Do you believe America is evil?

Are you willing to bring down the very intuitions that brought you liberty and prosperity?

Can you blindly follow orders, even when it seems counter to all reason and common sense?

If you answered yes to these questions, the U.S. government is hiring and may have a position for you, and Monster.gov is where you apply.

For decades we have fought to destroy this Republic's founding principles. Battles have been won: the New Deal and the Great Society, the take-over of America's education system and most media outlets. Now with The Party controlling 2.4 of the three branches of government we have the opportunity to win the war and end America's reign once and for all.

Then from the ash heap of Old America we will build a New America. Based on a constitution which will state what the government must do for you. Gone will be that tried old negative rights constitution.

We can not do this alone, we need you to help. So if you are ill-informed, clueless about history, susceptible to demagoguery, and/or suffering from a mental disorder, you are just what we are looking for.

Job openings in the following sectors:

• War on Prosperity
• Energy De-evolution
• Healthcare Demolition
• Climate Propaganda
• Forced Worker Unionization
• Means Of Production Nationalization
• Banking and Finance Assimilation
• Dissent Control

Act Now! Don't miss your chance to join Obama and the march forward to “fundamentally change America”.

Testimonials:

After losing my high profile Obama administration job, Monster.gov found me another job doing exactly the same work for more money; however I'm not at liberty to discuss the details.
b]Van Jones

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Before going to Monster.gov I was trying to destroy America one plate glass window at a time and doing it for free. Now I have a career, a paycheck, and I'm actually affecting change.
Anonymous

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Monster.gov is working hard to finding me placement. I'm still unemployed at this time but I'm hopeful. Perhaps I'm over-qualified.
Ward Churchill

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Apply at Monster.gov Today!

"Do you believe America is evil?" yes...

"Are you willing to bring down the very intuitions that brought you liberty and prosperity?" yeeeeeeessssssssssss....

"Can you blindly follow orders, even when it seems counter to all reason and common sense?" YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!

Sorry about that. I get a tingly feeling in my "leg region" when I see The Holy O, and can't contain myself. I'll clean that up later.

Well... I started talking a long time ago! Then got discouraged and quit! But now I can't contain myself. I have that old feeling in my "leg region" back again. Problem is it's paralysis! I't's working it's way to my brain! But what brain? I forgot... I'm a liberal Democrat! I don't have a brain! Forgive me... I take it all back!

Most equal news!!! As a former employee of the Bureau of Public Sector Job Security, it is equal to see what an equal job my comrades are doing! Soon we will all be employed by the public sector, and as you know, no public sector employee can ever be terminated or any reason ever. Then the government will be paying everyone, and getting its money from the taxation on the money that it is paying to everyone, so it will all be one giant perpetual money motion machine!!

Pick me! Pick me!

This popularity contest presidency and its economic policies remind me of this Thatcher-era program, especially this segment where the socialist student Rick loses a popularity contest and tries to kill himself with laxative pills (about 5 minutes into 9+ minutes' worth).

Now that a man in a pick up truck ruined our future, just how many laxatives would an avid Obama supporter need to take to achieve nirvana?

I think we might need those laxative pills that work in reverse.

It's good work, I hear, if you can be forced to get it.

Comrade Krotchsky,

It's been a long time! Does this mean that ice pick hit your, uh, other head?

I tried to tell the guys in the now-defunct band Trotsky Icepick that there was nothing funny about it, but they were spoilsports.

Most excellent news comrades! I shall be joining the ranks of the Dissent Control squad. I am also considering the Ministry of Propoganda... no, no, I must remember, this is a new Amerika; no hard work or greed allowed here. Must allow for equal sharing of misery and help spread the wealth around.

Comrades,

This is outrageous! Someone dares to give equal time to that Nazi never-was, F.A. Hayek, by pairing him with Lord Keynes in an admittedly classy proletarian rap video. Did you know F.A. stood for "Flow Assassin"?

Dear Stalin, pluck out mine eyes and ears for this heresy!

Ah, Tovarich. Such an interesting video. It proves to me that rap is doggerel on stilts.

Stop weeping and irony; to bring down a build is easy; I want to see Hussein (Obama) makes like our Brazilian kkomrade, Lula (da Silva) --- Obama's “my man” ---, and bring down a build resting on the floor (soon). That's it, a new South American political tactic: dig a new bottom of the well (a bit below), to prevent future falls (the truest welfare state).

Such a joy! This government monster will be of huge help in finding cadres for fulfilling the One's vision, now that the five year plan is taking shape.

From the SOU speech:
"So tonight, we set a new goal: We will double our exports over the next five years, an increase that will support 2 million jobs in America."

It is clear that we need a 2 mln army to help dismantle Amerika. The end is beginning. Bottoms up.

We must man the barricades. President Awesome Zero's poll numbers dropped after his health-care summit. It seems that most of American thought that just working his look wasn't enough.

Now I personally think that he could work his look enough to keep the sun from going supernova, but the foolish Americans didn't.

Of course I support all the efforts to turn the Constitution into pulp for recycling, to expand the government so as to encompass every aspect of our lives and to coronate for life enlightened leaders to care for us and to think for us, but I have this problem with the notion of ‘work.'

The Protestant work-ethic is nothing but a bourgeois plot to enslave workers (who, should have a right not to work) into a lifetime of profitless toil for the benefit of their masters. Many of our most dedicated comrades have sacrificed much for the cause by choosing not to work, instead placing the burden of their livelihood upon the bourgeoisie and hastening the collapse of the corrupt and evil capitalist empire. They are Heros of the People and such service should be recognized and encouraged.

