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My Progressive Experiment Derailed by Nature

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Comrades,as you may recall I've been attempting to create a new class of voters in time for the elections of 2010 by introducing my backyard squirrels to the joys of Socialism. Each morning I deliver unto them their daily peanuts and in return they give me their undivided loyalty.

I had thought that freed from their old Capitalist drudgery of having to struggle to find nuts and seeds they would turn their attention to higher goals like the arts, science, political thought and activism.

Alas, without competitiveness and the incentive to excel they have lost all ambition.

They've turned to strong drink and spend their days laying about engaged in all manner of vice. Was this not the same result when this grand experiment was tried in our glorious Soviet Motherland?

I am totally perplexed by this outcome and seek the advice of any of my fellow travelers on how I might reverse this sad trend.

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Comrade Whoopie



Do not torture yourself, dear Comrade.

ACORN has done the same thing for years. Why do you think their logo is an ... ACORN? Hello?

The next step is to get the squirrels to canvas the underage prostitute and pimp voter demographic. I commend you for your efforts.

As long as the squirrels drink Vodka, and smoke cigarettes from the glorious Motherland, all is well.

Cigarettes_Russian_Poster.jpg

In fact, smoking makes you more manly, as the above illustration clearly implies. And it has been estimated that your Dear Leader's habit won him an extra 2.75% of the Female Demographic Vote.

[img]/images/Obama_Cigarette.jpg[/img]

Amandla!

Obamugabe

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Comrade Whoopie, you are not posessed of ordinary proletarian squirrels here; these squirrels are elite leadership squirrels. One of these squirrels could become the next Ted Kennedy and soon be helping Chris Dodd make waitress sandwiches! These squirrels must be rounded up immediately and sent to Party HQ for intense instruction on Marxist dogma and cocktail-party attendance. They must be made ready to replace retiring blue dogs in several 2010 Congressional races!

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I don't see what the problem is with squirrels which do nothing--they are ripe for induction into the UAW. Or a federal government union. Why do you think that virtue has anything to do with industry? In fact it is the opposite. Virtue is the <i>opposite</i> of industry.

Industrious people are troublesome because they have a good sense of themselves. They have self worth. Whereas people who are identified only by groups have no sense of self worth and are easily manipulable, meaning that they're just what we need.

So bring on the drunk squirrels. Let some other sorry bastards pay for them because as long as we get the drunk-squirrel vote we're doing just fine.

And we'll never get the vote of people who do their own work, are proud, and self-reliant.

Because they have no use for us, the Made Progressives.

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Excellent Post Commissar Theocritus! May our MTE bless your wobbled tripes.
- Supreme Commander of Thread Jacking & Stuffed Mice Toys(TM)

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Comrade Whoopie,

The answer you seek is meth laced nuts. That's right, give these squirrels some meth laced nuts and they'll be fixing your scooter, renovating your house, making obscene artistic statements, and building on the theory of Keynesian Economics.

Lace it with some coke and you'll have indivisible super squirls poppin' back forties and takin' on the hood in storm!

Give that Squirrel a Screw for The People!

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Red Rooster wrote:Comrade Whoopie,

The answer you seek is meth laced nuts. That's right, give these squirrels some meth laced nuts and they'll be fixing your scooter, renovating your house, making obscene artistic statements, and building on the theory of Keynesian Economics.

Lace it with some coke and you'll have indivisible super squirls poppin' back forties and takin' on the hood in storm!

Give that Squirrel a Screw for The People!
Red Rooster,

You know, Red, I think I just passed a kidney stone, expelled simply by laughing at your most excellent advice to our dear Comrade Whoopie regarding meth-laced nuts for her his squirrels, etc. Good thing, too, because I know I would have to wait weeks, perhaps months, in all that pain, to deal with it in an actual hospital. Such a waste of the People's money! Proof, once again, that the Collective Works!

Gender correction applied by Comrade Whoopie (I don't want any of our lonely male comrades hitting on me, not that I wouldn't be flattered, but I don't swing that way...not that I'm anti-gay either, I just mean...oh never mind).

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Pay the drunk squirrels a subsidy not to pick nuts.

Since they won't be working, we'll have to pay them unemployment.

And since their intoxication has left them too disabled to work, we must also pay them SSI.

Then we bring in Undocumented Squirrels from south of the border to pick the nuts for mere peanuts.

But because they won't be able to live on those peanuts, the compassionate thing to do will be to give them subsidies for their rent and utilities, etc., enough to make them comfortable so they won't bother with trying to become Documented Squirrels and finding a job with better pay.

