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National Denounce a Comrade Month

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Given the number of denouncements that have been flying of late, I think we should declare February to be "National Denounce a Comrade Month." As Progressives, we know that everybody is a selfish and petty bastard and guilty of any number of crimes against humanity simply by being human and continuing to exhale carbon dioxide.

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Those of us who are Americans bear the collective guilt of collective affluence. Those of us who are Canadians bear the collective guilt for not invading the United Sates and forcing the adoption of socialized health care. Those of us with any European descent bear the collective guilt of imperialism. Those of us who are not of European descent bear the collective guilt of adopting any form of Western culture or technology. In fact, the only people who are not a part of this collective guilt are those who have already constructed a collective society. This lets the North Koreans out, but the rest of us...

Image ...We deserve nothing more than a gulag guarded by baboons.

But this collective guilt weighs heavy on the souls that we do not have, and we thus seek the solace of victim status. This creates the strange dichotomy of being both victim and villain, and the only way that we can feel better about ourselves is to convince ourselves that while we are guilty, we aren't as guilty as the others. Thus is born the self-righteous denouncement.

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So this is the month for it, comrades! We all know who we are (We are the people we've been waiting for) and what we are all about! So let it all hang out! Here. Let me get it started:

I DENOUNCE RED SQUARE! He is perfectly cubical and red. This makes me feel inadequate!

I DENOUNCE PINKIE! She has had crushes on damn near every Progressive but me!

I DENOUNCE PUPOVICH! For having a glossy coat! As we all know, Fur is Murder!

I DENOUNCE PUNCHENKO! My toast tastes funny every time after he visits!

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I DENOUNCE ALL COMRADES WHO ENGAGE IN LAMPOONING, SATIRE AND PARODY.
THE MIME IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.

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What the hell are you squawking about,Betinov?! Pinkie has never had a crush on you? Au contraire,mon Brain....do you not recall how she got all up in my grill when I wrote something about perhaps marrying you, if I should find myself single in the future? Pinkie was not pleased with my comment. I had togrovel at her feet(not that i mind doing so)and beg her forgiveness. I still have nightmares about this incident. I denounce myself daily,in remembrance of my crime against Pinkie.

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I DENOUNCE LENIN 'N' THINGS! For dredging up past events that run contrary to my current insane and psychotic episode!

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Hey,thanks for noticing the change in my name :) And you can denounce me anytime,Comrade SexyBrain.

(apparently,I'm not THAT penitent...just don't tell Pinkie)

**runs into her underground bunker,escaping the Wrath of Pinkie**

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I DENOUNCE BETINOV! February is BLACK HISTORY month! To think that you would dare trample upon the one month of the year in which we celebrate black history is beyond the pale. You shouldn't be sent to dig beets, you should be made a beet. Of all of the times you could choose, you choose the first Black History month during the first year of the first black President. The One will not be pleased, he may have you sent to the fight club at Rikers. He will make an example of you!

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I do hereby DENOUNCE the BRAIN IN A JAR for choosing the SHORTEST month of the year for Denounce a Comrade month. Even on a leap year it's not long enough for all the denouncing we have up our collective sleeves...

-OV
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

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I DENOUNCE RED JIM! For his racist refusal to point out that Black History Month is relegated to the shortest month of the year and failure to show proper Progressive outrage at this insult to African-Americans!

I DENOUNCE VODKAVICH! For failure to apply PeopleMathtm to the situation and thus in the process making February feel bad for being less equal to other months!

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And you can denounce me anytime,Comrade SexyBrain.

(The noise you hear in the background is the sound of preservative fluid boiling in a brain jar.)

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Ivan Betinov wrote: I DENOUNCE PINKIE! She has had crushes on damn near every Progressive but me!

You want me to have a crush on you, Brain Boy? YOU WANT A CRUSH FROM ME?

Take this from my shovel . . .

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WHACK!

How's that for a crush on you, Jarhead? Should I add the heel of my boot? Had enough, Glassjaw?

Who's next? How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

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I also Denounce Brain in a jar!!! Why because I can!!! Now if you don't mind we are going for recreational door kicking, Then a stop at Hemlock Burger.


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc
Director of kicking doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the faith

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I Denounce Brain in a jar as well, because this was his idea.

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Lenin 'n' Things wrote:....Au contraire,mon Brain....do you not recall how she got all up in my grill....
I denounce comrades who work across crafts.
It is I, Navigator, who must get into grills, whether my own or another.

Now that you mention it, I'm getting a Chris Matthews up my leg!

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I denounce all you people who go in for all this showboating about denouncing. I mean, get a grip, you gaggle of drama queens. People who revel in denouncing need to be denounced.

