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North Korea responds to Trump rhetoric

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Kim_Jong_Un_Monty_Python.jpg[/img]

Moments after the tyrannical dictator Donald Trump incited the peaceful nation of North Korea by rattling the "fire and fury" saber, the people's democratic North Korean government led by the duly elected and beloved Kim Jong-Un made it known that they were stunned by the unwarranted macroaggression and vowed to respond in kind.

During a tour of a people's chicken farm in Sum-dam Province earlier today, President Kim appeared visibly annoyed when a reporter read to him Donald Trump's speech before the reporter disappeared forever from the crowd. Kim collected himself with a few deep breaths, approached the microphones before him and stated, "You don't frighten us, orange pig dog. Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, you so-called Trump President, you and all your silly American gub-er-mint."

Encouraged by one of Dear Leader Kim's generals, the local chicken farmer shook off the uncomfortable pain from the pistol held against his ribs, and in a shaking voice and with lowered head asked aloud, "Will you negotiate with the American pig dogs if they desire it?"

Kim stood straight and proud, looked directly into the camera and said, "I have already told them… I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or I will taunt you a second time."

MISSILE TEST

The rhetoric between the two leaders has certainly increased in pace and hostility since the latest North Korean missile test. The soon-to-be impeached dictator Trump cited a recent North Korean missile test as the basis for his increasing anti-Asian and racist condemnations.

We have obtained a transcript of the conversation that took place with Kim Jong-Un and his staff at the people's missile test site just before the launch. We invite our readers to examine the transcript on their own.

Kim Jong-Un: How does it… how does it work?

General Hoo Flung-Poo: I know not Dear Leader.

Kim: Consult the Book of the People's Armaments.

General Poo: People's Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty one.

Major Iyam-Fat: And General Poo raised the ballistic missile up on high, saying, "O Dear Leader, bless this thy ballistic missile, that with it thou mayst blow thine round-eyed American enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And Dear Leader did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

General Poo: Skip a bit, Major...

Major Fat: And Dear Leader spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the People's Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then launchest thou thy ballistic missile of Pyongyang towards Trump thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

We hired the same FBI agents and Democrat donors who previously had examined the Hillary Clinton emails for any sign of illegality, asking them to find any evidence in this transcript that could have warranted such a harsh response from Trump. If North Korea had indeed provoked Trump, our hand-picked, unbiased experts would have found such evidence. They did not.

WHAT TO EXPECT

With the increasing tensions between the two nations, our citizens have been unable to focus on the news that matters, such as, that Colin Kaepernick is still not employed by an NFL team because he is black. Neither have people paid the proper attention to Kylie Kardashian's Lamborghini guilt and other critical developments across the nation.

We would much rather be writing these stories, as well as promote the restoration of First Amendment rights by destroying others' First Amendment rights in our colleges. But unfortunately, until Trump agrees to resign from office and recognize Hillary Clinton as the rightful successor, we have no choice but to expose his continued warmongering and fake news from this administration.




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And now for something completely different: a man with three buttocks.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Monty_Python_Different.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/Kim_3_Buttocks.jpg[/img]

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This gives me a not completely different idea.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Trump_Korea_Something_Different.jpg[/img]


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Kim Jong Un - "It's only a flesh wound!"

Trump - "Right, we'll call it a draw."



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His heavenly father Kim Jong Dead (no longer ill!) has given Rocket Boy a Sacred Quest: To find the Holy Hydrogen Bomb!

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