We can still register them to vote, however, as they have just as much a stake in the election outcome as any other creature on the planet. That's one advantage--perhaps the only advantage--of being an exceptional superpower whose policies affect the entire world population.

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Comrade Whoopie,

I have to tell you Comrade you made a little flaw with your initial experiment. You have turned hard working squirrels into totally dependent on you lazy bums. A most worthy achievement! Though you had to expectation that they would now devote their squirrel activities to a much higher purpose and create a new squirrel utopia, a rational assumption of course, but you haven't quite gave them the proper incentive to get busy to pursue a higher lofty purpose.

Might I suggest that you might show them this product from this fine company, and pass on to your squirrels that this has REALLY piked your interest as of late.

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You'll get some fine socialist productivity out of em in no time now, after they get a gander at this new hobby of yours.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:That's one advantage--perhaps the only advantage--of being an exceptional superpower whose policies affect the entire world population.

Thanks for reminding me why we're so hell bent to destroy Capitalist America rather than simply moving to a country that's already Socialist. Well, that and the fact that Socialist nations suck already enjoy the fruits of our collective ideology which we are duty bound to inflict on bring to America.

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Comrades, the posts in this thread have given me a horrible thought: how do we redistribute wealth when there is nothing left to redistribute? Whom can we take from when no one has anything? Whom do we give to when everyone is in the oppressed class? What happens to an economy, to a society when everyone has their hand out? Lenin told us, "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need" but the squirrels' example leads me to think at some point no one will have any abilities and everyone will have NEEDS which the state must still satisfy. But with what? Does our brilliantly designed glorious utopia simply collapse at that point?

Sorry, didn't mean to ruin everyone's Kwanzaa with this bogus reality rant. Oooh, Oprah reruns are on....

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Opiate, I too have pondered this, wondering what will happen once America has joined the rest of the world in embracing socialism. Who to turn to if attacked by another nation, or struck by a devastating earthquake or tsunami?

Then I hit myself with my shovel, thus reminding myself that once the entire world becomes socialist, all those problems will go away--war, weapons, disasters, conservatives.

But you also raise a good point about the wealth, specifically money. And I have the answer right here:

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In fact, I'd like to put the squirrels to work making a whole bunch of these things. Of course we'll replace the picture of that spiky haired woman with Obama.

And for those demanding transparency in government, we'll give them (subject to payment of processing and shipping fees) these:

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Meanwhile, I wonder if Whoopie has considered redirecting his experiment from squirrels to Amazing Sea Monkeys?

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Excellent work, Pinkie! If we run out of money, we just print bills with more zeros on them! Gosh, if you have been using TurboTax incorrectly and not paying your taxes for a few years, perhaps you can be the next Treasury Secretary!

And you know, when I was a young revolutionary, I bought those X-Ray specs from the imperialist comic book fat cats with money I redistributed from my proletarian parents. They didn't work (I was unable to see thru any of the girls' clothes I was trying to look thru) but I learned a valuable lesson: only the government can make extremely dubious concepts viable.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Image
Comrades,as you may recall I've been attempting to create a new class of voters in time for the elections of 2010 by introducing my backyard squirrels to the joys of Socialism. Each morning I deliver unto them their daily peanuts and in return they give me their undivided loyalty.

I had thought that freed from their old Capitalist drudgery of having to struggle to find nuts and seeds they would turn their attention to higher goals like the arts, science, political thought and activism.Alas,without competitiveness and the incentive to excel they have lost all ambition.They've turned to strong drink and spend their days laying about engaged in all manner of vice. Was this not the same result when this grand experiment was tried in our glorious Soviet Motherland?

I am totally perplexed by this outcome and seek the advice of any of my fellow travelers on how I might reverse this sad trend.

Comrade Whoopie,

This is what you get when you hand a squirrel his nuts on a silver platter.

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Whoopie wrote:Gender correction applied by Comrade Whoopie (I don't want any of our lonely male comrades hitting on me, not that I wouldn't be flattered, but I don't swing that way...not that I'm anti-gay either, I just mean...oh never mind).
Don't worry, Whoopie, don't worry. But please do consider for a second that just because a comrade might be gay it does not follow that he's a sex god. Or devil. If you could see me you'd laugh yourself silly at the idea. Or a monster with uncontrollable hands. And also I don't desire every male any more than you desire every female. I've been eating at the Gordon Ramsay restaurant in West Hollywood and all the waiters are pretty obviously marking time until their debut on the silver screen, and all I do is smile. And place my order.

