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Anthropogenic Pole Shift

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My comrades

It has just come to my attention that the North Pole is shifting towards our dear Russian Motherland.

National Geographic: North Magnetic Pole Moving Due to Core Flux

I discussed this with the Goracle and we have now consensus that this shift of Gaia's magnetic field is totally anthropogenic, since we do not know of anything else that can cause it.

Clearly it is because of all the man made metal on the North American continent that deflects the magnetic field to the east.

It is a well known fact that Gaia's magnetic field is the only thing that protects us from harmful cosmic radiation from the sun and the stars. Computer models show that if the magnetic pole shifts significantly we will experience catastrophic levels of cosmic radiation with large scale extinctions of species, failed crops, increases in cancer, leukemia and other radiation related diseases, famine, war, pestilence, cosmic radiation refugee crises and other nondescript apocalyptic conditions.

We must take action immediately. Me and the most eminent Magnetologists (AKA Al Gore) will draft a consensus document for the United Nations suggesting that all metal be transferred from the North American continent to the Asian and African continents. This includes all automobiles, power pylons, industrial plants and small home appliances.

The North American Continent must repay its Magnetic Debt to the Asian and African peoples. It is clear that since the people of North America have caused this disastrous shift in the magnetic field, but that the people of Asia and Africa will suffer most of the deadly consequences, they owe a large debt, which will probably run into thousands of trillions of dollars, to said people.

We have less than ten years to save the world!

A Luta Continua!

Obamugabe

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Very troubling news comrade. We are on the verge of extinction and there is little we can do about it except raise taxes dramatically and impose Socialist reforms.

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Your Excellency Obamugabe, you have uncovered a very promising new con game an interesting bit of new science here. The Party will need to have it peer-reviewed by Ed Begley, Janeane Gawdawfulo and Prince Charles our scientific review panel. The UN will surely have to be involved as those kleptocratic frauds will want to get a cut of the action.


Ban magnetic pollution! Stop anthropogenic global pole shift! We have only 50 years 20 years 5 years to stop the planet from falling over on its ass like some drunken Senator from Montana! (Just getting my slogan machine warmed up!)

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Aaah! I can't see the world be destroyed! It's my favorite planet, and if I'm doing something to destoy it, I need to stop. Please Goracle, save me from myself!

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Obamugabe - RAAAAACIST!!!

You only make those accusations because the arctic ice is white (ish blue)!

If the arctic ice was black, you'd be blaming Bu$hitler! But only if it wasn't a plot by his Most Reverend Wrongight to destroy the Motherland!

Why can't we just sit down and have a beer and we'll talk about it.

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It is clear something must be done! All magnetic materials must be gathered up and put *back* where they came from. The seizure of non Government Motors cars, polluting heavy machinery, and equipment from non Union controlled manufacturing plants will also create "green" jobs and lead a mandated voluntary shift to Party Approved(TM) technologies.

We aren't just sure why the pole is shifting, but we know it must be because of human activity. The next solution of course will be to stop most human activity. Breathing is not only a cause of pole shifts, but also the exhaling of greenhouse gases.

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I denounce Comrade Reiuxcat for thoughtcrime #3245.2B: Thinking That Black People Can Be Racist!!

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Excellent response Comrade Obamugabe.

I was intentionally using hyperbole to see if your heart is in the right place. As a bi-racial cat (white & tabby, just like his O'liness) I wanted to be sure that your post was strictly about the science.

I am in awe of your grasp of scientific reasoning. Certainly, the consensus of the scientific community is in your favor.

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Don't make me open a wormhole on your racist and anti racist butts! I've got one that goes straight to Pinkie's bedroom and she won't be happy to have you two pop in there debating who is the most racist comrade. Come to think of it she won't be too happy that I have a wormhole to her bedroom... Crap.

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I denounce the Comrade Colonel for inferring a strictly human trait upon a feline!!!

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[HIGHLIGHT=#d8d8d8]"We have less than ten years to save the world!"
[/HIGHLIGHT]
Might be less than that. Last time the Earth's magnetic field shifted, it was the prelude to something far worse. A shift of the entire planet on it's axis. Long story short, Antartica wasn't the South Pole like it is now, giant tidal waves and sea levels rose about 200 feet after the tilt. Can anyone see Great Flood? Pure devastation for coastal towns and cities of the time (about 10,500 BC). Awwwwwww, just kidding.......................................................
Anyway, it's a nice story to add to the urgency of action now. Yes, Magnetic Equality for all!

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Grigori, I have heard of this pole shift. Legend has it the shift was due to Gaia's attempt to redistribute land mass from rich hemispheres to disadvantaged ones. Coastal cities were devastated but they deserved it.

We must act now to prevent this from happening again. I have volunteered to act as clearing house for Soil Emission Credits. Call me at 1-800-SOILSCAM to buy your credits and begin trading them. I want to be the Al Gore of Dirt.

