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Promotions for the Progressive that Pops

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Last night at the Rancho de Rio Grande I threw a small wine-and-cheese party. Attending it were some of the upper party members, including Nansky Peloski, Harry Reid, and from time to time Meow came to and then passed out again. Which was fine for me because the snoring isn't as loud as the caterwauling. And you know, sometimes, when it's very quiet, you can hear the gears in his head ticking, and that's never a pretty sound.

This party was for nominations for promotion within the party structure. Who was the most useful to the party? Who showed the most promise of being an up-and-coming socialist?

Who would be the next Progressive that Popped?

These are deep waters, comrades, requiring a good deal of thought.
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Ché Gourmet has been nominated for his dedication to food. The cooking is good, of course, but I think that Ché has the ability to follow in the footsteps of that other great Progressive, Lucrezia Borgia. I proposed that Ché Gourmet be promoted to head the Lucrezia Borgia People's Restaurant and asked Nansky for a second. She continued to stare at me. I asked her again for a second, and nothing. Then I heard her snore. She's had so many face lifts that she cannot close her eyes. I promoted Ché Gourmet myself to Executive Chef of the Lucrezia Borgia People's Restaurant.

With the proviso that Bruno never be allowed to serve meals where he might get confused as to which plate had the poison in it. For he would be distracted by something as simple as a dust mite in the air.

Next on the agenda was Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich. He has shown a great ability to find power, that is, little old me, and to be obsequious. I like that in a comrade. I like it a lot, until that is the comrade starts feeling his oats. At nights I sit up worrying about all the party members beneath me on the ladder toward the pinnacle of perfect progressivism, where no thought is original, no dollar untaken, and no behavior uncontrolled. And no grievance unuttered.

I feel that Radnoskovich's particular oleaginous sucking up is exemplary. I proposed that he be promoted to Headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating. I asked Harry Reid for a second but he fell off his chair, which woke him up. I unilaterally promoted Radnoskovich to Headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating.

I congratulate our newly promoted comrades on their new positions. And Ché, I eagerly await your next meal. But I think that I'll have Bruno taste it first.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Last night at the Rancho de Rio Grande I threw a small wine-and-cheese party. Attending it were some of the upper party members, including Nansky Peloski, Harry Reid, and from time to time Meow came to and then passed out again. Which was fine for me because the snoring isn't as loud as the caterwauling. And you know, sometimes, when it's very quiet, you can hear the gears in his head ticking, and that's never a pretty sound.

This party was for nominations for promotion within the party structure. Who was the most useful to the party? Who showed the most promise of being an up-and-coming socialist?

Who would be the next Progressive that Popped?

These are deep waters, comrades, requiring a good deal of thought.
~
Ché Gourmet has been nominated for his dedication to food. The cooking is good, of course, but I think that Ché has the ability to follow in the footsteps of that other great Progressive, Lucrezia Borgia. I proposed that Ché Gourmet be promoted to head the Lucrezia Borgia People's Restaurant and asked Nansky for a second. She continued to stare at me. I asked her again for a second, and nothing. Then I heard her snore. She's had so many face lifts that she cannot close her eyes. I promoted Ché Gourmet myself to Executive Chef of the Lucrezia Borgia People's Restaurant.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]With the proviso that Bruno never be allowed to serve meals [/HIGHLIGHT]where he might get confused as to which plate had the poison in it. For he would be distracted by something as simple as a dust mite in the air.

Next on the agenda was Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich. He has shown a great ability to find power, that is, little old me, and to be obsequious. I like that in a comrade. I like it a lot, until that is the comrade starts feeling his oats. At nights I sit up worrying about all the party members beneath me on the ladder toward the pinnacle of perfect progressivism, where no thought is original, no dollar untaken, and no behavior uncontrolled. And no grievance unuttered.

I feel that Radnoskovich's particular oleaginous sucking up is exemplary. I proposed that he be promoted to Headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating. I asked Harry Reid for a second but he fell off his chair, which woke him up. I unilaterally promoted Radnoskovich to Headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating.

