[img]/images/Starbucks_Red_Cup_Christmas.jpg[/img]

Why, it's such a smashing success that I can't help myself—I simply have to gush and gloat over the brilliance of it by recounting how it all came about!

As you know, comrades, it's that time of year when people eat and spend money more than usual. When evils like exclusion, greed, acquisition, excess, family and unfairness—all couched between giving thanks to a mythical being and observing the birth of that mythical being's progeny—become the order of the season.

It has always been The Party's policy to counter these evils and make everyone feel guilty for their so-called blessings by calling attention to the ongoing plight of the homeless, the hungry, the poor, etc. Indeed, when was the last time you turned on the local news on Thanksgiving Day, without being bombarded with images of starving masses lined up at a shelter for the only meal they'll ever have all year? Or stories of people camping out in tents on the sidewalks outside businesses that same day, in spite of the cold and lack of sanitary facilities—and all because they have no job to go to, no family with which to spend quality time, but perhaps most importantly, no life at all?

For years we blamed this sad state of affairs on Reagan and then Bush. We demanded a government solution to this problem they caused. When Obama was elected, we finally had the solution we'd been waiting for. Between Obama and a Democratic majority in both House and Senate, we shoved Christianity out of the way and set out to prove that Government can and will always do a better job than God!

Alas, almost eight years on the poor are still with us and things are worse. It's getting harder and harder to convince people that the long-lasting consequences of Reagan/Bush policies are at fault. We've even tried blaming climate change. After forty-plus years of warning the masses that we have less than ten years if that many to save the planet, we must grudgingly concede that we can't exactly blame people for reacting the same way we do to Christian predictions of “Judgment Day” taking place in 1975, then 1984, then 2000, etc. Clearly we still need to work on our messaging.

In the meantime, we decided to put the burden back where it belongs, where the Christians themselves have always wanted it, so they can hardly complain if we do. It's time to let them take the blame and demand they solve the problem—at least until Hillary's coronation, when maybe then we'll have more of the right people in charge.

We scoured You Tube for a video by some whackjob no one ever heard of. Someone who would easily be forgotten in the ensuing chaos. (Quick—without looking it up, who can give me the name of the person who made the video that sparked Benghazi? Show me a fluffy “Where is he now?” article. There isn't one!) Someone who would never get the fifteen minutes of fame he hoped to enjoy, because his obscure whackjobbery was needed to scapegoat an entire movement. We unearthed just such a creature, one who ranted some nonsense about Christmas and the color of Starbucks cups. Sure it was stupid, but we knew it would do. We used him to light the fuse, tossed him away just as we would a used match, and voila! The Starbucks Red Cup Kerfluffle was born.

Thanks to the masses on social media already bored with Ben Carson's lies and in desperate need of something bright and shiny to distract and ultimately offend them and fill them with outrage, the Red Cup Controversy not only went viral within hours, but just as swiftly developed a consensus of groupthink guaranteed to squelch any threat of backlash, pushback, whiplash, whupass, or even pussywhup.

So much glorious Christian-bashing! Yes, comrades, as I scrolled down my Facebook newsfeed, all I saw was meme after meme after meme scolding all of Christianity for having nothing better to do with their time than whine about a red cup that made no mention of their savior. Meme after meme after meme exhorting Christians to go out and shelter the homeless, feed the starving, clothe the naked, employ the jobless, abort adopt the unwanted—all the things they don't want Government to do because they've insisted since time immemorial that they can do a better job of it.

Then why are the homeless, starving, naked, jobless, unwanted, etc. still with us? Because Christians are too busy raising a big unholy stink about the color of a coffee cup. What is it with their hatred of color? “I don't like red cups. I don't like the black man in the White House. I don't like the rainbow flag because gays.”

When Jesus said “the poor will always be with us,” that's why. Because his so-called followers refuse to do anything to help them, yet they don't want the Government to help them, either.

