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I'm Out on a Ledge! (and of course it's because of Bush)

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My fellow comrades:

I, Pinkie, am perched out here on the ledge of this high-rise to send a strong message to our leaders that I do not like the direction this country is taking, and We The People will not tolerate any more of their nonsense. They'd better do what we want OR ELSE . . . or else I will stay out here, and who knows? I may even jump.

So far I have tried every harebrained Progressive scheme courageous display of civil disobedience I can think of to raise awareness and call attention to how much I care.

I stood on the street corner with a sign that said HONK IF YOU HATE BUSH. I bared my boobs at rallies, neighborhood block parties, and PTA meetings. I marched, and took part in sit-ins, stand-ins, love-ins, lie-ins, die-ins, and even pee-ins to protest the city's placement of privately contracted portapotties at these events. How dare the capitalists try to profit from the natural bodily functions of others!

I created a blog and posted every anti-Bush item and picture I could find from other sites, because I was so busy trying to avoid honest work with my other important civil disobedience activities, that I simply didn't have time to sit down and compose original material (hell, even this post here is copied-and-pasted from a site I found called “101 Mindless Rants, Pointless Quizzes, and Other Stupid Stuff You Can Post to Your Blog”).

Just last night I heard Bush murdered his 4000th servicemember in Iraq. That he did it at all is bad enough, but why couldn't he have done it last week, when we had all those protests and rallies? I'll tell you why—it's because then more people would've turned out, and we would've had more coverage from a shamefully indifferent corporate news media that would rather concentrate on the deteriorating economy, and why? I'll tell you why—it's because Bush also destroyed the economy to divert everyone's attention from the atrocities he's committing in Iraq! Damned if the media didn't play right into his bloodstained hands!

To think I could've had my picture in the paper and on TV last week. To think I could've felt important. To think I could've felt like I was making a difference!

TO THINK I COULD'VE FELT LIKE I WAS DOING SOMETHING!

But I remain undaunted in my noble crusade to Make A Difference and Take Back Our Country. And that is why I am perched on this ledge.

I mean to stay out here until our troops come home, and Bush and Cheney are impeached and brought before a Global Tribunal to be punished for their Crimes Against Everything. But I'm going to need your help:

I will need someone to bring me food and vodka. Also, I will need volunteers to “perch in” for me during those times when:

  1. I need to go to the bathroom.
  2. One of my boyfriends wants to have sex.
  3. American Idol is on. It can't be taped, because I only have two hours immediately after the live telecast to text my vote.
  4. It gets too cold or wet for me.
  5. There are no news media around.

Who will join me in my latest lamebrain idea newfound Glorious Cause? Who wants to help me Make A Difference, and Take Back Our Country?

I ask, nay, challenge all of you to answer the most important question of all:

WHO CARES?


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I was ready to “perch in” for you Pinkie, and then I read, when there are no news media around.
So sorry I'm busy with my protest for the indictment of Rush for voter fraud, indictmentforpeace.org

But, You Go Girl!

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Maksim, I'm perched out on the ledge for that, too! Now c'mon, the press will come--because my darling Brad Pitt will be here! It won't be just Pinkie--it'll be BRINKIE!

But I'll still need those bathroom breaks. There's a bunch of window washers on a scaffold directly beneath me, you see.

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Why on earth would you be perched on a ledge? Why not get someone expendable to do it? Someone like Cindy Sheman? She needs something to bring her back into the media, and her untimely death while fighting the Evil Bush Administration would be the perfect thing!

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Premier Betty wrote:Why on earth would you be perched on a ledge?

Did you not read my post? It's to call attention to the need to bring our troops home now, to impeach Bush and Cheney, to indict Rush for voter fraud, any other good causes you care to name, and above all, to show how much I care.

It's because I've tried everything else, and still our troops are over in Iraq, still Bush and Cheney are running amok, and still Rush is shooting his mouth off.

I stood on the street corner holding up my sign, I bared my boobs, I marched and sat, etc., and now I mean to get serious. My "perch in" on such a high ledge will call attention to the issues currently tearing our country apart.

Surely the Democrats will grow a collective spine and hasten to introduce articles of impeachment, rather than risk letting one of their voters jump from a ledge.

Now are you going to show how much you care about what's happening to this country and come out here and "perch in" with me, or are you just going to hang out that window like you're checking the weather?

For your information, the weather's the same. It's still cold, but that doesn't mean Global Warming is over, not by a long shot. The cold is purely anecdotal.

At least make yourself useful and fetch me a blanket.

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No, I mean why are <i>you</i> on a ledge? There are so many others who could easily take that job without the risk of losing you.

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No one's going to lose me. If anything, America stands to lose a lot more if I don't do this.

If you're so worried, then get out here and take my place, at least for the next ten minutes so I can go to the little commissarka's room.

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No, I mean, um... It's too far away. After all, it would take quite a while for me to fly all the way out to where you are from Sweden. Think of all the greenhouse gasses I would create!

