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Muslims Riot Over Having Nothing To Riot About

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Scores were injured and numerous buildings were burnt to the ground in the city of Itsnotsobad in the Islamic Republic of Whereizitstan, after a riot was started by peaceful Muslims who expressed outrage over five straight days of no provocation or insults from the West.

Mahmoud Iwannariotbad, a local businessman who sells detonators, wire, and dynamite to the local mosque construction industry, stated that the violence began when a group of men hanging around in his store began discussing the fact that no new anti-Islam films, subway advertisements, or Pamela Geller blog postings had appeared for a number of days.

One of them began shouting, "They are NOT INSULTING us because they think we are all violent, stupid thugs and not peace-loving sons of the prophet. This is an insult to Islam! Let's kill them!"

"Suddenly, they all wanted to buy detonators, wire, and dynamite," Mr. Iwannariotbad continued. "I thought they were going to break ground for a new Islamic cultural center or something. There's no reasoning with peaceful religious types when they get in the mood to build new mosques - they're like animals."
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The small group, which became larger as it roamed through the town visiting other retailers of detonators, wire, and dynamite, decided to target the American consulate in Itsnotsobad.

Upon arrival, they discovered that the consulate had not yet been rebuilt after its destruction during last month's riot and film seminar. Many felt offended by the fact that America no longer wished to have a consulate in their peace-loving religious nation, which was perceived as a sign of Western racism and yet another insult to Islam.

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At this point, the crowd went on a largely peaceful but enthusiastic rampage, destroying most of the commercial enterprises in the city, which were predominantly warehouses storing detonators, wire, and dynamite.

President Obama made no immediate comment, having a prior commitment to appear on "Bowling for Dollars" hosted by Whoopi Goldberg's cousin Yippee.

The State Department described the violence as a "pre-scheduled terrorist attack," which had nothing to do with a lack of anti-Islam films. "President Obama's policy is to defend freedom of speech and improve relations with the Muslim community by arresting anyone who insults Islam - or doesn't insult Islam as an underhanded way to insult Islam," stated Phillipe Rains, Hillary Clinton's personal spokesman. "This policy is working, so you'll do well to shut your pie-hole," he added.

White House Press Secretary James Carney reiterated earlier president's statement, "The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam, don't slander the prophet of Islam, and anyone in between. We can't be allowed to use free speech for selfish purposes, such as, expressing our opinions."

Having praised the President's determination to protect free speech, the professional American media quickly resumed their important work of playing Mitt Romney's speeches backwards in the hopes of uncovering hidden gaffes and dog whistles.

However, speculations by unprofessional bloggers and second-rate foreign media insinuate that the "true facts" (as they put it) were being covered up in an attempt to avoid damage to President Obama's re-election prospects - a ludicrous reasoning, since not even Univision could possibly damage his 20-pt lead in the national polls.

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Dear Lenin, I was afraid it would come to this.



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Wait, I just remembered... while raiding a kapitalist liquor store I overheard a reichwing hatespeech propagandist playing a man on the street interview for a Michael Savage. In said interview, a partially educated person of color was being made to look the fool by agreeing to the misleading question "Does it bother you that Barack Obama is a Mormon?"

Now to the enlightened, religion is just an opiate of the masses, but our Mooslim comrades, they seem to take this stuff seriously. Calling one of their own a Mormon should stir the soup adequately for a nice riot, no?
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Tovarichi wrote:Now to the enlightened, religion is just an opiate of the masses, but our Mooslim comrades, they seem to take this stuff seriously. Calling one of their own a Mormon should stir the soup adequately for a nice riot, no?

Comrade, it would be much worse, no... much MUCH worse to call one of their own a <hack-spit> "christian".

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Tovarichi wrote:Now to the enlightened, religion is just an opiate of the masses, but our Mooslim comrades, they seem to take this stuff seriously.

Comrade, with all due respect, I take my religion very seriously.

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And I'm a artist'.

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Surely someone can give these fine folks something to be upset about.

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Comrade Jibaro, perhaps they are afraid the camera will take their spirit away?

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This nice little piece was edited out of the original article for length and coherency, but I feel it deserves to be preserved:

The President, during a guest appearance on the "Build Your Fortune in Real Estate" 3 AM infomercial, told host Jon Corzine that "The future must not belong to those who don't slander the prophet of Islam in order to slander the prophet of Islam."

Numerous insomniac academics and pundits immediately praised the president's statement for showing his determination to protect free speech from those who would use it for selfish purposes like expressing their opinions. The president went on to help the host sell numerous real estate courses which he said would enable the buyers help him pay off the huge national debt run up by his predecessor, George W. Bush.

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Don't worry about a thing. Lets send Jimmy Carter over there to talk to them.

Hey, its worth a shot. The only thing we've got to lose is Jimmy Carter.