And I denounce you all.

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I denounce Red Square for selling me a puzzle cube I am unable to solve.

I denounce Betinov because the fluid in his jar does not completely cover the brain and because in his denounciation of Red Square, he failed to notice that a square is a 2-dimensional figure which cannot be cubical.

I denounce the fact that I do not wish to denounce Pinkie because I have already been hit by a shovel too many times this week.

I denounce myself for denouncing the above and I doubly denounce Betinov for causing me to denounce the above thereby causing me to denounce myself.

I denounce denouncing.

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I denounce the party for never having been denounced. What? You think my shit doesn't stink? Of course it stinks. I'm a really big Commissar, you jerks. And my shit stinks as much as anyone else's shit.

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I call for a PURGE! Let's purge the denounced. Vodkavich, you get the tar I get the feather and a rail.

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I'm drunk off my ass and I've got the tar! Who do we start with, Comrades?

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Betinov goes first! He did not put this idea before the Party before posting here.

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I DENOUNCE EVERYBODY WHO DIDN'T USE THE CAPS LOCK KEY IN POSTING THEIR DENUNCIATIONS!

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<i>I denounce people who shout in caps! I denounce people who don't know that the proper etiquette for denouncing, after 9 in the evening, in italics! Would you wear white shoes after Labor Day?<i>

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I haven't reveived my capital letter stimulus package yet so I couldn't do the whole sentence. Oh, it just arrived.

I DENOUNCE BETINOV (AGAIN) FOR NOT MODIFYING HIS AVATAR TO REFLECT THE WHACK BY PINKIE'S SHOVEL!!

-OV

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Vodkavich, I think that Pinkie is AWOL from this forum. I suspect that she and Pupovich are framing someone. That sounds about right. But really you'd think that Pupovich would be here, showing his best moves in, "Denouncing with the Commissars." He does a mean three step.

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As People's Director of Visual Agitation I felt I needed to provide some visuals...

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I denounce brain in a jar for creating a single month to denounce comrades, which makes the other 11 months feel inadequate for denouncing. I further denounce brain in a jar just because his name and denounce have come up so often.

Also I denounce the comrade who stares back at me from the mirror every morning in the collective bathroom. This comrade looks like me, mimics my moves, but never responds to me. Mirror image 7.62 is the one I denouce the most!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Vodkavich, I think that Pinkie is AWOL from this forum. I suspect that she and Pupovich are framing someone. That sounds about right. But really you'd think that Pupovich would be here, showing his best moves in, "Denouncing with the Commissars." He does a mean three step.

You know Comrade, I've always wondered who REALLY framed Comrade Juice. And I wish Pupovich were here, because I was looking forward to my first show trial and subsequent purge. I'm still relatively new in the Collective and I wanted to pop my show trial cherry... Oh well. I'll just concentrate on my collaboration with Comrade Red Star instead...

-OV

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Red Square wrote:As People's Director of Visual Agitation I felt I needed to provide some visuals...

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Thank you, Dear Leader. If only the Moonbats could remember the negative aspects (are there any positive aspects) of socialism/communism- coming to a mass grave near you!

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And I wish Pupovich were here, because I was looking forward to my first show trial and subsequent purge.

Here in National Denounce a Comrade Month it looks like we're working our way up to a real binge of purges!

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I remember the time when denunciations and purges used to trickle down. Now they are growing from the bottom up! This is the true meaning of Change(tm), comrades! By denouncing yourselves you become the Change(tm) that you seek!

Did somebody say shovel-ready projects?

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Red, you have piqued my interest. Why not have Hobby Lobby have do-it-yourself purge kits? You could decide whom to purge and how, and you could seek advice from that fat bohunk Cathy Mitchell with the gem setter.

How do you want to appear in the dock? In fatigues? In dress uniform? In shorts, flip-flops and tee-shirt? Or do you really want to zing your bling and show up in clothes encrusted with cubic zirconium so that years on people will still be talking about your purge?

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Red Square wrote:I remember the time when denunciations and purges used to trickle down. Now they are growing from the bottom up! This is the true meaning of Change(tm), comrades! By denouncing yourselves you become the Change(tm) that you seek!

Did somebody say shovel-ready projects?

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Blessed Leader,

I have indeed heard Faux News use the term "Shovel-ready projects!" Life imitates the cube fo realz! I believe the Cube had evidence in an entry long ago that Michelle Malkin had visited the cube based on some evidence on her blog. Now that she's been appearing on Fox, it should follow that she would discuss the most progressive blog she'd ever seen. This could very well explain the dramatic increase in references to socialism/communism/shovels on Fox. As long as Steve Doocy stays off the Cube, all will be good in my heart. I do hope Comrade Beck joins soon.

