Comrades!

Help Snoogie with his personal Ads!

I've come to realize that my biological clock is ticking and I'm looking for a good prog spousal unit to make me complete. I am currently crafting a personal ad to find my dream prog girl. I have come up with a few ads that I think has some potential for a response from the prog babe of my dreams. Here are some potential ideas I've been working with...

Do you consider hating Bush foreplay? Cute Male prog looking for sincere female Prog who is interested in a long term relationship. Ability to be a complete sponge on society is a definite plus.

Still living at home and going to community college twenty years after you Graduated High School? You just might be the Prog girl for me! Handsome male prog with a slight drooling problem is looking for his soul mate.

Athletic male prog looking for female prog to enjoy moonlight walks on the beach and discussing how wonderful Obama is. I'm also a true prog gentleman and have no problem with you footing the entire bill of our first date.

Where are you my proggie Goddess? Handsome Prog male looking for soul mate to help him fill out Government forms for bailouts, student loans and all sorts of other free money he never intends to pay back.

Why not go out on a limb and take a chance? Environmental friendly male prog looking for a tree hugging female prog. If you have hairy legs and slight beard growth and a tendency not to bathe that often……..This prog is for you!!!!!!

If you have any ideas on how to improve on these ads, or have an original submission that I can shamelessly plagiarize in my quest to find true proggie love, please feel free to help. Snoogie is feeling the need to breed!!!!!!!!

Snoogie! Did you ever post anywhere under the handle "Red Suspenders?"

- https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... 6852#26852

It seems that Pinkie is the prog girl for you. I suggest you go back to the beginning of that thread and go down checking Pinkie's preferences. Also check the Continental Drift thread.

In the meantime, here's an excerpt:

Red Square wrote:Pinkie - you've got your Mr. Right Guy!

I found him on a progressive dating site, and he's wearing RED SUSPENDERS! That's also his nickname on that site.

RED SUSPENDERS wrote:- good with the shovel
- likes digging long trenches on the beach at sunset
- looks for someone to share his affection for government subsidies
- favorite vodka brand: Putinka
- got HBO

COME WITH ME TO MY SECTION 8 APARTMENT AND SEE MY POTATO RATIONS, BABY! HBO WILL NEVER FEEL THE SAME AGAIN!

In his profile he boasts to be able to dig longer, faster, and deeper than other contenders.

Snoogie may think Pinkie is the Prog girl for him, but Pinkie may not think Snoogie is the Prog boy for her.

From the looks of your avatar, I can't help thinking I might be robbing the cradle if I go with you.

Is that how you see me? A much older, more experienced woman? Norma Desmond to your Joe Gillis?

I do not keep pet chimps, though I do have my pathetic gathering of "Waxworks":


But whatever you do, Snoogie, don't listen to Red Square. He's always fixing me up with total losers in red hats (just read the links he provided).

Is that how you see yourself, Snoogie?

I see a baby.

Just my rotten luck. I'm still big. It's the male comrades who keep getting smaller.

COMMUNIST MALE LOOKING FOR FEMALE FELLOW TRAVELER to be my equal partner in trip to glorious Havana. Come listen to Fidel and friends make 5 hour speeches while we stand shoulder-to-shoulder with glorious revolutionaries sweating in cane fields. (We may have to settle for watching Obama press conference on TV if dad doesn't help me with the condo and car payments this month.)

SIZE MATTERS! I am a hetero post-racial male with the biggest collection of Obama memorabilia this side of the First Lady's basement. I even have the Obama commemorative plate (yes, I'm the ONE who bought that!) If you live, eat and breathe Obama, you'll love me almost as much as I love him. Serious replies only, no dealers please!

NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN... (SWM) I've been in protest rallies and demonstrations all over the world. I've fought the good fight against climate change, industrial pollution, globalization, corporate exploitation and pay toilets, and I have the scars to prove it! Now that a real progressive is running the show, I'm ready to take some time off from saving the world and looking to kick back with a similar-minded prog lady. Pre and post-op transsexuals OK.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Snoogie may think Pinkie is the Prog girl for him, but Pinkie may not think Snoogie is the Prog boy for her.

