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The People's Cube Over Chicago

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The People's Cube likes to travel across the United States - over the fruited plain and halcyon skies - in a planned effort to stake out the thoroughfare of freedom from sea to shining sea. It takes pictures of itself posing against amber waves of grain, alabaster cities, and on top of purple mountain majesties, as it crowns the common good with quotas on brotherhood and equal outcomes.

In this installment, the Cube goes to Chicago - the holy land of Barack Obama, Saul Alinsky, Luis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, and many others who snatched this glorious city from the jaws of capitalism.

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Cube poses for pictures on top of the Sears Tower. This was meant to complete the takeover of Chicago. However, some things got out of control...

But let us start from the very beginning...

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Chicago turned out to be a surprisingly clean, comfortable, well-planned, and friendly city.

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When the Cube and I were still in the Soviet public school system, we liked to imagine magnificent cities built by happy workers in the bright communist future, where we were destined to live. It didn't happen that way. The real trick was supposed to be to wait for the capitalists to build magnificent cities and then to take them over.

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In terms of its architecture, Chicago is everything Manhattan could've been if it hadn't been taken over by the progressives so soon and so vigorously.

Imagine the best parts of New York extracted, steam-cleaned, renovated, and put together in a better, human-friendly fashion by a thoughtful and inspired designer - and you will get Chicago.

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We couldn't get a good angle of the Corncob Towers (Marina City), so we liberated this picture from the Internet. All the other pictures are made by us.

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The progressives did well to hijack such a jewel of capitalist prosperity. There's still enough wealth in it to last for a few more years and maybe even decades.

The Cube took an architectural tour on a boat along the Chicago River, with a young guide who kept making very progressive, bitter remarks designed to douse our excitement over the architectural magnificence and to stir the righteous anger of vacationing tourists at the unfairness of the capitalist system and the city's brutal history.

With a derisive smirk, as if admitting a shameful fact, he explained the abundance of stunning, originally designed residential buildings in the downtown area by the need to keep the middle class within city limits because they constitute the city's tax base.

In other words, these midle-class bourgeois scoundrels aren't good for anything except their taxes! It is unfortunate that the city must put up with them and their arrogant condos instead of lining the waterfront with cheap and ugly subsidized housing the way New York City did for many years.

Apparently, the Chicago government knows the secret of milking the bourgeoisie to the mutual satisfaction of the both parties.

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Chicago as seen from the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of John Hancock Center.

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Our young guide must have been the product of the local educational system "reformed" by Bill Ayers with the help of Barack Obama, using the funds of the Republican Annenberg Foundation.

(The Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC) was a Chicago public school reform project from 1995 to 2001 that was funded by a $49.2 million, 2-to-1 matching challenge grant from the Annenberg Foundation. It was started by Bill Ayers and run by Barack Obama as founding chairman and president.)

The furthest dark-toned skyscraper with two antennae is the Sears Tower. The white skyscraper to the left, made of polished stainless steel and iridescent-tinted glass, is the Trump Tower condo-hotel.

"This is Trump's answer to our growing need in affordable housing," our young tour guide remarked snidely.

That is why we must think globally, comrades. If everything on our planet is limited, so is the amount of living space. Therefore, the more luxury living space is built for the rich, the less space is left for the poor.

Imagine a homeless community who received a government quota of polished stainless steel and iridescent-tinted glass to build an affordable skyscraper for themselves to live in. And one morning, as they came to the site with their state-issued shovels, they discovered that all of it had been stolen at night by Donald Trump for his shamelessly opulent capitalist tower. So naturally, they got frustrated, traded their beloved shovels for drugs and alcohol, and went back to being homeless. Oh the indignity!

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Chicago is where the idea of skyscrapers was born. Even its churches tend to look like skyscrapers.

We must admit that some parts outside of the downtown area looked more like New York. At one point at night a car approached us and a young an hip driver, who looked like a brother of our tour guide, asked, "Do you guys smoke that weed?" But as we trained our camera on him, he sped away.

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On the street level one can find art - as, for example, this ambiguous urban tree hugger.