Whoopie, I denounce you for showing a drunk squirrel smoking. What will people think of our governing class? What will people think of Comradette Nanski?

You know that Nanski Peloski has her own 757 with 40 business-class seats, a media room, which shows progressive favorites like documentaries on Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen (I will <i>not</i> apologize for that), and her own private bedroom.

That thing is a flying nuthouse. When that thing's off the ground there are more squirrels in the air than in Hermann Park in Houston.

BTW, please tell me how that thing flies. If Nanski treats that bedroom the way she treats my bedroom at the Rancho, it would bring the plane down in five minutes.

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Are you saying that Comrade Whoopie should have rather created a kind of squirrel Potemkin village?

Well, anyway, what should Comrade Whoopie have done about this problem?

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Oh dear. Are we going to be flashed by Secret Squirrel? It seems that we are. He's not packing much heat, though, is he?

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You haven't seen the the thing strapped on his back!


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Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Meanwhile, I wonder if Whoopie has considered redirecting his experiment from squirrels to Amazing Sea Monkeys?

Actually Pinkie those were the subjects of my early experiments. And I was having great success too until comrade Barney Fwank dropped by to visit and in a fit of thirst, accidentally swallowed all my sea men.

(They don't like being called monkeys, it hurts their self esteem)

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Perhaps the problem is that nobody is properly controlling the handouts to the squirrels. We need a system of squirrel commissars who determine the appropriate handout to each squirrel, and also what each squirrel must contribute to the Greater Good(TM). Needless to say the commissars will require assistants and enforcers to ensure their orders are carried out.

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We need to provide federal handout stimulus programs for squirrels.

Unearned Nut Tax Credit - provides nuts to squirrels who haven't bothered to find any
Cash for Carters* - turn in your empty nut shell and get $4000 towards a new nut
Making Nut Work Pay - we give squirrel some nuts this year and charge him extra taxes next
Nut Stamps - squirrels below the nut poverty line can use these to buy lottery tickets, imported caviar and booze
Aid to Families With Dependent Pups - squirrels who have relatives move in with them can qualify for free nuts

These programs should inspire all squirrely recipients to come out and vote for us in order to obtain still more benefits! A virtuous cycle!


*Carter: a peanut shell with no nut inside, sort of like a head of state with no brain inside.

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What about Moose? All this talk about squirrels, but moose is left out. You simply *cannot* have squirrel without moose.

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Comrade Whoopie,

I've got it!

Instead of vodka rations we legalize pot and give them pot rations instead!

Think of all the new brilliant Daily Kos posts that this would inspire !!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Comrade Snoogie,

Then they would get the munchies and beg for even more nuts.

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Dag nab it Leninka,

Good point.

I DENOUNCE ALL SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I feel better now.

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Give that Squirrel a Screw for The People![/quote]Red Rooster,

Youknow, Red, I think I just passed a kidney stone, expelled simply bylaughing at your most excellent advice to our dear Comrade Whoopieregarding meth-laced nuts for her hissquirrels, etc. Good thing, too, because I know I would have to waitweeks, perhaps months, in all that pain, to deal with it in an actualhospital. Such a waste of the People's money! Proof, once again, thatthe Collective Works!

Gender correctionapplied by Comrade Whoopie (I don't want any of our lonely malecomrades hitting on me, not that I wouldn't be flattered, but I don'tswing that way...not that I'm anti-gay either, I just mean...oh nevermind).[/quote]

Comrade Whoopie,

Please forgive me, Comrade Whoopie, I understand that my gender assumption might be a big stretch, as I feel the Whoopie Goldberg thing is... I don't know quite what to say about this... this is really difficult. But, here it is, and, I know this for a fact so, this is my unsolicited advice (always a crap-shoot, and mostly ill-advised): YOU JUST CAN'T BE A SILLY FUSS-BUDGET ABOUT YOUR GENDER!!!!! This is what I have come to understand. Meaningless rhetoric. Fer sure. I mean, men and women are exactly the same, aren't they? That's what they've been telling us for, I dunno, some sixty years? I never liked it. But, I'm confused. Really confused. Howsomever, I would be most interested in a natural man. You know...sort of in this order: common sense, sweetness, "lust" and loyalty for his wife, kindness, gratitude for everything. ie, A Good Man.

