Carpathian mountains) ! Uzbek gal ! and the greyish man ? why, rabid dwarf of Imperialism and blood-bathed arsonist of Cold War, Herr Konrad Adenauer, dse Dsherman Kanzler !

p4.b.SU.DE.1952.Stalin.Adenauer.Stalins Vorschlag -Neutralität Deutschlands.(600).jpg
benevolent Batyushka ! Byelorussian apparatchitsa ! Russian apparatchitsa ! Uzbek ! three Russian women ! Cossack !


Now full ethno-multi cornucopia :

p5.SU.Stalin.Glory to Stalin.1949.(600).jpg
p5.a.SU.Stalin.Glory to Stalin.1949.(600).jpg
added Lithuanian gal ! Azeri woman (Azerbaijan-inclusivity) ! and many, many apparatchiks !


p5.b.SU.Stalin.Glory to Stalin.1949.(600).jpg
pioneers - boys and gals ! Siberians (alas, no Chukchi...) ! many, many apparatchiks !
and Batyushka, himself !


The "yellow", "black", "brown" (sombrero!), plus occasional Arab appeared not with Batyushka, but with a muscular Sovyetskiy Chelovyek, staged as their - workers - leader.

Sovyetskiy Chelovyek - Sowjetmensch - was just the red variant of Übermensch.


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Is Lenin wearing... jeans? Isn't that something from the capitalistic west?

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This is very exciting!!! Russian Communist Idol contest!! Much better than Amerikkkan Idol and all their kapitalist fakery!


Stalin is first..........................................

https://www.mancrushes.com/hot-men/jose ... alive-evil

Marx is second......................................

https://www.mancrushes.com/hot-men/karl ... vil-father

Lenin is in third......................................

https://www.mancrushes.com/hot-women/vl ... lay-bad-or

I just know when these pictures spread like wildfire around internet dear Vlad will rocket to first like firecracker!!! With that red cap and red laptop looking like eye candy, he is sure to get repeated votes. He even has sexy chicken on his arm!

Stalin and his E-cigarette, not so sexy.

Sorry Marx, tight fitting leather jacket, does not a sexy bushy bolshevik make.

If only there were a talent contest (sigh). Would love to see sexy Vlad shake some stuff around.

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How crass. One would think the communist party would be a rock of stability in this crazy mixed up world.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:How crass. One would think the communist party would be a rock of stability in this crazy mixed up world.

It still is. You're just clinging to that old, tired Communist Party of yesteryear, and not the New, Energetic Communist Party of the Future that will carry us throughout the millennium!

Either that or your Communism doesn't fit you, you can't just get your Communism off the rack like you could back in the good old USSR days. You have to make sure that your Communism is you. If you're more of a brash revolutionary, you might want to try on something from the Soviet Union's "Leanin' Lenin" collection. If you're hot-tempered or like the "well-groomed moustache" look, you might wanna try on something from the Soviet Union's "Uncle Joe" collection. If you're more apt to sitting down and writing for the local Party instead of being out in the streets protesting against corporations or republicans, something from the house of Marx & Engels might be for you. There's even a more recent designer called Mao that has that far-eastern exotic flair that would be perfect for the cocktail lounge or sweatshop. If you're more of an "I want it my way" kind of guy, something from the designer Kim Il-sung is definitely you. But, no matter who you wear, I'd definitely recommend buying some accessories from the house of Gorbachev's "Glasnost and Perestroika" collection if you really want to win over your Reagan-worshipping Kapitalist pig-dog friends.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:It still is. You're just clinging to that old, tired Communist Party of yesteryear, and not the New, Energetic Communist Party of the Future that will carry us throughout the millennium!


So point on Comrade Stierlitz! How will old worn out Communist Party ideas that have failed miserably throughout the world continue if we don't find new ways to appeal to the young up and coming proles? It's all about packaging and presentation. You can can sell dung if you dress it up, give it fancy words like 'HOPE and CHANGE' and have it walk through impressive fake Greek columns that resemble portico of important building. It's the 'flash in pan' that grabs the attention of the GPA challenged snowflakes millennials! Adding the word 'FREE' also helps.

Remember, we have to rely on these snowflakes millennials to carry on communist agenda..............


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Comrade Stieglitz wrote:Either that or your Communism doesn't fit you, you can't just get your Communism off the rack like you could back in the good old USSR days. You have to make sure that your Communism is you. If you're more of a brash revolutionary, you might want to try on something from the Soviet Union's "Leanin' Lenin" collection. If you're hot-tempered or like the "well-groomed moustache" look, you might wanna try on something from the Soviet Union's "Uncle Joe" collection. If you're more apt to sitting down and writing for the local Party instead of being out in the streets protesting against corporations or republicans, something from the house of Marx & Engels might be for you. There's even a more recent designer called Mao that has that far-eastern exotic flair that would be perfect for the cocktail lounge or sweatshop. If you're more of an "I want it my way" kind of guy, something from the designer Kim Il-sung is definitely you. But, no matter who you wear, I'd definitely recommend buying some accessories from the house of Gorbachev's "Glasnost and Perestroika" collection if you really want to win over your Reagan-worshipping Kapitalist pig-dog friends.

