Polish Comrades Modify The People's Cube To Their Needs



The letter, signed by Slawomir Sierakowski, editor-in-chief of the Polish "Krytyka Polityczna", organ of the progressive wing of the Communist Party of Poland, indignantly criticizes us for misleading the masses into a "sinister bourgeois trap" of believing in a "competition with a human face."
Below is the full text of the letter from Polish comrades:
We cure weak liberalism with strong communism!


"American capitalists tried to undermine our morale with a puzzle that is too complex for a simple comrade!"

On the cutting edge of societal evolution: Hugo Chavez is testing the Polish People's Cube at the UN.

Dear American Comrades!

Setting goals for the masses demands a class watchfulness. To aim toward a bright future one must have a clear understanding of what is possible for a simple comrade and what is not. Remember that anything is possible for comrades as a collective, while a comrade as an individual is incapable of a single meaningful act. Forgetting this simple truth can mislead you into a sinister bourgeois illusion that competition may actually be winnable. And that is the case of your so-called People's Cube.
Still worse - it gives the impression that there are some different ways of finding the solution, some different possibilities of resolving it. Don't you remember, comrades, that there should only be One Way, One Thought, One Idea?But heads up! We found the solution. After long and exhausting consultations with general Jaruzelski, Adam Michnik and Professor Zygmunt Bauman, we are proud to announce the Polish People's Cube!

Slawomir Sierakowski
Warsaw, Poland

The People's Cube commentary:
Dear Polish comrades! We congratulate you on your scientific achievement. You have advanced the progressive Marxist theory to even further limits. A non-rotating one-segment model is indeed the ultimate phase of the progressive idea, suitable for the final stage of societal evolution when all competition shall wither away along with the notions of state, family, and private property.But in America where we have the misfortune to reside, your model may appear too radical, which may alienate some of the moderates. A few decades of proper conditioning and subliminal re-education are required before your version can even be considered for mass distribution.
The sad fact is that in this country, in this day and age, some forms of competition still continue to depress the toiling masses. Therefore, our traditional model will better accommodate their perception of reality. We propose a peaceful co-existence of the two models. While your version of the People's Cube is more suitable in the countries of victorious socialism, let our traditional version continue to educate the toiling classes in the non-socialist economic region of dying capitalism. That will allow our respective Parties to set proper goals for the masses most effectively.Red Square
ThePeoplesCube.com

Competition:
Barbaric, insensitive ritual steeped in social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive in our society. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy, moral, and prosperous as a collective. A progressive society of the future, steeped in diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism, shall have no winners. Everyone will be a loser, which in our book means ethical team player.


Who will provide the paper?
Who will provide the scissors?
Will they be sharp scissors with capitalist tendencies or the safer, less assuming blunt-nosed safety scissors of which Engels spoke so highly of in his kindergarten memoirs?
The glorious state must immediately execute the oppressive bourgeious and reclaim from them the Polish People's Cubes unlawfully stolen from the proliteriat! Only then will the people be lifted from the burdens of cutting and gluing their own cubes.
Viva le Cuben revolucion!


Mr Snuggle Bunny
Only then will the people be lifted from the burdens of cutting and gluing their own cubes.We think Mr Snuggle Bunny is on to something here. Instead of "cutting and running" our strategy must be redefined as "cutting and gluing." Or is it the other way around? I'm confused... Of course, when we say "glue" we mean it as in "Collectivism is the glue that holds our group together." Or do we mean the Elmer School Glue? You must excuse me comrades, it's been a long day here at the Politburo, filled with the usual daily grind related to resolving the People's Cube puzzle.

I await the order to begin adjusting records and photographs.





So instead, please try this new progressive People's Dice of Equality!
Karl Marx Treatment Center has just released this test model as a follow-up to the People's Cube puzzle. Soon coming to public schools everywhere.

In Soviet Russia, crap shoots you!