Here's Hope, though:

One place I know where to go to get the answers, and am still holding out, (I'd rather die than give up my freedom) is our most glorious comrade Commissar Theocritus's well-known franchise..."Jifi-Lobo". You can get a mighty quick lobotomy from any franchise in your area. As long as it says..."Jifi-Lobo" on the sign in front. I'm having a real hard time conforming, too. But, ya gotta do watcha gotta do. No? (That is, by the way, what every idiot says when they have no clue about whatcha gotta do.) They do feel mighty good, after they tell you this, however. That's what really counts! Feelin' mighty good! I say: Go "Jifi-Lobo", you'll be mighty happy you did!

p.s. I misspelled certain words on purpose! Ha! Sue me!

With "love"

Pamalinsky

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Dear Pamalinsky, I'm so glad that you have toppled to the virtues of Jiffi-Lobo. I started that franchise when, in the middle of the night, I had these dad-gummed niggling thoughts that my progressivism was, er, pardon me, utter and complete, self-referential, solipsistic, vicious and stupid shit.

But because I'm a Made Progressive, I knew that couldn't be, because then I'd be, er, self-referential, solipsistic, vicious and stupid. And I'm not. Pardon me while I go into the bathroom and puff out my chest.

There. I'm back. So I had to have Jiffi-Lobo. It resolves all those pesky problems of cognitive dissonance and so plague the progressive.

Opiate wrote:Carter: a peanut shell with no nut inside, sort of like a head of state with no brain inside.
I think that we can agree that James Earl Carter is an empty shell, that is if you cannot find any physical evidence that can we weighed or measured about hating AmeriKKKa, or self-importance. Bear in mind that Jimmy held the title from 1980 until 2008 as being the worst president in American history, and we never throw high achievers overboard.

But we should be very careful before we state that there is no nut on the inside. I believe that evidence will show that there is every single form of nut available on the inside: the pecan, the walnut, the brazil nut, and even the peanut, which is not properly a nut but for the purposes of Jimmih I am willing to classify as a nut. It is a legume, like the soy bean or the carob, which is out of fashion for rotting hippie teeth. I can see Jimmih as a legume. I can see him as a nut. I can see him as a tuber. I can see him as a rotting tuber. I can see him as a turnip.

So never say that there is nothing on the inside with Jimmih Carter. There is nothing that is nothing. Pardon me while I step into the bathroom again but this time flush the toilet. Which seems to be dentulous.

Let's take a moment to ponder the dilemma of Jimmih Carter. For 28 years he was without question the worst president in American history, and in only one year Obowma, PBUH, has managed to take that one in a trifecta. How galling to have your life's work taken away by a man who has done thing but display a natural ability to be a Pussy President?

Jimmih couldn't get the hostages out of Iran. Obowma can't assemble a model rocket.

I've got it! Let's ask Obowma to fold a piece of foolscap paper (he knows a <i>lot</i> about that) into a paper airplane! That will prove that he's a genius, and he'll get the Nobel for physics!

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No problem Pamalinsky. I just don't want the guys calling me "dear" or Sweetie" or "honey" or "darlin"...even though I'm all of those things. Or thinking they can nail me just because they agreed with one of my posts. I'm not that easy.

As for Jimmah Cawta being an empty shell. I'd say he was more like one of them big peanuts you bust open only to find a tiny shriveled little pea inside that's all rubbery and tastes awful.

However, inside every progressive there's a nut waiting to bust out and take root.

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I DENOUNCE ALL SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it's about time!

The Party™ has known about said Squirrel for years and there are two approved ways of disposing of said Squirrel.

Method #1
<br>Method #2

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Image Comrades,as you may recall I've been attempting to create a new class of voters in time for the elections of 2010 by introducing my backyard squirrels to the joys of Socialism. Each morning I deliver unto them their daily peanuts and in return they give me their undivided loyalty.

I had thought that freed from their old Capitalist drudgery of having to struggle to find nuts and seeds they would turn their attention to higher goals like the arts, science, political thought and activism.Alas,without competitiveness and the incentive to excel they have lost all ambition.They've turned to strong drink and spend their days laying about engaged in all manner of vice. Was this not the same result when this grand experiment was tried in our glorious Soviet Motherland?

I am totally perplexed by this outcome and seek the advice of any of my fellow travelers on how I might reverse this sad trend.


No problem, just make sure they know whom to vote for.

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I have flagged this matter to the PDETA (The People's Department of Ethical Treatment of Animals).

All of you should be receiving a notice soon, and appear before The Collective for lynch mobbing. Experimenting on The People's Squirrels is not accepted by The Trinity.