-OV

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Vodkavich, I think that Pinkie is AWOL from this forum. I suspect that she and Pupovich are framing someone. That sounds about right. But really you'd think that Pupovich would be here, showing his best moves in, "Denouncing with the Commissars." He does a mean three step.

I DENOUNCE COMMISSAR THEOCRITUS FOR DRAGGING ME INTO DENOUNCING AGAINST MY BETTER NATURE!

I also denounce the Commissar for making me waste people's electrons by using both capital letters in italics just to cover both styles

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red, you have piqued my interest. Why not have Hobby Lobby have do-it-yourself purge kits? You could decide whom to purge and how, and you could seek advice from that fat bohunk Cathy Mitchell with the gem setter.

How do you want to appear in the dock? In fatigues? In dress uniform? In shorts, flip-flops and tee-shirt? Or do you really want to zing your bling and show up in clothes encrusted with cubic zirconium so that years on people will still be talking about your purge?

Commissar Theocritis,

Now one must dress for a purge? I just returned from Cuba (Food Show...yeah right), and I would have purchased some finery from the sweat-shops boutiques that Raul recommended, had I known in advance what the proper etiquette was for a Show Trial.
If, indeed we must dress for the occasion, then I really must have the name of a progressive, radical designer, and whom better to ask than mi amigo, Theocritis?

Yes, the "purge-yourself" kits would make it much easier on the Inner Circle, (and we all know how very industrious we...they are....hahah), but it wouldn't teach the proles the Current Truth(tm), which, as we who are more equal, promote for the good of all in the Party. Could your kits reflect this important point?
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I have already denounced the Obamissar(?)Vodkovitch in another thread. I also denounce Skinnee Jay for ignoring the direct order of a UberCommissar (yes, me)!! Bet you thought you were in the clear, didn't you, you insolent prole!

Let the Yezhovshchina begin!

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Pupovich, I didn't think you cared! Here I was, all sad and feeling abandoned, owing to the collapse of the oil business and the sudden collapse of West Texas economies, and you cheer me up with a denunciation! Thank you. Now if I'd just been fool enough to get into debt when I didn't have to, I could have the double satisfaction of whining to the government for money. But alas entirely too much of my petit bourgeois background refused to die.

Che, I am of the opinion that you should dress for a show trial depending on the message that you want to send. Now Pupovich always wears a rhinestone collar. Proud but not obviously expensive, and it strikes the right note. There is something to be said though for simple fatigues. You can say that you are a tireless soldier for The People(tm) and that you've just come in from flogging the peasants digging beets. That's been known to work.

But I have seen good results with a comrade who reminded me of Leona Helmsley when she was in the dock. She was charged with being insufficiently zealous and refused self-confession. But when she snarled, "I don't pay taxes. Taxes are for the little people," she so touched the hearts of the tribunal that she was set free.

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Vodkavich wrote:As long as Steve Doocy stays off the Cube, all will be good in my heart.
Doocey plays the fool but I have heard him make some very sharp comments toward moonbats.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Vodkavich, I think that Pinkie is AWOL from this forum. I suspect that she and Pupovich are framing someone. That sounds about right. But really you'd think that Pupovich would be here, showing his best moves in, "Denouncing with the Commissars." He does a mean three step.

Theocritus, you think WRONG. If you scroll back, you'll see that I posted here well before you did.

I HEREBY DENOUNCE THEOCRITUS FOR FAILING TO NOTICE MY PRESENCE ON THIS THREAD!

How could you miss me, Theo? How could anyone miss seeing me, with my bright red headscarf? My bright red nose? MY SHINY GOLD SHOVEL AS IT GOES

WHACK!

UPSIDE YOUR HEAD?!?

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I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE FOR HAVING A GOLDEN SHOVEL! Gold is soft and heavy, and it would not be able to dig at all. Probably would get all bent up if she wacked many people with it.

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I Denounce Comrade Joe, for Denouncing Commissarka Pinkie. And I denounce myself for denouncing myself!!!!


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc
Director of kicking doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the faith

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Red Star wrote:I Denounce Comrade Joe, for Denouncing Commissarka Pinkie. And I denounce myself for denouncing myself!!!!

I DENOUNCE YOU FOR DENOUNCING ME!

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I DENOUNCE COMRADE RIEUXCAT, for being overly enamored with a non-SEC football team (and having less-than-adequate German skills, despite his familial attachments with Teutons).