Red Square
Mr Snuggle Bunny
Only then will the people be lifted from the burdens of cutting and gluing their own cubes.We think Mr Snuggle Bunny is on to something here. Instead of "cutting and running" our strategy must be redefined as "cutting and gluing." Or is it the other way around? I'm confused... Of course, when we say "glue" we mean it as in "Collectivism is the glue that holds our group together." Or do we mean the Elmer School Glue? You must excuse me comrades, it's been a long day here at the Politburo, filled with the usual daily grind related to resolving the People's Cube puzzle.
If I may suggest a few things. We might not want to use Elmer's School Glue. Because everyone is equal, some people may be offended at having to use glue meant for children undergoing their early indoctrination. I suggest we use Gorilla Glue. Not only is it almost as strong and tough as Comrade Stalin was, it's emblem, a gorilla, represents man's progression. Human kind's progression through evolution is similar to how dialectics tells us capitalism will be replaced through progress. It invites thoughts on how enlightened human kind will be in a brighter, socialist future. Also, we may have to post a warning. The state through the Party is always right, and a big bureaucracy is always good, and should have a larger role in the lives of the proletariat. So therefore I suggest we post a warning that the masses should not run with the scissors. After all, those warnings on cups of coffee are necessary...not everyone is aware that the contents could be hot. Directions may be needed also, so that the proletarian masses know what side of the cube to "strategically redeploy" with glue to its matching side.


Regarding the Gorilla Glue, we have two suggestions:
2. Change it to Primate Glue, to bring up the points you've raised about the societal evolution

- or -
1. Rename it into Guerilla Glue and adorn it with the image of comrade Che Guevara: Bonds Rich White Liberals, Felons, Terrorists & More!




Various Comrades I talked to in the nearest University café take the view that it could be interpreted as a camouflaged fascist reference that the Comrade who wants to cut out the cube has to cut out a longer distance to the Right than to the Left when You take the measure from the vertical line on. Therefore I beseech You for turning the dice outline into the opposite direction, so that the primal direction of cutting out will be the same direction that the progress of mankind will gladfully lead us. Otherwise I will surely have to face the duty of self criticism before my Comrades from the Green Partys and SED/PDS and SLARP (super left wing autonomistr radical party) student`s group in Göttingen or the FU Berlin in a very painful way.


In Soviet Russia, boxcars roll you!


Comrade Laika believes that this version will better suit the spirit of total equality. The one dot also signifies the eye of the Party that sees all. A roll of 2 shall be called Party Eyes...
Make every roll a Party Eyes roll!



Comrade Clyde
On The People's Dice of Equality, the enemies of the People will always roll boxcars, and those boxcars will take them East to settle the New Lands in Siberia.In Soviet Russia, boxcars roll you!
Comrade Clyde,
You must keep your keen observations about boxcars to yourself, you may roll "Party Eyes" and continue to shoot "Craps".... Communists Really Are Progressive Socialists.
Everybody is a winner in this CRAPS game....NO LOSERS!







Comrade Clyde
I am chastened. Where shall I report for re-education, comrade?No Comrade, no need for re-education, but what goes on in Vegasgrad stays in Vegasgrad.
L.







Red Square
Comrade Cons. Underground sent us this picture with a note saying "Life once again imitates the Cube" and a recommendation to issue a Fatwa against The Looking Spoon.The attachment Obama_Dice.jpg is no longer available
Comrade Red Square!
I hearby DENOUNCE the Looking Spoon for these dice!
They are reactionary and in no way reflect the CURRENT truth of our glorious Leader's (PBUH)
I hearby request we


I swear to Marx — I transmit this thread to Comrades in Poland ! NOW !
Postcard from PL :
( if Anglo-speak has any weaknesses, it's this : no idea how to form real heartfelt diminutives. )
Now : (pol.) słoneczko is to słońce (sun) like (en) mousie is to mouse ( huh, (pol.) myszka to mysz ).
(and it has that intimate touch, like in buddy, like in sweetie, like in kiddie)
ZAPROSZENIE (invitation) : to an exhibition (initiated in 2003, opened in 2008),
its title : ZGASŁO SŁONECZKO LUDZKOŚCI = The SŁONECZKO of Mankind Disappeared.
(ach, Soso - promienne słoneczko w naszych sercach !)
(alack, (Batyushka) Soso - the shining sun in our hearts !)