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Whoopie wrote:However, inside every progressive there's a nut waiting to bust out and take root.
Perhaps so, but I never met a nut that I didn't want to eat and never found a Progressive that I didn't want to murder.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dear Pamalinsky, I'm so glad that you have toppled to the virtues of Jiffi-Lobo. I started that franchise when, in the middle of the night, I had these dad-gummed niggling thoughts that my progressivism was, er, pardon me, utter and complete, self-referential, solipsistic, vicious and stupid shit.

But because I'm a Made Progressive, I knew that couldn't be, because then I'd be, er, self-referential, solipsistic, vicious and stupid. And I'm not. Pardon me while I go into the bathroom and puff out my chest.

There. I'm back. So I had to have Jiffi-Lobo. It resolves all those pesky problems of cognitive dissonance and so plague the progressive.
______________________________________________________

My most esteemed, Commissar Theocritus,

NOT SO FAST, MY MOST RESPECTED COMRADE THEOCRITUS! While I did give you a most shameless plug for your ever-growing franchises, I, Pamalinsky, have not yet succumbed to your most glorious offer, aka Jiffi-Lobo! I have the most glorious reasons for this (an innate desire to be free). Most of which you will never know. (Secrets are my stock-and-trade). Okay, I may have tilted a bit, heh, heh, but I have not yet toppled! How dare you! For your information, "Topple" is not in my vocabulary." (I take this as real advice from one our great leaders, Nanski Peloski, and I quote, "Fear is not in my vocabulary.") Perhaps you can offer me a deal here. No? Well then, I may, or may not, depending on my mood, continue to promote your product. I smell something. (I love the stench of deals in the morning) I do this for "the amerikkan peeeeeeeople", of course. I'm sure you understand this. Heh, heh.

Your pal,
Pamalinsky

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:No problem Pamalinsky. I just don't want the guys calling me "dear" or Sweetie" or "honey" or "darlin"...even though I'm all of those things. Or thinking they can nail me just because they agreed with one of my posts. I'm not that easy.

As for Jimmah Cawta being an empty shell. I'd say he was more like one of them big peanuts you bust open only to find a tiny shriveled little pea inside that's all rubbery and tastes awful.

However, inside every progressive there's a nut waiting to bust out and take root.

______________

I understand, Comrade Whoopie. Really. I do. Your secret is safe with me, comrade! I'm just nuts about the Collective!!! Really nuts!!! I trust you know this.
Your pal,
Pamalinsky

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Dear, esteemed Pamalinsky. You have not yet come to appreciate Jiffi-Lobo. Wait until, in the middle of the night, the cognitive dissonance screams and you realize that you are screaming.

Do you think that Nanski Peloski could have risen to her empyrean heights had she not had Jiffi-Lobo? Everything that that stupid, conniving, vicious great progressive does causes anyone with the self-awareness of an oyster to scream, "That does not compute!"

Jiffi-Lobo is the only solution if you want to be a made progressive. Which I assume you do. Because it saves wear and tear on the mind, the morals, and the ethics.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dear, esteemed Pamalinsky. You have not yet come to appreciate Jiffi-Lobo. Wait until, in the middle of the night, the cognitive dissonance screams and you realize that you are screaming.

Do you think that Nanski Peloski could have risen to her empyrean heights had she not had Jiffi-Lobo? Everything that that stupid, conniving, vicious great progressive does causes anyone with the self-awareness of an oyster to scream, "That does not compute!"

Jiffi-Lobo is the only solution if you want to be a made progressive. Which I assume you do. Because it saves wear and tear on the mind, the morals, and the ethics.

Hmmm...you do make some interesting points here, Commissar Theocritus. I don't HAVE to wait until the middle of the night dammit! Truth is, the cognitive dissonance is screaming at me 24/7! TWENTY-FOUR frigging SEVEN! I could certainly use some relief. This "holding out" thing is bloody WEARING!!

Howsomever, I recently had a bone density scan done, and found that my spine is stronger than ever! Even with all the unremitting stress and advancing years. I wondered how this can be. Yes, unlike you, a made progressive, I can still wonder about things. I do have a question for you, though. Can you wonder-wonder-who-boop-a-do-do-who...who-wrote-the-book-of-love? Yeah, I didn't think so. That's why I'm holding out. I'm holding out for a hero. Yeah, that's the ticket! That could be me. Could be you. Who knows?