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE for not having given my Bolshevik Be-otch Bodyguard Brigade personally autographed shovels.

I DENOUNCE COMMISSAR THEOCRITUS for his associations with a horny-hat-abusing subversive! My beotch in charge of returns presented me with a dented colander and two nubs where the Heads O' State had been attached. 'Tis a waste of the People's Resources!

It's either denunciation, comrade, or holding you hostage (Lenin loved that tactic, too) in Betinov's jar until Bruno comes to answer for his crimes.

And NO ONE denounces Comrade 7.62. We both outgun all of you!
Image Of course, if you put us in charge of the purges, we can turn this into a very symbiotic thing, you know. No need for you to get your hands dirty, comrades.

Hey, is anyone keeping track of the denunciations? I think Betinov is still in the lead.

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I denounced People's artist Comrade Fairy to the People's Republic of Boston just yesterday:


ØBAMA POSTER ARTIST GONE TO GULAG

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Oh Yea, Well I denounce DDR Kamerad for wearing a stupid hat. and I double denounce Comrade Joe, for denouncing me. I denounce Comrade 9 for posting pictures of the Obamessiah.



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc
Director of kicking doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the faith

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I denounce ME! Pinkie! Dahlink! How could I have missed you? I am enamored of your golden shovel and no one deserves a golden shovel more than you do. Except when Meow and I decide that it needs to be put in the Rancho de Rio Grande Museum--for safekeeping of course. It is at least 14K, isn't it? I mean, plate won't do. Please check to see if the scratches show a different color. There's a lamb.

But to be frank, would I be denounced if said that we're all being drama queens in all this denunciation? It's fun I know to denounce people, because when they go you might get things they have that you want. But is all this denunciation just an excuse not to get on with the serious business of calumniating the innocent, robbing from the wealthy, and in general making the biggest possible assholes of ourselves?

Just curious. Don't have me because I'm denouncing denunciation.

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Denounce Comrade Clooney as a traitor of the Revolution's cause to spread equality! Last year he worked 5 times and I worked only 3! If he had given me one of his jobs he could have spread the wealth, created equality and offset his carbons!

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Comrade Joe, who has yet to learn when to keep his big yap shut, blurted:

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE FOR HAVING A GOLDEN SHOVEL!

Comrade Joe, I might ignore your misplaced denunciation on the grounds that because you're fairly new, you may not realize that my golden shovel was presented to me by Our Leader Most Glorious, Red Square, the Great Incarnadine Trapezoid, The Man With The Hand That Holds The Cube, Dealer of My Opiate, etc etc. Yes, I might ignore your gaffe if I were not Commissarka Pinkie. But I am, there it is, and therefore . . .

WHACK!

Learn your place and never mouth off at me again. Which I don't expect you will, since I just demolished your jaw. Now pick up your teeth before I change my mind and give them to the Chairman to sell.

Now, DDR Kamerad--you whined:

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE for not having given my Bolshevik Be-otch Bodyguard Brigade personally autographed shovels.

Thanks for the reminder that I did this for you last month: I DENOUNCE DDR KAMERAD FOR SELLING SHOVELS AUTOGRAPHED BY ME ON E-BAY.

And I agree with Red Star about your hat. You look like Pope Benedict.
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I'll bet you wear red shoes like he does, too. And since I seem to be on a whacking streak here . . .

WHACK!

Not even a red hat can spare you.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Comrade Joe, who has yet to learn when to keep his big yap shut, blurted:

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE FOR HAVING A GOLDEN SHOVEL!

Comrade Joe, I might ignore your misplaced denunciation on the grounds that because you're fairly new, you may not realize that my golden shovel was presented to me by Our Leader Most Glorious, Red Square, the Great Incarnadine Trapezoid, The Man With The Hand That Holds The Cube, Dealer of My Opiate, etc etc. Yes, I might ignore your gaffe if I were not Commissarka Pinkie. But I am, there it is, and therefore . . .

WHACK!

Learn your place and never mouth off at me again. Which I don't expect you will, since I just demolished your jaw. Now pick up your teeth before I change my mind and give them to the Chairman to sell.

My jaw was unhurt, Commissarka. This may be due to the fact that I anticipated your response (that's the only way you react to anything) and thus left behind a dummy for you to whack. If you wish to come and get the real me, my machine gun and I will be waiting.

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I DENOUNCE ALL HERE for failure to show their license to denounce!

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CRAP Card..... I Don't Leave Home Without It!

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I DENOUNCE YOU for having a license to denounce.

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Hah, Comrade Poopovich must not have attended the proper re-education courses! Note how he misspelled "Revolutionary!" No brainwashing program worth its beet juice would have missed that most important word! I therefore condemn his "license" as an outright forgery!