I congratulate our newly promoted comrades on their new positions. And Ché, I eagerly await your next meal. But I think that I'll have Bruno taste it first.

Well, by Lenin, Commissar,

I am blushing profusely with your kind praises, and I am most delirious with the prospect of a new Restaurant, (we were sorely lacking in that area, nyet?). Where is it to be located? Somewhere warm, and with a very hip culture, yes? I shall look forward to creating gastronomic delights for your dignitaries, Party Elite and such. I do work so hard for the Party and know that the Lucrezia Borgia People's Restaurant will be on the Michelin Five Star List almost instantly. Gracias for your unwavering confidence in my cooking skills. And don't worry about Bruno serving anything. His devotion should be reserved for you, only.

I must tell Wolfgang immediately (the kitchen proles will be so happy....to see me leave) LOL

your Chef to the Stars of the Inner Circle,

Che' GourmetImage
PS - Sir, about Radnoskovich....is he being transferred as well? Where will The School of Treacherous Toadeating be located? May I suggest the Okeechobee Swamps of Florida? I hear that there are a lot of toads for licking there, and a plus would be that he wouldn't be too far away from Commisarka Pinkie's dacha, so she can keep a shiny shovel on his shadow?....little toad......mutters expletive under his breath. Why didn't he call me to fix his stupid cheese & wine soiree?

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Fearless, King and Generous Leader, I did as you requested as Coat check boy. (Wink Wink), I hope you found the package I gave to Bruno to deliver to you. He started going through the box I told him to stop, he made grumbling sounds and skulked off. I also went out and rummaged, Checked on their vehicles to make sure there was no unauthorized weapons or contraband on the property. Bruno was using Meows automobile as a toilet. It is my duty to report that all valuables and some of the auto parts were stolen from the vehicles.

But I suspect all this happened before they came to Rancho de Rio Grande. (My story and I am sticking to it) including the Tires and Wheels from Nansky Peloski Car. I scrounged up 4 bald tires, and some wheels. So she could get to a gas station. Could not help her with the missing air bags, seats headlights, but luckily she and all the others had just enough gas in there tanks to make it to “Theocritus Sunoco” where gas is reasonably priced at 5.99 9/10

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Ah, Red Star. Excellent service as always. Your name was next on the brevet list for promotion but unfortunately at that time Meow woke up and, closing one eye to see straight, or straighter, looked at Nansky and shrieked, "Jesus H. Christ! Theocritus, why did you let Bruno put a fright wig on an owl?!"

Bruno, hearing that, immediately shrieked, "Theocritus! You gave away one my <i>wigs</i>?!" And collapsed, beating his head on the floor. Which was harder on the flagstone than on his head by the way.

By that time Nansky had turned her head like Reagan in <i>The Exorcist</i> and projectile vomited, again, like Reagan. That caused Meow to scream and run out of the room, only detouring to pick the pocket of Harry Reid.

So the list was unfinished. But we have another party scheduled soon. As soon as I can steal buy some more Cristal Brut.

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Ahhhh that explains much, I thought you had invited Don King to your revelry. The Owl did bear a striking resemblance to him. Further the shattered floor tiles were some what of a mystery.

I had to make a trip to the local Wendy's to pry some replacements off there floor. They were a little angry when I hauled them out, but I gave them a credit card I swiped from Meow, (that he swiped from Harry Reid)( that Reid swiped from Teddy Kennedy) but I am glad to report the floor is repaired.

Great and Powerful leader may I make a suggestion? You should enjoy Louis Roederer Brut Cristal yourself . Why waste it on the likes of Nansky Peloski, Harry Reid, and Meow? I will fill the empty Cristal bottles with J. Roget Brut 4.49 a bottle you serve that to them and you drink the real stuff. They will never know the difference.

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Excellent, Red Star, excellent. And to be frank I think that la Peloski's tongue has been, through the face lifts, pulled entirely out of her head making her screeching a mystery. And as for Harry Reid, some days he puts his underwear on his head.