This is why I would like to suggest you REVERSE your Jifi-Lobo marketing strategy! I dunno...how's about, FREE RINSE W/REVERSE BRAIN WASH with your receipt (for former Jifi Lobo customers! O.K., that sounds a little dorky, but, I'm sure you or others can come up with some great ideas! You could get big bucket loads (BBBB) of bail-out bucks for this, maybe take a little on the side? Hey, they bailed out those big ol' Squeegie manufacturers, didn't they? All of us know, full well, that you are WAY too big to fail. Get my drift?

Thank you so much for your care and constant surveillance.
Right back atcha!!!
Your pal,
Pamalinsky

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To:
ALL OF MY MOST BELOVED COMRADES, with whom I've had the opportunity to play with this year, and those I haven't. I thought you all might want to take a real good look at what we have accomplished. I do apologize for the length of this report, I want to be courteous, and, leave it all up to you, so you can click the link, or not, but, I just do not know how to do the "link" thing. Yet. And, here we are at the end of the year! I want all of you to see this! Most likely, many of you have seen it already. I assume nothing. Please indulge yourselves in spotting the most glorious accomplishments that you have contributed to yourselves. You must read every point! It will amaze you! And, as the list continues, you may even think it's a joke! It's not. You must revel in your accomplishments. This is important!
You will see that the Collective has accomplished a great deal in a short amount of time!
I wish everyone a most Happy New Year!! (I'm ready for some serious butt-kickin' in 2010!)
Love,
Pamalinsky

THE PEOPLE'S ANNUAL REPORT
Communist Goals (1963)
Documention below

Congressional Record--Appendix, pp. A34-A35
January 10, 1963
Current Communist Goals
EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, January 10, 1963

Mr. HERLONG. Mr. Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Nordman of De Land, Fla., is an ardent and articulate opponent of communism, and until recently published the De Land Courier, which she dedicated to the purpose of alerting the public to the dangers of communism in America.
At Mrs. Nordman's request, I include in the RECORD, under unanimous consent, the following "Current Communist Goals," which she identifies as an excerpt from "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen:
[From "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen]
CURRENT COMMUNIST GOALS
1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.
2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.
3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.
4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.
5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.
6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.
7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.
8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev's promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.
9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.
10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.
11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)
12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.
13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.
14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.
15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.
16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.
17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers' associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
18. Gain control of all student newspapers.
19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.
20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policymaking positions.
21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.
22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to "eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms."
23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. "Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them "censorship" and a violation of free speech and free press.
25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.
26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."
27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a "religious crutch."
28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of "separation of church and state."
29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.
30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the "common man."
31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the "big picture." Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.
32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture--education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.
33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.
34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.
35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI.
36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.
37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.
38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].
39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.
40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.
41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.
42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use ["]united force["] to solve economic, political or social problems.
43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government.
44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.
45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike.

Note by Webmaster: The Congressional Record back this far has not be digitized and posted on the Internet.
It will probably be available at your nearest library that is a federal repository. Call them and ask them.
Your college library is probably a repository. This is an excellent source of government records.
Another source are your Congress Critters. They should be more than happy to help you in this matter.

You will find the Ten Planks of the Communist Manifesto interesting at this point.
Click here to see them listed with brain-challenging comments.

Documentation

Webmaster Forest Glen Durland found the document in the library.
Sources are listed below.
The quote starts on page 259.

Microfilm:

California State University at San Jose
Clark Library, Government Floor
Phone (408)924-2770
Microfilm
Call Number:
J
11
.R5
Congressional Record, Vol. 109
88th Congress, 1st Session
Appendix Pages A1-A2842
Jan. 9-May 7, 1963
Reel 12


The book was found in the off campus stacks, was ordered and checked. The quote below was checked against the original and is correct. The few errors in the copy from the Congressional Record are shown in [ ] .

The quote starts on page 259.
California State University at San Jose, Clark Library stacks call number:
Naked Communist
HX
56
S55

Book title page:
Skousen, W. Cleon. Naked Communist
Salt Lake City, Utah: Ensign Publishing Co.
C. 1961 , 9th edition July 1961.



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As you can see 1963 has been made into 2009. Simply glorious.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:As you can see 1963 has been made into 2009. Simply glorious.
Ah, yes, my dear Colonel. I just knew you would love it!

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Thanks for the information Pamalinsky, you give good heads up.

How sad that we weren't able to save the Soviet Union. I'm sure they're untimely demise bears no relevance to our own which is impending.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Thanks for the information Pamalinsky, you give good heads up.

