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Other species join us

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Comrades, the elevation and coronation of His O'liness has occasioned even different species to join us in being Progressive. In times past the wild animals saw to their own feeding, but as you know, a Progressive utterly rejects that actions have consequences in and of themselves.

Now we have animals which do not attempt to feed themselves but instead wait on it to be brought to them.

Meet Bearack Obama:

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I doubt if he tips.

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This is indeed a felicitous sign! The Bible Pocket Obama tells us that when the lower animals (yes, something is lower than Rethuglicans) join the masses in demanding their rights, the end of days is at hand. At least, it is for the imperialist pig who fails to satisfy Comrade Bearack's desire for equality and social justice! Like all our oppressed brethern, Bearack only wished to have a seat at society's table; as we can see, mission accomplished! I'll bet his community organizer is proud at the way Bearack growled spoke truth to power.

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Opiate, you are right. And just think. ACORN can register Bearack, and all the other woodland creatures. Once all the woodland creatures--bears, lions, rabbits, stoats, field mice--are registered voters, and on the various welfare rolls, then we need never fear an election again.

But do not tell ACORN that. They get worried if they think that there may be no use for fraud.

Commissar Theocritus,

Where did you find the photo of my mother in law??

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Gotta keep that Biatch Palin from killing them all before election day- or can we necro-proxy in the forest creatures?

-OV

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Comrades,

Since Spain gave apes the same rights as humans, it's only fair that all life and unlife be given the same deal.

I do wonder how Bearack's paw tastes. Since that's a culturally acceptable practice somewhere, maybe I can shoot him, cut it off, and find out for myself.

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Tovarich, do you think that the Chinese would pay money for Bearack's gall bladder? Isn't that for virility? And you know what they say about <i>black</i> bears...

Thank you for the link to Spain extending rights to apes. I so enjoyed the comments of the progressives who read the articles; they are entirely consonant with Bearack. We must extend human rights to all creatures, regardless of their species.

In fact, it is not too much to say that we must extend rights to listeria and salmonella, for who is to say that they are not related to Senator Schumer?

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Bearack waits for The One to take away guns from right wing fascist gunowners. Bearack then top of foodchain, people become corner of food pyramid. People the new white meat.

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I see the merger of Soylent Green and the Hemlock restaurants to get rid of proles faster.

There is one more thing though that we know: Bearack not only shits in the woods, but he shits where he eats. The perfect progressive.

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As someone once wrote, all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:There is one more thing though that we know: Bearack not only shits in the woods, but he shits where he eats. The perfect progressive.

Theo, this is a poignant observation but it potentially threatens the People's Tasty Creme monopoly through self-sufficiency. Of course, nobody said forced feeding was off the menu.

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Commissar, may I congratulate you once again for your clever "borrowing" of that picture from one of my posts? I never felt a thing. You are learning the Chairman's "fortune telling" quite well.

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Tovarich, I have been thinking a lot about People's Tasty Crème. It's self-sufficiency in a large sense. Some people won't want to eat all that they produce, while others will be very hungry with a hunger that will be hard to satisfy. Think Comradette Rosie. But be careful with her: you never know where that tongue has been.

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Kind and Generous Leader. I noticed that Ashly (Brain Dead) Judd is making strange noises again. These squeaks confuse and ANNOY ME. I do not know how much longer I can stand this. She is like fingers on a chalk board.

Perhaps we can introduce her to Bearack!!!! I can not handle this, My Goons Highly trained troopers are hiding from me.

Can't control myself must...................(Star trek music, when Kirk is fighting) (plays in back ground)




Commissar Red Star CEO. Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight.
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns.
Defender of the faith.

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So that's an Ashley Judd. I'd heard of such a creature. Look at the cords in her neck--is she an actress or one of those cadavers that some German "artist" plasticized and is displaying all over the world?

Seeing her shirt makes me think that she must be a comrade of unusual sensibility. Look at the rage. Toujours la rage.

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I vote re-animated Botoxed cadaver. But then what in showbiz isn't?