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My dear Commissar Theocritus, I am speechless Commissar. Commissar, I have no appetite for power, the kind of power you wield. I am content to serve you and bask in your light. I have found my place and am content. I seek only the occasional kind word and the odd table scrap. And those that would sharpen their swords for you, will have to deal with me. For your enemies are now mine.

Your loyal servant,
Radnoskovich

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Damn you're good. You'll be a great headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating.

Be working on your syllabus, if you don't mind. Flattery is, as you know, numbers one through ten. After all, look what it's done. The Progressives have flattered the American public until they think that they are <i>entitled</i> just by being, instead of by earning, and that has allowed us to manipulate them shamelessly. Flattery is first and last.

Then perhaps undercutting. As a favor doing something for a friend, and doing it often enough so that the friend's superiors notice that <i>you're</i> doing it. Then the friend gets the axe.

And backstabbing. That's a difficult one. You have to be subtle there. A claymore attack doesn't work. But a stiletto with a smile just does.

You might consider work experience in Treacherous Toadeating. I'd say work first for CNN. If ever there was a very rich very crazy moonbat, nearly as good as Howard Hughes, it's Ted Turner. The Oscar of Treacherous Toadeating would be to be Ted Turner's personal assistant.

With access to the safe.

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Commissar Theocritus; Last night,I could not help but notice while I was Stealing Nansky Peloski wheels and tires, Guarding the area from thieves, that it appear that Bruno and Jack Murtha were having a "fart lighting" contest. It appeared Bruno won because Murtha set himself on fire and was rolling on the ground. Bruno was pouring gasoline on him, (Wasting what I had siphoned out of Reid's car). I picked up a shovel and beat the flames out on Murtha. Bruno wandered away.

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[character off] I'm helpless with laughter here. [on]

Red Star, do you realize just how much work went into Jack Murtha? It took me <i>years</i> to make fashion a man of utterly no ethics or morality, whose idea of what's right was what's possible.

In other words, a Bruno.

[off]That fart-lighting was really inspired. Must do something on that.

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Excellent, Red Star, excellent. And to be frank I think that la Peloski's tongue has been, through the face lifts, pulled entirely out of her head making her screeching a mystery.

One more facelift and she has a goatee....

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When her goatee, which is naturally grown, matches her hair, which is Bruno's wig, we shall have the perfect paradigm of the modern progressive.

Comrades with more knowledge of lyrics are hereby invited to do a riff on G&S's "I Am the Model of a Modern Major-General" from <i>The Pirates of Penzance</i>.

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.


We all know that Pinkie has a wonderful voice.....


but I understand that Che Gourmet
other than cooking is world renowned...

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Red Star wrote:I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.


We all know that Pinkie has a wonderful voice.....


[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]but I understand that Che Gourmet
other than cooking is world renowned[/HIGHLIGHT]...

Comrade Red Star-

Ahh..yes! The Pirates of Penzance....I am the very model of..la la la.....

But that was in another time, my good comrade, and I do thank you for the praise. I sing in the kitchen, sometimes, but it comes out as screeching (or so the proles mutter under their breath, of course)
Must have something to do with that blasted sex-change operation I had to endure before I found the safety (LOL) of the Cube. Perhaps I should change back??......I 'm really not comfortable with these stupid hot flashes...(runs to walk-in, to cool off).

Ahhh.......much better....Where was I?.....Oh, yes, now I remember...

I have been following your various adventures in larceny procurement, and applaud your ingenuity, as well as the colorful descriptions of your escapades. Keep 'em coming, Comrade! I'm LMAO, along with the rest of the Cubists. Surely, you will soon be promoted.

GIVE ALL FOR THE CAUSE, COMRADE!
'CUS THE CAUSE IS US!

Che' GourmetImage
PS - Fart-lighting...LOL..(chokes on cigar smoke)....Comrade Red Star...you're bringing tears of laughter to my eyes!