Therefore, this season, when you see or read the same stories about the hungry lining up to be fed, the homeless queuing up to be sheltered, the people camping outside the stores hoping a great deal on a piece of merchandise within will make their prolonged suffering, deprivation, and subsequent trampling by like-minded victims of capitalism worth the wait, the trouble, and the money they never had to part with since they never worked for it, because they had no job—blame the Christians.

And when you sit down this season to partake of what others cannot—because of Christians—of course you should feel guilty. How can you not? But you should also be outraged at the knowledge that Christians are even more guilty, for they brought society to this, and only Government is the people's true salvation.

Government's good.
Government's great.
Thanks for all rights
Endowed by the State.
Amen.

Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People's Cube, with a lifelong commitment to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn't busy making an issue out of everything, she enjoys spending other people's money, jumping on bandwagons, and looking for anything she deems offensive and a threat to her safe space.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Why, it's such a smashing success that I can't help myself—I simply have to gush and gloat over the brilliance of it by recounting how it all came about!

As you know, comrades, it's that time of year when people eat and spend money more than usual. When evils like exclusion, greed, acquisition, excess, family and unfairness—all couched between giving thanks to a mythical being and observing the birth of that mythical being's progeny—become the order of the season.

It has always been The Party's policy to counter these evils and make everyone feel guilty for their so-called blessings by calling attention to the ongoing plight of the homeless, the hungry, the poor, etc. Indeed, when was the last time you turned on the local news on Thanksgiving Day, without being bombarded with images of starving masses lined up at a shelter for the only meal they'll ever have all year? Or stories of people camping out in tents on the sidewalks outside businesses that same day, in spite of the cold and lack of sanitary facilities—and all because they have no job to go to, no family with which to spend quality time, but perhaps most importantly, no life at all?

For years we blamed this sad state of affairs on Reagan and then Bush. We demanded a government solution to this problem they caused. When Obama was elected, we finally had the solution we'd been waiting for. Between Obama and a Democratic majority in both House and Senate, we shoved Christianity out of the way and set out to prove that Government can and will always do a better job than God!

Alas, almost eight years on the poor are still with us and things are worse. It's getting harder and harder to convince people that the long-lasting consequences of Reagan/Bush policies are at fault. We've even tried blaming climate change. After forty-plus years of warning the masses that we have less than ten years if that many to save the planet, we must grudgingly concede that we can't exactly blame people for reacting the same way we do to Christian predictions of “Judgment Day” taking place in 1975, then 1984, then 2000, etc. Clearly we still need to work on our messaging.

In the meantime, we decided to put the burden back where it belongs, where the Christians themselves have always wanted it, so they can hardly complain if we do. It's time to let them take the blame and demand they solve the problem—at least until Hillary's coronation, when maybe then we'll have more of the right people in charge.

We scoured You Tube for a video by some whackjob no one ever heard of. Someone who would easily be forgotten in the ensuing chaos. (Quick—without looking it up, who can give me the name of the person who made the video that sparked Benghazi? Show me a fluffy “Where is he now?” article. There isn't one!) Someone who would never get the fifteen minutes of fame he hoped to enjoy, because his obscure whackjobbery was needed to scapegoat an entire movement. We unearthed just such a creature, one who ranted some nonsense about Christmas and the color of Starbucks cups. Sure it was stupid, but we knew it would do. We used him to light the fuse, tossed him away just as we would a used match, and voila! The Starbucks Red Cup Kerfluffle was born.

Thanks to the masses on social media already bored with Ben Carson's lies and in desperate need of something bright and shiny to distract and ultimately offend them and fill them with outrage, the Red Cup Controversy not only went viral within hours, but just as swiftly developed a consensus of groupthink guaranteed to squelch any threat of backlash, pushback, whiplash, whupass, or even pussywhup.