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Commissarka, there is an easier way. We at Halliburton, after extensive research and testing, have created the Acme Impeachment Kit. You may have heard of it or similar products. As you know, other impeachment kits simply don't work.

The new Halliburton Acme Impeachment Kit is different. We've teamed up with the famous RED TIDE Foundation Communist Front Group, inc. to put together a package that's new and improved and fun. For only 50 dollars you'll receive:

* 2 Impeach the Regime Now! postcards to send to your Congresspersons! Ride the RED TIDE!
It's fun!!!

<img src="https://homepage.mac.com/kcralston/.pic ... dfront.png" width="400">
Front
<img src="https://homepage.mac.com/kcralston/.pic ... rdback.png" width="400">
Back

* We made real upside-down American flags and packed 2 of these unique items in each Acme Impeachment Kit. Everyone will say "Where did you get upside-down flags?" Carry and display 'em at all the best "actions." The country is hurting!

<img src="https://robertcolpitts.com/images/800px ... _down).gif" width="250"> <img src="https://robertcolpitts.com/images/800px ... _down).gif" width="250">

* A signed picture of the Mime to give you inspiration!

<img src="https://homepage.mac.com/kcralston/.pic ... n/mime.png" width="300">

* And of course, you get all the evidence to back up impeachment. You'll get 100,245,721 pages of mind numbing documents from nowhere. These documents aren't to read, they are to point at when in heated discussion with knuckle-dragging 19 percenters. Even a lawyer won't wade through all that minutiae. Who has the time! So use that stack of "evidence" to back up any argument. "All the facts are right there. Can't you read?!" The evidence is a pile within a mystery within a junk heap. Try it, it works!

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If only my government pension allowed enough monies for me to purchase that wonderful product. Perhaps I could demand my congressperson provide a new entitlement program so I, too can benefit from this ingenious Impeachment Kit.

And I really want one of those signed pictures - I could frame it and put it right next to my autographed copy of Chomsky's "Failed States."

-Mikhail

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Pinkie wrote:I simply didn't have time to sit down and compose original material (hell, even this post here is copied-and-pasted from a site I found called “101 Mindless Rants, Pointless Quizzes, and Other Stupid Stuff You Can Post to Your Blog”).
A keen observation, Commissarka! The massive presence of liberal blogs is not there to read or get information from - it's designed to create the impression of a massive presence - and everything else is a mere side effect of it. So the site "101 Mindless Rants, Pointless Quizzes, and Other Stupid Stuff You Can Post to Your Blog" funded and edited by the RED TIDES COMMUNIST FRONT GROUP, INC. (and George Soros) is the key component of that and the source of our hope for a change.

The Muslim freedom fighters use the same tactic when they create numerous small terror groups under different names but with the same members - to create the impression of a massive presence.

This tactic has been around since the Potemkin villages, so it would be only proper to label the non-original progressive blogs on the internet "The Potemkin Blogosphere."

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I will join the perch-in, Comrade Pinkie, but there are some things we should do to ensure that our message of hope, change and an end to the senseless blood-shed in Iraq gets out.

One idea of mine is to get young progressives - you know, the impressionable youth that will do anything we tell them with the help of celebrities - to join us in this worthwhile crusade and to eventually jump off the ledge in the name of bringing the troops home.

I know! I know! It sounds extreme, but think about it for a second. What would get the people's attention - and most importantly, the news media's attention - than seeing young progressives hurling themselves off a skyscraper in the name of peace? Is throwing yourself off a skyscraper in the name of surrender peace not a worthy cause? Don't you think people will rise up and impeach the Chimpler once they discover that their kid was pushed willingly jumped off a skyscraper because of Bush's illegal and immoral war in Iraq?

Think about it, Comrades – just think about it.

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I think Chairman is on to something. In the absence of moral principles any absurdity, if repeated often enough, becomes a moral imperative. If we create a fake news story about the ledge-in and protesters jumping off the windows, and follow it up with more fake stories of how the trend is catching on in other big cities of the country and even abroad, we may have a lemming stampede headed by the Mime rushing to the windows!

We can create a website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org where we will describe the basic principles of the ledge-in and give instructions on how to say good bye to the world (the cold, cruel, and unjust world of non-utopia), to the loved ones (if any) and to the hated ones (parents), what your last words should be to the news media, contact numbers for the most sympathetic news media in your area, how much of an advance notice to give to the media so that they won't have time to stop you but have ample time to arrive and set up the cameras (you don't want to break your bones and crack your skull open just for the amusement of some stupid pedestrians who may well be the Republicans, now do you?) etc.

