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San Francisco, CA -- 81 year old Cynthia Cunningham was hospitalized during the early morning hours today after she was found barely conscious in Target department store women's restroom. The elderly woman fell into a toilet becoming lodged in the public commode when the seat that Cunningham attempted to use was left up.

According to the victim's family, Cunningham went missing last night after she went into town to buy her grandson a birthday card and a video game. The frail customer with poor eyesight and a weak bladder was recorded on security cameras rushing into the restroom a half-hour before the store closed only to not emerge until EMTs carried her out on a stretcher the following morning.

“It's horrendous” stated Bradley Cunningham, the victims forty year old son. “We were worried sick all night long and we're out looking for her. I can't believe she was trapped in a toilet at Target for at least ten hours all because of a lifted seat in the lady's room."

Surveillance footage shows that the staff locked up the store and failed to check the restrooms before going home. This left Mrs. Cunningham screaming for help all night long. When she was discovered the following morning by an employee she could not stand on her own and her voice was so hoarse from screaming for help all night that she couldn't even speak. The only signs of life were her shallow breaths and slight eye movements. The incident was made all the worse when it was realized that the automated lights shut off early in Cunningham's ordeal leaving her to suffer in the pitch black all alone throughout the night.

College and university students in the San Francisco area were quick to condemn Cynthia Cunningham saying that her injury was a result of her own ignorance about the struggles and hardships facing transgender people everywhere and everyday in today's world. Steven Brandenburg, a campus leader and organizer for progressive demonstrations at USC called for a protest outside the hospital Cunningham was admitted.

“We need to highlight and shame ignorance and bigotry wherever it may be found.” Brandenburg posted on his twitterfeed. “This biased and transphobic relic of a bygone era clearly demonstrates how society marginalizes the challenges transitional people have when finding acceptance and understanding among the mainstream straight population. If Cynthia Cunningham would have educated herself on the modern world a bit more she would not be in the situation she is now.”

There is no word about Cunningham's condition but it is believed that she will soon be moved to another hospital to avoid the student protesters who have been turning up at the hospital campus and damaging property throughout the day.

Komrades! No one said the struggle for gender equity in Public Crappers would be easy. No one said there would not be collateral damage. Granny took a bullet for Social Justice!

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(based on a Daletoon)

If this lady trapped in the toilet in the Target restroom (because a Transgender man had previously used it and in so doing had reflexively left the toilet seat "up") were to have been a genuine progressive, she wouldn't have needed to use the toilet in the Target in the first place as illustrated in this educational video (starting at 1:26).

--KOOK

*Don't forget our "other handed " brothers and sisters friends...

Captain Craptek wrote:... *Don't forget our "other handed " brothers and sisters friends...

Wait, Comrade Craptek...

You tell the Kollektive that in Amerikkka they have no regard for Quranic sensibilities?
You mean, until now - your divine intervention - they were forced to touch the urinal with their right hands?

Filthy dogs, don't they know the difference between the right hand - the hand of Allah (PBUH), light, purity - and the left one, the hand of Shaitan?

Learn (in a jiffy) about hand, Shaitan, and Quranic non-urinality :
(to be fair, the guy - Sheikh Wagdi Ghoneim - has (here) a simpatico comic nerve)



(if the link doesn't work - only Allah (PBUH) knows why - go directly to MEMRI)

Can it be proven that the toilet was hacked by the Russians?

If not, let's take a guess - which one of the 57 genders could be responsible for this collateral damage in our heroic war for gender equality?

The answer doesn't have to be truthful as long as it implicates a white heterosexual male. And if that white heterosexual male can also be proven to have a connection to Russia, that's a bonus.

Evil Smiley wrote:

I laughed. I cried. I guffawed.

Yet another intrinsic dialectical contradiction! Leading once again to Barely Socratic Questions.

Comrades, how come that in the glorious race to total diversity there is but ONE final horizon, the totally unfettered GENDER?

Plus: GENDER itself is a social construct, if there is any!
G-E-N-D-E-R. Take the social construct Alphabet away, and there goes your 'GENDER', haha.
Take the social construct Speech away, and the best you can express is khrtk, wwvbpk, meow.
DIVERSITY vs. THE GENDER - thesis and antithesis, in waiting for Marxistic fusion into synthesis.

Red Square wrote:Can it be proven that the toilet was hacked by the Russians?

The answer doesn't have to be truthful as long as it implicates a white heterosexual male. And if that white heterosexual male can also be proven to have a connection to Russia, that's a bonus.

The blame has already been placed on the victim, what more can we do but denounce her and mock her for being elderly? Looks like our work is done here. I'm going to the tractor barn to relax...time for happy hour! Please note, I personally am pretty tired of womynfolk leaving the seat down forcing me to use my advanced gunnery skills...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Red Square wrote:Can it be proven that the toilet was hacked by the Russians?

The answer doesn't have to be truthful as long as it implicates a white heterosexual male. And if that white heterosexual male can also be proven to have a connection to Russia, that's a bonus.

The blame has already been placed on the victim, what more can we do but denounce her and mock her for being elderly? Looks like our work is done here. I'm going to the tractor barn to relax...time for happy hour! Please note, [highlight=#ffff00]I personally am pretty tired of womynfolk leaving the seat down forcing me to use my advanced gunnery skills...[/highlight]

I don't blame you - must be difficult hitting the target with a snub nose barrel - even with your advanced skills. (it's that menopause thing again Comrade...sorry)

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! Social Alert is there a cry of victimhood away!

(someone photoshop this please)

It is her fault for buying her grandson a game instead of using free to play ones. He should be living in a world where all can join and do whatever as long as they pay 200 euros in IAPs. He could be spending his time playing Game of War: Fire Age with its glorious womyn-liberating propaganda. he would have been playing Club Penguin if capitalists from a company that is probably racist and homophobic decided to shut it down.