I will sell you the rope that you will hang yourselves with.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:
Comrade Stieglitz wrote:Either that or your Communism doesn't fit you, you can't just get your Communism off the rack like you could back in the good old USSR days. You have to make sure that your Communism is you. If you're more of a brash revolutionary, you might want to try on something from the Soviet Union's "Leanin' Lenin" collection. If you're hot-tempered or like the "well-groomed moustache" look, you might wanna try on something from the Soviet Union's "Uncle Joe" collection. If you're more apt to sitting down and writing for the local Party instead of being out in the streets protesting against corporations or republicans, something from the house of Marx & Engels might be for you. There's even a more recent designer called Mao that has that far-eastern exotic flair that would be perfect for the cocktail lounge or sweatshop. If you're more of an "I want it my way" kind of guy, something from the designer Kim Il-sung is definitely you. But, no matter who you wear, I'd definitely recommend buying some accessories from the house of Gorbachev's "Glasnost and Perestroika" collection if you really want to win over your Reagan-worshipping Kapitalist pig-dog friends.

I will sell you the rope that you will hang yourselves with.

Wait-wait-wait, does that mean you're the kapitalist in this situation?

“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.” - Marx

You're the rope purveyor, so that means you MUST be the Kapitalist! If this is so, then I've got a couple buddies that I'd like you to meet.

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just à propos Sovyetskiy Chelovyek - the red variant of Übermensch. (see end of my post above)

DISCLAIMER : Comrades — I honestly intended, in low prol mode, to simply append an ADD-ON to the said post. But, a pedagogically convincing Lady Comradette popped up, shovel in hand (man, seldom you see such a shovel!) and yelled : The 5-year Plan for pictures here is closed! ¡No Pasarán! ¡No más pinturas aqui! Move to next pyatilyetka, dummkopf!


... and so, here we are, crossrefencing by ukase of a most equal - if unusual, tell ya - shovel.

this one below from KGP, Kube GULAG of Pictures, see recent redux :

TPC.(RS.Why socialists need capitalism - best explanation so far).jpg
left-to-right : a “Pribaltik” (Lithuanian/Estonian/Latvian), a Spaniard, a (generic) Black, an Italian, Soviet New Man, a Frenchman, an (?) Arab, a German, a Kyrgyz.


and :
SU.poster.(peace).(Koretsky).Lasting Peace to the World!.EXCERPT.jpg

SU.poster.(peace).(Koretsky).Lasting Peace to the World!.(600).jpg
(mho : graphically, ugh... Корецкий was a lost case already pre-WW2; a couple exceptions apply)
ЗЕМЛЕ - ПРОЧНЫЙ МИР!
FOR WORLD - LASTING PEACE!

Adapt-2016 ?
easy (right-to-left) : USSA Progressive (of Generation Snowflake) - check!, generic Black - check!, Chevismo/Chavismo - check!, Asian "pivot" - uh, uh, check!, generic EUSSR-Mensch - check!

Update-2016 ?
easy : between USSA Progressive and generic Black - insert generic Musulman, done !

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
$.$. Halliburton wrote:How crass. One [highlight=#ff0000]would think[/highlight] the communist party would be a rock of stability in this crazy mixed up world.
... You're just clinging to that old, tired Communist Party of yesteryear, and not the New, Energetic Communist Party of the Future that will carry us throughout the millennium!
[&]
... your Reagan-worshipping Kapitalist pig-dog friends.
Comrade Potential KKKapitalist PigDog Halliburton, $.$. (with emphasis on Potential), I reckon not all is lost with you. I think, you might regain hope to change your slightly rigid thinking by following the path revealed by Rachel Jeantel and explained by her in less than half a minute.

( NO trampling here on Rachel, may she succeed in doing the best out of her life ; just referring the Old School / New School, uh, thinkin', within the Millenial mindset universe. )

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
$.$. Halliburton wrote:
Comrade Stieglitz wrote:Blah, blah, blah.

I will sell you the rope that you will hang yourselves with.

Wait-wait-wait, does that mean you're the kapitalist in this situation?

“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.” - Marx

You're the rope purveyor, so that means you MUST be the Kapitalist! If this is so, then I've got a couple buddies that I'd like you to meet.

If heaven is where no one knows your name I will have to go back to the hell of everyone knowing who I am. YOU can just call me Trouble. I am the resident troll. This is me:

Tax The Poor

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:... Tax The Poor
whew! that was impressive... what a likable fuzzball of a Bourgeois-Kulak-Enemy-of-The-People!

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
uh, where is that ostentatious Soviet multiculturalism of yore ?

Photo-of-Kayali-with-Che-Guevara-in-the-background.jpg
TSR.jpg

The Collective must adapt to the new reality on the ground and embrace our Mooslic Brothers wishing to play their small part in the Revolution.

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Now the Wall Street Journal is writing about it, too -

Russian Communists Rebrand to Attract Young Supporters
As parliamentary elections loom, party reimagines Lenin, Marx in a modern context


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Sexy Lenin, Sexy Revolution, and (Comrades, attention!) Sexy Budyonovka !
all that ‒ Polish Edition (of A.D. 2010, vocals pa Russki) :


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Now a German contribution (seen here):

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... plus report to Zyentralnyi Komityet:
googling stalin terminator, some familiar pics pop up ;-)

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