From the looks of your avatar, I can't help thinking I might be robbing the cradle if I go with you.

Is that how you see me? A much older, more experienced woman? Norma Desmond to your Joe Gillis?

I do not keep pet chimps, though I do have my pathetic gathering of "Waxworks":


But whatever you do, Snoogie, don't listen to Red Square. He's always fixing me up with total losers in red hats (just read the links he provided).

Is that how you see yourself, Snoogie?

I see a baby.

Just my rotten luck. I'm still big. It's the male comrades who keep getting smaller.

Pinkie,

You see a baby? I'll have you know that dynamite comes in small packages. You may think that I might be lacking in certain in a certain part of my anatomy, but you would be wrong! While one night I was with a prog female and when she saw me in all my studly glory she ask me, “Who are you going to please with that???”……. I answered, “Why me of course!” Of course after the “small talk” we made love like crazed rabbits.

One night with me and you'll be screaming, “Oh Obama, Oh Obama, so many times that the neighbors will complain. Your afterglow would be enough to power a small town. You don't know what your missing, I'm packing some serious heat in those pampers!!!!!

Heck, I'm so virile that I want two prog girls at the same time. That way after the 2 full minutes of foreplay and love making and after I fall asleep, they will have each other to talk to. Your don't know what your missing Pinkie!!!!!

Comrades Pinkie and Snoogie,

In the matter of advertising yourselves, just remember this. Prog or no Prog, money is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Really. Especially prog women. Prog women are seeking money above all things. Now, they may say and act differently, but when you are incapable of taking responsibility for your own subsistence, you're always in need of OPM.

In the first place, Snoogie, it's not the size of the shovel that counts, but how fast and deep you dig with it.

In the second place: Power a small town? You may have just found your calling. Obama wants alternate energy. Ever seen the movie Monsters Inc? Instead of scaring children to collect their screams for fuel, you can go out each night and show women just how handy you are with the shovel. If what you say is true, then we have our alternate energy source.

And instead of men going to war for oil, women will go to war for Snoogie-powered afterglow.

Pinkie

Snoogie-powered afterglow….ummm, kinda like the concept but I think I would face some pretty stiff competition and I also feel that I just might not be up to the task. I would like to pop tall and do my part for alternative energy though. I also want to re-assure you that I stand firmly erect in my support for a cleaner environment.

Snoogie, you XML poster prog! I spent all night cleaning up after your dirty diapers. You oughta be ashamed of that mess you made...

But I understand, when a comrade gets lonely and the vodka just won't cut it anymore, a nice XML rant and a few Janeane Gawdawfulo flicks seals the day.

Did I ever tell you about the time I took Janeane out on a date? I had a great time! I'm not sure if she did though... as we walked down the street togther her leg hair kept jiggling and I would catch it out of the corner of my eye and pluck it out! One after the other! It was better than being on a worm farm!

Those legs were pecked smooth by the end of the evening!

Comrades,

I thought size didn't matter for individuals, which is why we get such small beet rations.

Of course, it does matter for the People, which is why we need big funding for revolutionaries and gulags.

I would like to thank Comrade Snoogie Woogums for bringing the eco angle to this discussion, for all males--until gender is neutered--should aspire to be as erect as that stiff Al Gore, an honorary perckerwood--er, woodpecker.

Comrades,

Just a quick question? How many pounds difference between voluptuous and big boned? I got a bite from a proggie female in my ad.

Hmmmmm.... We don't know, ask Ricky Lake.

It's not the difference in weight, but the source of the weight. Voluptuous women get their weight from excess flesh. Big-boned women get theirs from . . . oh, you'll never guess--big bones!