We progressives understand that actual productive work is to be disdained and taxed mercilessly, unless performed for the sake of the Party. Work often leads to notions of “private property” rights and other misguided ideas that impede the progress of the collective. As all progs know, words, in as much as they put ideas in people's heads, must be used and controlled carefully.

YES! We must destroy the institutions that hold us down and prop us up! Only through destruction is there liberation! Only when our oppressors in the producing class are brought down to our level, can we be elevated to theirs! When everything is smashed and destroyed, everything will be gloriously equal!

Indeed. Sometimes I go out into the back of the Rancho where there are old fridges and tires and wrecked cars and washing machines. I sent a picture to Jeff Foxworthy who replied, "How much to stay there and not spoil my redneck act?"

I just sleep in my own personal dump. I mean, what could be better than that? It shows I'm a man of the people. I'm a man of the wrecked cars. I'm a man of the rusted appliances.

Commissar!
Rust?

Did not you just hear the glorious communique from Chairman Zero?
It is OK to use Oil as long as it is not foul capitalist Alaskan Palin smelling Oil.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:We must man the barricades. President Awesome Zero's poll numbers dropped after his health-care summit. It seems that most of American thought that just working his look wasn't enough.

Now I personally think that he could work his look enough to keep the sun from going supernova, but the foolish Americans didn't.

I don't think it's possible for us to work his image anymore then we have Theo. First he was Jesus, then he was holier then Jesus, then he was the Uniter, and now he's the Provider. What is there beyond Provider?

I don't think it's possible for us to work his image anymore then we have Theo. First he was Jesus, then he was holier then Jesus, then he was the Uniter, and now he's the Provider. What is there beyond Provider?

CREATOR!!

Obambi must to CREATE something... he must to become FULL of something other than shit!... he must to become PREGNANT with new life of fundamentally changed America... a new Birth of Nation!

The OBAMANATION

Superkommissar Maksim wrote:
Do you believe America is evil? Are you willing to bring down the very intuitions that brought you liberty and prosperity?

"Now with The Party controlling 2.4 of the three branches of government we have the opportunity to win the war and end America's reign once and for all."
=====================
More like 1.6 of the three branches. Remember Alinsky Rules for Radicals -- Rule No.1 - make the opposition believe you're bigger, stronger than you are -- perception is half the battle.

Let's not forget the fourth estate. I am so very glad that we are all blessed with the howling sneering Couric Head to tell us what to do. And how would we live without Keith Olbermann? Or Chris Matthews?

I wonder what lip balm they use to prevent chapping.

Superkommissar Maksim, having answered your screening questions with a resounding трахнитесь да!, I hurriedly scurried to Monster.gov to apply for the Dissent Control opening, (my baseball bat has sat idly in the corner for far too long!) only to find it doesn't exist!

Why is this? If Sheehan can be Fisted, can Monster not be .gov'd? Can a court appointed attorney not shield the collective from a lawsuit?

My trusty ball bat and I humbly await....

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Let's not forget the fourth estate. I am so very glad that we are all blessed with the howling sneering Couric Head to tell us what to do. And how would we live without Keith Olbermann? Or Chris Matthews?

I wonder what lip balm they use to prevent chapping.

I'm more concerned with the therapists they have.

War on Prosperity: Print more and more money till paper only useful for stain control and/or re-Cycling.
Energy De-evolution: As does petro-gaseous price rise so also crude dollars diminish.
Healthcare Demolition: Queue to Forms desk, queue to appointment desk. Wait... queue to counseling councilmen board, queue to waiting room for counseling councilmen board, queue to counseling...Wait, queue to nurse assistant counseling,
...queue..., queue...,
Climate Propaganda: Size 14 carbonic footsies for collective humanity. Eat the earth, ecoterrorism (courtesy of Big All Gore)
Forced Worker Unionization: Gone Postal.
Means Of Production Nationalization: Zero Motors Hybrid conversion kits. Collective Sanitation stations,
Banking and Finance Assimilation: economic terrorism courtesy Goldman Sachs.
Dissent Control: We will accept your contrite apology before your execution, your crime carved into your back.

Well I already have my housing from dear leader and my food from dear leader. My job is to be dependent on dear leader and I have no time to lend a hand in the dismantling of America when I am too busy doing nothing all day and voting once in a while for dear leader.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:My trusty ball bat and I humbly await....

That looks an awfully lot like a screenshot from GTA IV....

Premier Betty wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:My trusty ball bat and I humbly await....

That looks an awfully lot like a screenshot from GTA IV....

No, that is clearly an ACORN employee.

Premier Betty wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:My trusty ball bat and I humbly await....

That looks an awfully lot like a screenshot from GTA IV....

Hot dog! Good catch Premier.

Premier Betty wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:My trusty ball bat and I humbly await....

That looks an awfully lot like a screenshot from GTA IV....

Correct, searching Bing for images after consuming The Peoples Vodka ™can become tiresome and cause me to feel most unequal comrades.

Since I have no capitalist device to giggle in glee at such a "game" I solicit other Peoples Characters ® from said game. In character of course...

Betty! So glad to see you back. Did you escape from the Reich-wing Rethuglicans who must have kidnapped you?

Commissar, you should know by now that all Republicans are nothing more than uneducated racist bigots forcing their agenda (or trying to at least) down the throats of the people. They are not organized enough to capture anyone. I'm sure this "Betty" is safe.