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Houston is Saved!

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Antifa_Pajama_Boy.jpg[/img]

Phew! It has been a busy day, but worth it. Thanks to me, Houston is now saved and everything is A-Okay.

I knew that I had to do something for all these poor people who are getting flooded out, so this morning when I was waiting in line for my free-range chai latte with soy and bran muffin made with fair trade canasta grain, I made sure that everybody at the coffee shop knew that Hurricane Harvey was a direct result of that moron Trump pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord.

Some guy tried to argue with me, but I called him a fascist and that shut HIM up.

After breakfast I hooked up with K-dogg and Sunshine and Fashie-Bashie and we all went down to the park and raised awareness by chanting "Hey-HEY! Ho-HO! Trump's Hurricane has got to GO!" for about half an hour before we got bored. I think this one kid over in the sand box was a fascist because he kept ignoring us and playing with a bucket and giggling, but Sunshine stomped on his bucket and broke it while we ran away.

Who's laughing now, you Little Hitler?

We went to MacDonald's for lunch (even though they are like THE avatar for corporate oppression) because they have free WiFi and I re-tweeted a bunch of stuff about how stupid that Hungarian slut Trump married is for wearing high heels when she left the White House to fly down to Texas and get her picture taken like she cares about anybody but herself.

Then I saw this thing on Facebook where Linda Sarsour is calling for people to donate to this really cool Hurricane Relief Fund that will help out the people in Houston. It's called the Texas Organizing Project, and they're going to hold rallies and protests about how unfair Trump is DOWN IN TEXAS! Right in the middle of the floods! This is really important, because a lot of the people down there are not aware that most of the money the Republicans will put into Houston is going to go to rich white people and corporate fat cats. They need somebody down there to hold up signs denouncing FEMA racism!

I posted her link on my Facebook Wall and tweeted the link to like everybody. I even started telling people in MacDonald's about it, but the manager made us leave after I slapped a cup of coffee out some bitch's hand for ignoring me. She made like she was going to hit me with her cane and I was going to mace her, but the place was full of a bunch of guys that looked like storm troopers, so we left.

We went over to Fashie-Bashie's place and his mom had some two-tone ribbon that was blue on one side and brown on the other, and Sunshine said it looked like flood water with mud in it, so we made up a batch of Hurricane Flood Awareness Ribbons to show that we're solid with the people down in Houston. We got your backs, guys, and we're thinking about how tough it must be and how unfair it is and we really feel bad about it. We know Trump didn't show enough empathy for you. They said so on CNN. Well, we got that covered!

We made like thirty ribbons and we got all our friends to put them on and took a picture of us all wearing them. We posted it on Facebook. There's one really cool picture of K-dogg wearing a ribbon on his hoodie and holding a sign that says "#Floods Suck" and me standing next to him with TWO ribbons and a sign that says "#Climate Change Deniers Fault!"

We felt so good about the ribbons that we all wore them down to the Cineplex and bought tickets for "An Inconvenient Sequel." Normally we would have sneaked in as a way to stick it to the corporate fascists who run the theater, but this was different because the tickets sales are going to a good cause. We probably would have got caught anyway since we were the only people in the theater going to that movie. Anyway, it was really eerie the way Gore predicted this exact thing was going to happen. It made us think about ways we can be aware of climate change.

After I got home I went out into the back yard and I cried for a while about how mean all the rich white people are for hurting the Earth so bad that it has to strike back like a wounded animal. I mean, look, I'm white, but I know how bad white people are and I try to make up for it. I tell people they should recycle. I tell people they should use less gas and less electricity. I tell people how bad they are and point out all the lies that Nazis like Trump are telling them.

Before I went in to go to bed I laid down on the lawn and I gave Mother Gaia a great big hug and told her how sorry I was for all of the bad things that other people were doing to her.

And you know what? I felt Mother Gaia hug me back. Just a little.

So everything is gonna be okay, Houston.

You're welcome.


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Flat Antifa smashes Hurricane Harvey.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Flat_Antifa_Hurricane.jpg[/img]


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Trashmouth Said
I think I just soiled myself.....

Higher praise I cannot ask.

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And thanks again to the Boys Down in Agitprop. You have captured the true essence of Antifa. It is a still life: "Antifa in Repose."

