China: Making Totalitarian Socialism Cool Again

On behalf of the People’s Cube and the Democratic Party, I wish to extend our collective praise to the People’s Republic of China for their most awesome and spectacular opening of the 29^th Olympiad. Congratulations, PRC!

We wish you the very best in your efforts in usurping the mantle of “superpower” from the Yankee American scum. Never forget that we, the bluer half of America, are with you all the way. Go, PRC!

Now for the peaceful observance of the national anthem of the PRC which is appropriately titled the March of the Volunteers (I’m sure the march wasn’t voluntary).



 

Foolish Red State Yahoos. The PRC will crush the Yankee-bean fools!
 

That was it? That is as long an anthem as the People's State of China can produce with a population of over 4.2 gigatrillion? I mean, it is a catchy tune and everything, easy to dance. denounce, and detain to, but a bit too brief. Why, I barely finished having sex in the time it took.
 

Marshal Pupovich

That was it? That is as long an anthem as the People's State of China can produce with a population of over 4.2 gigatrillion? I mean, it is a catchy tune and everything, easy to dance. denounce, and detain to, but a bit too brief. Why, I barely finished having sex in the time it took.Umm. . . yes sircomrade.
 

I nearly soiled myself in glee when the Chinese lit the Olympic cauldron using gasoline-drenched Tibetan monks. Spectacular. Did you Comrades see the ceremony?
 

I have not watched but about 3 minutes of Olympics. Never really understood the desire to watch a bunch of sports that at any other time, can't attract enough audience to pay their way in college sports. Turn it on and what do I see? Beach volley ball and women's fencing. But the opening ceremnony with the burning monks sure sounds exciting.
 

I thought the commentary during the flag raising ceremony was wonderful. The PRC flag was paraded out by children dressed in all the various ethnic costumes of the various ethnic groups currently governed by the PRC. The NBC commentators noted the harmonious relationship between the State and the various ethnic components thereof. The flag was then taken from the children by a crack team of goose-stepping soldiers, marched to the flagpole and raised. The NBC commentators noted that this symbolizes the fact that only the State can provide security, peace and harmony. My friends, it made me weep with collectivist pride to hear American commentators intone this solid truth, that only the STATE can secure the People
 

I especially liked giant fiery boots march over city crushing skulls of urban leeches so can avoid expense of "relocation". Nice.

And as previously mentioned, by brother Ivan, brilliant NBC commentary telling how to feel when state must use force to relieve proletariat of innocence, dignity and identity. Favorite NVC.. buh, er... NBC quote "Larry, many people know that the Chinese invented gunpowder but most don't know this... the Chinese actually created the whole concept of 'Light'".

Oh I almost forget, do not mourn for monks used to light torches and fireworks. They are FINALLY able to contribute something.
 

NBC's Matt Lauer and their consultant "Josh" (Joshua Cooper Ramo, NBC's China analyst) did a wonderful job during the opening ceremony indeed. Not only did they state in the episode that Betinov had mentioned that the soldiers symbolized the power of the state to provide the Children(TM) with security that the Children(TM) never had in the previous centuries. On many occasions they also praised the glories of collectivism, diminishing the value of the individual achievement, they glorified the power of the state to solve environmental problems, as well as other problems, in order to achieve a perfect harmony, which they said is the current truth supported by the Chinese people and the government. They stated that using the muscle power of thousands of people in creating the visual effects during the show was much more superior to technology, computers, and hydrolics. And in the final scene they connected the birds on the large screen to global warming and the triumph of environmentalism.

It still remains unclear to me if Matt Lauer and consultant "Josh" were too lazy and just mechanically voiced the text provided by the friendly Chinese propagandists without actually comprehending the words that were coming out of their mouths (useful idiots) - or they willingly praised the more "progressive" and "superior" Chinese system because they honestly believe in the moral superiority of socialism and collectivism (useful accomplices). It could be a little bit of both too.
 

Marshal Pupovich

Turn it on and what do I see? Beach volley ball
Oh The Humanity! The Bushitler has soiled these amazing asses athletes with his slimy blood and oil stained hands.



 

BUSHITLER ABUSES POTENTIAL OBAMA VOTERS!

In a confrontation that quickly grew violent, "President" George W. Bush today physically attacked two young women he suspected of supporting presidential candidate Barak Obama. Following a brief attempt to court their votes for a Constitutional amendment that would allow him to steal a third term in office (first photograph), Bush's rhetoric evolved first into a heated verbal exchange (second photograph) and ultimately into a cowardly sneak attack (third photograph) after one of the women unwisely turned her back on the fanatical dictator.
 

Ewww! Bush sweats!

Obama doesn't sweat at all. What a man! Just ask Judith Bonesky.





That's it, Misty, bend over so he can do to you what he's done to America, the Constitution, the whole world!
 

After hearing the wonderful reports about the commentary from the opening of the Olympics, I feel even more shame. Yes, shame piled on the fact, that with this post, I have now become more equal that Premier Betty as the comrade with the most posts here at the Cube. It is all the fault of collusion between Premier Betty and Bush!


 

That's not sweat, Comrades. No, that watery substance on the Bushitler’s shirt is the tears from the eyes of American children who cry themselves to sleep every night since they are without jackbooted soldiers to parade them about in ethnic costumes. Bush fancies wearing the tears of children on his garments as a sort of aphrodisiac.