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A British tar is a soaring soul
As free as a mountain bird
His energetic fist should be ready to resist
A dictatorial word
His nose should pant and his lip should curl
His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl
His bosom should heave and his heart should glow
And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow

Come on everybody Sing along. His eyes should flash with an inborn fire

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Commissar Theorcritus, I salute you for your timely and well suited promotions for these new comrades, both outstanding in their own way. I must say, this Radnoskovich's grovelling skills may have even surpassed mine, though of course I had the good fortune of choosing the Chairman for my best groveling. Speaking of the Chairman, where exactly has that worthless, treacherous, greedy lecher been? After all, just because the World of Next Tuesday has arrived, there is no reason to ease off on the fund raising is there? I had heard rumors that he was busy easing the tensions of the MTE in ways I would just as soon not relate here.

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Pupovich wrote:I had heard rumors that he was busy easing the tensions of the MTE in ways I would just as soon not relate here.

Ah, yes, Marshal, he is. When Meow was last at the Rancho he slipped some drugs into my Mumbai Non-conflict Sapphire Gin and Tonic, which I pretended to drink. And I pretended to become very suggestible. And when he plied me, not with anything of a fleshly nature, but of a grossly indecent nature, that is, where I kept my valuables, I let out that I had just managed to get hold of the better half of Forbes' Fabergé Eggs, and had given them to our MTE as a downpayment on a really cushy job when she eventually assumes power once the Sonorous Unctuous Vacuity is exposed for being a schlemiel.

So Meow left as soon as I pretended to pass out, not even bothering, as usual, to take the towels. And now he's being <i>very</i> agreeable to our MTE.

And this reminds me, perhaps Meow is such a susceptible commissar. Last I heard he was singing Gilbert and Sullivan to our MTE

My law is the true embodiment
Of everything that's excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my lords, embody the Law.
The constitutional guardian I
Of pretty young Wards in Chancery,
All very agreeable girls - and none
Is over the age of twenty-one.
A pleasant occupation for
A rather susceptible Commissar!

But though the compliment implied
Inflates me with legitimate pride,
It nevertheless can't be denied
That it has its inconvenient side.
For I'm not so old, and not so plain,
And I'm quite prepared to marry again,
But there'd be the deuce to pay in the Lords
If I fell in love with one of my Wards:
Which rather tries my temper, for
I'm SUCH a susceptible Commissar!

And every one who'd marry a Ward
Must come to me for my accord:
So in my court I sit all day,
Giving agreeable girls away,
With one for him - and one for he -
And one for you - and one for ye -
And one for thou - and one for thee -
But never, oh never a one for me!
Which is exasperating, for
A highly susceptible Commissar!

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And, Pupovich, keep your sticky paws off my newly minted uber-Commissars. I'm training them in the ways of duplicity and sheer shittiness. And I know that you had a good teacher, Meow, but Meow's style is not my style. Meow is, how do I say it? Louche. Now there's nothing wrong with being louche, but every time he comes over to the Rancho he behaves in such a way that I can only describe him as a louche douche.

Whereas I run a really classy household and I'm glad to have the Treacherous Toadeater and Lucrezia Ché to help me with it.

...Bruno! BRUNO! <i>Stop writing on the walls with that lipstick!</i> Do you think that Maybelline grows on trees? You're not getting another single mango for your head if you </i>don't stop writing on the walls with that lipstick</i>!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote: keep your sticky paws off my newly minted uber-Commissars

I don't think you have to worry about anyone touching your uber-commissars.

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...Or were you talking about a different kind of uber-commissars?

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Fearless and Kind Leader; I felt it was my duty to report that not all the guest from your party appear to have gone home. The Rancho de Rio Grande, live stock seemed unusually nervous, I at first attributed this to Bruno, doing his predatory animal sounds, but I saw Henry Waxman, lurking in the hedgerows. The sheep were running away. I did not realize you had even invited this loser. I pulled the guest list from the other night and did not see his name. Bruno also saw him and started " throaty growling".

On to other Matters, I took the liberty of re-stocking the Rancho de Rio Grande, you will be happy to know, I stole procured several cases of Louis Roederer Brut Cristal,also several cases of Thunderbird, Mad dog 20/20 and Boones Farm. ( Understand that Reid is fond of MD20/20)
Lastly a Happy Meal for Bruno.