How sad that we weren't able to save the Soviet Union. I'm sure they're untimely demise bears no relevance to our own which is impending.

Yeah, right! Thank you, my dearest Comrade Whoopie... I noticed that very important links were not "live" in my last email to you. So, here is the main killer link! The others I'm sure you can figure out for yourself. (I am working on my blog abilities). Please forgive me.


Ten Planks of the Communist Manifesto

[Source: https://www.mediabypass.com/]

This link may be discontinued. Use your discretion. The thoughts are mind-awakening.

Copy and Paste as soon as possible!

In the early '60's during the days of the "former" Soviet Union, Russian Premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded his shoe on the podium of the United Nations and shouted to the West, "We will bury you!" Fearing an invasion from the Reds, America proceeded to build the most awesome military machine in history. Unfortunately, we forgot to guard our political homefront from being taken over by socialist - communist - liberal activists who would gain office and destroy American law by process of gradually installing the Communist agenda within our legal system and separate branches of government. The Communist program from the start has been one which sees their revolution of 1917 successful only upon total domination of the world. (See Brain Washing, A Synthesis of the Russian Textbook on Psychopolitics)

Americans, being the most naive people among the nations, now believe that Communism is dead because the Berlin Wall and the Iron Curtain have been removed. The ironic truth is that Communism has just switched names to become more "politically correct". Today it is called international democracy. The reason that the Berlin Wall came crashing down is not because Communism is dead but because they have achieved the planned agenda to communize the West, including America. Washington D.C. has indeed become part of the New World Order of atheist governments. With the last vestiges of Christian law having been removed from "American government" over the last twenty years, there is no longer a threat of resistance against world Communism. In reality, "American government" became part of the Iron Curtain, thus there was no more need for the likes of a Berlin Wall.

Once again, in their foolishness, the American public has believed the lies of their "leaders" who applaud "the fall of Communism", while they have sold out the country to anti-Christian, anti-American statutes and regulations on the federal, state, and local levels. Posted below is a comparison of the original ten planks of the Communist Manifesto written by Karl Marx in 1848, along with the American adopted counterpart of each of the planks, The American people have truly been "buried in Communism" by their own politicians of both the Republican and Democratic parties. One other thing to remember, Karl Marx was stating in the Communist Manifesto that these planks will test whether a country has become communist or not. If they are all in effect and in force the country IS communist. Communism, but by any other name...??

1. Abolition of private property and the application of all rent to public purpose.
The 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution (1868), and various zoning, school & property taxes. Also the Bureau of Land Management.

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.
Misapplication of the 16th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, 1913, The Social Security Act of 1936.; Joint House Resolution 192 of 1933; and various State "income" taxes. We call it "paying your fair share".

3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance.
We call it Federal & State estate Tax (1916); or reformed Probate Laws, and limited inheritance via arbitrary inheritance tax statutes.

4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.
We call in government seizures, tax liens, Public "law" 99-570 (1986);
Executive order 11490, sections 1205, 2002 which gives private land to the Department of Urban Development; the imprisonment of "terrorists" and those who speak out or write against the "government" (1997 Crime/Terrorist Bill); or the IRS confiscation of property without due process.

5. Centralization of credit in the hands of the State, by means of a national bank with state capital and an exclusive monopoly.
We call it the Federal Reserve which is a credit/debt system nationally organized by the Federal Reserve act of 1913. All local banks are members of the Fed system, and are regulated by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC).

6. Centralization of the means of communication and transportation in the hands of the State.
We call it the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and Department of Transportation (DOT) mandated through the ICC act of 1887, the Commissions Act of 1934, The Interstate Commerce Commission established in 1938, The Federal Aviation Administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Executive orders 11490, 10999, as well as State mandated driver's licenses and Department of Transportation regulations.

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the State, the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

We call it corporate capacity, The Desert Entry Act and The Department of Agriculture. As well as the Department of Commerce and Labor, Department of Interior, the Environmental Protection Agency, Bureau of Land Management, Bureau of Reclamation, Bureau of Mines, National Park Service, and the IRS control of business through corporate regulations.

8. Equal liability of all to labor. Establishment of Industrial armies, especially for agriculture.
We call it the Social Security Administration and The Department of Labor. The National debt and inflation caused by the communal bank has caused the need for a two "income" family. Woman in the workplace since the 1920's, the 19th amendment of the U.S. Constitution, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, assorted Socialist Unions, affirmative action, the Federal Public Works Program and of course Executive order 11000.

