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Death and pastries: gay couple walks into Islamic bakery

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In Dearborn Michigan yesterday during the early afternoon hours a gay couple, who were searching for a bakery that would cater to their wedding needs, was surrounded by a crowd and pelted with rocks and loose bricks until their death.

The couple walked into "By the Prophet," a well known Muslim-owned bakery and tea house and inquired about a cake with two grooms as the topper. The result was a small riot that caused their demise. There was no public outcry. Left wing media and commentators are currently debating behind closed doors about who to defend and who to blame over this catch-22 incident.

Filmmaker Michael Moore, a Michigan native, was reached this morning for his take on the issue.

"Its not like there is a clear bad guy here, I mean there's no Republicans, Christians, or even Jews involved," Moore said. "Who are we supposed to denounce in a situation like this?"

Moore's confusion is echoed throughout the media and among his progressive peers. "Our colleagues are left with a big problem here," Moore continued. "I mean there are millions of people that are right now trying to point a finger in rage at someone over what happened, but instead their flaccid fingers are dangling towards the ground." Moore then turned his head to look out the window as a single tear ran down his face.

"We have two oppressed groups of people here involved, so we are torn apart trying to unquestionably defend both of them," Moore continued. "If we dare call out our Muslim friends, that would imply we think they are violent. That would make us bigots and we'd be no different from the Islamophobic right-wingers."

"Perhaps we can call this an example of a minority lashing out against white Christian supremacists. They have a right to their beliefs and we might just have to go with that," said the progressive filmmaker. "On the other hand, and we can't say that a gay couple were wrong to want a wedding cake from their bakery. Back to square one."

As confusion runs rampant among the progressive ranks, once proud and outspoken liberals can be seen walking aimlessly in streets and in their homes with a blank look on their faces, having no clear target for their anger.

"In the end," Moore added, "we will probably just have to bury this incident and forget that it ever even happened."

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Chedoh wrote: "In the end" Moore stated "We will probably just have to bury this and forget that it ever even happened, what else can we possibly do?
Slap a COEXIST sticker on the coffins and grave markers of the betrothed, as well as on the bakery window. That will reinforce the tolerance mantra among our struggling comrades until we can purge the dirty hateful Christians from society. Then and only then should we attempt to settle this dispute between the fashion-minded and the fascist-minded among the collective.

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Were you talking about this post? Yes, comrades it was a trick. You see the set up by the 'owners' and the 'customer'. Capitalists are pretending that our Muslim Brothers are anti-gay. This was a set up years ago, but our agency has fought this organization. Our plans were to delay video to April 2nd 2015. That is why you see it now then a couple of years ago.

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The "I" in COEXIST should be a thermometer, for our global warming religion.

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The greatest dilemma of the progressive age.

Minority-on-minority crime: whose side are you on?

[img]/images/Gay_Wedding_Cake_Muslim_Stoning.jpg[/img]


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Red Square wrote:The greatest dilemma of the progressive age. Minority-on-minority crime: whose side are you on?
There you are Direktor Red Square, I was beginning to wonder whether we should send out a search party or start a 'Save Oleg' campaign in the spirit of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Perhaps you were taking a much needed day of rest at your lake-front dacha after a solid decade of service to the people, or maybe you imbibed too many peasant rations of beet vodka at the Cube's Birthday Bash? I know the Beet Casserole had me longing for the days before low-flow toilets. Glad to see you back at your post, generously serving the collective once again.

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What is all the fuss about?

The grooms had several styles to select from. I found this example on a Muslim bakery site.
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My word. I thought the title was actually:

Death and pasties: gay couple walks into Islamic bakery

You know, I could see that, because I understand that men are forbidden to wear pasties in the holy Duran Duran.

And that reminds me of a joke. Two men walk into an Islamic bakery. The guy behind them sees it and steps aside. The two guys are already stoned, which is why they walked into the bakery instead of the door, so the crowd figures they don't need any more stoning and just beats them to death with baseball bats. "Louisville Slugger, made in America, nothing like them for beating infidels," commented one of the innocent bystanders.

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This isn't good comrades. What was intended to smear the Christians, is now backfiring on us as protests are breaking out in the Religion of Peace community. The Christians were eager to turn the other cheek and abide by our gag order, however I fear that our Jihadi allies are taking it all very seriously now that we have come out of the gulag for the LGBTALPHABETSOUP community.

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Congratulations, Comrade Chedoh! Your report made the Mother Page!

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As Party appointed Doctor with saw, I say return to the wisdom of the past with the insight of next Tuesday and saw them all in half. Two equal parts! Equality achieved with the help of Government Health Care. You will thank me later Kom Rads.

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Comrades, I am humbled and honored that my report has made the Mother Page. However, all praise must be focused on the cube and our glorious cause! It was my most deeply saddening duty to report the many, many, flaccid fingers out there and hope that by Stalin's Ghost there will be a end to this tail spinning dilemma!

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He forgot!
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        Mystery item No. 1

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Comrade Putout, I think we should retire to the Peoples Laboratory™ and find a way to come up with some sort of new pill or device that will allow our comrades flaccid pointing finger to become once again erected so that it may be used to stimulate our progressive cause!

Look, Comrade! Things are worse than I thought!

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I don't think this particular "Denouncement Aid" is working. Not to mention how unsightly it is...

How can our comrades at the front be effective if they can't get their finger up?


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Comrade Putout wrote:Cha ching!
You've really outdone yourself with this latest masterpiece Comrade Putout. Speaking of 'cha ching', I hear the proprietor of Memories Pizza is nearly a millionaire. Yet another example of redistribution inequality. Love the coffee mug by the way. Nice touch. Like the Clintonista's always say, put-out or get out... or was it pull out? I forget. What difference does it make?

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Sides! Sides! Why must we always take sides. Let's take the fronts and backs also. Whole hog I say. Time for the Minors to leave the mines, or for minorities to leave the minor mines. Step up and out, declare your passions. Remember Allah said be forgiving, just bring your own stones. I must have more of this Beet wine, not bad at all. Anyone have cake? Can a Pizza be truly Gay?

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The final media report headline on this story:
"Rape Culture Exposed in Farmington Hills Private High School"

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Convert or Else:

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Compulsory theological conformity for the Good of the Collective

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Just FYI, I'm a non-theist (remember NAAAAH which means "Not All Atheists Are Assininely Hubristic" -- i.e., "Not All Atheists Are Ass Holes" -- see GUTSPAR. Don't forget that the fundamentalist Christian, John Ashcroft, said (I paraphrase): "Compulsory piety is offensive to God."


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--KOOK

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This story by Chedoh was translated into Russian and published here -

Пирожные и смерть

It's right-libertarian website and radio station in St. Petersburg, Russia. They have already translated and published a bunch of our stories in the past.

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Excellent debate here - which minority's grievance carries more validity? I can't help but wonder at the picture of the mob of Muslim bigots, surely anyone who rails against the gay lifestyle with that much fervor has some closet gay tendencies? Tee hee. I hope all of their children grow up to be gay!
Konservative_Punk wrote:
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