Romancing the Suleimani: eulogies for revered terrorists



There must be some bitter rivalry in the prog-media's terrorist eulogy sector. "Austere scholar," "most revered," and now this.
This passionate Soleimani eulogy in the New Yorker reads like a romance novel. I looked it up and indeed, it was authored by someone who seems to be a vulnerable woman with the hots for brutal Islamic strongmen. Robin Wright is the New Yorker's eminent expert on Iran, obviously not without dark, erotic fantasies about sadistic tyrants in their rape rooms and dungeons filled with BDSM paraphernalia, all of which becomes subliminally encoded in her body of work.
The Killing of Qassem Suleimani Is Tantamount to an Act of War
Suleimani, a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, and arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows, gained notice during the eight-year war with Iraq, in the nineteen eighties. He rose through the Revolutionary Guard to become head of the Quds Force—an Iranian unit of commandos comparable to the U.S. seals, Delta Force, and Rangers combined—in 1998. He was the most feared and most admired military leader in the region. He famously rallied followers with flowery jihadi rhetoric about the glories of martyrdom. “The war front is mankind’s lost paradise,” Suleimani was quoted as saying, in 2009. “One type of paradise that is portrayed for mankind is streams, beautiful nymphs and greeneries. But there is another kind of paradise.” The front, he said, was “the lost paradise of the human beings.” Thousands of followers died under his leadership.
If this moving prose doesn't lift you up and drop you in paradise, where you're a virgin in the hands of a romantic Islamic martyr with arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows, you don't deserve to be called a progressive. I will leave the details to Commissarka Pinkie and her golden shovel.
I believe our kollektive has enough creative juices, fermented or otherwise, to write our own bodice ripper eulogies better than the WaPo and The New Yorker.





Quote:
The war front is mankind’s lost paradise,” Suleimani was quoted as saying, in 2009. “One type of paradise that is portrayed for mankind is streams, beautiful nymphs and greeneries. But there is another kind of paradise.” The front, he said, was “the lost paradise of the human beings.” Thousands of followers died under his leadership.The Left are a very primitive warlike people.




Red Square
I don't believe our kollektive doesn't have creative juices, fermented or otherwise, to write our own eulogies better than the WaPo and The New Yorker.Climate change. That's the real threat. A Nation run by whacked out, jacked up murdering terrorists who want a nuke is another Trump distraction. Mr Suleimani, a peaceful beet farmer, (may he rest in pieces) is another misunderstood victim of Trump's tyranny. A simple man of the country who was using his considerable artistic talent to re-decorate the US Embassy in Baghdad when he was so mercilessly cut down in such a disproportionate manner. (cue heavy sobs, wailing and assorted autistic screeching).




She's very alarmed that Trump ended her SM fantareality foreplay by going medieval on 'Mani's butt.
Let's all make her enjoy the pain. It's the only decent thing to do. Right, Most Supreme Red Square?
Jackalopelipsky
Russian Agent and Honor Guard to Ambassador to Texazistan who may or may not have arching salt and pepper eyebrows or know the location of Party Bunker
#BR 549


Let's play The Name Game from Robin Wright sobbin' fo her beloved Suleimani and on down, comrades.
All comrades are encouraged to contribute your own made prog eulogy name game.
Here's how it goes for you TPC™ Young Comrades...Seasoned comrades know the drill.
Prog name game.
Robin! Robin, Robin
O-Man-ni, ‘ho-she-a fanna
Fo-fee-’ho. she NO Yor-ker, Robin!
Talib! Talib, Talib. tal-kin-bint
Not-merica-na fanna, tal-kin-bint
She fi men-men-bint, Talib!
Come on ev'ry comrade, I say now let's play a game
I betcha you can make a rhyme out of any dumb prog's name
The first letter of the name
We'll treat them like they wasn't there
But a "B" or an "F" or an "M" will appear
And then we say "Bo" add a "B" then we say the name
Then "Bomb-Sul ni-fanna" and "co"
And then we say the name again with an ""f" very plain
Then "fee fi" and a "mo?"
And then we say the name again with an "M" this time
And there isn't any name that we can't slime
Stolter! Stolter, Stolter so-bar-nold
Bo-na-na, fanna journ-not-ter
Fee fi m-mar-mold. Stolter!
But if the first two letters are ever the same
Crop them both, then say the name
Like Todd, Todd, drop the "T's", o-odd
Or Schiff, Schiff, drop the "F's", Schee-itt
Or Lisa, Lisa, stop her moan's, can-ary
That's Progs only rule to be contrary
And then we say "Bo" add a "B" then we say the name
Then "Bomb-Man-ni's fanny" and "how"
And then we say his name again with a bomb very plain
Then fee fi and a mo?
And then we say Prog's name again with an "T" this time
And there isn't any name that we can't slime
Say Comey, Comey, co-mit-ney
Trea-son-na jamma, ‘ho-’ho-mey
Fee fi co-co-ming, Comey!
Let's do Pelosi!
Lost it, lost it, she-sil-ly, ba-na-na
Fanna, so-sil-ly,
She fi mo-mil-ly, Pelosi!
Let's do Biden!
Biden, Biden, bu-ris-ma
Joe-child-child feella, Joe-far-den
Fee fi -jail-den, Biden!
Little prick with Coop!
Coop, Coop, co-ock, co-na-na
Jamma Hole wood, fee fi mo-c*ck. Coop!
The name game