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We occasionally wonder, why don't people who dislike urban life and technological civilization move into the wilderness, armed with a stone axe? On the other hand, the environment is probably better off when these people live as far away from it as possible and only vent their frustrations by making statues such as this.

Have you ever wondered what the proverbial liberal bubble looks like?

In Chicago, we discovered the liberal bubble right in the middle of the downtown area. It is pretty, shiny, and its reflective surface believably distorts the reality in a way that positions you right at the center of the universe, with all other people turning into concave shapes and forming concentric circles around you.

After gazing at it for a while, to turn away and face the reality isn't easy. The real world appears disappointingly straight and square. That is probably why so many passers-by freeze around it, as if trying to make a lasting imprint of the reflection that they can carry away.

"Cloud Gate" sculpture in Millenium Park.

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The inside of the liberal bubble is even more amazing. The same person is reflected in it many times over, creating the illusion of majority. It also typifies liberal voting patterns.

Any random number of people get reflected as diverse opposing groups, one unlike the other, struggling for illusory prominence on the magic reflective surface.
As the normal perspective changes, people who in real life are of the same size, become different in magnitude. The resulting image is that of few giants surrounded by swarms of insignificant "little people" in a phantasmagoric pattern representative of the social hierarchy produced by the liberal mindset.

And we don't mean "liberal" in the classical sense.

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A few blocks away from the Chicago Liberal Bubble, a major city street was barricaded from all traffic for the "Taste of Chicago" festival.

Crowds of festive people, thousands strong, were roaming amidst kiosks, inhaling barbecue smoke, and forming long lines at food stands. The latter was the only similarity with the Great Depression, to which Chicago's favorite son and current US President continually compares the country's economic situation.

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The progressive mood was soon spoiled by the unwelcome presence of an unsmiling, conservative-looking, redneck couple armed with a pitchfork and apparently looking for culprits who are destroying the country and the way of life they had started.

The two oversized right-wing extremists were surrounded by a constantly rotating group of DHS agents disguised as tourists.

The couple just stood there flabbergasted, apparently waiting for a new Tea Party they could join to protest taxation without representation, intrusive government, disappearance of their liberties, and the conversion of America into an imitation of Europe from which they once fled, having consciously chosen a life of risk and hard work for the sake of freedom and independence.
And they didn't have to wait long. There still are Chicagoans who share their values. And this was a few days BEFORE the officially scheduled 4th of July Tea Parties!

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Once these new revolutionaties noticed the People's Cube, we approached and introduce ourselves.

They weren't familiar with the Cube but they seemed to like the idea and said they would check out the website. We, in turn, promised to post their pictures on its pages.

So here we go.

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But that was not all! As the evening fell, a group of local Iranian immigrants disrespected Chicago's local son Barack Obama by staging a vigil in support of the anti-government rallies in Iran and of the victims of the Islamic Republic.

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If they respected Obama and his policies, they would be condemning the Iranian protesters, blaming the victims, denouncing freedom, wishing the destruction of Israel in a nuclear holocaust, and calling for death to America - just like the current Iranian dictator Mohmoud Ahmadinejad does, with whom Obama wants to negotiate as an equal.

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And worst of all, they didn't even have a designated ACORN-approved community organizer (aka Commisar of Ethnic Blankets).

That's when we realized that claiming victory for progressivism in Chicago was premature, and so we spent the rest of our time in Chi-town engaging in more productive activities, such as, driving in traffic and playing with the cat.

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THE END

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Some more pics of the Iranian protest...

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A most equal trip, comrade. If the area keeps turning out leaders like it has been lately, it shall not be long before another kkkapitalist city falls completely into our hands!

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Bah! These people in these pictures cannot all be actual denizens of Chicago! For one thing, all of them appear to be alive....


You should write guide books for the people! Of course, you will need to run them by me first.