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country by a more equable distribution of the population over the country.
We call it the Planning Reorganization act of 1949 , zoning (Title 17 1910-1990) and Super Corporate Farms, as well as Executive orders 11647, 11731 (ten regions) and Public "law" 89-136.

10. Free education for all children in government schools. Abolition of children's factory labor in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production, etc. etc.
People are being taxed to support what we call 'public' schools, which train the young to work for the communal debt system. We also call it the Department of Education, the NEA and Outcome Based "Education" .

So I ask you...does changing the words, change the end result? By using different words is it all of a sudden OK????? We are so "smart," aren't we??


None are more hopelessly enslaved, as those who falsely believe they are free....
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10planks.htm. Revised 12-29-02. uhuh and GR Force are non-profit.

User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Thanks for the information Pamalinsky, you give good heads up.

How sad that we weren't able to save the Soviet Union. I'm sure they're untimely demise bears no relevance to our own which is impending.
Why would it, the differences between the revolution of 1917 and the way it's heading now are completely different Whoopie, you know that as a good progressive and follower of the First Church of Climatology/Obamunism/anything deemed worthy by the Party.
(off)
The only difference, at least the most striking to me, is instead of a big revolution happening, the American people are simply sleepwalking into communism.

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:As you can see 1963 has been made into 2009. Simply glorious.
So does that mean the Soviet Union is back?! Colonel, as our Commissar of time, can you do that, return us to 1963, I want to see the gloriousness of our Union of Soviets?

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Elliott, do we want that? In those days there were fences to keep people out of free countries and in Communist ones. Our loyal Democrats are tearing down the fences keeping people out of the USSA and there are very few fences keeping people in communist countries now. Only two as a matter of fact.

Why? I'll tell you. If the whole world is a prison camp, we don't need fences. That's why.

Pamalinsky, the idea of a reverse Jiffi-Lobo is interesting but what do we put in? Only that organic computer, the human brain, is up to the data processing.

And although I hate to admit it, the reason that Jiffi-Lobo can be done is that it's conjoined with the Superheterodyne, Phased Antenna Array Tin-Foil Hat for receiving transmissions from Noble Space Dog Laika. After the Fairness Doctrine, there will no possibility of having a hat to receive say Rush.

In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm), the entire USSA will be overflown by 747s departing from Murtha Airport to broadcast the Truth du Jour to all the happy citizens.

Because you know, as a progressive, that the Truth is what was true when we woke up(tm).

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Elliott, do we want that? In those days there were fences to keep people out of free countries and in Communist ones. Our loyal Democrats are tearing down the fences keeping people out of the USSA and there are very few fences keeping people in communist countries now. Only two as a matter of fact.

Why? I'll tell you. If the whole world is a prison camp, we don't need fences. That's why.
Huh, never thought of that, good point.

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I don't think Craptek was even born when this topic started more than six years ago.

BTW, does anyone know what the life expectancy of squirrels is?

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It is good to again see the writings of the founding fathers Village Elders. Their wisdom is not to be lost...

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BTW, does anyone know what the life expectancy of squirrels is?

Depends on the speed of the car.

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Red Square wrote:I don't think Craptek was even born when this topic started more than six years ago.

BTW, does anyone know what the life expectancy of squirrels is?

Comrade Square,

My undomesticated, freely roaming father lived to the ripe old age of 9 while evading dogs, cats, fleas, and the greatest menace of all - paved roads!

At the other end of the spectrum, cousin Bubba went to his final reward (that vast pecan orchard in the sky - did you hear that, Ivan?) after living 19 years in a cage at the zoo! Go figure.

CC

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I'm not sure if respect or scorn is more appropriate...if my father spent 19 years in gulag...

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Captain Craptek wrote:... the greatest menace of all - paved roads!
o yeah, paved roads? paved roads?? you should know better, Comrade Rodent!
Your nuts-driven brain already forgot the cutting-edge most equal latest research???


OTOH, don't ask too much of Comrades Rodents nuts & brains :

Image
Image

User avatar
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:... the greatest menace of all - paved roads!
o yeah, paved roads? paved roads?? you should know better, Comrade Rodent!
Your nuts-driven brain already forgot the cutting-edge most equal recent research???


OTOH, don't ask too much of Comrades Rodents nuts & brains :

Amended version;

"My undomesticated, freely roaming father lived to the ripe old age of 9 while evading dogs, cats, fleas, and the greatest menace of all - paved roads fat humans in ill fitting Yoga pants!"
CC

cc to CC

flat-craptek.png


 
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