jackalopelipsky
Something in Red Square's Eulogy triggered JackalopelipskyRose into thinking about Eulogy Karaoke. What's a eulogy if not remembering the name of the bombed to smithereens loved one. Which reminded 'pelipsky of when just a yout jackalope in the wilds of Texazistan...before...gasp...safety belts and the am radio tuning my world.Let's play The Name Game from Robin Wright sobbin' fo her beloved Suleimani and on down, comrades.
All comrades are encouraged to contribute your own made prog eulogy name game.
Here's how it goes for you TPC™ Young Comrades...Seasoned comrades know the drill.
[OFF]
A couple years ago, I tried for a month or two to People's Karaoke that song, but I couldn't do a quality job of it. I could never get the good zingers out of it that you did, and ultimately scrapped the project. Much applause to you Jackie.
Also, isn't this just one of the funnest songs ever? I love these 60's novelty records.


CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
As news broke that the US struck and killed Qasem Soleimani, President Trump was dining at his Mar-a-Lago club, surrounded by old friends and others like House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy.
As meatloaf and ice cream were served, the Pentagon confirmed that the US was behind the strikes, the only statement from the administration throughout the night.
Putting this airstrike in perspective: The scene Friday was similar to the one after Trump gave the order for American forces to carry out the missile strike on a Syrian airfield in the spring 2017.
After that strike, Trump went into great detail about the chocolate cake he had with Chinese President Xi Jinping, who was there for a summit, when he informed him about the series of tomahawk missiles.




Comrade Stierlitz
jackalopelipsky
Something in Red Square's Eulogy triggered JackalopelipskyRose into thinking about Eulogy Karaoke. What's a eulogy if not remembering the name of the bombed to smithereens loved one. Which reminded 'pelipsky of when just a yout jackalope in the wilds of Texazistan...before...gasp...safety belts and the am radio tuning my world.Let's play The Name Game from Robin Wright sobbin' fo her beloved Suleimani and on down, comrades.
All comrades are encouraged to contribute your own made prog eulogy name game.
Here's how it goes for you TPC™ Young Comrades...Seasoned comrades know the drill.
[OFF]
A couple years ago, I tried for a month or two to People's Karaoke that song, but I couldn't do a quality job of it. I could never get the good zingers out of it that you did, and ultimately scrapped the project. Much applause to you Jackie.
Also, isn't this just one of the funnest songs ever? I love these 60's novelty records.
forelock tug backatcha! Just in it for the fun.'pelipsky - the PREFERRED nomenclature - because without the LIP...just another mythical horned rodent.#BR 549


trashmouth
CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
In his defense, he dined on Iraqi Road.
Ba-dum-tss...


Let's all Dance and Shout for this funeral Karaoke dirge.
We don't care what's gonna happen to you, ‘mani
But we do know dumb chicks love you
You walked around bombed town
With your head all up in the sky
And still we know dumb chicks want you
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
You teased us with your Qud pro die hard to get
Cause you do know dumb chicks want you
You walk around bombed town
With your head all up in the sky
And you do know that we broke you
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimanidown to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Take you all down
You're the spark that lit hot fires inside Iran
And you do know that we hate it
Trump needed to do just something to get opened in your soul
And your pals know that we'll break you
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
You teased us with your hated Qud die hard to get
Cause you did know that we hate you
Trump needed to do just something to get opened in your soul
And your pals know that we'll break you
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Shook Suleimani down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout
Think it over
Down, down, down, down



Red Square
trashmouth
CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
In his defense, he dined on Iraqi Road.
Ba-dum-tss...
That's ironic, First Comrade, because Solaimani probably munched a bit of Iraqi Road himself
You could even go as far as to say that it was his last meal (Allahu Snackbar!)


