Apr 12: Laika the Space Dog gets statue on Cosmonautics Day



To many progressives Soviet space program symbolized the superiority of planned socialist economy over the greedy and selfish capitalism. But the Greater Good requires sacrifices.
Truth be told, the very first such heroic sacrifice in space was made not by Gagarin, but by Laika the Space Dog, who volunteered to be the first living creature in orbit 4 years prior to Gagarin. Laika's flight plan didn't even involve a return from orbit, which makes this dog's dedication to progress and socialism even more solid - a shining example of service to the community that all progressives must follow.
This music video re-enactment of Laika's heroic flight is a tutorial showing how human and animal persons must sacrifice their individual happiness in order to achieve a glorious state of collective happiness, which is superior to selfish capitalist greed.
To honor such a great hero of the people, Laika's statue was recently unveilednear a military research facility in Moscow (Ushanka tip to Telstar Logistics and Commander Djinn who sent us the link).

For more on Laika go here.
And, of course, no great story is really great if it's not on the front page of the New York Times.



Pioneering Space Dog Laika Gets Monumental Treatment in Russia


And a bigger statue.








Cheers! *clink*


That is an excellent choice of high-end antifreeze you chose Chairman! Mind if I ask what vintage?
Benjy
And to think, had this wonderfully progressive dog been born in the evil US of Amerikkka, it would have grown up with a loving family. Probably played in a yard with a white-picket fence, which is clearly a symbol of the white patriarchy oppressing the masses which is probably why it has such an idyllic connotation to the evil white capitalist pigs. And she would have never gotten the chance to sacrifice herself to the State for the Common Good.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Happy Laika Day, Comrades! Let us all drink a glass of the high-end anti-freeze in honor of Laika the Space Dog!Cheers! *clink*
Workers.
it is important to remember loyal members of the revolution. However, simply because this comarade has stood her post for several decades, there is no need to engage in "the cult of personality".
it is all peoples first best destiny to serve the collective without complaint.
Secondly, the flowers wasted as a emotional gesture, were obviously depostied by a counter revolutionary. in the failing west, these poises represent the missing dead!
LAIKA SERVES STILL!
you might be shocked by how many submarines of the great peoples navy are still on patrol
we are draining a torpedo as i write this. its fuel will fuel our proud toasts.
confirm distance to target
one ping only


I am humbled and honored that this highly esteemed display of gratitude has been bestowed upon me.
I shall continue to serve to the best of my abilities!
But to whom shall I serve?
That is for The Party™ to decide in Denver this year.
We have made many progressive strides together with the expectation of completing our Five Year Plan one year ahead of schedule come the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ this first Tuesday in November of 2008.
Before that though I must work on the Annual May Day Address. Much depends on the outcome in Pennsylvania on Lenin's Birthday and Earth Day, a fitting day to show the nation the shining path as to what kind of socialism we will adhere to...The Strong Communism of our MTE or the Strong Obamunism of Comrade Barack. I'm sure the Proletarians of Pennsylvania will choose wisely in this endeavor, after all, it is The Keystone State.
Again, my humble thanks and LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!


I once aspired to pursue a career in Cosmonautics, but I flunked out of beauty school.
Billy
Mommy says you are up there and you're real and if I'm bad you see it and if I'm good you see it too. Please bring me a new gun for Cosmonautics day and a Lego Cosmonaut set too. Thanks. I think you're neat. We'll put cookies and milk by the chimney.
Billy


Laika cannot hear you unless you are wearing a tinfoil hat. Also, Laika does not reward good pioneers with something dangerous like a gun. You'll shoot your eye out, kid - not to mention a school since we all know guns take control of their handler's brain causing them to go on a bloodthirsty rampage.
Here's an idea, Billy: How about Laika gets you a nice bag of tofu and Daniel Ellsberg's greatest hits?





The Man Who Is Married to Our Many Titted Empress tends to go through dogs in a hurry, both those with two legs and four.






To establish contact with Laika send inquiries to Dan Rather about this week's frequency (C/O Comrade Kenneth).


Salute to Laika who like soon to be Glorious leader of Re-Newed Party of the Pipples is also a
Now is time to foil up the tin hats and recieve the messages from glorious bitch of the Pipples.

Power to the troddendown and Dalia Lamas selling concessions.