I DENOUNCE MARSHAL POOCHOVICH for sticking his nose in publicly inappropriate places.

I dodge your fumbling attempts to brain me with your entrenching tool, dear fool Pinkie! For not only am I a master pistol marksman, I am also an accomplished fencer!

*Swing* *Swing* HA! My demented grandmother has more agility! And she's six feet under!

*Swing* My, my, my...I hope you're better at hitting ditches!

*Swing* *Swing* Maybe you'd do better with a rolling pin? That is, after all, a proper woman's tool.

*Clang* *Swish* **Stick** Textbook parry and riposte! And you now have a scar to remember me by! Now run, before I get all Inigo on your potato-swollen posterior.

And, by the way, Ratzinger is wrapped around my little finger! That hat is a sign of his loyalty to ME!

*Doh!* Ah, my beotches, why do you look at me so? I know nothing about shovels and e-bay, that is pure lies! Listen not to the Pink Strumpet.

Where did you get THOSE shov--*Whack* *Beat* *ding* *crump* *smack* *oof!*

*cough* Man, this is gonna take a month to recover from...

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DDR Kamerad wrote:Hah, Comrade Poopovich must not have attended the proper re-education courses! Note how he misspelled "Revolutionary!" No brainwashing program worth its beet juice would have missed that most important word! I therefore condemn his "license" as an outright forgery!

Oh Comrade? You claim that you see what? Clearly you have forgotten a most basic Party doctrine.... one which I will leave for the remedial goons at the KMRC to "pound" into your head. The line to your bus forms on the left. Oh. and you may need some Peoples Glasses as well. How many paws am I holding up?

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...can I denounce someone too? (oooh, the rush of power is causing a lightness in my head: oh, losing consciousness... I denounce... I denounceeeeeeeeeeee {BONK}

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AbecedariusRex wrote:...can I denounce someone too? (oooh, the rush of power is causing a lightness in my head: oh, losing consciousness... I denounce... I denounceeeeeeeeeeee {BONK}

I DENOUNCE ABECEDARIUSREX for being so weak he cannot even DENOUNCE someone without fainting. I also search him for anything of value.

Tater
I denounce myself since this is my first ever post here...and now that I'm denounced I'm to the level of everybody else here.

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Comrade Joe wrote:
AbecedariusRex wrote:...can I denounce someone too? (oooh, the rush of power is causing a lightness in my head: oh, losing consciousness... I denounce... I denounceeeeeeeeeeee {BONK}

I DENOUNCE ABECEDARIUSREX for being so weak he cannot even DENOUNCE someone without fainting. I also search him for anything of value.

I roll a D20, and get a 16. According to the People's Playbook (where all is equal, and there is no loser) I get to roll again. I roll the D20 again and get a 3. Now I get to denounce a comrade of my choice AND dig in the beet field for an extra hour a day for a week! Yay! I denounce Comrade Joe for inspiring me to write this reply!

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I DENOUNCE THE COLLEGE CO-ED WHO JUST JOGGED BY MY FRONT WINDOW WEARING TIGHT AND REVEALING CLOTHING! She should be wearing dirty and baggy clothes and making a thoroughly unwashed protest demanding the immediate arrest and trial of anyone who voted for anybody other than His Obamaness as an accessory to Bush's War Crimes! Either that, or she should shorten her circuit to just my block!

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Comrade7.62 wrote:
Comrade Joe wrote:
AbecedariusRex wrote:...can I denounce someone too? (oooh, the rush of power is causing a lightness in my head: oh, losing consciousness... I denounce... I denounceeeeeeeeeeee {BONK}

I DENOUNCE ABECEDARIUSREX for being so weak he cannot even DENOUNCE someone without fainting. I also search him for anything of value.

I roll a D20, and get a 16. According to the People's Playbook (where all is equal, and there is no loser) I get to roll again. I roll the D20 again and get a 3. Now I get to denounce a comrade of my choice AND dig in the beet field for an extra hour a day for a week! Yay! I denounce Comrade Joe for inspiring me to write this reply!

I DENOUNCE COMRADE 7.62 for DENOUNCING me. Also, he used an unequal dice that features evil capitalist numbers, rather than People's Math. I propose he be put on trial for this crime.

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I denounce Comrade 7.62 for being -1.38 equal than me.

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Heaving sigh, I denounce all the idiots who've outlived their usefulness but haven't been purged...yet

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Tater wrote:I denounce myself since this is my first ever post here...and now that I'm denounced I'm to the level of everybody else here.