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O praise be to THE ONE! His glorious take over of the now defunct capitalist system has provided such HOPE and CHANGE! I am on the first day of a company wide "vacation", that I have no doubt was a result of the swift "stimulus package" that needed to happen or the economy would fail. I am so happy to see that our holy leaders in Washington are talking of the need for yet an other progressive stimulus! Perhaps there will be more vacation time coming for my comrades here in The People's Republic of Cleveland! I must admit that I am a bit disappointed that I had to cancel my vacation cruise to Bermuda that was to happen at the end of the month. But, this is what must be done to ensure the fairness to the collective. Perhaps a trip to the Liberal Bubble may help me to see the true size of my own needs over those "little people" out side the center of my progressive universe!

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Thank you, Comrade AmSoc 73, for adding an important theoretical point to the Bubble's description. Indeed, what is being magically reflected inside of it are the NEEDS of the people, which are all of different sizes. Thus, the Bubble really is an oracle telling who deserves what and how much, providing the heretofore missing empirical backing to the progressive economic theory, soon to replace the libertarian Chicago school of economics.

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Our cube seems to have the same penchant for travel as that funky looking little dwarf in the red hat. A marvelous blow for the people, comrade Red. Hopefully the cube treated you to a few good meals of deep dish while you were there in Chi town.

About that art...

Image is that a tree or was he just happy to see you?


Image what a perfect representation of our societal problem with spilled mercury.

Image this one would be better after a few martinis, with acid.

Image these will need to be cleared away to make room for the new Obama and Mrs. Bicep victory statues (in which the One shall wear little but a speedo suit to show off his rippling pectorals and dynamic protruberance while holding the +1 staff of recharging lightening, and the Mrs will be swathed in a fashionable pink sleeveless sari with diamond studded sandals and a magnificent quoif, while in her extended hand will sit Nike, goddess of victory)

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I do miss Chi-town! I haven't been there in 19 years.

I stayed at the old Nikko Hotel, across the street from the Marina (corn cobb) Towers. I was taking a class on one of IBM operating systems (VM/XA) at 1 IBM Plaza which across the street from the Marina Towers on the opposite side. I had a great time that week.

--

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I was once a resedent of the great progressive metropolis of next Tuesday! Unfortunately at a young age I was loaded aboard a train in the dead of night and taken to the greed filled conservative hell that is Arizona were I suffer day and night with the guilt of being employed and keeping most of my paycheck!

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Comrade Red Square,

Thanks for reminding me to visit Chitown this summer. I once took the boat tour along the algea colored river. About a week later, in a college classroom, I sat for 20 minutes listening to a student describe how she was designing an Eco-friendly, substainable, home made from recycled tires, bails of hay, and lots of mud. A real home for the masses.

I showed her photos of the tour, and her only comment was, "How much recycled material was used? What a drain on world resources!"

Not sure if she ever got her mud huts designed to code, or ever got a zoning variance for primitive housing.

Thanks for the memories!

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Comrade Red Square,

Your trip reminds me of a song: "The Eggplant that Ate Chicago." Here are the lyrics. In place of the word "Eggplant," I have substituted the words "Red Cube."

A parody on the song:
THE EGGPLANT THAT ATE CHICAGO
(Norman Greenbaum)
Dr. West's Medicine Show & Junk Band


THE RED CUBE THAT ATE CHICAGO

You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
For it may eat your city soon.
You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
If it's still hungry, the whole country's doomed.

It came from outer space, lookin' for somethin' to eat.
It landed in Chicago. It thought Chicago was a treat.
(It was sweet, it was just like sugar)

You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
For it may eat your city soon (wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do)
You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
If it's still hungry, the whole country's doomed.

kazoo solo

It came from outer space, lookin' for somethin' to eat.
It landed in Chicago. It thought Chicago was a treat.
(It was sweet, it was just like sugar)

You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
For it may eat your city soon (wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do)
You'd better watch out for the red cube that ate Chicago,
If it's still hungry, the whole country's doomed ("it's in trouble!")
If it's still hungry, the whole country's doomed


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Mortgages for the Masses wrote:Comrade Red Square,

Thanks for reminding me to visit Chitown this summer. I once took the boat tour along the algea colored river. About a week later, in a college classroom, I sat for 20 minutes listening to a student describe how she was designing an Eco-friendly, substainable, home made from recycled tires, bails of hay, and lots of mud. A real home for the masses.