A V-woman and BB-woman can each weigh the same--but the V will look as if she weighs more than the BB. That's because V's weight distribution tends to go out, while BB's goes up, with the result that BB's tend to be very tall, but not always. BB's weigh more than they look.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:
If you have any ideas on how to improve on these ads, or have an original submission that I can shamelessly plagiarize in my quest to find true proggie love, please feel free to help. Snoogie is feeling the need to breed!!!!!!!!

Dear Comrade,
Why not try what worked for me?
Hold up a sign of an adorable pure bred puppy.
Muster us the saddest face possible....like the one you use when working in the fields is just too much.
Stand by the entrance to a supermarket.
Beneath the adorable puppy pic...(A puppy you don't own btw) are the words:

Have you seen this puppy?

Any babe worth her salt is going to melt for you and your loss.

On the outside chance somebody does find your lost puppy....turn the puppy down!
From that moment on...only the puppy will know your true nature.
A word to the wise.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:It's not the difference in weight, but the source of the weight. Voluptuous women get their weight from excess flesh. Big-boned women get theirs from . . . oh, you'll never guess--big bones!

A V-woman and BB-woman can each weigh the same--but the V will look as if she weighs more than the BB. That's because V's weight distribution tends to go out, while BB's goes up, with the result that BB's tend to be very tall, but not always. BB's weigh more than they look.

Pinkie,

Thanks. I'm having a hard time as to where to place this prog babe that responded to my ad.
You had first dibs on this fine catch.....but you blew it! That is okay because my dance card is now filling up rapidly with fine quality prog female dates! Just think Pinkie, you could had me all to your proggie self now this fine babe is about to enjoy some quality spoon time, with the snoogster.

You Betcha Red!

If this doesn't make Pinkie jealous then I don't know what else would.


Psst........My Vodka ration card is going to get maxed out after I slug down enough of the stuff and my suck down my reserve stash to get this one close to being pretty. Could you send me a few bottles?????? After all, I'm doing it for the good the party. You have to admit, I really will be taking one for the team on this one.

We don't see the problem Snoog, if Pinkie can't hang with a hot prog womyn like the one you found then that's just her thang. It takes alot to have the moves and guile of a womyn like that.. shooo.. I remeber LaTyronisha, (s)he was a six foot muscle bound transvestite that could knock the socks of any fine prog womyn like Pinkie.... and the 'sisters' used to take him/her to the back of the prison on Friday nights and have their kinda time, but hey if Pinkie can't hang / she's just SOL when it comes to deep sea fishing.

Pssst... the vodka's on the way! I've included a couple bottles of three star cognac too... good luck with Charlina! You'll need it!

Red,

Charlina and I are going on our first date tonight! I have to be quick on this on as I snuck down to my basement to fire off this quick post. She's upstairs chatting with Mom and Dad right now before we go out. They seem to hit off pretty well. Mom was kinda of strange at first though when Charlina arrived, for some strange reason she started to put newspapers on the floor.

Well a few more splashes of Old Spice on the face and I'm outta here for awhile!!!!!!!

Psst......Thanks for including the two paper bags (nice touch) with the booze you sent, I'll make sure the one for me is secured when it comes time to do my party duty and won't fall off my head just in case the one on hers does.

Take notes. We can weld them together later and publish The Amorous Adventures of Snoogie Woogums. It'll be an instant best seller.

Snoogie, your darling Charlina looks like one of those toilet paper dolls my grandmother used to have in her bathroom:


Yeah, I'm ever so jealous of a prog girl who keeps a roll of toilet paper stashed under her petticoats. I can just see you in the backseat with her around midnight tonight.

"C'mon, Charlina! Can't you see I've got this enormous load in my diapers?"

"I'm sorry, Snoogie, but I just don't have a square to spare!"

AHA!!!!!

Pinkie is jealous after all! For your sorry pitiful information, Charlina and I went on our first date to the local zoo.

They thanked me for for returning her.......That Zoo guard by the name of Crowley is gonna get a ear full for that.

I can just see you in the backseat with her around midnight tonight.

Pinkie,

You would have been steamed to no end if you actually did see us. It was kinda like this.