Welcome Comrade Tater, with a name like that, you will certainly fit in well onthe Collective farm. We have an overabundance of beets, but taters arealways needed for the prole's vodka need. Your self denunciation shows that the Progressive Force is strong in you. But rules are rules. Welcome to the Cube, you may collect your blunt shovel from the guard and get in the line to the left. You will be washed down in the People's Shower to rid your self of any possible "bugs" and initial capitalist delousement. The bus will take you to the Karl Marx Re-Education Center where for those who survive, will begin to get in touch with their "Inner Comrade."


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How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Comrade

Get a firm grip of your proletarian shovel and make several slow,deep and heavy digs, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Dig in peace and love for the common good until you start experiencing the people's pain, suffering, and hatred of the class enemy, its running dogs, and capitalism in general. Keep digging until the need for self-sacrifice overwhelms you. Breathe out selfishness,self-esteem, personal responsibility, and any thoughtcrimes that may have been haunting you. Allow shame, despair, guilt for your very existence, and blind faith in the Party doctrine to spread from the top of your head, all the way down to the tips of your fingers and toes,erasing every curvy line in your brain. This should take about five hours of uninterrupted self-criticism.

Once you feel totally guilty, worthless, and fearful, imagine yourself as a powerful Commissar in charge of purges, disappearances,and composting. Look into the piercing eyes of this Commissar and ask yourself these questions:

If you were a Commissar looking down at this worthless piece of crap with a shovel (you), what would you say to him/her/it?

- Will you be disgusted and feel an urge to squash this human stain for the common good?
- Will you denounce him/her/it as Enemy of the People?
- Will you want to promote him/her/it to the rank of your assistant in charge of composting Enemies of the People?
- Will you reward him/her/it with an extra rationing coupon?
- Or will you see something in those eyes that will turn your feet cold with fear and you will fall on your knees and announce the advent of the New Leader, Friend of People, and Father of Nations?

Once you know a clear answer to those questions, your self-criticism session is complete. You have discovered your Inner Comrade

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Comrade 9 wrote:I denounce Comrade 7.62 for being -1.38 equal than me.

I denounce Comrade 9 for thinking a 9 trumps a 7.62

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Comrade Joe wrote: I DENOUNCE COMRADE 7.62 for DENOUNCING me. Also, he used an unequal dice that features evil capitalist numbers, rather than People's Math. I propose he be put on trial for this crime.

I denounce Comrade Joe for failing to see that while the die I used had capitalist numbers on them (nobody makes a People's Die yet. Hmmm might be a good side business to The People's Rifle, The People's Bayonet, and The People's Militia Squeegee...) that I used THE PEOPLE'S PLAYBOOK ™ in which in good Socialist tradition, nobody is a winner or loser, all are equal. You notice I got to denounce you AND spend extra time in the beet field, thus nobody wins or loses.

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I denounce comrade the Al Frankenstien monster, for practicing good democratic tactics and swinging a close election around to them, and for keeping Minnesota's long running streak of a democrat winning every election which required a recount (I can't find an article, but it's true).

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Tater wrote:I denounce myself since this is my first ever post here...and now that I'm denounced I'm to the level of everybody else here.



Welcome Comrade Tater, with a name like that, you will certainly fit in well onthe Collective farm. We have an overabundance of beets, but taters arealways needed for the prole's vodka need. Your self denunciation shows that the Progressive Force is strong in you. But rules are rules. Welcome to the Cube, you may collect your blunt shovel from the guard and get in the line to the left. You will be washed down in the People's Shower to rid your self of any possible "bugs" and initial capitalist delousement. The bus will take you to the Karl Marx Re-Education Center where for those who survive, will begin to get in touch with their "Inner Comrade."


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How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Comrade

Get a firm grip of your proletarian shovel and make several slow,deep and heavy digs, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Dig in peace and love for the common good until you start experiencing the people's pain, suffering, and hatred of the class enemy, its running dogs, and capitalism in general. Keep digging until the need for self-sacrifice overwhelms you. Breathe out selfishness,self-esteem, personal responsibility, and any thoughtcrimes that may have been haunting you. Allow shame, despair, guilt for your very existence, and blind faith in the Party doctrine to spread from the top of your head, all the way down to the tips of your fingers and toes,erasing every curvy line in your brain. This should take about five hours of uninterrupted self-criticism.

Once you feel totally guilty, worthless, and fearful, imagine yourself as a powerful Commissar in charge of purges, disappearances,and composting. Look into the piercing eyes of this Commissar and ask yourself these questions:

If you were a Commissar looking down at this worthless piece of crap with a shovel (you), what would you say to him/her/it?