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Thank you, Red Star, thank you. You have solved that problem that I've had. I kept on seeing a cantaloupe with a mustache bobbing about and it was a really evil looking cantaloupe. It had to be Waxman, of course. No, I never would invite him because he's just too ugly to bear looking at. And this from a Commissar who doesn't mind our MTE's stippled ass. Waxman's only use is to make Senator Leaky Leahy look good.

Yes, a Happy Meal is just the ticket for Bruno. Normally I throw in a Crackerjack prize, which makes him clap his hands with glee. One time though I put in one of those Chinese finger-torture devices, where you put your index fingers in it and then pull. The harder you pull, the tighter it gets.

You can't believe where he put that and the screaming that ensured.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Thank you, Red Star, thank you. You have solved that problem that I've had. I kept on seeing a cantaloupe with a mustache bobbing about and it was a really evil looking cantaloupe. It had to be [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Waxman[/HIGHLIGHT], of course. No, I never would invite him because [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]he's just too ugly to bear looking at[/HIGHLIGHT]. And this from a Commissar who doesn't mind our MTE's stippled ass. Waxman's only use is to make Senator Leaky Leahy look good.

Yes, a Happy Meal is just the ticket for Bruno. Normally I throw in a Crackerjack prize, which makes him clap his hands with glee. One time though I put in one of those Chinese finger-torture devices, where you put your index fingers in it and then pull. The harder you pull, the tighter it gets.

You can't believe where he put that and the screaming that ensured.

Commissar Theocritis,

Image You're not kidding about the ugliness of Waxman (put some lipstick on that pig) And now that he's been nominated for Energy and Commerce Chairman, Al Gore will be kissing his f**king ass. He's the worst of Climatechangers for Gaia!

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[off] I admire your digestion, Che, to be able to follow this. I'm taking a fin de siecle attitude toward this; it's just too depressing. And I'm having a hard time talking to my 82-year-old father who goes on and on about it.

But there are compensations. Such as getting out of town to fine old places and fine new restaurants.

And fuquez-vous to Waxman et al.


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Are those microphones or whip handles?

Question. Why does Henry Waxman wear a necktie?

To keep his foreskin from covering his eyes.

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Premier Betty wrote:
Commissar Theocritus wrote: keep your sticky paws off my newly minted uber-Commissars

I don't think you have to worry about anyone touching your uber-commissars.

Image
...[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Or were you talking about a different kind of uber-commissars?[/HIGHLIGHT]



My Glorious Premier,



I had no idea that my promotion to Executive Chef of Lucretia Borgia Peoples Restaurant was also a promotion to Uber-Commissar? I am dumb-founded for the words to explain my exulted status. I have worked very hard for the World of This Tuesday, and am joyous that I have been elevated, so quickly in the Party's ranks. (it doesn't have any correlation to the mind control hallucinagens that are added to the food, on the direct orders from the Obamessiah)



I merely want to serve in any way that the Party deems fit. It all works out, as long as one has hope and desires change. Praise be to the Obamessiah and the Inner Circle.



your newly minted uber-Commissar,



Che' GourmetImage

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Red Star wrote:Look what I found

Image
Image
The resemblance is uncanny

Ouch..... there goes breakfast....better order another one....please, omnipresent Commissar Theocritis, must he be at the InAugural Purge festivities? No one will want to eat my splendiferous food if they get him in their line of sight. Can we put a bag over his head or something?

hating ugly party pooping kulaks,

Che' Gourmet

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Che, Uber Commissar, do not be afraid. Lest he disturb the appetites of others for Pupovich's Fried Rat on a Stick with Sauce Choron, he will be served in a large, walk-in closet which is quite empty at the Rancho. We shall fill it with the vampire bat.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Che, Uber Commissar[/HIGHLIGHT], do not be afraid. Lest he disturb the appetites of others for Pupovich's Fried Rat on a Stick with Sauce Choron, he will be served in a large, walk-in closet which is quite empty at the Rancho. We shall fill it with the vampire bat.