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Ivan Betinov wrote:And thanks again to the Boys Down in Agitprop. You have captured the true essence of Antifa. It is a still life: "Antifa in Repose."

Boys?

BOYS?

BOYS?

SEXIST! MISOGYNIST! NAZI!

And how do you even KNOW they're boys? Maybe they identify as girls! Or yea, even jars!

How about shovels?

WHACK!!!

I hereby denounce you for the crime of misgendering. I also denounce the spell-check feature at this site which puts red squiggly lines under misgendering, therefore proclaiming its hatred in refusing to recognize the inexcusable, unforgivable crime of misgendering!

I've been triggered! Where's my safe space? Where's the government? WAAA-AAHHH!

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But...but...Pinkie likes awareness ribbons...why? Why? Oh look! Little birdies chirping and flitting around my jar....

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I just heard Rush Limbaugh finally asking the right questions about Hurricane Harvey on his show:

- Are all the rescuers properly licensed (including the pet rescuers)?
- How do we know their vehicles do not contribute to Global Warming?
- Is there an equal representation of minorities among the rescuers - feminist, transgendered, etc?

The people want to know! The world is watching!

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Red Square wrote:I just heard Rush Limbaugh finally asking the right questions about Hurricane Harvey on his show:

- Are all the rescuers properly licensed (including the pet rescuers)?
- How do we know their vehicles do not contribute to Global Warming?
- Is there an equal representation of minorities among the rescuers - feminist, transgendered, etc?

The people want to know! The world is watching!
And have they gone through the appropriate government workshops on diversity and inclusivity before being permitted to rescue? That is all-important.

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Red Square wrote:I just heard Rush Limbaugh finally asking the right questions about Hurricane Harvey on his show:

- Are all the rescuers properly licensed (including the pet rescuers)?
- How do we know their vehicles do not contribute to Global Warming?
- Is there an equal representation of minorities among the rescuers - feminist, transgendered, etc?

The people want to know! The world is watching!
And have they gone through the appropriate government workshops on diversity and inclusivity before being permitted to rescue? That is all-important.
Also, have they had adequate training in sexual harassment? I'm not sure what that is, but I hear it's bad and that people need to be made aware. If I were president, I would put a stop to all the rescue efforts until everybody has been properly trained and certified. We could divert funds from the fuel reserves being set aside for the Cajun Navy to pay for the workshops.

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I've even gone one step further: I put a Texas flag filter over my Facebook page! I felt so progressive and basked in the glow of satisfaction that comes from strenuously laboring for the Greater Good.
Well, that was until some conservative jerk I just unfriended told me it was the Chilean flag! I mean, does it matter? I was identifying with the downtrodden toiling masses in Texas who have suffered under the systematic racism of Tr*mp for centuries, and to me that was a Texas flag!
Well, then I felt awful because I was guilty of cultural appropriation, and for one sickening moment I realized I was on the same side as Tr*mp. But then I felt so bad about being white that I felt good about being progressive again, and I was able to sneer in righteous indignation at one of Melania's white outfits.
So right now I identify as a Texas flag, and that makes me feel really progressive to be free of gender and species. I'm just so unique and special and different from everybody else that I continue to amaze myself with how much I care.

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Thank you Ivan for all of your glorious compassion that you brought forth on behalf of the peoples of Houston. Your tireless efforts are exactly what we need during this time. White guilt, acknowledgement of environmental abuses, attacking corporate profit seekers and holding up cardboard signs and chanting 45 year old protest slogans is most inspiring.

Although. I am saddened to say that not all are being as productive during this time. I have posted a photo of a looter who, like the wolves of Wall Street, is using this time to take advantage of the less fortunate and was captured on film fleeing the tragedy with his loot.

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I thought this guy lived in Baltimore?
.

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A deplorable Great White Shark - "White" mind you - and what on earth has ever made it "great"? - is now terrorizing the flooded streets of Houston seeking for victims. Guess who is it going to attack? Talk about systemic racism!

[img]/images/various_uploads/Shark_in_Streets_Flood.jpg[/img]

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Of course it goes without saying that the best way to help them is to raise their taxes.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:Of course it goes without saying that the best way to help them is to raise their taxes.
...and ban soft drinks and plastic bags.


 
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