Of course, it's always important to tell them what to wear...
- Nothing baggy, padded, or with flaps that could break the fall. Maximize the impact with spandex!
- Red clothes is a no-no, then your blood will be lost in the background. Light colors are a go! Pure white or pink works best. We have an agreement with GAP and other participants of the PRODUCT[RED] campaign to sell special ledge-in clothes for the progressive youth at wholesale discount prices.
- Put a few ketchup bottles in your pockets to create as much red pulp on the ground as possible for the TV cameras

Pre-manufactured protest signs and armbands will be available for free from RED TIDES FRONT COMMUNIST GROUP, INC. which is sponsoring the event.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:Commissarka, there is an easier way. We at Halliburton, after extensive research and testing, have created the Acme Impeachment Kit. You may have heard of it or similar products. As you know, other impeachment kits simply don't work.

I do believe I've heard of the Acme Impeachment Kit. Is this a new 2.0 version? Because I've heard the old 1.0 version had a lot of glitches, and that its "Plan B" program didn't work at all.

Or am I thinking of the DIY Impeachment Kit?

Meanwhile, Chairman Meow writes:

One idea of mine is to get young progressives - you know, the impressionable youth that will do anything we tell them with the help of celebrities - to join us in this worthwhile crusade and to eventually jump off the ledge in the name of bringing the troops home.



Chairman! What if we offered each Young Progressive 72 iPhones for jumping? Or maybe 72 PS3's, or 72 Wii's?

The Chairman sends another tingle up the leg with this:

Don't you think people will rise up and impeach the Chimpler once they discover that their kid was pushed willingly jumped off a skyscraper because of Bush's illegal and immoral war in Iraq?

Absolutely! And if anyone from the Right sees through our newest movement, we'll just tell them it's all a big joke, and what idiot fools they are for not having a sense of humor, and being stupid enough to think we were serious!

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Commissarka, as you know I have concerns about the safety of your ledge given the complete disregard the Bush regime has shown toward keeping up the infrastructure. As you know, the past 8 years has led to a complete breakdown of the infrastructure in the US due to Bush spending all the money on murdering peace loving peoples in the middle east and slaughtering soldiers.

I just want to assure you that I sent a trusted ledge inspector that has recently become available to inspect your ledge. He reports that all is in order, at least unless it rains too hard and washes out the glue he used to correct a small crack.

I would be proud to join you with your ledge perch as soon as my schedule allows. Perhaps I could take a number?

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You don't need a number, Pupovich. Just get out here. Don't you care? Don't you want to see Bush brought to justice? Don't you realize that if he isn't, every president from this day forward will think they can do whatever they want and get away with it?

Or are you one of those digitally lobotomized, knuckle-dragging, FAUX addicted, Bush-worshiping 19 percenters who likes to laugh at and hate Progressives, while doing absolutely nothing yourself--except for licking Bush's boots?

Our country is destroyed forever, and we need to take it back. We've tried everything else, Pupovich. A "perch in" on a high rise ledge, with the threat of jumping, is the only way those spineless oppressors will ever take We The People seriously.

Falling due to a weakened infrastructure would be even better! Imagine the gloriousness of plummeting to your horrible, grisly death, only to have those left behind blame it on Bush, and have yet one more charge to add to his endless list of Crimes Against Everything!

And if you do happen to jump--or even fall--there'll be 72 gorgeous female poodles with 72 milk bones, waiting just for you!

Now are you going to join me out here on the ledge, or are you just going to hang out that window all day like a lovelorn signorina waiting for some guy with a guitar to come along and serenade you?

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I am coming out Commissarka! I am in the zone! I am up for the Battle. Er... it's a bit cold out here...

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I thinking about protesting the anti-Islamic, ethnocentric policy of not giving welfare benefits to all 17 of my wives. I'll called it a Harem-in.

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Did I ever tell anyone that I am a borderline genius? Yeah, I'm a borderline genius. I like scored high on this, like, genius test once and stuff. I should be paid to sit on the ledge since I am batting high due to my borderline genius credentials. I could like solve the universe's mysteries and stuff since I'm a borderline genius.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote: I like scored high on this, like, genius test once and stuff.

I scored a perfect 100 on my IQ test!

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Excellent, Pupovich! Come on out, like a good doggie! Just push Mr. Marquette over--there he goes, splat! It's not his fault about the crane--it's Bush's. The other day there was another crane collapse down in Miami. I'll have to add that to my other Bush thread: Crimes Against Cranes!

Meow and Betty: I took those same tests, too! "Are You a Borderline Genius?" and "Do You Have a Perfect IQ?" are just two of the many "Pointless Quizzes" available on the "101 Mindless Rants, Pointless Quizzes, and Other Stupid Stuff You Can Post to Your Blog" site, from which I copied-and-pasted the initial post on this thread!

Isn't that the coolest site ever? Just wait until we launch jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org. It's going to be even bigger and better. I've been googling "Bush sucks" all day for stuff I can copy and paste to it.

At last I feel as if we're finally getting somewhere in our glorious movement to bring down the evil Bush/Cheney regime! We The People will be victorious yet!

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Chairman, we already know the answer to answer to life, the universe, and everything,,,,it is 42 as our great Soviet scientists discovered several years ago. But rest assured, the entire collective is aware that you are borderline.