Commissar Theocritis,

So it is confirmed then? I am a Uber-Commissar? I am truly grateful for the aclaim, my revered Commissar.

As for this sauce Choron. Is this a favorite of Pupovitch's? I have never had the dubioushonor of tasting his rat- on- a -stick recipe, but would a Choron sauce be strong enough to maskcomplement the rat? I would be most agreeable to changing the sauce to perhaps a nice Thai Peanut Sauce. Then we could use his recipe as an hor d' ouevre, since it is finger food, technically.

Waxman should be very happy in your closet with the vampire bat, Sir. I just wanted to be sure that he won't be sash-shaying around your party, talking up his plans to stop the Capitalist Pigs' from obtaining and using the Partys' Oil Leases. He does seem somewhat the fanatic when it comes to Global Warming (like his non-person buddy, AlGore)

Got to go and throw the Tofurkeys in the ovens now.

your most loyal Chef,

Che' Gourmet

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Che, when you do your cooking be sure to be just like our esteemed colleague Algore. Use lots and lots of corn oil, and as much bio-diesel as possible.

After all, if we are to believe the Goracle, a day without a food riot in Mexico because Al Gore is starving people is like a day without sunshine.


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Che Gourmet wrote:[So it is confirmed then? I am a Uber-Commissar? I am truly grateful for the aclaim, my revered Commissar.

It is well you questioned this. after all, can a Commissar promote another to an UBER Commissar?

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Pupovich, like the Prince of Wales I use only a few of my titles. It would be boasting to display them all. But I would think that the impaling bit would give you a clue.

I see we got up on the right side of the bed today.

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Just trying to keep things in perspective Commissar, after all, I having been promoted to Marshal have the responsibility.... well, actually, since I have never really been assigned a particular front, I have pretty much taken it on myself to pick and choose what and whom I must crack down on or build up. Of course, I really have no problem with you making him an uber Commissar provided you have the necessary papers granting you this. No doubt you have such clearance as I am sure you would not risk Party discipline should you not, da? Unless of course, you have compromising pictures or recordings, which come to think of it, you have my blessings! Carry on Dear Commissar.

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Ah, Pupovich, I always have pictures and recordings. And fingerprints, too. Never forget fingerprints. Hotel bills, phone records--you get the picture. Why, I have a receipt from Tiffany's for one solid-gold shovel made out to C. Pinkie. And you can't believe how that has stood me in good stead. All I have to do is look at her and her Putinka-reddened eyes fall and she says, "Oh, all right, Theocritus. All right. Just this once"

But does any of it really matter, when you get down of it? Since we make the rules quite ad hoc, then nothing really matters. And that's the point of it. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters. Any more.

If you're a comrade.

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I don't suppose you would be willing to share some of this information, with a comrade.

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Quid pro quo, Pupovich, quid pro quo. I'm still after the Chairman. What do you have?

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah, Pupovich, I always have pictures and recordings. And fingerprints, too. Never forget fingerprints. Hotel bills, phone records--you get the picture. Why, I have a receipt from Tiffany's for one solid-gold shovel made out to C. Pinkie. And you can't believe how that has stood me in good stead. All I have to do is look at her and her Putinka-reddened eyes fall and she says, "Oh, all right, Theocritus. All right. Just this once"

But does any of it really matter, when you get down of it? Since we make the rules quite ad hoc, then nothing really matters. And that's the point of it. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters. Any more.

If you're a comrade.