Comrade Drago
all the people in the video i posted are looking up into space at LaikaDa. All except Glorious General who has tired hand standing on Balustrade and returning Salute of true Heroes of the nation. He has looked over and down while pretending to say something important to Great leader. Perhaps Laika left 'present'?
Also tenth Glorious soldier in first rank in third column in third echelon with hat on head wearing uniform and carrying Rifle in hands was out of step.
All others were riveted by glorious
Power to the Troddendown and former Presidents who talk to Hamas.




Red Square
It may be a secret parade to honor Laika, because I've seen many of those parades for real and they have never marched to heavy metal rhythm. This is probably how an LSD trip of a Soviet drill sergeant looks like. Creepy. Or was it just a transmission interference due to an improperly foiled up tin hat? Yeah, that's what it is, interference. I should remember to keep my shovel at least two meters away from my head during the sessions.Honorable and Glorious Leader has Metal Trotskyite Shovel? Not have wonderfull new non metal never rust guaranteed for ever or money back just two for $19.95 you pay the shipping and handling Shovel? (Glorious Red Sun Party Extra large Commissar size)
Power to the troddendown and Mayors in Phoenix who go after Sheriff's in Maricopa County.


Syphillus Rachacockov


Red Square
It may be a secret parade to honor Laika, because I've seen many of those parades for real and they have never marched to heavy metal rhythm.I thought I had seen you before! You were probably unable to see me from below since between fetching things for the Glorious Leader at the time and snacking on the Party Platter, all I had was a rather shakey stand on top of "Lenin's Bedroom" as we called it so I could peer over the wall. I imagine there must be at least a few pictures out there of me on the grandstand.


Commissar Pupovich
Red Square
It may be a secret parade to honor Laika, because I've seen many of those parades for real and they have never marched to heavy metal rhythm.I thought I had seen you before! You were probably unable to see me from below since between fetching things for the Glorious Leader at the time and snacking on the Party Platter, all I had was a rather shakey stand on top of "Lenin's Bedroom" as we called it so I could peer over the wall. I imagine there must be at least a few pictures out there of me on the grandstand.
Was leg up?
Power to troddendown and former Presidents with out brains that visit Hamas.


Commissar Theocritus
I sorrow daily to think that Laika never did give us puppies, which could have been used to found a race of Superdogs.Like this?





Mousey-Tongue
Commissar Theocritus
I sorrow daily to think that Laika never did give us puppies, which could have been used to found a race of Superdogs.Like this?

Comrade Mousey Tongue, for some time I have taken some minor interest in your attacks on my nephew Commissar Pupovich. Now I see you have even gone so far as to make fun of one of the greatest dogs in history, a dog that was truly on the forefront of universal socialism.
Comrade Mousey Tongue, I knew Mao Tse Tung, I collaborated with Mao Tse Tung, I fought Mao Tse Tung. You sir are no Mao Tse Tung!




Anonymous
Uncle Iosif
Comrade Mousey Tongue, I knew Mao Tse Tung, I collaborated with Mao Tse Tung, I fought Mao Tse Tung. You sir are no Mao Tse Tung!That hurts...


This gives new meaning to thousand-year-old eggs.


Uncle Iosif
Comrade Mousey Tongue, I knew Mao Tse Tung, I collaborated with Mao Tse Tung, I fought Mao Tse Tung. You sir are no Mao Tse Tung!?????
The sting of rebuke is again upon me. For the Love of Mao, I don't understand why you Russkies are so sensitive! Let me assure you, Uncle Iosif, it was not my intention to mock Comrade Laika. If any of my comments were somehow upsetting or offensive, I sincerely apoligize. Perhaps I should have stated my position more clearly. Allow me to clarify -
[loud crashing noise]
(My security chairman has notified me that jack-booted hounds have penetrated my compound. Fortunately, I keep my Hind helicopter on standby just for situations like this. I will take my litter, my guns, my copy of Das Kapital, and seclude myself in bitter exile. In an undisclosed location, of course. Farewell for now my comrades. I must get my Hind out of here!)

comrades!
again and again the "cult of personality" concerning sub Commander Kennedy . senator of the proliferate (lol) raises its ugly capitalist head!
as a military mutant, i hereby state that Kennedy and his family(and homies) really and truly know how to celebrate Good Friday.
The Sub commander meets the attractive cosnopolite in his undervasser ware with four inchies of dark liquid in the glass in his hand and then politely orders young smith to rape her
i feel perhaps the mouse - u know the chinese mouse - might enjoy a toss into and tumble around a MAYBACK limo
sweet heroes of the revolution
i love mayday - so soon workers
confirm distance to decent meal
one ping only




one ping only
i feel perhaps the mouse - u know the chinese mouse - might enjoy a toss into and tumble around a MAYBACK limoMy poor, mind-ravaged comrade, I am a cat, and a cat not to be trifled with.
You should have your chief engineer check your oxygen level on that submarine. How long has your tour of duty been, comrade? Perhaps you need a month of rest and recuperation at Pupovich's dacha? I am sure he would be more than happy to oblige.


