Image

RNC, DNC tell voters they're important, special

User avatar
[img]/images/Establishment_Vote.jpg[/img]

The Republican and Democratic National Committees both issued statements today to reassure primary voters and caucusgoers that their votes, donations, and efforts are just super.

While the RNC release focused on rumors of a brokered convention, and the DNC addressed the influence of superdelegates, both committees expressed that rank-and-file voters are really, really terrific.

For the DNC, superdelegate and former President Bill Clinton wrote, “I know, all too well, that most of the buxom young squirrels in our party have been supporting [Senator] Bernie [Sanders]. Just because party officials like myself are unanimously backing Hillary, and our votes are worth about ten states of your votes, that doesn't mean that we don't appreciate Bernie's young supporters. Our party really needs those comely millennial lasses, 175 to 225 pounds, rallying and jumping up and down for the first woman president.”

Writing for the RNC, chairman Reince Priebus stated, “our rules provide that a nominee needs to get a majority of support in the primaries and caucuses. With 17 candidates this year, that probably won't happen, but we're confident that our wonderful supporters will be pleased with the non-Trump, non-Cruz nominee that the party selects for them. Our guy is really going to need all of the enthusiasm that has been on display throughout the nominating process, so please, keep it up. You all are just fantastic in my book, and you're the reason that we'll take back the White House.”

For unknown reasons, candidates Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders have achieved unusual success by criticizing the major parties this election cycle.

User avatar
Brought to you RNC & DNC - because democracy is too important to leave to chance.

[img]/images/Vote_Establishment_2016_Banner.jpg[/img]


"It's not who votes that counts. It's who counts the votes."
- Attributed to Stalin, but who knows? Everyone who knew anything for sure was sent to Gulag.


[img]/images/banner_votes_count_establishment.jpg[/img]

User avatar
It is very important to seem like you are voting or else you lose your extra ration cards.


User avatar
Glorious comrades,

I do not understand you americans... al this voting and so... this only reduces the time you have for useful business like beet shoveling!
In Europe we just let the Germans decide... far easier! That way they don't start a war again...

merkel.jpg


User avatar
There's such a most equal distribution of Photoshop skills on this site. It took me hours just to do my avatar, and Red Square even had to fix that.

User avatar
Kilroy wrote:There's such a most equal distribution of Photoshop skills on this site. It took me hours just to do my avatar, and Red Square even had to fix that.

I personally prefer the extended version of the avatar, which shows a much more tolerant side of you.

Image

User avatar
Comrade Sovremennyy wrote:
Kilroy wrote:There's such a most equal distribution of Photoshop skills on this site. It took me hours just to do my avatar, and Red Square even had to fix that.

I personally prefer the extended version of the avatar, which shows a much more tolerant side of you.

Image
That takes me back, when quick death was all the rage. You get so many more denouncings with nerve agents though.

User avatar
My Our Entire Beet-Kollecktiv will unanimously vote for any candidate that is Approved By Our Central Committee Superiors Leaders! (And, of course, All Votes Will Be Examined by Me Our Central Committee; Any kamerad who fails to vote properly will might find himself on Septic-Tank Recovery Duty, but only if our Peoples' Court is feeling especially Generous. If not, well, you can imagine the consequences for "The Miscreant OUTLAW" - and his/her family...)



 
POST REPLY