My Dear Comrade Commissar Theocritis,

Gracias for straightening out the Marshall about my promotion. It is settled to everyone's satisfaction now, I hope? Booyeh! While waiting for my party approved computing machine to be fixed, I came across some important information that I must pass on to you:

TIJUANA, Mexico — The bodies of nine decapitated men were found in a vacant lot in Tijuana Sunday, part of a wave of violence that claimed at least 23 lives over the weekend in this border city plagued by warring traffickers, authorities said.
The heads were discovered in plastic bags near the bodies in a poor neighborhood of Tijuana, across from San Diego, Baja California state police said in a statement. Three police identification cards were also found at the site.
The statement gave no motive for the killings, but they came as [COLOR=#NaNNaNNaN][HIGHLIGHT=#NaNNaNNaN]Mexico's[/HIGHLIGHT][/COLOR] drug cartels wage a bloody fight for smuggling routes and against government forces, dumping beheaded bodies onto streets, carrying out massacres and even tossing grenades into a crowd of Independence Day revelers — an attack that killed eight people in September.
More than 4,000 people have died so far this year in drug-related violence in Mexico
Such a waste of a potential voter block!

Sir, I wonder why they must be-head their victims? Could they be developing a weapon such as the Olbermann and Couric heads? I ask because you are located near an open border, are you not? I would certainly check into this, as the cartels may have designs onyourthe Olbermann head. Perhaps you should install some additional security at the Rancho del Rio Grande? Should you need my services to help deal with this matter, you know how to reach me.

watching everyone,

Che' Gourmet

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Comrade Ché, I thank you for this heads-up. I shall be particularly vigilant about any efforts to develop Weapons of Mass Sneering Destruction--that are not mine of course. I have wracked my brain for weeks and can think of nothing more deadly than a weaponized Olbermann head--it could destroy the income of the entire state of Vermont with just one howling fly-over. Not that we'd destroy our dear allies in Vermont. Just as an example.

Of course it is possible that the cartels in Mexico are experimenting with new methods of developing U.S. Congressmen.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Quid pro quo, Pupovich, quid pro quo. I'm still after the Chairman. What do you have?

I will tell you what I have Commissar, but keep this very quiet. Lenin help us should the Chairman get "whiff" of this, much less several other comrades here of lesser moral discipline such as we. In fact, it appears I was just in time confiscating this before the grave thieves made off with more. If that thieving Chairman finds out about this, I will need a battalion of my best troops to protect my latest subsidy and I will probably need to shoot half of them in the process! It does make for a nice birthday present.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Commissar Theocritus wrote:Quid pro quo, Pupovich, quid pro quo. I'm still after the Chairman. What do you have?

I will tell you what I have Commissar, but keep this very quiet. Lenin help us should the Chairman get "whiff" of this, much less several other comrades here of lesser moral discipline such as we. In fact, it appears I was just in time confiscating this before the grave thieves made off with more. If that thieving Chairman finds out about this, I will need a battalion of my best troops to protect my latest subsidy and I will probably need to shoot half of them in the process! It does make for a nice birthday present.

Marshal Pupovitch,

Good Day to you, comrade. Happy belated birthday, Sir! Hope you got that fabulous Chocolate Mousse Dream Torte I sent you? If not, I'm going to skin some delivery prole's ass, (I took special time from my laborious preparations for the opening of the new restaurant)because I made the torte just for you and your pups to enjoy on your birthday.

Now about this subsidy that you have mysteriously aquired. I fail to see how you could use this subsidy against the Chairman? We all know that he is impervious to its' effects, as he is always stoned (one way or another), so wouldn't it be a waste of time and effort...Ah... unless you plan to entrap entice him with it. I have no desire to interfere in the Commissar's vendetta against the Chairman. So happy plotting.....and luck.... to both of you...

the Gods must be crazy!

Che' Gourmet

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Now, now, Meow has a use for <i>everything</i>. With that pot I can see him getting the proles stoned enough to eat the other proles who were impaled on the creosote-soaked stakes, and you know what the taste of creosote does to food.

Or he could merely enjoy it himself. But this time he might wake up in Stalin's coffin instead of Mao's. Well, don't want to get big Commies jealous, do we? They might come back to haunt him. And kill oh another 100 million.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:And, Pupovich, keep your sticky paws off my newly minted uber-Commissars. I'm training them in the ways of duplicity and sheer shittiness.