So much glorious Christian-bashing! Yes, comrades, as I scrolled down my Facebook newsfeed, all I saw was meme after meme after meme scolding all of Christianity for having nothing better to do with their time than whine about a red cup that made no mention of their savior. Meme after meme after meme exhorting Christians to go out and shelter the homeless, feed the starving, clothe the naked, employ the jobless, abort adopt the unwanted—all the things they don't want Government to do because they've insisted since time immemorial that they can do a better job of it.

Then why are the homeless, starving, naked, jobless, unwanted, etc. still with us? Because Christians are too busy raising a big unholy stink about the color of a coffee cup. What is it with their hatred of color? “I don't like red cups. I don't like the black man in the White House. I don't like the rainbow flag because gays.”

When Jesus said “the poor will always be with us,” that's why. Because his so-called followers refuse to do anything to help them, yet they don't want the Government to help them, either.

Therefore, this season, when you see or read the same stories about the hungry lining up to be fed, the homeless queuing up to be sheltered, the people camping outside the stores hoping a great deal on a piece of merchandise within will make their prolonged suffering, deprivation, and subsequent trampling by like-minded victims of capitalism worth the wait, the trouble, and the money they never had to part with since they never worked for it, because they had no job—blame the Christians.

And when you sit down this season to partake of what others cannot—because of Christians—of course you should feel guilty. How can you not? But you should also be outraged at the knowledge that Christians are even more guilty, for they brought society to this, and only Government is the people's true salvation.

[highlight=#ffff00]Government's good.
Government's great.
Thanks for all rights
Endowed by the State.
Amen.
[/highlight]
Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People's Cube, with a lifelong commitment to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn't busy making an issue out of everything, she enjoys spending other people's money, jumping on bandwagons, and looking for anything she deems offensive and a threat to her safe space.

Yeah, Commissarka Pinkie,

I've had “conversations” with those who think Big Government is the answer. When I mention my fear of such a government and how dangerous it is, how a government that can give you everything can also take it away, they all give me the same answer, and I never mentioned God to any of them.

That answer is (in a very snarly, nasty way): Then go to your “God” if you don't like it!

This is a rote answer given to me by people who don't even know each other.

I did tell one of these, my brother no less, to take his condescending ass and go f*ck himself, after which, I hung up on him.

He called me a week later to “make nice.” He never apologized, though. Never mentioned our previous call. He's hopeless. I just have to accept him for who he chooses to be, I guess.

Arrrgh!

Personally, I like red cups. And, blue, orange, brown, black, yellow.

If I had a shovel
I'd shovel in the morning
I'd shovel in the evening
All over this land
I'd shovel out danger
I'd shovel out a warning
I'd shovel out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

HT: Pete Seeger (with some simple adjustments)

But, alas, all I have is a cute avatar.

I DO, however, want SNOWFLAKES on every Starbucks cup. After all, they represent all children, everywhere!

I think we should take notes from the students and faculty at MU and form a human chain around all Starbucks stores to keep the christians and the media out so we can all enjoy our caffeine hit in a Safe Space™.

That red cup video is what started the riots on college campuses. The secretary of state needs to get whoever made that video. Who would do such a thing?

Now a red solo Starbucks cup is the best receptacle
For barbecues tailgates fairs and festivals
And you sir do not have a pair of testicles
If you prefer drinking from glass

A red solo Starbucks cup is cheap and disposable
And in fourteen years they are decomposable
And unlike my home they are not fore-closable
Freddie Mac The Christians can kiss my ass woo

Red solo Starbucks cup I fill you up
Let's have a party let's have a party

I tried making a picture of a People's Cube morphed into a red Starbucks cup but my Photoshop-fu is just not equal to the task. Maybe someone else can do it.

.

Hopefully Christians go to Starbucks and dial 911 to report the hurtful cups. It would save me a lot of trouble trying to find them all... When the gulag barracks are packed full of Christians, only those on the exterior walls freeze to death at night.

Now updated with a new shiny postcard...