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By the way, hasn't that plasticized stuff started falling apart? I thought I'd read it had, like the little bits of decay in the bottom of biology class formaldehyde jars.

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Tovarich, if it has, it proves the technique is inferior to the preservation of the Almighty Lenin's body.

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Young Barak Obama before he became thoroughly sensitive to the needs of our brother species...

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Red Star wrote:Image

Here's a funny one: the list of people this over the hill pseudostar has pissed off includes, among others, Sarah Palin, and one Milka Duno. Apparently Judd, who's husband races with Duno, said that Duno ought not to be racing since she was too slow and thus was risking other people's lives. Duno was also criticized by Danica Patrick for the same.

Apparently Duno "holds master's degrees in Organizational Development, Naval Architecture, Maritime Business, and Marine Biology, and she has prior experience working as a naval engineer."
<br>This is, of course, Quackipedia so perhaps not reliable, but the same source informs us that miss Judd, a member of Phi Beta Kappa, "...had completed her bachelor's degree in French from the University of Kentucky. In a May 2007 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show,Judd explained that she had completed her degree requirements in 1990,but had mistakenly thought she was one class short. She only needed to"sign a piece of paper" in order to graduate. DeGeneres then surprisedJudd by presenting her with her diploma, which DeGeneres had acquiredfrom the university."

So who's the smarter better racer? Dunno. Could be this one:
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This one:

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Or the husband of this one:

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I suppose this keeps with the thread title since it is a catfight.

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Rex, all this bourgeois capitalistic spite amazes me. I am a mere naïf from TAKE-us who spend my time reading Engels and Marx. I am so innocent that the only reason that I got taken in by Bruno is that he looked like Helga from East Germany.

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I am not positive, but I believe Ashley Judd was the younger sister of the most famous mother and daughter singing group, The Judds. The Judds had talent.... as far as I know, Ashley has none.

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I must apologize to you all for my former outburst. It's just that aging Hollywood whores, with Sanctimonious attitudes that whine, tend to get me crotchety. When I look at her botox laden face and she reminds me, well of Nansky. Who you would be advised not to shake her hand with out protective gloves, as she is a walking hazardous waste dump, and a future “super fund” clean up site.

I would like to thank my good Comrades for being there when I needed help. Obamissar Vodkavich, allowed me to water board some of his carwash team. Che for the soup, and Fearless leader Commissar Theocritus for his encouraging words. (and the Christmas album that he and Bruno made) question Fearless leader? Did I hear the sounds of jack hammers, people screaming and toilets flushing? Just asking.


Commissar Red Star CEO. Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight.
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns.
Defender of the faith.

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Red Star, you have fine ears. Yes, there is, er, construction going on. That's it, construction for a New People's Park. And it is never-ending construction, too and we'll always be pouring concrete.

So if there is something that is a little big, er, inconvenient, do not hesitate to ask. I'm sure we can help you out.

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Comrades,

Theo brought up a glorious point about the wonders of Soviet science in keeping Lenin so fresh. However, reactionary thought has so undermined former Soviets that some have protested demanding Lenin's removal.

I think cockroaches should be given equal rights, in particular. However, I am confused as to whether I mean the insect, the progressive, or the politician in general. Why, on further consideration, all of them.

I bet it's really hard, however, to community organize the insects. In Japan we have a glorious device, however, that might work: gokiburi hoihoi, a container lined with glue (that might even be scented with offal, roach pheromones, or something else). Depending on where and how you live, you can have a full container of organized antennae-twitching activists!

Following Trotsky's dictum--Those who don't work don't eat!--perhaps an entomologist among us can say how long unfed roaches can live for. Certainly days. Why, that's plenty! After all, Comrade John Reed told us about Ten Days that Shook the World!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red Star, you have fine ears. Yes, there is, er, construction going on. That's it, construction for a New People's Park. And it is never-ending construction, too and we'll always be pouring concrete.

So if there is something that is a little big, er, inconvenient, do not hesitate to ask. I'm sure we can help you out.