Given the recent turn in events Commissar, you may wish to consider some judicious editing of your posts pointing out your sponsorship of Radnoskovich. I have already made copies in case this information is needed and can be put to use in the future.

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Thank you for that wonderful dessert Uber Commissar Che, it was wonderful! But you are mistaken in one area.... for I have no desire to use my recently acquired subsidy on Meow, it is my hope that he has been fully deceived by my dummy trail of Hummels and roofies that he does not even get a whiff of my stash. He is stoned enough as it is, and I have no intention in sharing that. My only other concern is what will happen if I get hooked on that stash? Where on earth will I find 3,000 year old primo like that again> Excuse me for a while....I have to put on some Pink Floyd and settle in for a little taste if you know what I mean....

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Uh, Pupovich, the pot bud is a marvelous keeper of THC, which is why you should <i>never</i> clean pot before you're going to use it. Or so I've been told. Those little wooden things with the spring in the bottom and the turned brass single-hitter? Dump them. You can put a week's worth of pot in one and by the time you get to the second or third day the good bit has leeched out.

Or so I've been told.

[off]An advertiser in <i>National Review</i> which is more libertarian than people think, said that people who smoked pot drank less and some quit entirely. I've not smoked pot in years but if you're of a mind to alter your consciousness, why not smoke something which makes you paranoid and lock the doors and stay inside instead of making you belligerent and foolhardy?

Oh. I'm being stupid here. There is so much vested interest in the drug-enforcement apparatus that it will never happen. If the DEA didn't have smugglers they'd invent them.

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I too Commissar have been away from the smoke for many many years.... but 2700 year old primo? Why that would be a temptation beyond my ability to withstand....as long as I can keep that no good Chairman's paws off my stash.

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I wonder if exploring Indian burial sites would expose peyote...

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I wonder if exploring Indian burial sites would expose peyote...

Ahh...yes Commissar Theocritis,

An archeological expedition is in order here! Do we have a resident Archeologist among our Collective? If not, then who would you suggest to head up this quest? I would gladly volunteer, Sir, but there is no one to oversee the PHK, and the restaurant still has so much work to be done to get ready for the Grand Opening. BTW, have you decided on a date for that yet? No pressure, my Master Thespian...... Oh, but how I long for the days on the road, riding my motorcycle, conversing with the poor masses.....smoking gathering the local herb........Enough of the nostalgia...it's back to work I go.......maybe I'll rent the "Motorcycle Diaries" tonight, so I can LMAO

Awaiting your shrewd counsel,

Che' Gourmet

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I wonder if the Collective could visit Hunter S. Thompson in Colorado. He's always well supplied, doing coke and acid and drink and pot all day on a schedule. I read it. I think it's acid in a hot tub. We know that the People's State of Colorado, which was supine for his O'liness in November, should be the scene of the next festival, which I propose we name Woodbirkenstock.

Ignore the lesbians. Unless you need a tire changed.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I wonder if the Collective could visit Hunter S. Thompson in Colorado. He's always well supplied, doing coke and acid and drink and pot all day on a schedule. I read it. I think it's acid in a hot tub. We know that the People's State of Colorado, which was supine for his O'liness in November, should be the scene of the next festival, which I propose we name Woodbirkenstock.

Ignore the lesbians. Unless you need a tire changed.

So he still takes guests? Did his Funerary Cannon shoot his ashes and peyote buttons into his hot tube? What style! Almost as impressive as Comrade Lenin! And he had John F Kerry there too?

Yes, agreed, this needs to be a regular party festival, complete with the Kerry cut-out serving peyote canapés.

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Oh, I read that Comrade Thompson had a Democrat Funeral Party, too!

Hunter's Friends Say Hollywood hijacked his funeral: "I COME NOT TO BURY HUNTER THOMPSON, BUT TO PROCLAIM MY SPECIAL STATUS."

I don't remember if I got an invite to his funeral, or if I attended.

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I did not know that Comrade Thompson had gone to the great collective in the sky. I had considered his brain dead for so long that I thought his body would live on forever.

I would love to have the worth of the blow at that funeral.


 
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