Wait until you read my new book, "Earth Is Unbalanced". It will settle the science of Anthropogenic Pole Shift and convince you the only way to save the planet is by government mandated redistribution of land mass accomplished by sending me money.

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Comrade Opiate

Welcome to the the ConsensusTM!

Obamugabe

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Let's see.............
We've got Carbon Credits, Magnetic & Soil Credits.........hmmmmmm
How about Water Credits? The Red Rooster and I have been working on the USSA water rights.

Can we do away with money now?

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Commissar Elliott,

[HIGHLIGHT=#d8d8d8]"Aaah! I can't see the world be destroyed! It's my favorite planet"[/HIGHLIGHT]
It won't be so bad. Dr. Strangelove's got it all worked out:

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I'm not a fan of the Morlocks (they are definitely RethugliKKKan operatives), and if we go underground, we can only look forward to such a society of two different species of people.

However, if we go with the plan of Dr. Strangelove, I can go into the bunker knowing I can fulfill my duties to the Party. Making those robots as defenders should be easy with the iron close by.
(off)
Good choice of clip.

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Commissar_Elliot,

I believe their are already two species of humans. The made progs and the proles. Just a feline observation. A separation of these two equal groups may be in order.

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Reiuxcat wrote:Commissar_Elliot,

I believe their are already two species of humans. The made progs and the proles. Just a feline observation. A separation of these two equal groups may be in order.
First we'll need to gain (take with force if need be) some land, then we can seperate everyone (kill the proles) and we can all live separated, but happy.

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Reiuxcat wrote:Commissar_Elliot,

I believe their are already two species of humans. The made progs and the proles. Just a feline observation. A separation of these two equal groups may be in order.


This may be the secret organization chart:
George Soros (head puppeteer)
|
Michelle Obama (queen)
|
Barack Obama (king)
[Chavez, Jong, Castro, "the Muslim World" (outside advisors to king input here) ]
[China, Japan and others we owe big money to input here]
|
Axelrod, Pelosi, Reid
|
Frank, Dodd, Byrd and other prog congresscritters in (presumably) long term safe seats
|
Nitwit celebrities-----MSM hack journalistas-----Unions-----ACORN-----Netroots
|
Blue dogs----------Wall Street types----------other useful idiots
|
Obamaphiles who fell under bus but still secretly kiss his ass
|
Hillary Clinton
[Britain, Canada & other tradional allies advice inputs here]
|
Rank and file progs (expendable)
|
Independent voters (agnostic, possibly still swayable)
|
Apes, goats, crabs, gibbons
|
Unsympathetic business types (good source of funds)
|
Most Republicans in Congress
|
Conservative voters & other atheists (lost causes)
|
George W. Bush

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How disapointing... all I saw were the words "pole shift" in the title and hustled over to this post. I guess I thought I'd see..... something else.

If I may Comrades,

Anthropogenic Pole Shift (APS), Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW), and Anthropogenic Continental Drift (ACD) are all well and good for our Progressive Agenda but I believe you are missing a short term method of taxation: Anthropogenic Mayan Apocalypse (AMA)!

Think of it! No science getting in the way, no tell-tale signs, no ability for the Evil Corporate Interests to oppose it! And what do we get? The ability to tax the rich for bringing about the AMA. Was it not the White Oppressors who wiped out the Mayans and other natives of Mexico? Did they not destroy our last real chance at salvation? Who knows what hidden knowledge was lost when they mercilessly destroyed the Shamans, Priests and Timekeepers in the name of Capitalism?

Anyone who opposes AMA obviously hates our Mexican and Native American brothers and sisters and can easily be marked as the Thought Criminals they are. The old ways need to come back and we start with the standard Pre-Columbian method of keeping AMA at bay: Human Sacrifice.

All wealthy, Western countries must give up their powerful elite for immediate sacrifice and all property of said individuals must be transferred to the Oppressed Masses for redistribution. For those countries who wish to exceed their sacrificial output we can offer Sacrificial Credits which can be traded and sold on the market. Those who do not meet the levels given them by the Glorious UN Panel on Human Sacrifice must purchase Sacrificial Credits or be presented with a most Sternly-Worded Letter!

Talk amongst yourselves. I am but a modest idea man of the State.

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Comrade Trotsky

You must refer to that glorious scientific movie 2012 which is on the same level of scientific excellence as the Goracle's Inconvenient Truth.

Just think of it: The earth is depolpulated and is inherited by the deserving: Those who can pay $1000 000 000 per seat and those who spent their time staring at their navels in the Himalayan Monasteries.

Two random quotes I can (more or less) remember from the movie:
--"These people were all chosen by geneticists to save the human race" (Hitler would be proud!)
--"We are heading towards a Brave New World"

This is enough to make a a shiver run up this New World Order of Next Tuesday Believer's leg!

Obamugabe


 
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