Commissarka, it is getting cold up here, and no one has taken me for a walk, and an old dog's bladder is just not what it used to be. Do you mind? Now if I can just lift my leg high enough,,,,

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Pinkie, beware Bush has been illegally monitoring your activities. I was able to obtain this surveillance photo from knuckle-dragging sources.

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Thank Lenin that photograph didn't catch me as I was relieving myself. You know it is really cold out here on the ledge, and I am missing some of my comforts, but I must admit I have almost started to enjoy the fresh air and occasional dog biscuits Commissarka Pinkie gives me.

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Pupovich, I also received this photo. I just wasn't sure it was you.

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Maksim, that's not a surveillance photo--that's the PRESS! (Surveillance photos always make my butt look big.) Why, that's worthy of People Magazine!

Thank you for your contribution to The Pinkie Show (not to be confused with The Pinky Show).

See, I told you the Press would come! It's working! OUR "PERCH-IN" IS WORKING!

WE ARE RAISING AWARENESS! WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

Now, Maksim, are you going to come out here and join me and Pupovich, or are you just going to hang out that window like a broken cuckoo who can't get back into his clock?

And you, Pupovich! What's so embarrassing about peeing on a Bush sign? That's not only the most natural bodily function in the world, but it's the most beautiful! Be proud!

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Now that your movement is gaining steam and becoming noticed, I too will perch myself upon the elevated observation deck area. Yesterday I purchased binoculars and a knife from Davis' Hardware, as well as Spam from a 7-Eleven store, so I will not be requiring any additional supplies.

For our protection from the rabid pro-war Bushie crowd that will no doubt show up to kill us, I will also bring a Remington 700 bolt-action hunting rifle with a 4x Leupold Scope, an M1 Carbine, a 6mm Remington rifle, a shotgun, three pistols, and various other equipment in a Marine footlocker. For our protection, of course. It's too bad you didn't choose a clock tower to hold this protest, but an elevated observation deck area will do just as well.

I will be the one wearing khaki coveralls over my shirt and jeans and under a green jacket. Once in the tower on the ledge, I will also don a white sweatband.

Maybe I can come up with some other sort of attention getting tactic in order to raise awareness...

-Mikhail

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More and more comrades are joining Pinkie on the ledge! What an excellent initiative! With any luck we'll celebrate May Day on the ledge. MAY DAY ON THE LEDGE! MAY DAY ON THE LEDGE!

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Mikhail, I hope the safety is on; I'd hate to see Betty lose the top of his head. Also you should check to see if Betty is aiming his side arm at your crotch.

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Yes, I have removed my booger hook from the bang switch because of the mixed company.

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I'm going to bring some hookers with me so that they can flash their tits to get us even more attention.

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By Lenin, if that doesn't get attention I don't know what will! I have not felt such solidarity since manning the burning barricades in Moscow in '17.

Mayday on the Ledge!

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Joining Pinkie on the ledge is your duty and bribes should not be required, however we are willing to offer all those that participate the following daily perks.
One ration of vodka
One Obama mustard and relish sandwich
Image MAY DAY ON THE LEDGE!

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I am but a lowly first time poster! Allow me to leap for glorious party!

But only if I get to land on an evil capitalist's BMW!

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Maksim Maksimovich wrote: I'd hate to see Betty lose the top of his head.

I haven't used my head for anything but a battering ram and for breaking my fall.

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Welcome, Dr. Detroit! Join us on the ledge as we perch in for peace, impeachment, the muzzling and indictment of the hatemongering fraudster Rush Limbaugh, and whatever else we can think of that will promote our Glorious Cause, give us something to do between government checks, and get our picture in the press.

We won't be asking you to jump just yet, however. Only after it gets too crowded, and those in power still haven't gotten the strong message we are sending them, will we start pushing asking people to jump, thereby sending an even stronger message to city councils and boards of homeowners' associations everywhere, that we're serious about making them aware of our demands that they pass immediate resolutions calling on Congress to bring Bush and his cronies to justice.

It's just that simple!

And when pushing jumping does become necessary, remember these two important words:

MIMES FIRST!

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Yes, we welcome Dr Detroit. It is upon such fresh bodies that the Party will build and will make a great propoganda piece. However, how can he attend the mandatory KMRC Shovel camp while out here on the ledge?

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Maybe my brother can be forced,--er, I mean I'm sure he would love to volunteer to shovel for me. It will be a nice break from that harsh desert life of his.

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While perusing the funny pages (aka Mimeland) for my daily chuckle/coffee spew this morning, I came across a couple of items that made me realize the need to (a) cover our tushies and (b) silence (if that's the word in this case) armchair mimes.

Therefore, all Perchers must sign this waiver upon taking their place on the ledge:

I certify that all information provided on this form is true and complete to my knowledge, despite the fact that most of it is provided by Commissarka Pinkie herself and all I'm providing is my signature.