Mousey-Tongue
one ping only
i feel perhaps the mouse - u know the chinese mouse - might enjoy a toss into and tumble around a MAYBACK limoMy poor, mind-ravaged comrade, I am a cat, and a cat not to be trifled with.
You should have your chief engineer check your oxygen level on that submarine. How long has your tour of duty been, comrade? Perhaps you need a month of rest and recuperation at Pupovich's dacha? I am sure he would be more than happy to oblige.
COMRADES!!!
Enough!!!
We are all progressives here!!! Working to
--
ZB

comrade Zam D
i am shamed (and a little bitter) to realize how correct think you are!
We cannot fight amongst ourselves. We need peace (of Tibet).
The workers will control the means of production, labor is the only value.
The cat says to check with my engineer, scotty (they are all named scotty even the ones from Minsk). i tried to. he is busy having his dinner
confirm distance to cat
one ping only


SALUTE!!! to you, Friend of People, on your glorious day of honor!
I beg a thousands pardons for my tardiness in being forthcoming with my warmest regards! But the political work of The Revolution next Tuesday™ never ends! (Plus this Zampolit's girlfriend is moving next weekend and the place she is moving into had to be painted! Talk about a labor camp!!! *pfft!!!* I am beginning to suspect that she is a Kapitalist as I did not get paid!). Your daily transmissions to my tinfoil hat inspire me to struggle onward in my quest to make the People's CommonWealth of Virginia a model Socialist Utopia in our plan for a perfect United Soviet States of America!!!
--
ZB


one ping only
Start acting like it! If you need to attack someone/something, attack the troglodytes in the RethugliKKKan Party!comrade Zam D
i am shamed (and a little bitter) to realize how correct think you are!
We cannot fight amongst ourselves. We need peace (of Tibet).
The workers will control the means of production, labor is the only value.
The cat says to check with my engineer, scotty (they are all named scotty even the ones from Minsk). i tried to. he is busy having his dinner
confirm distance to cat
one ping only
(I agree!) I also share bitterness and regret, enough to cough up furball of remorse. Comrade one ping only, may your sonar ring clear and your torpedoes run true.
WE MUST FOCUS OUR
You are wise, Zampolit Blokhayev! I accept your correction, and eagerly await our People's glorious triumph under the leadership of our wondrous Empress! Next Tuesday!






Um... where is Earth?


Comrades! I am confident that our new plans for world domination are succeeding! By deceiving the evil capitalists into thinking that high-production-value music videos of questionable philosophical content are politically impotent tools for criticism of the prevailing power structure, we have infiltrated the inner sancta of their minds!


Captain Irony
Laika is dead.I am sure this will come as a great surprise to Laika.....and a notice to strengthen her signal to your Party approved tin foil helmet.
Welcome to the Cube Comrade Irony. Speaking of irony....the line forms to the left.... you get it? The left? Ha! That cracks me up every time! The guard will direct you to where you may pick up your blunted shovel and will give you a little "orientation" to the Karl Marx Reeducation Center.


He was playing "The Internationale" backwards again on his "Close 'N Play".
"Laika is Dead"..."I bury Lenin"...all that crap is just 1960s nostalgia...and walking across Lubiyanka barepawed and out of step is not a sign of mourning in Kamchatka.



Laika - which commissar is in charge of phonograph distribution and what favor must I trade for getting one? I'm willing to go all the way short of denouncing myself. Perhaps a disappearance of a potential competitor for his position would be a fair price?
With Laika up there in the sky watching us, receiving our transmissions and sending us instructions, she's a Marxist's closest thing to God. We pray to her daily and follow her little voice we hear underneath our tinfoil hats. So who else would I submit such a request?
Praise Laika! We do it all with Laika's help. She never ceases to be our shining light in troubled times and to set our moral compass.




Quote:
The guard will direct youComrade! My sincerest gratitude to Laika the Space Dog! Since my reeducation, I have come to accept her reality. It is an honor to belong to a Party where the guards are guarded by proper doctrine!