trashmouth
Once again the Pulitzer Prized strobe lights at CNN created a new space and time paradigm by running this important news item with journalistic ojectivity proving once again that the Orange Man is consumed with evil social-psychological consumptive impulses and his lack of moral guidance, Persian disorder, demon posession, mental paralysis, and chronic halitosis.CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
As news broke that the US struck and killed Qasem Soleimani, President Trump was dining at his Mar-a-Lago club, surrounded by old friends and others like House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy.CNN Breaking News- Senate minority leader Chuck Shumer took to the floor of the senate today to issue a stunning rebuke of President Trump's latest escalation as the walls close in on his presidency. "President Trump, through his reckless and provocative use of ketchup on his meatloaf, shows how dangerously out of touch he is with working families and people of color struggling to make ends meet, and the desperation to which he will go to distract the nation from his impeachment."
As meatloaf and ice cream were served, the Pentagon confirmed that the US was behind the strikes, the only statement from the administration throughout the night.
Putting this airstrike in perspective: The scene Friday was similar to the one after Trump gave the order for American forces to carry out the missile strike on a Syrian airfield in the spring 2017.
After that strike, Trump went into great detail about the chocolate cake he had with Chinese President Xi Jinping, who was there for a summit, when he informed him about the series of tomahawk missiles.


Quote:
The activist actress and author, Rose McGowan, tweeted this yesterday, complaining that Trump is holding her hostage, and begged the Iranian government not to kill her.Hah! Look at how well we have indoctrinated Hollywood. Despite having available money/credit resources, access to a passport, and no travel restrictions whatsoever, Ms McGowan considers herself a hostage! The mind-prison works!


She then posted this on her another FB account:
I promise I wasn’t involved with him, it was Fabio 20 yes ago in this Romance Novel.
And sure enough, there was also a picture of her and Fabio together, made in 2018.


Alas, it broke her heart to learn it was Trump’s weapon, long and hard and sleek, thrusting through the heavens at lightning speed, that brought the mighty, silver-haired Soleimani, with his velvety dark eyes and broad, bronzed chest, to a shattering climax of a thousand fiery stars that tore him to pieces and left him breathless and senseless as he lay smoldering until he was like dust, and the desert he once conquered reclaimed him.
Yet I believe that somewhere, somehow…Soleimani continues to burn and blaze and smolder, hotter than ever.
Forever.




I have to admit, this Robin Wright can only dream she had a shovel as good as yours.


Commissarka Pinkie
She shared with him a passion that was explosive…blazing…as scorching hot as the desert he conquered with the same mastery he conquered her.Alas, it broke her heart to learn it was Trump’s weapon, long and hard and sleek, thrusting through the heavens at lightning speed, that brought the mighty, silver-haired Suleimani, with his velvety dark eyes and broad, bronzed chest, to a shattering climax of a thousand fiery stars that tore him to pieces and left him breathless and senseless as he lay smoldering until he was like dust, and the desert he once conquered reclaimed him.
Yet I believe that somewhere, somehow…Suleimani continues to burn and blaze and smolder, hotter than ever.
And what stone-hearted, Fabio-looking warrior pulled the trigger that ended this story of passion? Indeed, we all know...


Red Square
trashmouth
CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
In his defense, he dined on Iraqi Road.
Ba-dum-tss...
Hahaha!! Sooo bad!





Callmelennie
Red Square
trashmouth
CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
In his defense, he dined on Iraqi Road.
Ba-dum-tss...
That's ironic, First Comrade, because Solaimani probably munched a bit of Iraqi Road himself
You could even go as far as to say that it was his last meal (Allahu Snackbar!)
Thank you ladies and germs. Let's give him a big (severed) hand!
Don't forget to tip your servers.




Liberal media finds its new Che Guevara in dead Iranian terror chief Qassem Soleimani
NY Times reporter posts video of Soleimani reciting poetry, while The New Yorker descibes him as “a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, and arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows…”




I don't care about his politics or how many people he's killed. I just think it's kind of cool the way so many people talk about how he was a poet and had flowing snowy hair and salt-and-pepper brows and eyes of puppy dog brown and bronzed pecs.
Did you know he was on his way to the orphanage to hand out toys to all the little children whose parents were killed by
Soleimani was, like, so sweet and sensitive, and I just know he totally understood me!
I wanna wear his ring--the one with the big red oval stone. I hope the Franklin Mint or Bradford Exchange or one of those other outfits makes an imitation ring just like his--you know, like they did with Princess Diana's sapphire-and-diamond engagement ring.
I'll bet they'd sell millions and make up for the loss they suffered on all those Hillary First! Woman! President! Commemorative Victory Plates that were already cast and ready to ship on 11/09/16, and that you just know are still packed up and taking up valuable real estate in the back of their warehouse.