- Will you be disgusted and feel an urge to squash this human stain for the common good?
- Will you denounce him/her/it as Enemy of the People?
- Will you want to promote him/her/it to the rank of your assistant in charge of composting Enemies of the People?
- Will you reward him/her/it with an extra rationing coupon?
- Or will you see something in those eyes that will turn your feet cold with fear and you will fall on your knees and announce the advent of the New Leader, Friend of People, and Father of Nations?

Once you know a clear answer to those questions, your self-criticism session is complete. You have discovered your Inner Comrade

I DENOUNCE PUPOVICH FOR NOT GIVING ME THE THOROUGHLY EQUAL PEOPLE'S WELCOME TO THE PEOPLE'S CUBE WHEN THE MOTHERSHIP DROPPED ME OFF LAST NOVEMBERISH!

-OV

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And I must again denounce you, Vodkavitch for screaming at the Marshal, and for double posting!

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And I denounce Che for using unequal highlighting in his reply to Vodkavitch. Italics, red color, and bold font? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Some of your letters are not equal to others there Che.

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I bring you Socialist greetings from the Stepps of Wyomingstan to all my fellow and fellowette travelers. May the light of the great O shine on you. As one new to the Socialist order I ask your forbearance and ask if I may bring a shovel acquired from my capitalist dog landlady? I would however be honored if Komrade Pinkie would place her most honored autograph upon it.

Now Komrades, if we denounce everyone who will be left to denounce. You have denounced each other as I am sure to be denounced. After all, isn't this the hope and change we have all been hoping for?

As not to be viewed as a counter revolutionary I shall also denounce myself as a denouncer of fellow and fellowete denouncers.

Viva la Revolution!!!

If there is to be a revolution, let it begin with me

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Obamissar Vodkavich wrote:I DENOUNCE PUPOVICH FOR NOT GIVING ME THE THOROUGHLY EQUAL PEOPLE'S WELCOME TO THE PEOPLE'S CUBE WHEN THE MOTHERSHIP DROPPED ME OFF LAST NOVEMBERISH!

Comrade, it is possible that I overlooked you in that for a while, I confused your name with the arch Criminal Commissar Vodkovich. After further investigation, I conclude that you are not the same ThoughtCriminal™. However, you have now committed ThoughtCrime™ for allegedly denouncing an Inner Circle more equal without possession of a Class 1 permit, not to mention by making the error in assuming that a highly placed Party official such as I, as opposed to a lowly prole who assumed a rank upon coming into the collective, am responsible for welcoming all newcomers to the Cube. My introductory welcome to the Cube is entirely done at my whim. It is completely unrelated to any duty either implied or specified, generally done on days that my butt doesn't itch or when the proper level of groveling and denial of self worth has been expressed. Therefore, while it pains me to do this, as I am not one easily moved to going negative, unless of course there is money involved, power to be grabbed at, souls to destroy, children or small animals to enslave, you leave me no choice....

I DENOUNCE (self titled) Obamssar Vodkavich!

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Kommizzar of Wyomingstan wrote:I bring you Socialist greetings from the Stepps of Wyomingstan to all my fellow and fellowette travelers.

Great Stalin's Ghost! What is it with these new proles Comrades? Coming into the collective and taking on the illusion of rank, even if spelling is non-approved?

Kommizzar, I do welcome you to the cube, but I suggest you find my previous welcome, pick up your shovel, work hard in your KMRC boot camp, and then work your way toward the top by groveling, bootlicking powerful sponsors, perhaps some well placed backstabbing, contributions always come in handy etc, Then perhaps, the Party will promote you from the moldy, rat infested peasant hut that you currently inhabit.

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I DENOUNCE KOMMIZZAR OF WYOMINGSTAN FOR MALE CHAUVINIST GREETING!!

I DENOUNCE MYSELF FOR CHUCKLING OVER PRESIDENT HOPEY MCCHANGE ENTIRELY TOO MUCH!!

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Komrade Marshal,

We of the Free Republik of Wyomingstan have long been accustomed to leading. We have also learned to never show fear and showing fear in this collective would be an invitation to be savagely pounced upon.

As a proud member of the Imperialist Nation's Marine Corps for nearly half my life I also find it hard to fear anyone or anything.

With all this said Komrade Marshal, I humbly bow to your rank and ask your benevolence to my lowly station. I am a patient man Komrade Marshal.

Semper Fi Komrades

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Kommizzar of Wyomingstan wrote:I bring you Socialist greetings from the Stepps of Wyomingstan to all my fellow and fellowette travelers.