Laika the Space Dog
Nevermind Capt. Irony.He was playing "The Internationale" backwards again on his "Close 'N Play".
"Laika is Dead"..."I bury Lenin"...all that crap is just 1960s nostalgia...and walking across Lubiyanka barepawed and out of step is not a sign of mourning in Kamchatka.
But you must admit, it was a brilliant propoganda plan! Every record those Lubyanka Lads made that had the clues went right to the top of the Party's Required Listening list.


Red Square
With Laika up there in the sky watching us, receiving our transmissions and sending us instructions, she's a Marxist's closest thing to God. We pray to her daily and follow her little voice we hear underneath our tinfoil hats. So who else would I submit such a request?Praise Laika! We do it all with Laika's help. She never ceases to be our shining light in troubled times and to set our moral compass.
That was beautiful Comrade! An inspiration to us all.
Hero Laika is my shepherd; I shall not want.
She maketh me to shovel the green earth: she leadeth me to denounce my comrades.
She restoreth my subsidies: She leadeth me in the paths of political correctness for the Empress' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the dark halls of Lubyanka, I will fear no evil: I have a Get Out the Gulag card; thy paw and thy wagging tail comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my collective: thou grease my hands with contributions; my shotglass runneth over.
Surely gratuities and spoils shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will listen to the frequencies of Laika for ever.


Commissar Pupovich
Laika the Space Dog
Nevermind Capt. Irony.He was playing "The Internationale" backwards again on his "Close 'N Play".
"Laika is Dead"..."I bury Lenin"...all that crap is just 1960s nostalgia...and walking across Lubiyanka barepawed and out of step is not a sign of mourning in Kamchatka.
But you must admit, it was a brilliant propoganda plan! Every record those Lubyanka Lads made that had the clues went right to the top of the Party's Required Listening list.
I always thought Laika was the cute one--and certainly the most successful; when was the last time you heard anything about the others?
But I'll never forget when our local commissar made us burn all their records after one of the Lads said their group was more popular than Lenin.


We must protect her lest she gets entangled with some three-legged bitch as in Paul's prophetic song "3 Legs":
A Dog is here, (a dog is here),
a dog is there (a dog is there)
My dog he got three leg
but he can't run
My dog he got three leg
Your dog he got none
My dog he got three leg
Your dog he got none
My dog he got three leg
Your dog he got none


Pinkie
But I'll never forget when our local commissar made us burn all their records after one of the Lads said their group was more popular than LeninPinkie, was that before you learned the trick of placing the revered object above criticism? There is much to be said for making someone or something sui generis.
This is the key to my survival with Our Many Titted Empress. That way I don't have to pretend that she invented the atom. She thinks that I think that she does and lets me kindly mention others from time to time.
It's a load of bullshiit of course, but it works. You might have said, "The Lubyanka Lads are the dreamiest [that being when you were a teenaged commissarka]" without having to even bother to add the sir reverence of, "But nothing can compare to Comrade Lenin."




Commissar Theocritus
Pinkie
But I'll never forget when our local commissar made us burn all their records after one of the Lads said their group was more popular than LeninPinkie, was that before you learned the trick of placing the revered object above criticism? There is much to be said for making someone or something sui generis.
This is the key to my survival with Our Many Titted Empress. That way I don't have to pretend that she invented the atom. She thinks that I think that she does and lets me kindly mention others from time to time.
It's a load of bullshiit of course, but it works. You might have said, "The Lubyanka Lads are the dreamiest [that being when you were a teenaged commissarka]" without having to even bother to add the sir reverence of, "But nothing can compare to Comrade Lenin."
Like the Vlad Dracula avatar....


Because I don't have cancer.


I remember a beautiful young future Commissarka screaming in the front row, but Pinkie, you were mistaken, it was Lenin, the witty one, who said "The Progles were more popular than Marx". Thank Stalin that Red Square Starr smoothed things over by explaining it was Groucho, not Karl, that Lenin was commenting about.
Yes, the Lads from Lubiyanka were bigger than Groucho.
And all the hits....I Wanna Hold Your Ration Card....I Saw Her Standing There in The Bread Line....Help, I'm in a gulag, Help, not just any gulag....Next Tuesday, all our troubles will go far away, oh I believe in Next Tuesday.....
It was great to be a Progle.
Laika Loves You, Da! Da! Da!


I can't decide if my favorite is the Red Album or Sergeant Ivanov's Lonely Zek Gulag Band with it's classic, One Day in the Live (of Ivan Denisovich).


But have you noticed that the Lubyanka Lads' composition keeps changing? And why is it that all the roadies seem to be packing heat?
Personally I am going to form a bad named after my namesake: The Vladimir Bloodsuckers.