I'm building a Deth Star!

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AbecedariusRex wrote:I'm building a Deth Star!

I've misspilled and I can't get up!

Comrades,
I have always wondered: Since Star Wars happened in a galaxy "far, far away a long time ago," that means the strikingly human lifeforms portrayed are not actually homo sapiens--barring the theory of UFO genetic pollination of planets. Should, for example, Obi Wan Kenobi have attempted to immigrate to AmeriKKKa, he would have been denied a visa (unless he used The Force), although surely "Jedi master" qualifies for some kind of skilled trade visa in which there are plenty of jobs Americans won't do.

The gist of this meandering verbosity is: Equal rights for all lifeforms, even virii. Liberate smallpox and let it be organic and free-range!

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Tovarich, getting into America is simple. Swim the Rio Grande and the Congress will give you social security. On the other hand, you can get a job as a software engineer and have the company go bankrupt. You will have to go back to India and take your husband, Dr. Moorthi, a leading-edge nephrologist, with you. So he can't pay the social security that you get when you sneak over and for medical care go to the ER for free.

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Great Comrade Tovarich with the truly delightful rainbow halo,
I've often thought just that. If the humanoids in STAR ROARS are not human then do they differ in unseen parts from humans? Are their internal organs the same? Do they reproduce asexually? (if so, can Luke legitimately date his sister or brother were he to have one?) And what of the mitochlorians (or whatever the heck) - are they like EColi or something? Are they sentient beings swimming around in the large intestines and upper duodenums of humanoid beings in galaxies far far away? And will these humanoids ever travel through a wormhole, seeking out new life forms and strange civilizations, or like commander Adama travel toward a distant planet called earth? And with such a plethora of alien species wouldn't there be at least one or two instances of interspecies intercourse? And imagine the children therein!!! Moreover, imagine the venereal disease as it leapt from one species to another! And we thought the Native Americans had it bad with Smallpox! And why is the DeathStar called a DeathStar when it's more of a moon? Shouldn't it be the "DeathMoon"? And is a Star Destroyer more powerful than a Death Star and why not? And why does Yoda talk like a fucking idiot! And why didn't the Clone Wars actually have the enemy be clones? And who really gives a yawn if the battles involve the destruction of droids which are essentially sentient furniture and thus don't constitute any risk aside from loss of property. And how could a race of moron lizard-like step&fetchits in the form of Gungans have a chance against such a crack army of droids? And if the droids lost to boneheads who talked like doofuses why didn't anybody up their programming so they would really become fierce. And if the killer droids from Fred Saberhagen's "Berzerker" series ever met the droid separatists would they join the separatists or wipe them out as incompetent losers? And why didn't George Lucas drown himself before the last three movies were made?

These sorts of questions and more keep me up at night.

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Rex, let us add something else. Why does R2D2 whistle and roll when C3PO and walk and talk--sort of? And he has hands. Unless Lucas was running short of funds for props and had an old canister vac.

Why do the X-wing fighters have, er, wings? What about the racers with two turbojets pulling a cabin? When that's enough power to power a destroyer, and in fact does.

But the most pressing question of all: Why does the princess have honey buns on her head which echo the style motif of her lips?

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Now you have me going. Star Wars = Cognitive Dissonance!

How can Wookies communicate using two syllables and a string of dippy dipthongs?
Why is it we have to wait until the third movie to see more of Princess Leia than a drapey gown and honey buns in her hair?
How can 2-legged walkers stabilize from recoil from their cannon?
Who the hell would put some fish-faced loon with live bait hanging from his chin in charge of the Rebel Fleet?
How come Anakin, Yoda and Obi-Wan get to be glowy-guys at the end of Episode whatever, but Quai-Gon-Jin is left out in the cold?
Why do the Jedi spend all their time sitting around a council room munching Courascant Creme donuts instead of doing their Jedi stuff and beating the bad guys?
How does Jabba the Hutt go to the bathroom?
Why is it that only Episode Three, the last movie, has a happy ending, with the Emperor in full control and the betrayal and massacre of the Jedi?

