Spitzer: Operation Corner Office

State police descended on Wall Street early this morning in a major crackdown on money-grubbing capitalist reprobates, commonly known by their derogatory name, "Wall Street CEOs." The massive dragnet, dubbed "Operation Corner Office," was organized and coordinated by a legendary people's New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, whose dedication to class struggle has earned him respect and adoration of all the city's 402,281 welfare recipients.

Spitzer's unique analytical skills allowed him to narrow down the breeding ground of the endemic spreading of capitalist wealth to the corporate corner offices of the Lower Manhattan Financial District - and that's where most of the pestiferous hirelings were caught as they perpetrated their sickening capitalist racket - or, as they refer to it in criminal circles, "made money."

Within only a few minutes hundreds of white-collared CEOs were dragged through gold-encrusted corporate lobbies into the streets and hoarded into waiting police vans, to much of the excitement of local panhandlers.

Caught red-handed, they didn't even deny their dubious activities, such as, speaking over the intercoms, using calculators, and running complex profit-generating software. Now they pathetically hung on to their briefcases, cell phones, and crumpled Wall Street Journal pages, jeered by nearby crowds of idle Union workers who happened to be in the area with a giant inflatable rat, to picket a building management company that refused to pay $100/hr wages to garbage collectors.

Progressive media views Spitzer's new sweeping tactics as an attempt to ease the burden on his staff who have been overworked rattling off subpoenas to everybody from Wall Street CEOs to the Naked Cowboy to the Central Park Coyote.

"It will save time and a lot of taxpayers' money if Attorney General simply rounds up every suit on Wall Street instead of spending tedious legal man-hours firing off subpoenas," agrees Spitzer's political campaign manager. "This show of fiscal responsibility can benefit Mr. Spitzer's run for Governor in November."

Early reports indicated that some of the white-collar miscreants had commandeered a small boat and escaped across the river to New Jersey, where Spitzer's powers are rumored to be useless. It is being alleged that the dragnet also picked up a few innocent bystanders and generally anyone who looked like they earned over $100K.The detainees are currently being held at a NYPD tow pound on the West Side of Manhattan.

Eliot Spitzer, who denies any tactical errors, later claimed a decisive victory in the war against capitalist prosperity. "Money is offensive to my constituents who can't make money themselves and instead have to beg for it in government offices," he said later at a Midtown press conference.

"We must clean our streets from the rich corporate scum that's been infesting them. Nobody earning over a hundred thousand a year is innocent. Let's all work together to make our city safe again for the homeless to frolic without the fear of being offended by tactless display of prosperity," he finished to a standing ovation from an audience of mainstream media reporters.

Some retrogrades would call Spitzer an "extortionist" who threatens a corporation with a phony lawsuit that would cost them millions in legal fees and damage control. They "appease the beast" with a settlement hoping he would go away.

But every corporate payoff makes the beast stronger and his appetite bigger. He then threatens their neighbor, and then the next neighbor - until the entire block on Wall Street is paying ransom, and then the next block, and so on. He learned it from the Unions who in their turn learned it from the Sicilian Mafia. If this continues, many New Yorkers fear they may have to vote for Spitzer in November just to "appease the beast."
 

Yes!  Yesssss!

About time H&R Block was penalized for helping the poor enter the capitalist system!  These people have no business saving their own money!  Who do they think they are?  So what if H&R Block lost money dealing with low income accounts?  They were stealing from the Lottery!  That is the real retirement plan for the poor.  Elliot is my man!  More to follow!
 

Eliot during the day and at night!
 

With our permission RCA Music Group (Sony BMG) uses our "Eliot Spitzer Approved" image in a humorous promotion of Bo Bice single - see Page 1 of today's R&R Street Talk Daily published by Radio & Records.

CLARIFICATION: This is not a joke - it's a real ad by RCA Records, believe it or not. The studio's joke is in title of the new single, "The Real Thing." It's a sort of an inside joke, though. Spitzer had sued the industry for allegedly practicing payola (fake ratings), so they "strike back" with a song which Attorney General had supposedly investigated and approved as "The Real Thing." R&R is a trade newsletter for the music industry, and the recipients are expected to find this ad hilarious.




 

We need the KGB to track down those escaped CEO's in New Jersey
 

I  am not worried about escapee CEO's in NJ. His Progressive Excellency Marshal Corzine will use his elite hobo shock troopers to round up these scoundrels and put them to work in one of many mafia/state owned cement factories....
 