This aphrodisiac compels people to like him when they are exposed to the tears which is why everyone Bush meets at the Olympics is "happy" to see him.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

This aphrodisiac compels people to like him when they are exposed to the tears which is why everyone Bush meets at the Olympics is "happy" to see him.

So those aren't just "Peoples Pickles" in their pockets Chairman?
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

On behalf of the People’s Cube and the Democratic Party, I wish to extend our collective praise to the People’s Republic of China for their most awesome and spectacular opening of the 29^th Olympiad. Congratulations, PRC!

We wish you the very best in your efforts in usurping the mantle of “superpower” from the Yankee American scum. Never forget that we, the bluer half of America, are with you all the way. Go, PRC!

Now for the peaceful observance of the national anthem of the PRC which is appropriately titled the March of the Volunteers (I’m sure the march wasn’t voluntary).



Many kind thanks, Mr. Chairman! I have never been so proud of Mother China.

It hs been a very busy week, leading counterinsurgency operations customer service training to deal with a few disgruntled holdouts for previous faliled regimes. Why all this angst over a little patch of rice called Tibet is beyond me - get over it!

Back to my point. I have had little time for watching the events, or for browsing The Cube. However, I nearly lost my Kibbles 'N Bits upon seeing the above photos of predator BusHitler subverting nubile, atheltic young women to his evil plans. He has been feasting on Kung Pao Kitten every night, according to our agents. The scum will pay for his crimes!

I have to go now, we have received word of a Halliburton-sponsored party in the VIP enclave that we must crash...word is they have SUSHI!
 

I thought I saw you comrade general cat.... selling Peoples Cotton Candy. I do hope you didn't use lead based coloring.
 

Thank you, kind Marshal. Your powers of observation are obviously diminished...perhaps from food contamination? Please tell me your food taster Dmitri is alive and well. We pay him enough each year to buy a nice dacha, and send him enough tainted food to feed an army!

All our lead-based coloring has been going into Pupovich Chow lately. Surely you have heard of some unfortunate cases of tainted dog food shipping from China? We must address this issue soon...but not yet...
 

Here, I have sent you another complimentary case...enjoy dinner on me, Marshal!


 

I know Pupovich won't be amused, but I can't stop laughing at that!

Mousey-Tongue, you almost look like the Sun Maid Raisin Girl at the bottom of that package.
 

I feed the "help" around my Dacha -- the help that FAILS ME -- Pupovich Chow.

Pupovich Chow: If the lead doesn't kill you the ammonia-soaked beef bits will.
 

The joke's on you, Comrade Cat: I know for a fact that Pupovich has been on the Gravy Train for years.
 

Mr. Chairman, you know our secret recipe, no? I am embarassed to admit that the 'beef bits' are actually from water buffalo that collapse from exhaustion in the rice paddies. It sometimes takes days to retrieve them, but in our Worker's Paradise nothing is wasted.

Comrade Betinov, you have revealed my maskirova. Good! Was it Confucius or George Clooney who said, "Bitter is the water drawn from a stolen well." Of all the spoils of his postion on which he feasts, the good Marshal will never suspect that the choicest tidbits have been placed there by design.

Polonium - it's what's for dinner!^TM
 

Commissarka Pinkie

I know Pupovich won't be amused, but I can't stop laughing at that!

Mousey-Tongue, you almost look like the Sun Maid Raisin Girl at the bottom of that package.

It portrays my humble countenance upon the glorious coming of Next Tuesday. Actually, my loyal supporters invented this work of art long before the Running Dog Amerikkans stole it and slapped a whore over my image:



Then again, I suppose they were not the first to slap a whore, just ask Comrade Spitzer...
 

My silly, deranged, and misguided Comrades (the Chairman excused naturally), do you really believe that I, being a more equal from South Louisiana, would ever dine on such fair as the clearly slanderous food as presented here? I present for your prying eyes, though they do not deserve such, a typical meal with Marshal Pupovich:


 

Just how old is that picture, Marshal? The MTE's ass hasn't been that small in this millineum.
 

Don't sell the Many Titted Empress short Comrade Betinov, she certainly doesn't nor is she cheap. You forget that the Empress has had a few weeks out of the media spotlight and has used that time well on her thigh master.... otherwise known as the Chairman. She is getting herself in prime shape, to look and feel her best for the Convention, for she has plans Comrade. Believe me Comrade, she wants the presidency bad, and there is nothing she will not do, no super delegate that does not have "needs" that she can not satisfy, no skeleton in a closet that can not be rattled. While Hillary may be back to her best shape she has been in for years, you can be sure, it won't be pretty in Denver, not pretty at all!

Oh, and thanks for not delving into the secret "operative" sharing our crawfish.
 

What operative? I don't see anyone else in the photo...
 

Exactly Comrade Brain in the Jar, I couldn't have said it better, even with PeopleSynch™.
 

This is a travesty! That's BUSHITLER!

When will the Chairman deal with Marshal Pupovich's treason? If our beloved MTE or even BHO fail to win the election, it will be because of his treachery...
 

Tsk tsk.... General Cat, remember, things are not always as they seem....