Commissarka Pinkie
Soleimani was, like, so sweet and sensitive, and I just know he totally understood me!Indeed.
Because what is happiness? It's when he understands you.
And what is the opposite of happiness? It's when he figures you out.
But I'm sure you knew that.


Red Square
Commissarka Pinkie
Soleimani was, like, so sweet and sensitive, and I just know he totally understood me!Indeed.
Because what is happiness? It's when he understands you.
And what is the opposite of happiness? It's when he figures you out.
But I'm sure you knew that.
Oh, c'mon Komrade Premier! You're just jealous that you, who looks like Mr. Clean, can't compete with this hunk:
He should be People magazine's Sexiest Man









And my panties! What has happened to my panties?


Minitrue
The real question is: why aren't we making Suleimani T-shirts like the Che-merchandising yet? Time to provide the masses with some brainless virtue clothing!Will this work maybe?

The last time we tried it didn't catch on...







CONSENSUS OF HOURI: HOTTEST JIHADI SINCE TARIQ IBN ZIAD
With his smoldering good looks and his fiery commitment to advancing Islam thru all means necessary, Qasim Soleimani has emerged as the surprise hot property of the young jihadi season
Hassa al Houri, a typical celestial virgin, expressed admiration for the ingenuity of his hard hitting tactics coupled with the Solomonic wisdom, apropos of his namesake (The Prophet Suleiman) in the timing and choice of his targets. She was also highly stimulated by Soleimani's devotion to the the hadith -- "Ya Muslim, hunak Islamufabiyun Amrikiyun wara'i; ta'al wa qutiluhu" .. Oh Muslim, there is an American Islamophobe behind me, Come and kill him."
She also was highly appreciative of Qasem's guiding philosoophy, "Min qatala Amrikiyun, ka'inima qatala al kufir jami'an" ... Whoever kills an American, it is as if they had killed unbelief entirely" Truly I have been waiting a thousand years to pleasure a man such as this.


Callmelennie
THOUSANDS OF CELESTIAL VIRGINS WAITING TO SERVICE SOLEIMANICONSENSUS OF HOURI: HOTTEST JIHADI SINCE TARIQ IBN ZIAD
With his smoldering good looks and his fiery commitment to advancing Islam thru all means necessary, Qasim Soleimani has emerged as the surprise hot property of the young jihadi season
How about this eulogy, New Yorker?

Comrade Jenkem
trashmouth
Once again the Pulitzer Prized strobe lights at CNN created a new space and time paradigm by running this important news item with journalistic ojectivity proving once again that the Orange Man is consumed with evil social-psychological consumptive impulses and his lack of moral guidance, Persian disorder, demon posession, mental paralysis, and chronic halitosis.CNN POLITICS:
President Trump dined on ice cream as news of the airstrike broke
As news broke that the US struck and killed Qasem Soleimani, President Trump was dining at his Mar-a-Lago club, surrounded by old friends and others like House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy.CNN Breaking News- Senate minority leader Chuck Shumer took to the floor of the senate today to issue a stunning rebuke of President Trump's latest escalation as the walls close in on his presidency. "President Trump, through his reckless and provocative use of ketchup on his meatloaf, shows how dangerously out of touch he is with working families and people of color struggling to make ends meet, and the desperation to which he will go to distract the nation from his impeachment."
As meatloaf and ice cream were served, the Pentagon confirmed that the US was behind the strikes, the only statement from the administration throughout the night.
Putting this airstrike in perspective: The scene Friday was similar to the one after Trump gave the order for American forces to carry out the missile strike on a Syrian airfield in the spring 2017.
After that strike, Trump went into great detail about the chocolate cake he had with Chinese President Xi Jinping, who was there for a summit, when he informed him about the series of tomahawk missiles.
But was it two scoops?