I also certify that I will abide by the rules and instructions of Commissarka Pinkie, no matter how petty and arbitrary they may be. I also acknowledge that all rules are subject to change without notice at any time depending on the Commissarka's mood, whim, level of boredom, or degree of frustration with the lack of attention from the news media or lack of awareness from non-participants.

In consideration of my participation in the Perch-In, I, on behalf of myself, my heirs (both legitimate and illegitimate), my legal counsel, publicists, creditors and all those claiming by or through or to be me, consent to hereby discharge and forever hold harmless and free of all blame The People's Cube, Commissarka Pinkie, and jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org and all other sponsors, organizations, municipalities and individuals for any injuries or damages I or my reputation may suffer as a result of my participation in this event, save for the corporate owner (including its parent company and all subsidiaries) of the building on which the Perch-In takes place, and George W. Bush. Potential injuries and damages include but are not limited to the following: Arrest, sexual assaults, beatings by police, hypothermia, sunburn, windburn, sunstroke, heatstroke, exposure, dehydration, malnutrition, kidney failure, loss of employment (if any), breakdown of long term relationships, foreclosures and repossessions due to failure to pay bills, inability to pick up a signal on my cell phone, and falling off the ledge.

I further certify that I will stay on this ledge until Bush and Cheney are impeached and our troops withdrawn from Iraq, to send the world a strong message and show them how serious I am and how committed I am to this Glorious Cause, and that nothing, not even inclement weather, the call of nature, or lack of media attention, will induce me to leave my sacred perch, short of the aforementioned impeachment and withdrawal. However, I hereby agree that should I have to leave my place on the ledge at anytime for any reason, to include inclement weather, the call of nature, or lack of media attention, that it is my responsibility to find a volunteer to perch in for me as it is vital to maintain high numbers of perchers to show the world that we aren't just a few kooks, but that we are in the majority now, and will not be outnumbered, shouted down, or allow our voices to be suppressed and silenced by a couple of digitally lobotomized 19 percenters.

I certify that I have brought with me enough vodka to last through at least May Day, and that all bottles must be given to Commissarka Pinkie for inspection (to make sure the vodka has been bottled by a “green” company) upon taking my place on the ledge. I also understand that Commissarka Pinkie will return all empty bottles to me when the perch-in is over.


I also certify that I have signed up sponsors for my participation in the Perch In, and that I collected all the money from them at the time they signed up, based on the assumption that I may be on this ledge until January 20, 2009, though it's hoped we'll have impeachment and withdrawal a lot sooner than that! I further certify that all sponsors acknowledge their pledges cannot be refunded.

Finally, I certify that I will not offer any suggestions, ideas, or constructive criticism to Commissarka Pinkie unless I'm willing to act on those suggestions, ideas, or constructive criticism myself; e.g., I will not suggest she use a more readable font for this waiver unless I'm willing to set up my own illegal printing press in my mother's basement and print up waivers in a more readable font myself. I agree not to tell Pinkie how to run her show because she gets a thousand suggestions for every person who actually steps up to volunteer and do their part, even though she has nearly 13,000 people who are fed up with the Bush Administration and want action now enrolled in her jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org forum. Everybody's a critic, but it takes a rare combination of intelligence, integrity, and even borderline genius to actually, as Ghandi (sic) so aptly put "become the change you wish to see in others". What are you willing to contribute to the cause of salvaging our Democratic Republic from the domestic enemies to it residing in the White House and wandering the walls of Congress if not your money, your vodka, and your abject devotion to the Commissarka? Anything? Anything at all?

Signed _________________________________

This waiver courtesy of Waiver And Contract Kits Online, in partnership with “101 Mindless Rants, Pointless Quizzes, and Stupid Stuff You Can Post To Your Blog” and WikiHBO—the world's only official online clearinghouse and ultimate source for all things anti-Bush.

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Dagnab it Commissarka! Wouldn't you know it? I can not sign this at this time! It is with deep regret that I did not bring the requisite volume of vodka that you mandated. In addition, we do need more media presence, so I must leave to collect what vodka I can round up and bribe or otherwise enlist the media to cover us. I will be back shortly though, and hopefully will bring a pen to sign someone's name.

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Who's going to perch in for you, Pup? You can't leave until you have someone to take your place.

And put away that Bush effigy; you can't use it. That's strictly for burning, beating, and throwing off the ledge.

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Commissarka, I joined you out on the ledge before you wrote up your most wise and thoughtful waiver, and thus never signed such an agreement, so not bound by it, However, I will gladly sign it upon my return. It won't be long, Besides, look behind you, there comes a new volunteer. Chow!

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Come back, Pupovich, you're not going anywhere! No one's going anywhere, until they drink their kool-aid! And even then, there's only one way out--or should I say, OFF?

Besides, you came up here with Flat Floozy. She signed the waiver for you. She also brought your vodka ration. (You didn't think those bazoombas were real, did you?)