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Comrades we may never know the answer to these questions. Perhaps bourgeois Gungans, were just oppressed by the bushitters. C3P0 appears to be gold plated Poofter. The Wookies remind me of a cross between Andre the Giant and a Labrador retriever. Also I agree, what's was up at the end Anakin, Yoda and Obi-Wan, I call Racism!!! Appears Sam Jackson was not invited to the glowy-guys club!!!

Commissar Red Star CEO. Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight.
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns.
Defender of the faith.

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How come Anakin, Yoda and Obi-Wan get to be glowy-guys at the end of Episode whatever, but Quai-Gon-Jin is left out in the cold?

Because after the plot with holes you could drive trucks through and general black hole scale suckiness of the storyline, Liam Neeson told Lucas to get stuffed.

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Red Star wrote:C3P0 appears to be gold plated Poofter. The Wookies remind me of a cross between Andre the Giant and a Labrador retriever.

Right, so was there a programming for the droids entitled "swish" or "camp"? was that part of the original programming Anakin built in? was he just getting out his aggressions at being called Annie by his virgin mother? and what's up with that virgin mother bullshit anyway? who believes that stuff anymore, besides Catholics like myself? and in general where is the sex in Star Wars? I mean Anakin is conceived by some intergalactic asexual reproduction of the mitochlorians.... Luke and Leia never fully get it on (which is probably for the better)... Han and Leia have kids in the comic books without any preceding nookie... and totally ripping Jedis and hot Jediesses can cavort around the galaxy with nary a smidgeon of attraction to one another? get real. how can any universe perpetuate itself without food and sex (the two most essential and most unmentioned elements of history)?

And what of Chewbacca. Did he ever bathe? and if he did would he shake afterwards and fling soapy water all over the Aluminum Falcon thus pissing off Han Solo? or would he have that awful Irish Setter wet dog smell and linger about the chess board for hours afterwards? and did he have a full body haircut? and did he get fleas and burrs in him? and why didn't he overheat on Tattooine with temperatures approaching 140F (or whatever they measured heat with in a galaxy far far away)? and did Chewbacca run the risk of catching distemper, mange, or hydrophobia if he failed to suppress that urge to chase small rodents down backalleys, eat from the garbage can, and roll in dead fish heads? and why is the Wookie crossbow the most useless weapon in every STAR WARS game ever made (including Republic Commandos - which rocks)? and why doesn't George Lucas take the plug out of his rectum and actually allow a sequal to be made to that excellent game?

Sorry... I'm an inquisitive kind of guy.

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Rex wrote: Han and Leia have kids in the comic books without any preceding nookie.
That's because Han was having nookie with the Wookie. Once you've had Wookie you weally won't want anything else. I'm told.

Actually the reason that Chewbaca dropped out of sight is that he had a full-body Brazilian wax and started to host on <i>The View</i>.

C3P0 wasn't actually a poofter. He was just a prissy Brit, like Roddy McDowall.

Oh. My bad.

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Also I think that the series was redone to take the guns out of the soldier's hands to make them into communicators or something like that--in a war. This is like bowdlerizing the Bugs Bunny cartoons, removing Elmer shooting a gun down the hole.

But of course we have Ted Turner's "Captain Planet," which was the first chancre on the body of environmentally correct political correctness. And like all chancres it was a useless excrescence--preachy, humorless, and dull. Like Ted Turner or the Holy Gore.

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Everything seems to come back to his Divine Malfeasance, the Holy Gore. He's kind of like Kevin Bacon in that way.

And thanks, Commissar T, for that lovely image of Chewbacca with a full-body Brazilian wax job. I thought that he was kicked off the View after a tiff with Babwa Wawa, but maybe that was just in one of my drug induced stupors.

confirmation that Leia's title was E.Z.

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and as if things weren't bad enough, Chewie was a she!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Rex, let us add something else. Why does R2D2 whistle and roll when C3PO and walk and talk--sort of? And he has hands. Unless Lucas was running short of funds for props and had an old canister vac.