Commissarka Pinkie
She shared with him a passion that was explosive…blazing…as scorching hot as the desert he conquered with the same mastery he conquered her.Alas, it broke her heart to learn it was Trump’s weapon, long and hard and sleek, thrusting through the heavens at lightning speed, that brought the mighty, silver-haired Soleimani, with his velvety dark eyes and broad, bronzed chest, to a shattering climax of a thousand fiery stars that tore him to pieces and left him breathless and senseless as he lay smoldering until he was like dust, and the desert he once conquered reclaimed him.
Yet I believe that somewhere, somehow…Soleimani continues to burn and blaze and smolder, hotter than ever.
Forever.
Pinkie,
the mythical horned rodent had to use daily ration of water to shower off after reading your smokin' prose. Now, 'pelipsky will have to wear soiled uniform to beet fields today and do laundry another day.
forelock tug,
'pelipsky


Ivan the Stakhanovets
Commissarka Pinkie
She shared with him a passion that was explosive…blazing…as scorching hot as the desert he conquered with the same mastery he conquered her.Alas, it broke her heart to learn it was Trump’s weapon, long and hard and sleek, thrusting through the heavens at lightning speed, that brought the mighty, silver-haired Suleimani, with his velvety dark eyes and broad, bronzed chest, to a shattering climax of a thousand fiery stars that tore him to pieces and left him breathless and senseless as he lay smoldering until he was like dust, and the desert he once conquered reclaimed him.
Yet I believe that somewhere, somehow…Suleimani continues to burn and blaze and smolder, hotter than ever.
And what stone-hearted, Fabio-looking warrior pulled the trigger that ended this story of passion? Indeed, we all know...
tovaricho.jpg
Just hot damnation, Ivan The Stakhonovets.
That's why 'pelipsky serves as Honor Guard to your Ambassadorship to Texazistan.


Iranians chant "Death to America!" during the Obama Administration: "Oh, that's just something they always say when they get upset; it doesn't mean anything."
Iranians chant "Death to America!" during the Trump Administration: "OH MY GOD!!! THEY'RE COMING TO KILL US! TRUMP'S RECKLESS ACTIONS ARE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! PLEASE, IRAN, PLEASE PLEASE DON'T KILL US!"


jackalopelipsky
...had to use daily ration of water to shower off after reading your smokin' prose. Now, 'pelipsky will have to wear soiled uniform to beet fields today and do laundry another day.forelock tug,
'pelipsky
Showers on Monday? Absurd. This is crazy talk.


Commissarka Pinkie
Who remembers?Iranians chant "Death to America!" during the Obama Administration: "Oh, that's just something they always say when they get upset; it doesn't mean anything."
Iranians chant "Death to America!" during the Trump Administration: "OH MY GOD!!! THEY'RE COMING TO KILL US! TRUMP'S RECKLESS ACTIONS ARE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! PLEASE, IRAN, PLEASE PLEASE DON'T KILL US!"
So...what you're sayin', Pinkie, is that the Iranian State Provided Slogan never changes. The only hope for change has to come from US giving Iran a reason for that Iranian Never Ending State's Tune.
One thing, 'pelipsky knows...is that your shovel is capable of changing ANY Comrade's tune. Just like Trump's thrustin' bunker bustin' projectile.
...or has 'pelipsky gone too far over the horizon of the back 40 beet field?


Commissarka Pinkie
She shared with him a passion that was explosive…blazing…as scorching hot as the desert he conquered with the same mastery he conquered her.Alas, it broke her heart to learn it was Trump’s weapon, long and hard and sleek, thrusting through the heavens at lightning speed, that brought the mighty, silver-haired Soleimani, with his velvety dark eyes and broad, bronzed chest, to a shattering climax of a thousand fiery stars that tore him to pieces and left him breathless and senseless as he lay smoldering until he was like dust, and the desert he once conquered reclaimed him.
Yet I believe that somewhere, somehow…Soleimani continues to burn and blaze and smolder, hotter than ever.
Forever.
My goodness, I hope the ladies at Pornsec are already gearing up for the movie!
Where and when can we buy the full novel Pinkie?


Well done: “Romancing the Suleimani: eulogies for revered terrorists”.


"Rouhani is now in second place in multiple polls and has qualified for the next DNC debate."
In fact, I think he's a very dynamic candidate. He's sure to liven up the debates! And he has experience managing hell-holes, so he'll be of good assistance to Democrat mayors.
Suleimani 2020!


Raddatz said she was "Moved by 'Powerful’ ‘Profound’ Soleimani ‘Mourners’ Chanting ‘Death to America’"
This is a video of Martha Raddatz showing her lack of bias by crying on election night, November 2016 after Hillary lost.
Note: Martha Raddatz was a presidential debate moderator for the 2016 election.


Ignored by Liberal Mainstream Media: Iranian Regime Bribed Funeral Attendees with Free Meals








Salami, the Dead Terrorist says: "I keeeeel you!"


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qasem_Soleimani
I don't know where to begin unpacking it. I'd really need a bigger shovel and heavier boots.