Bang bang, Pinkie's silver shovel made sure that he was dead . . .
(or at least re-educated)


May all believers in the restoration of the throne with Anastasia be condemned as counter-revolutionary Whites!
Comrades! With my reeducation completed, I am as harmless as a snowball!


Happiness is a Warm Gun Law (other than for the Party of course)
For the Benefit of the Chairman
Baby You Can Drive This Shovel
Taxman (Goes without saying)
Even their early songs still stir the collectivist heart...
Stalin Don't
Che Loves You
There's a Gulag
Do You Want to Share a Secret?
Eight Kulaks a Week
Ticket to Die


Quote:
I'm willing to go all the way short of denouncing myself.Comrade, I question your faith.


"Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Squirrel"
"I Me Mime" (recorded on the roof of the Kremlin)


Quote:
"Please Purge Me"Pinkeleh, try some of the evil capitalist coffee product known by the moniker of the first mate of the ship in the narrative offered by the now-dead author of the story of the white whale. The story, of course, is pointless in decadent bourgeois fashion, having no immediate use for revolutionary purposes. However, feeling redemptively purged can restore to sensation what is otherwise a distantly remembered pleasure. Cf. writings of now-discredited-because-insufficiently-revolutionary Sigmund Freud, who codified in anal pleasure the relation of money to human waste. One might conclude from this that the relentlessly anti-Bolshevik Nazis were acting on childish greedy impulses, thinking to gain something tangible from the extermination of the Jews, when money is simply a function of political economy in the sense that excreta are a function of the digestive one. One could thus say, unironically, that the best thing for a Nazi, on his own terms, is to eat shit and die. However, to say this would be inappropriate, given the convergence of irony and proper Party doctrine. I am grateful to Laika for the therapeutic benefits offered by Marxist re-education centers, one now opening in a neighborhood near you.


Commissar Pupovich
So many hits, so many good memories...Happiness is a Warm Gun Law (other than for the Party of course)
For the Benefit of the Chairman
Baby You Can Drive This Shovel
Taxman (Goes without saying)
Even their early songs still stir the collectivist heart...
Stalin Don't
Che Loves You
There's a Gulag
Do You Want to Share a Secret?
Eight Kulaks a Week
Ticket to Die
LMAO
I’m confused, who was in the band?
Laika on bass
Red Square Starr on drums….


I believe it was George Orwell on lead guitar.
Found myself listening to I Want You, Che's So Heavy earlier tonight. I nearly forgot that classic song and album, Lenin Be. So many songs....


Didn't Red link up with a Bond girl?


I really can't answer you on whom Red is linked to Commissarka.
I sort of imagined you as someone who would have gone for such songs as
Your Neighbor Should Know, Got To Get You Out of My Cell, You Should Have Known Better etc.
I was more a Lavrentiy Beriya's Garden, I Am the Denouncer, While Your Guard Lightyly Sleeps, You'll Cry Instead sort of Pup.


Quote:
I sort of imagined you as someone who would have gone for such songs asYour Neighbor Should Know, Got To Get You Out of My Cell, You Should Have Known Better etc.
OK, that's it, Pupovich. We have been spending entirely too much time together. If you can peg what sort of songs I go for, then Lenin knows what other dirt you have on me.


Hegemony (That's What I Want)
Five Yer Blues
Eight Days Ahead of Schedule
Laika in the Sky with Transponders
Act Locally
Do You Want to Share a State Secret?
Cry Trotsky Cry
Can't Leave the USSR
Day Ration Yeah
You've Got to Hide Your Card Away
Baby You're a Cosmonaut
I Don't Want to Soil the Party Organ
You're Gonna Carry Out That Plan
Don't Let the Collective Down
Hard Labor Camps Forever
Happiness is a Warm Soup
Across the Motherland
I Want to Hold Your Hand Grenade
The Continuing Story of Housing Bill
Fixing a Vote
Oh! Stalin!
The Long and Winding Trial
I'm Seeing Through You
You're Going to Lose Your Family


Chains?
Please Cheese Me
Siberian Woods (This Zek has flown)
Yellow Suborner
I'll Follow Tse Tung
Oh, and lest I forget, this is a "cover" song done by an old forum pal of mine I am sure the collective will enjoy.....




Another old classic....
And along previous line.... a bit odd, but funny.
IronyCurtain
All You Need Is Borscht
The Long And Winding Bread Line
Happiness is a Warm Furry Hat
Roll Over Neighboring Countries
Eight Rubles a Week