Great Stalin's Ghost! What is it with these new proles Comrades? Coming into the collective and taking on the illusion of rank, even if spelling is non-approved?

Kommizzar, I do welcome you to the cube, but I suggest you find my previous welcome, pick up your shovel, work hard in your KMRC boot camp, and then work your way toward the top by groveling, bootlicking powerful sponsors, perhaps some well placed backstabbing, contributions always come in handy etc, Then perhaps, the Party will promote you from the moldy, rat infested peasant hut that you currently inhabit.
I agree whole-hearted with you Marshal Pupovich, it's bothering me to see these non-Inner Party comrades call themselves "commissars" or something along that, since speling no r important.

Therefore, I DENOUNCE ALL NON INNER PARTY COMRADES WHO CLAIM INNER PARTY STATUS.

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I thank you for your denouncing Komrade Red Jim. It was so richly deserved. I shall endeavor to be as un-chauvinistic in the future. As I treat all Komrades as equals in our Socialist society.

I return the denouncing back to you for the chuckling at our dear and revered leader. Though at times, OK all the time I must admit I do the same...

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Comrade7.62 wrote:
Comrade 9 wrote:I denounce Comrade 7.62 for being -1.38 equal than me.

I denounce Comrade 9 for thinking a 9 trumps a 7.62

Heh. But a 120mm Rheinmetall trumps them both! Then you have the Navy boys boasting about the 16" guns they resurrected several years ago.

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Commissar_Elliott

As stated to Komrade Marshal Pupovich I do humbly bow to you also.

I state before the Inner Party Komrades that here in the Free Republik of Wyomingstan we are equal in our Socialist Socialism. In my part of Wyomingstan I am a Komizzar of the local Shooting Sports Collective. Perhaps a Socialist correct name would be, "A Kommizzar in Wyomingstan.

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Komrades

I have noticed that in this barnyard some Komrades are more equal than others. I therefore have changed my name as not to offend anyone.

Semper Gumby

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KomradeGunny N Wyominstan wrote:Commissar_Elliott

As stated to Komrade Marshal Pupovich I do humbly bow to you also.

I state before the Inner Party Komrades that here in the Free Republik of Wyomingstan we are equal in our Socialist Socialism. In my part of Wyomingstan I am a Komizzar of the local Shooting Sports Collective. Perhaps a Socialist correct name would be, "A Kommizzar in Wyomingstan.
Kommizzar of Wyomingstan wrote:Commissar_Elliott

As stated to Komrade Marshal Pupovich I do humbly bow to you also.

I state before the Inner Party Komrades that here in the Free Republik of Wyomingstan we are equal in our Socialist Socialism. In my part of Wyomingstan I am a Komizzar of the local Shooting Sports Collective. Perhaps a Socialist correct name would be, "A Kommizzar in Wyomingstan.
I suppose Wyomingstan is different than the Republic of Minnesota. We are equal, but those of the Inner Party hold powers over the prols because we have all agreed to it, this is the elementary principle of The Leviathan.

Long story short, while we are equal, Marshal Pupovich is right, it is not right to self promote yourself.

I'm also going to have a field day with this "Shooting Sports Collective". You'd beter be using the People's Rifle, or it better be "shooting" dirt clumps with your shovel. If it's not, I'll send our MTE (Many Tited Empress (Hillary Clinton)) after you.

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KomradeGunny N Wyominstan wrote:Komrades

I have noticed that in this barnyard some Komrades are more equal than others. I therefore have changed my name as not to offend anyone.

Semper Gumby
Bravo, now you are as equal as more equal people.

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Commissar_Elliott

As much as I should use the people's rifle, I must admit that I have taken the rifle of the Imperialists to my heart and soul, which as a good Socialist I no longer have. I will cling to my little black toy rifle until I can cling no longer for I shall have assumed room temperature.

I always knew I would die fighting for my country, I never thought I would die fighting my government.

Semper Gumby

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though i'm from the land of snow
i was born a learned rex
when the wind begins to blow
that is when i think of ... um... what rhymes with rex?

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Komrade Gunny N Wyominstan,
I would sleep standing up if you even want a shot at escaping the thoughtpolice. I'm sending a squad, scratch that, two to Wyominstan as we speak!

Comrade AbecedariusRex,
As a fellow Meennesootan, I've got a few rhymes for you:
sex
hex
sax
decks
facts
I've got a few more if you need them.

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Komrade Commissar_Elliott

Please Komrade, by all means send them. I own 4 of the Imperialist weapons. 3 of them I use for competition, when your thought police come, they will find out what the 4th one is for. But then you already know that Komrade.


 
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