I showed her photos of the tour, and her only comment was, "How much recycled material was used? What a drain on world resources!"

Not sure if she ever got her mud huts designed to code, or ever got a zoning variance for primitive housing.

Thanks for the memories!

That was a funny one, M for the M. I once had a fellow freshpersonage tell me she hated Dante's Divine Comedy b/c she didn't believe in hell... but that isn't nearly as funny ("how much recycled material was used?" LOL) It reminds me of the passage out of Gulliver's Travels,Part III, ch. 5, at the grand Academy of Lagado where the scientists are trying to extra light from cucumbers, and energy from spent feces...

Here it is:

[BLOCKQUOTE]The first Man I saw was of a meager Aspect, with sooty Hands and Face, his Hair and Beard long, ragged and singed in several Places. His Cloathes, Shirt, and Skin were all of the same Colour. He had been Eight Years upon a Project for extracting Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers,which were to be put into Vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the Air in raw inclement Summers. He told me he did not doubt in Eight Years more he should be able to supply the Governors Gardens with Sun-shine at a reasonable Rate; but he complained that his stock was low, and intreated me to give him something as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear Season for Cucumbers. I made him a small Present, for my Lord had furnished me with Money on Purpose, because he knew their Practice of begging from all who go to see them.
[/BLOCKQUOTE]
[BLOCKQUOTE]I went into another Chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost overcome with a horrible Stink. My Conductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in a Whisper to give no Offence, which would be highly resented; and therefore I durst not so much as stop my Nose. The Projector of this Cell was the most ancient Student of the Academy. His Face and Beard were of a pale Yellow; his Hands and Clothes daubed over with Filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close Embrace (a Compliment I could well have excused.) His Employment from his first coming into the Academy, was an Operation to reduce human Excrement to its original Food, by separating the several Parts, removing the Tincture which it receives from the Gall, making the Odour exhale, and scumming off the Saliva. He had a weekly Allowance from the Society, of a Vessel filled with human Ordure about the Bigness of a Bristol Barrel.[/BLOCKQUOTE]

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Nice one, Leninka. Reminds me of the scariest film ever made:

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Red Square wrote:<img src="/images/events/2009.06.26Chicago/AmericanGothic_Pitchfork_TeaParty.jpg" width="400" height="533" align="right">
The progressive mood was soon spoiled by the unwelcome presence of an unsmiling, conservative-looking, redneck couple armed with a pitchfork and apparently looking for culprits who are destroying the country and the way of life they had started. <p>The two oversized right-wing extremists were surrounded by a constantly rotating group of DHS agents disguised as tourists.</p> <p>The couple just stood there flabbergasted, apparently waiting for a new Tea Party they could join to protest taxation without representation, intrusive government, disappearance of their liberties, and the conversion of America into an imitation of Europe from which they once fled, having consciously chosen a life of risk and hard work for the sake of freedom and independence.</p>

We see these Kapitalisths have their luggage ready to go packing. That's right you giant riecht-wing extremists get on the train!

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Were you able to catch a glimpse of the legendary People's Democratic Machine while you were in town? Probably not, since the tenders of this well oiled device are so modest they insist it doesn't exist; they say envious kulaks tell this lie in order to upset the happy masses of Chicago and to slander our Supreme Leader.

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Chicago Democratic Machine? I guess that would be in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. We didn't have time to go there. But it's online, so this may be a home assignment for inquiring minds: go to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industryand locate the exhibit with Chicago Democratic Machine along with its description.

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The Shedd?
What about the Shedd?
That's where Obama keeps his pet octopussy.
And his pet sea slug and Rahm Emmanuel's finger.

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A most equal journey and commentary Comrade Red Square. Yes, Chi Town is ready to be Proggressivized. (Progized? Proggerized?)

Just look how long they have suffered under capitalism, and the horrors it has brought to them.

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Pretty city.

Pretty, shiny big bubble.

Pretty kitty.

I don't suppose the Cube was able to make the grand opening of the Sears Tower Skydeck?

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What do you think of something like that for my next "perch-in"? All I need is a fashionably futile cause to care about.