Why do the X-wing fighters have, er, wings? What about the racers with two turbojets pulling a cabin? When that's enough power to power a destroyer, and in fact does.

But the most pressing question of all: Why does the princess have honey buns on her head which echo the style motif of her lips?

Theo and Rex, these are indeed troubling questions that should be addressed by the Party. Allow me to provide some input.

I only saw the first three movies made, so I cannot comment on the others; however, it would not be a bad idea for George Lucas to banished to Tattooine.

Once I read that Princess Leia was in fact "addicted to LSD" during the first movie, so my guess is those honeybuns are attempts at cosmic vortices to balance the expanded consciousness. You know, like the ones at Sedona and, coincidentally, other scenic areas that make property values rise by attracting New Age Californians with more money than brains. Given how Native Americans roamed the Great Plains, it's curious nobody has located additional cosmic vortices in, oh, central Kansas.

Maybe The One can have some cosmic vortices located in Chicago and Gary!

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AbecedariusRex wrote:and as if things weren't bad enough, Chewie was a she!

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Dagnabbit, and here I was thinking he was a Skoal man! [cue Sam & Dave]

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Let us be nice to Carrie Fischer. Meryl Streep appeared in <i>Postcards from the Edge</i>, with Shirley McLaine as her mother. I heard it was somewhat autobiographic. Once I saw Debbie Reynolds hosting on some movie channel and she was incredibly blotto. I'm not razzing her for that--it happens--but she has had some problems. And seems to have done well. Streep is irritating but really quite good.

Esteemed Comrades,

I realise that we are all equal, but after reading your contributions to the glorious people's struggle for ever more glory and equality, I cannot help but feel that you are far more equal than others!

I salute you, fellow Bolsheviks. Down with capitalist exploitation and frivolity, long live poverty and equality!

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and as if things weren't bad enough, Chewie was a she!
Dagnabbit, and here I was thinking he was a Skoal man! [cue Sam & Dave]
Umm...where were you two during the Clinton Administration? She was also our glorious AG.

OOC....

I just now checked "Google Images" and made an inquiry to see about any pics of Reno as Chewbacca.
Back in the 1990s, the images were all over the place.
Guess what?
The "Commissar Vanished". I couldn't find a single one.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:That's because Han was having nookie with the Wookie. Once you've had Wookie you weally won't want anything else. I'm told.


And you promised you WOULD NOT tell!!


Well, the cats out of the bag now. Here is a picture of our son...

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The sad thing is I tried my hardest to raise the boy right.

There is such a thing as a bad seed.

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Comrades!
We must incorporate the populace of our cow brethren into the party immediately!
According to this articlethey are fast being turned into juicy cheese and hamburgers b/c of the decrease in milk following the economic crash under Bushitler.

Now that the Obamassiah has risen to glory the economic crisis will end and people will be drinking more milk. Thus, if the party cashes in on the ground floor now we can make a killing selling milk and beef to the needy, that is, we can bequeath our bovine brethren with a bevy of buxom babes for their betterment.

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Odd but strangely erotic activism!

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We might have trouble with that, though; the last time Our Many Titted Empress was here and utterly trashed the place, I got so pissed that I took out ads to beware Mad Cow Disease.

Anyone who has had full-frontal contact with our MTE of course knew <i>exactly</i> what I meant but others just went off their beef for a while.

There is one good thing though about Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis. The doctors who treat Congress have made such rapid advances in the treatment that you just couldn't guess that Nansky has had it for 20 years, and if you accidentally pull on her tit, she shits on the floor.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote: and if you accidentally pull on her tit, she shits on the floor.

And her wrinkled smooth out...


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If you look at the bellies of Kennedy, Mikulski, Our Many Titted Empress, and a few others, you will see a spendulus panniculus. And we're talking a Grade 5 <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panniculus">panniculus</a>.


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FUPA-troopas. Are we back to ABBA?

But this would mean that the last song that would enter my mind would be "Voulez Vous?"


 
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