Sit, doggie! And stop doing that thing with your tail.

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Sorry, Party business calls, you hear it don't you? I have the perfect solution. Just put flat Commissar Pupovich up there, No one will know the difference!

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Hi Commissarka Pinkie! I am back! Sorry I had to go, but with SMO on leave, and you out here on the ledge, someone has to go clean up, and by Lenin, that tirade of Bill's really left a mess! Not to mention some other jobs that had to be tidied up. I brought you some nice Russian caviar, a little left over champaign, more vodka, some sort of exotic Russian goat cheeses (or so they say), and some finger sandwiches... no really, finger sandwiches from the "Bite the Hand That Feeds You" restaurant. Oh, and while working over at Nancy's I happened across some sort of body lotion? Called HildoLube #69? It smells like something out of the very pits of the Lubyanka so I figure it must be some woman thing.

Oh well, it is great to be back an.... hold on, my People's Pager™ is going off a again..... WTF?!!!! Great Stalin's Ghost! Can't they keep their boot out of it for a minute? Sorry, got to go, Duty calls, again!

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I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of what is at stake, and how important it is that we keep as many people on this ledge as possible, for as long as possible (or at least until Congress bows to the will of We The People by impeaching those two horrible monsters and yanking our troops out).

I never said it wouldn't be hard to do this, even though we have a majority of Democrats in Congress, 81 percent of all 1,100 Americans on our side, and more than enough evidence against Bush and Cheney to put them away for the next million years. You might think all those factors would make this easy, but the 19 percenters who still blindly worship Bush and march in lockstep with his failed policies have a powerful, well funded, Rupert Murdoch-owned denial machine.

Yet those same 19 percenters will tell you it's a lot easier, and that it "makes more sense" (whatever the heck that means) to just stand around criticizing our movement while they do nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Since you brought all these little comforts, Pupovich, I might let your little outings pass. But do not abuse our good will, or we will have to start questioning your commitment and belief in our Glorious Cause.

And trust me, when we start questioning, we will push you off the ledge for answers.

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<text>

Behind U 110%! BRB! HRC calling. SSDD!

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That's it, Pupovich. You're up to no good. You keep cooking up excuses to duck out of here.

The fact that you can't stay on the ledge for more than a minute at a time is obviously proof that you're not committed to our cause. That you don't really believe in it. That you're not even aware of what's at stake for this entire Planet, and most importantly, THAT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!

Have you any idea how serious this is? Do you think we're just perched out here because we have nothing better to do until our next government check, or because we want to get our picture on TV or the Internet? Puppy, we are trying to send a strong message to the world that we are trying to raise awareness of the necessity for an immediate resolution demanding that--that--well, that someone somewhere take action that will allow We The People to take back this country from the evil forces that have destroyed it forever!

Now, have you anything of substance to contribute to our noble cause, Pupovich?

Anything? Anything at all?

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Pinkie.

I believe your Ledge Pledge is only good for Party Comrades in the Socialist Republic of Ohio.

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Dogs! Dogs are nothing but trouble!

It's not a pledge, but a waiver to relieve me of all responsibility should any of you find your lives ruined in some way because of this.

It's easy to stand around wagging your tail and criticizing, but it takes real courage to do what I'm doing. You think it's easy sitting out here all day and all night, with nothing (yet) to show for it?

At least I'm trying to do something. At least I'm trying to raise awareness, instead of my hind leg.

AT LEAST I CARE!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Dogs! Dogs are nothing but trouble!

It's not a pledge, but a waiver to relieve me of all responsibility should any of you find your lives ruined in some way because of this.

It's easy to stand around wagging your tail and criticizing, but it takes real courage to do what I'm doing. You think it's easy sitting out here all day and all night, with nothing (yet) to show for it?

At least I'm trying to do something. At least I'm trying to raise awareness, instead of my hind leg.

AT LEAST I CARE!

Meeee-ow! Never send a puppy to do a cat's work! Poor Pupovich, I mean this only with the deepest respect for a comrade in the cause, but that pooch is pooped.

Allow me to introduce myself, a simple sojurner in the quest for truth, justice, and Friskies. I am Mousey-Tounge, and I hate Bush more than I love life or sushi.

Commisarka Pinkie, I will lie on your ledge of truth to bring down the savage kitty-killers: the Bush/Cheney/Halliburton cartel of death. I will endure the cold, the wind, and the low-frequency pulsations of Premier Betty's iPod. I will need to groom now and then, and of course my staff will need access to the ledge to attend to my culinary and feline hygiene needs. They can bring a case of Absolut as well, only say the word!

Now, where can I put my pawprint?

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::holding bottle of BBQ sauce:: Here kitty, kitty, kitty. I got some tasty rat poisoning for you! Here kitty! Come to me kitty, kitty, kitty.

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Mr. Chairman, you should know better. One, is bad manners to poison comrade in the cause, unless necessary due to political or doctrinal differences. Two, I prefer General Tso's Chicken.