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You could do a perch in for poor college students who are forced to pay cash for Che shirts. Instead they should get shirts and posters showing violent sociopathic revolutionaries for free.

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Comrade Red Square,

One potential quibble: What you've identified as a church looks so but is, I believe, an old water pumping station.

Good thing your boat cruise didn't include an eco-friendly shower of biodegradable waste, courtesy of a visiting celebrity, as happened in Chi-town on August 10, 2004. It sounds like your guides would have welcomed it, however. Manna from prog heaven, as it were.

I hope you got to ride the crumbling el!

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Oh yes, how could I forget this story?
Dave Matthews Band, an environmentally and politically active liberal music group got caught on tape while unleashing a whirlwind of excrement (800 pounds of liquid human waste) from their sewage laden tour bus into the Chicago River through a metal grating on the Kinzie Street Bridge earlier this month. This posed environmental and public health risks as a passing tour boat filled with 100 people on an architecture sightseeing cruise was doused by the falling excrement.

One of the first parodies we did with General Secretary on https://www.CommunistsForKerry.com in 2004 was

Americans rejoice as elites defecate on them

"Our crap is so great because we are educated Hollywood elites on special diets," explains Dave, the group's leader. "We actually started a trend! Common folks from all over America are writing to us asking to come and defecate upon them."

Dave Matthews Band is now on the road on the West Coast for the next month before linking up with the Vote for Change tour. The politically motivated trek, featuring the likes of Bruce Springsteen, the Dixie Chicks, Pearl Jam and John Mellencamp, will be defecating from elevated platforms over a battery of ten aircraft propellers directed at rejoicing crowds in 28 cities in swing states in an effort to unseat President Bush.
But you, comrade, must remember this because you were with us already back then, giving birth to the term CEU (Capitalist Exploitation Units).

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Red Square wrote:In this installment, the Cube goes to Chicago - the holy land of Barack Obama, Saul Alinsky, Luis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, and many others who snatched this glorious city from the jaws of capitalism.
Thank you, Comrade Red Square, for keeping my name alive! Yes, we rescued Chicago.
Image I have an update, Comrades, Re-carving Mount Obama is right on schedule,
Image Next the other heads will be recarved to Stalin, Lenin, myself, and, of course, Comrade Hillary.

Or we might just re-carve the whole thing into "The One!"
Image All the best,
Saul

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Red Square wrote:But you, comrade, must remember this because you were with us already back then, giving birth to the term CEU (Capitalist Exploitation Units).

Ah, Comrade Red Square, the mind of this mere tchinovnik is heartened to recall this! The lasting influences of the Bush Reality Distortion Field have deprived me of certain memories.

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OH M'OBAMA!!!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
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What do you think of something like that for my next "perch-in"? All I need is a fashionably futile cause to care about.

Three days after making the above post, I stumble across this (and for once I'm not even in one of my Putinka-induced stupors):

Tinky Linky!

The 37-year-old actor plans to stay in a Plexiglas box above the Madison Square Garden marquee on Tuesday and Wednesday to raise $250,000 for Feeding America, the nation's largest domestic hunger relief charity. He'll stay in the box each day for about eight hours. Donations can come on site or through text messages or a Facebook page set up by Mars Inc., the company that makes Snickers candy bars.


LIFE IMITATES THE CUBE ONCE AGAIN!

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Will he be defecating from above on the rejoicing public in the manner of Dave Matthews' Band (above)? If there's anything New York needs right now, it is more liberal crap. There can never be enough of it.

For the sake of proper appearance of this substance we may call it "prog droppings" or "prog guano."

Food for the masses!

It's also reported that Madonna is saving her toe nail clippings and plans to donate them to hungry Americans as healthy snacks.

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Comrade Red Square,

Would that not be a "prog bomb," in keeping with the revolutionary gut-churning fervor of True Belief? They can be planted along streets, in cars, or dropped from above. Moreover, they conserve power by not requiring final-step (or -squat) detonators.

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Rex wrote:Image is that a tree or was he just happy to see you?
<i>That's my line.</i> Or Mae West's. Sometimes when I've just come from Jiffi-Lobo I get a bit confused.