The imagery regarding Spitzer created by the comrades at the CUBE are simply outstanding...

Classic...
 

His running mate David Paterson has some truly progressive ideas about Policing. In his former role as State Senator he proposed legislation that would make resisting arrest legal. Also any cop who doesn't shoot at a suspects arms or legs would be charged with manslaughter.


The Dick List
 

So, Mr. Spitzer has decided to do some "undercover" work. I hope he has the photos to prove he was strictly doing the peoples business. This man will go far in the Party.
 

Spitzer's extravagant taste in dressing up prostitutes was in full compliance with his high ranking in the Democrat Party hierarchy. Not more and not less than it is required of a Superdelegate.



He has labored hard as a Governor to level the field and open opportunities to the toiling masses of sex workers. His proposition to have "unsafe sex," however, is an indication of moral rot that has taken over the Governor's soul and may serve as a legitimate ground to demand his resignation.

Following this unseemly episode of endangering safety of a sex toiler at the workplace, it is recommended that a nation-wide Safe Sex Awareness Week be instituted every year on this day of March 10th, immediately following the progressive UN-sanctioned International Women's Day on March 8th.
 

 

 

Spitzer's suggestive gestures and sign language have gone unnoticed for a long time...


 

Ummm....
 

Spitzer-Nifong is the truly ideal peoples/democrat ticket.
 

I strongly suspect that this will be nothing more than short-term public embarrassment for Spitzer. There has already been at least one vomit-inducing brilliant blog at DKos explaining how Spitzer is immune to hypocrisy because he is a member of The People's Party.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/3/10/161553/502/194/473722 (H/T to the hate mongers at LGF!) To be fair, not all the Kidz agree with blogger Swan's take on this but the attitude is not uncommon in Prog circles.
 

In this regard I'd like to quote myself:

SURVIVAL OF THE SLICKEST
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=845

Red Square

In today's evolutionary struggle we liberals are the fittest species. Conservatives are so easy - accuse them of committing a sin and they resign and disappear from public sight forever. We in the progressive community are much smarter - we don't believe in sin. It makes us invulnerable to criticism. That's why we're taking over this stupid country. However crazy, irresponsible, and outright criminal our behavior is, you can't call us sinful because that would be forcing your values on us. You can't call us hypocrites because we never said we were perfect. You can't say we've lost shame because we can't lose what we don't have. Human imperfection is our standard, our goal, or breeding ground, our primordial soup if you will. We stand for nothing and have no values except those that may hypothetically exist in a distant socialist utopia that may or may not happen.


 

Red Square

However crazy, irresponsible, and outright criminal our behavior is, you can't call us sinful because that would be forcing your values on us. You can't call us hypocrites because we never said we were perfect. You can't say we've lost shame because we can't lose what we don't have. Human imperfection is our standard, our goal, or breeding ground, our primordial soup if you will.


*sniff* that is so beautiful *sniff*
 

Ha! ha! $1000 tricks? $5000 tricks?
$80,000?
No wonder the price of fresh meat has gone up.
Ah ha! ha!


His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross’], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.
 

This is exactly why our Progressive community doesn't like wiretaps!
 

Red Square

In today's evolutionary struggle we liberals are the fittest species. Conservatives are so easy - accuse them of committing a sin and they resign and disappear from public sight forever. We in the progressive community are much smarter - we don't believe in sin. It makes us invulnerable to criticism. That's why we're taking over this stupid country. However crazy, irresponsible, and outright criminal our behavior is, you can't call us sinful because that would be forcing your values on us. You can't call us hypocrites because we never said we were perfect. You can't say we've lost shame because we can't lose what we don't have. Human imperfection is our standard, our goal, or breeding ground, our primordial soup if you will. We stand for nothing and have no values except those that may hypothetically exist in a distant socialist utopia that may or may not happen.

I will say that at least a few Republicans (Vitter, Craig) have learned from this playbook. Interesting to note however, that neither of them got the full-on apologia the Spitzer is getting or that past Heroes Of The People (Clinton, any Kennedy, William Jefferson, et al) have gotten. The Gerry Studds vs. Mark Foley comparison is still a perfect example of the duplicity we see in the coverage of these situations and in their outcomes. Foley resigned in disgrace and his party lost his house seat because he got drunk and made lewd comments to a 17(?) year old "child" in an IM session. Studds took a teen of approximately the same age out of the country, got him drunk and had sex with him, yet after a "harsh scolding" from Congress in 1983, went on to serve with distinction for another 14 years.