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I have poisoned many Comrades, Comrade Kitty - it is called a "promotion" and it is how one *collectively* rises in the Party Hierarchy. Now then, why don't you be a good kitty and jump into my microwave and stay in there for ten minutes.

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Whoa! What happened to my reply? Great Stalin's Ghost! It must have been stolen by some cat beast comrade! Well, be that as it may. Commissarka, if only you had been more clear about the nature of your document, this misunderstanding may have never seen the light of day. But it is true that someone has to clean up around here with you out here on the ledge, and damn it, it's a tough job but someone has to do it! But knowing that your "disclaimer" will not prevent me from doing my duty as the Party leads me to see that duty, then of course I will do my very best to be here with you. I ask you now, who was it that was first out here on the ledge with you? It was I Commissarka! And even when I was not here, I feel every bit as much about this as anyone, and that is what counts. Isn't my I Care ribbon as big and shiney as yours? Besides, why do you need a disclaimer of responsibility in the first place? You are a Party official in the first place, and there is always Bush in the second place. Oh well, I am back.... let me just take a seat and....er...what is that noise? Oh my, looks like "Commrade Kitty" has shown his depth of feeling by jumping for awareness. Oh yes, that will certainly show them how dedicated we are! Damn, that's got to hurt! I thought they always land on their feet? Oh well, I presume we got all the contributions from Kitty before that demonstration of caring?

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Ahh, the sting of rebuke is upon me...that concrete is hard! But you must know, my slobbering comrade, I have 8 lives left, plus an additional reserve of lives liberated from those unfortunates who have been 'promoted' for the cause. And I didn't jump, I was pushed...

Now, be a good puppy and make a little room...and keep your tail to yourself, or you will learn these fangs are not just for nipping the heels of capitalist dogs!

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Here is a photo of the party at my dacha last weekend, to cheer up Commisarka Pinkie. These guys did a great show (some magic, self-immolation, and they have an awesome steel band).

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Well, crud. I go to sleep for a few hours, and all sorts of people (and animals) show up on the ledge to party in my absence.

Welcome, Mousey-Tongue! We need more cats around here. And if you should happen to drop off the ledge, I trust you will land on your feet.

I love the photo, but let's get one thing straight, kitty: NO ONE hates Bush as much as I do!

Pupovich: There there, now. It's perfectly normal to feel a little jealous and out of sorts when a new pet comes into the Collective! I still need you to run and fetch and spread fleas as directed.

I'll get you a brand new ruffled pink party dress to wear, then you can be Pinkie's cute widdle pwincess puppy! How's that sound?

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A few things Commissarka... I had my attorney, the noted Sir Pup Esq, go over your disclaimer and he assures me it is not worth the carbon credit it was wrote on. Secondly, what on Lenin's collective makes you imagine that I would ever be jealous of a cat beast? In fact, I have already invited the creature over for dinner.

<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/mightypup/cat bread.jpg"></center>

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Commisarka Pinkie, perhaps something like this for your widdle princess puppy?

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Ah yes, Mousey-Tongue, that's my widdle pwincess! Isn't he adorable?

I'm starting to feel as if I'm in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

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Perhaps Commisar Pupovich and I should, for the good of the Party, bury this bone of contention and focus our fury on the criminal Bush. Mssr. Pupovich, my big-pawed comrade, can there be peace in our time?

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What sort of imperialist catnip have you been inhaling comrade MouseyTongue (an appropriate name no doubt, tinged with tuna breath)? You, a mere prole, showing such disrespect for one more equal than you? Have you forgot that I am a Commissar and Hon. Vice Chairman? Perhaps a little shovel time will clear your memory. So I have but one response to your pleas comrade cat until a little decorum is firmly implanted into that small skull.

<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/1sickpup/talkto ... center><br>

Commissarka Pinkie, I wish to know how you could treat your co-office mate in such a manner. Has it not always been I who defended you against the stalkers? Was it not I who first joined you on the ledge? And this is the reward for my support? Perhaps it is time for me to review my options.

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Such is your response to my offer of peace - to throw your gauntlet in my face? So be it!

You will learn, Pupovich - too late, sadly - of your mistake. Only the weak-minded rely on mere titles of authority to rule over the masses lead our people to freedom.

I am no mere kitten to be trifled with, Commisar. I was there through the Purges of Peking, survived the Litterbox Coup (and annihilated the traitors responsible), and led our great people through our glorious Catnip Revolution. My enemies have learned to tremble at my name. Now you too will learn, my dear Pupovich.

Even now, my covert death squads are rounding up your supporters:

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Interrogating prisoners:

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Soon perhaps you shall join your friends:

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It is you, Pupovich, who must surrender his gold-plated pooper scooper and be re-acquainted with a proper shovel...for the Common GoodTM.

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I object!

This must stop!