I'm so glad to know that plans are <i>en train</i> to make Chicago the same as Noo Yawk. Which is being led by dear Pinch as the New York Times Company circles in its death spiral.

As a made prog I don't want to become an unmade prog. That is, I am perfectly content with control over things that are nasty, poor, brutish and short. But if people are in control of themselves, what chance do I have?

Texas has about 24 million people, and is too damned independent for my tastes. It's time to take out Texas.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Rex wrote:Image is that a tree or was he just happy to see you?
<i>That's my line.</i> Or Mae West's. Sometimes when I've just come from Jiffi-Lobo I get a bit confused.

I'm so glad to know that plans are <i>en train</i> to make Chicago the same as Noo Yawk. Which is being led by dear Pinch as the New York Times Company circles in its death spiral.

As a made prog I don't want to become an unmade prog. That is, I am perfectly content with control over things that are nasty, poor, brutish and short. But if people are in control of themselves, what chance do I have?

Texas has about 24 million people, and is too damned independent for my tastes. It's time to take out Texas.


Dinner and movie perhaps?

This site was funnier before we become a Communist nation.

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Comrade Commie Pinko wrote:This site was funnier before we become a Communist nation.

Comrade! Such counter-revolutionary thoughts! Funny? It's even funnier now than it was before! In fact it is the most stupendously funny site ever created in the history of class warfare. Nothing has ever come close (except maybe Senator Franken's razor-sharp wit). No, the site has only increased in the amount of funny it contains until there is indeed enough funny for all the masses; from each according to his cleverness to each according to his need. Perhaps what you need is a bit of re-education to align more properly your sentiments with correct party thinking in terms of humor. Consequently the Party has arranged for you to attend a seminar on "Humor in the Workplace" sponsored by the tax dollars funneled through the Bureau of Public Debt. Indeed, the speaker at this conference is one of millions of new JOBS created by the wonderful bailout package which descended from the anus of the One, JOBS which will revivify the ethos of CHANGEtm and HOPEtm, JOBS which I might, sir, add were doubted by naysayers such as Harry Alford (who was gloriously chastised by Senator Barbara Brains Boxer).
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At said conference the instructor in humor (hereafter referred to as "The Contractor") shall conduct two, 3-hour, Humor in the Workplace programs that will discuss the power of humor in the workplace, the close relationship between humor in the workplace and stress, and why humor in the workplace is one of the most important ways that we communicate in business and office life through humor. Participants shall experience demonstrations of cartoons being created on the spot. The Contractor shall have the ability to create cartoons on the spot about BPD jobs and humor in the workplace. The Contractor shall refrain from using any foul language during the presentation on humor in the workplace. This is a business environment and we need the presenter to address a business audience. Above all, The Contractor will be humorous.

Upon completion of the course, participants shall be able to:
  • Understand the importance and power of humor in the workplace in a responsible manner
  • How to use talents in a creative way that adds humor in the workplace to everyday experiences in the workplace
  • Alleviate stress in home and the workplace
  • Know how and why humor in the workplace is important to communication in the workplace
  • Improve work-place relationships through humor in the workplace
  • Prevent burn-out... in the workplace
  • laugh maniacally at their impending doom

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If Barbara Boxer can get re-elected, than surely we will soon see the glorious world of Next Tuesday arrive! She is the antimatter of the Democratic party. If confronted with a clear, logical thought that was comprehended by her single-cell intellect, her single-cell brain would explode. Not that anyone would notice.

Really, we need to be more sublte than this when undermining Amerika. Overt race-baiting, patronization and intolerable arrogance need to wait until after we have all last vestiges of liberty in the USSA under wraps.


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Does His O'liness know how to handle a gun? I doubt sincerely that he'd bother to soil his hands with real hardware. He'd get SEIU goons to do it. Or call Janet Reno out of retirement. Now there's a broad who can kill innocent people.

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When Comrade Zobama is aiming at the proletariat he can handle anything, a bazooka, a rocket launcher... in fact back in early February 2009 I saw him shoulder a battalion of tanks equipped to wipe out billions at once!