A brief comment on Red Square's post quoted above. The money line "We stand for nothing and have no values except those that might hypothetically exist in a distant socialist utopia that may or may not happen" could be shortened to "We stand for nothing and have no values except those which advance our consolidation of power." There is no sin too great to be forgiven if one is a member of The Party, except the sin of impeding The Party.

The problem here too is that, while sexual impropriety is not confined to one party, neither are any other failings. And yet again, Democrats usually get a more sympathetic hearing from our "unbiased, not-Liberal" media. Even if we accept the moronic claim that Democrats can't be judged by the same standards as Republicans in matters of sexual conduct, what about other forms of corruption? Remember the constant cries about the Republican "culture of corruption" back in 2006? Notice how Reid's land deals and Pelosi's Amgen ties both fail to gain any traction? What happened to concerns about the appearance of impropriety? I also enjoy noting that in the time Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was being investigated for taking bribes, CA Congressman Randy Cunningham was investigated, indicted, convicted and jailed for the same thing! In fact, Jefferson continues to hold his seat (although without his committee appointment) even after being indicted.
 

This all comes back to that old chestnut of "personal responsibility." The moronic Republicans always feel that they need to take responsibility for their actions and the effects on their family and co-workers, and there is no coming back from that, as we all know.

We enlightened Progressives, on the other hand, need not take any responsibility for our actions, as evidenced by Mr. Spitzer's press conference, where he held himself up nobly, chin held high, mater-of-factly announcing that he had already apologized to his family for "violating" his "obligations" in this "private matter," and will "now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family." Good enough for me. If his wife can forgive him for violating his obligations, who am I to demand more from him?

And he apologized to me too, anyway. What a great progressive leader:

Gov. Eliot Spitzer stated, rather than

I apologize to the public, whom I promised better. I do not believe that politics in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good and doing what is best for the State of New York.
That's right - it's not about his dealings in his personal life, it's about what's best for the common good. All those other people were breaking the law and creating disorder. Gov. Spitzer only made an error in judgment in a personal matter.
 

We must change the subject quickly!

Larry Craig!

See how easy it is to change the frequency?
 

Comrade Spitz is the unfortunate recipient of another capitalistic, Zionists attack. The capitalist found his weakness and played upon it. He attempted to keep the glorious revolution in play in the People's Republic of New York but reactionary forces attacked Comrade Spitzer and ruined his attempts. Comrade Spitzer was tempted by feminine wiles......(many many many times). Who could resist the temptations of pretty, young, illiterate, drug addled, prostitutes? How many good revolutionaries haven't spent 80,000 dollars on a plethora of young prostitutes? The oldest profession has, once again, ruined a member of the dirtiest profession......(no..I mean most glorious profession). After a few months in the rehabilitation camps, Comrade Spitzer will emerge with new vigor to promote our glorious Revolutionary Cause.
 

sovietskayakaputnik

After a few months in the rehabilitation camps, Comrade Spitzer will emerge with new vigor to promote our glorious Revolutionary Cause.

And he will succeed!!! Why? Because he will be force fed filled with a new found love of The Revolution Next Tuesday™ and to help The Party™ make the United Socialist States of Amerika a reality for ... *sniff* ... The Children™!!!

--
ZB
 

Laika the Space Dog

We must change the subject quickly!

Larry Craig!

See how easy it is to change the frequency?


<Adjusting_tinfoil_hat>

Ah yes! Much better.

Too bad Larry is not a Democrat. That way we could rally to his defense, and warmly embrace him as a victim of the homophobic culture perpetuated by the RethugliKKKans.

Instead, we have to destroy him for being a hypocrite, and for sexually assaulting someone in the mens room, and for being a child molester, and for taking welfare money away from the unwashed masses, and for being cruel and mean spirited in general, and anything else we care to make up and smear him with. It's a good thing that our P.R. Dept. (ABC, CNN, NBC, CBS, the NY Times, The Washington Pravda Post, etc.) is so effective. The proles fall for anything our P.R. Dept. say. Like a bunch of lemmings.

--
ZB