Dogs, Cats, Appliances, Roadkill, Bryan Hathaway, Mimes!

This must stop for The Common Good™ !

Can't we all get along?

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OK, OK. I hold comrade Laika in the highest esteem. I will yield to his wisdom, and that of the renowned Motorist / Rapper / Visionary, Rodney King. I will release all political prisoners and call a truce. But surely it is still open season on Mimes, right?

Commisar Pupovich, once again I respectfully extend my paw (claws retracted) in comradeship...and take a seat beside you on the Ledge of Justice.

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It's always open season on mimes and George Bush.

Now Pupovich, let's see that tail wag again. You know you're always my favorite Commissar Pup, just as Laika's my favorite Space Dog, Betty my favorite Premier, and Red my favorite Square.

Now, as long as we're all lined up on the ledge here, let's everybody link arms and sway back and forth while we sing "Yellow Submarine."

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Is swaying really such a good idea right now?

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Mousey-Tongue wrote:OK, OK. I hold comrade Laika in the highest esteem. I will yield to his wisdom, and that of the renowned Motorist / Rapper / Visionary, Rodney King. I will release all political prisoners and call a truce. But surely it is still open season on Mimes, right?

Commisar Pupovich, once again I respectfully extend my paw (claws retracted) in comradeship...and take a seat beside you on the Ledge of Justice.

Yes, never forget that Laika and I share a great common heritage.....Laika is more tolerant of the cat beast since he doesn't get a lot of company up in space as it is, while I have had more day to day experiences, However, I do hold out more hope for a progressive cat as opposed to fat cats... but let's not push the envelope.

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Premier Betty wrote:Is swaying really such a good idea right now?

Most wise... I better get off and check to see if that last repair I made will hold.

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It all seemed fun and games until the dark secret behind this "innocent" organization hit the news media:

http://www.dogpartyusa.com

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THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS WAS MADE EXCLUSIVELY OF CATS!

But did the corporate sellout media research the links between the cats and the Bush administration? Of course not! Once again they left the job to us progressive bloggers!

Please leave comments to this picture in the Competition section:
<br>http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1863


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Can someone explain to me what that logo doing on a dog's designer T-shirt?

Doesn't it send a mixed message about the dog's mother? Is this handsome dog model really son of a squirrel? Or is he a son of a Democrat (son of a Dem)?

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At the risk of straying off topic (and perhaps even off the ledge), I find this just as baffling.

Who is it for? Are we trying to encourage underage drinking, or do you take it into your favorite bar for a fill-up, only to crawl out of there with an atomic wedgie five minutes later?

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They don't think about that, they just put their logo on every item that the site sells. It doesn't make sense, but if it will make them money to bribe their way out of the purges after the revolution they so willingly helped start, then there must be some reason for it.

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Other than my General's hat and coat while attending the Kremlin parade, I don't believe in a dog wearing clothes.

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Premier Betty wrote:It doesn't make sense, but if it will make them money to bribe their way out of the purges after the revolution they so willingly helped start, then there must be some reason for it.

So true, Premier! Your observation made my heart swell with pride. Capitalism has nothing on us!

(I only wear my Red Army uniform for formal party events, and when presiding over struggle sessions for dissidents.)

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Boy, I sure like being normal, and wearing pants.

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My fellow comrades,

Things are getting too quiet on the ledge. People committed to staying out here until we achieve peace and all our other demands, are in danger of dropping out--as in OUT, not OFF--because there hasn't been any media coverage or donations lately.

We need to do something to liven things up, raise more awareness, regenerate interest, raise funds, and . . . raise even more awareness.

Things we can do include:

-Bringing in a celebrity for a celebrity endorsement

-Pinkie could change her hairstyle

-Maksim could change his avatar again

-Betty tries on a dress--and discovers he likes it even better than pants

-Who pushed Ka-Ching?

-Pinkie could become engaged to Mousey-Tongue, and at the last minute change her mind and marry Pupovich. Then, just as they're pronounced dog and wife, those brown-shirted fascist terrorists from Freedom's Watch will swoop down from nowhere and massacre everyone. We'll still survive, though.

-Chairman M.S. Punchenko could fall off the ledge, smashing his face. No one will know who he is, for the only thing identifying him is a belt buckle with the letter P. They'll assume he must be Dolly Parton, and thanks to the miracles of plastic surgery, he'll re-enter the show with big blonde hair and big bazoombas. Everyone, however, will pretend they don't notice and still call him Chairman Meow.

-In a special two part episode, we'll all go to Disney World where Red Square will get lost and picked up by Vincent Price, who will mistake him for a cursed idol until Mikhail Kalashnikov, with his cache of weapons and best Mike Brady impression, "reasons" with him and then we all wrap it up by sitting around the campfire playing Disney Sing-A-Long Songs.

-Or we could all just move to the ledge on top of the building across the street.

Other suggestions? Remember, nothing too absurd. We don't want to be accused of jumping the shark.


 
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