And of course the latest spray: "Let's not be to quick to jump to conclusions about motive... Allah Akbar!!!!"

As Comrade Mao so succinctly pointed out: “Every Communist must grasp the truth: Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun...”

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But Comrade Zobama can commandeer all the guns. I'm sure that Mao never put in time on the firing range. But he could order all the guns that he needed.

With ACORN and SEIU we have all the storm troopers needed.

And what about the raid on ACORN in Lousiana?
Last month, [ Louisiana ]Attorney General Buddy Caldwell, the father of David Caldwell, said he would step up an investigation into allegations that the embezzlement may have been as high as $5 million.
ACORN said the $5 million figure was "a worst-case scenario" for what the embezzlement potentially could cost the group.

Now how are people in New Orleans going to get advice on laundering money from child prostitution rings?

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Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Good thing your boat cruise didn't include an eco-friendly shower of biodegradable waste, courtesy of a visiting celebrity, as happened in Chi-town on August 10, 2004. It sounds like your guides would have welcomed it, however. Manna from prog heaven, as it were. I hope you got to ride the crumbling el!

Comrade_Tovarich and Comrade Red Square,

Just an update on the eco-friendly shower of biodegradable waste: When the "visiting celebrity" rained on that parade—in a literal sense—don Daley made them pay for their eco-crimes so that many hard-working union proles could receive their equal pay and lowly minority school children could continue their indoctrination unionized education.

While it's a privilege to have visiting celebrities depositing eco-waste, this is a regular daily routine with our homeless proles, who deposit their own showers, without any fanfare or publicity. Nonetheless, they carry on one of the finer traditions Chicago is also known for.

" A shower by any other name is still a shower"
~Jack Büt
The Peoples Ruminator

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Comrade Red Square,

Chicago may seem like that glittering jewel of the midwest, but I can assure you that's it's nothing more than a capitalist front to lure unexpected rich tourists in for the Chicago-style shakedown. [don] Daley is a well-known soldier for the Cause™. He single-handedly destroyed the unfair capitalist system within while having his union workers create the ultimate capitalist trap. What a genius the don is!

During your trip I hope you also had your "patriotic bad-boy" on while you indulged yourself in the glorious 11% sales tax the don has placed on all goods (and a hefty jizyah on non-conformist visitors). The don knows that extra taxes means extra patriotism and more equality for all—especially the minority children.

I hope you felt safe and secure while enjoying your visit. The don made sure that NO ONE owns a gun in Chicago! He is looking out for his fellow comrades for their collective safety. I'm sure you've heard about lots of murders happening in one weekend in Chicago. What you didn't know was that those people who were murdered were capitalist pigs who refused to pay the jizyah to the neigborhood proles who are outstanding, fine citizens of the Party™. They work for the Party™ but are considered subcontractors in their own right.

I'm glad to see you enjoyed gorging yourself on all the greasy, high-in-cholesterol, saturated fat and carbs food that was being distributed at Bread Line Square. The purpose is not only to feed the masses cheap and unhealthy food at confiscatory prices, but to also glean the unsuspecting rich capitalist visitor who dares to tread unwarily. But fear not: it's all for the Common Good™ of the don. The don is good. The don is all-knowing.

Chicago may look good on the outside, but underneath that paint and varnish is something that even Saul Alinsky, Bill Ayers, William Wright, Calypso Louis, Rahm Emanuel, Danny Davis, "dick" Durbin, Jan Shakkkowski, Mark Kirk, George Ryan, Toddler Stroger, and most notably, The Hair® can love. They are all fine and outstanding comrades, who are dedicated and committed to the destruction of the Evil Capitalist Empire™; to the redistribution of the Peoples Wealth™ and for the Common Good™. These fine and outstanding Workers For The People call Chicago home.

I'm glad you enjoyed your trip! Please come again next time you feel that white guilt pressing in and you need to redeem it.

"Greasy, unhealthy food is good for the masses. It nourishes the body at the same time it controls the population."
Jack Büt
The Peoples Ruminator


 
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