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Muslim men were rioting to free the group "Pussy Riot" because they were misled to believe they were rioting for free pussy.... which caused even more rioting when the mistake was discovered......

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Muslim male attraction to this group of Russian female performers is understandable.....

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Comrade ROCK,

A Most Equal™ picture that really sums it up. Souls are in the brevity of wit... or life.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:Muslim men were rioting to free the group "Pussy Riot" because they were misled to believe they were rioting for free pussy.... which caused even more rioting when the mistake was discovered......

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Muslim male attraction to this group of Russian female performers is understandable.....

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As the People's Director, I'm getting a little tired with life imitating the People's Cube:

Muslim Riots Reach Europe: Part II

Muslim protests over an American-made anti-Islamic YouTube film, Innocence of Muslims, have spread to more European cities. Muslim rioters had initially clashed with police in Belgium, Britain and France, but since then, protests have spread to Austria, Denmark, Germany, Greece, Norway, Serbia and Switzerland.

In Germany, while thousands of Muslims took to the streets in various cities, the biggest demonstration took place in the Dortmund, where 1,500 Muslims holding Turkish flags marched through the city center on September 22. In Hanover, protests involved about 1,000 Muslims on September 23. In Baden-Württemberg, North Rhine-Westphalia and Lower Saxony police reported protests involving 1,600 people. Protests were also reported in Bergisch Gladbach, Cuxhaven, Münster, Freiburg and Karlsruhe.

A radical Islamist, Abu Assad al-Almani, has called for bombings and assassinations in Germany after it emerged that the actor who plays Mohammed in the anti-Islam movie was allegedly German. In an 8-page document, entitled "Settling Scores with Germany," and posted on the Internet on September 25, Abu Assad states: "In addition to the ugly cartoons, now the Americans have produced a film in which those pigs poke fun at our dear prophet and insult him."

Abu Assad continues: "The one who played our noble Messenger was a German;" he then calls for revenge attacks. He asks Muslims in Germany to attack any German citizen who supports the film by "cutting their heads from their bodies and capturing it on film so that it is accessible to the public, so that the whole of Germany, and even the whole of Europe, knows that their criminal games will be thwarted by the sword of Islam."

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Red Square wrote:As the People's Director, I'm getting a little tired with life imitating the People's Cube:

Muslim Riots Reach Europe: Part II

... He asks Muslims in Germany to attack any German citizen who supports the film by "cutting their heads from their bodies and capturing it on film so that it is accessible to the public, so that the whole of Germany, and even the whole of Europe, knows that their criminal games will be thwarted by the sword of Islam."
Image the next step is rounding up all women showing more than their eyeballs, and unregistered males who are not displaying a crecent and star...
Image "IF you see something, SAY something!"

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Woman and two children killed by mob in riots over 'blasphemous' Facebook post in Pakistan


Monday 28 July 2014
A woman, a child and a baby have died in Pakistan during riots over an allegedly blasphemous Facebook post. Their home was one of several set on fire in the city of Gujranwala on Sunday and another woman miscarried during the violence. The woman, her seven-year-old granddaughter and her baby sister died of suffocation, according to police officials.

The victims were members of the Ahmadi religious sect, who identify with Islam but are widely regarded as heretics in Pakistan and face persecution. Rioting erupted as rumours spread that a young Ahmadi man, identified as Saqib, shared a blasphemous picture on Facebook, Pakistan Today reported. It allegedly included the Kaaba — the cuboid building at the centre of the Grand Mosque in Mecca that Muslims face in prayer – and contained nudity.

A mob reportedly gathered outside Saqib's house and started protesting.

When they moved to a doctor's house where Ahmadis were thought to be hiding, someone inside reportedly shot at the mob and injured the man who had started the Facebook rumour.

The group then set five Ahmadi houses on fire, killing the woman and children and injuring several others. Pakistani television channels aired footage showing a mob armed with sticks, cheering outside the burning homes.

Differing sources claimed the woman was in her 30s and the girls were aged eight months and five years.

A police officer said another crowd of 150 people gathered at the local police station demanding the registration of a blasphemy case over the post.

The youth accused of making the original Facebook post had not been injured, he said.

Pakistan's blasphemy laws carry a potential death sentence for anyone accused of insulting Islam, although they also cover all religions and places of worship.

Ahmadis consider themselves Muslim but believe in a prophet after Mohammed, the self-proclaimed Ghulam Ahmad, who was born in 1835. He is not defined as a “law-giving” prophet but claimed to propagate the laws enunciated by Mohammed.

The sect is defined as non-Muslim in Pakistan and a law in 1984 made it illegal for Ahmadis for identify as Muslims or “pose as Muslims”. They are banned from using Muslim greetings, saying Muslim prayers or referring to their places of worship as a mosque.

Salim ud Din, a spokesman for the Ahmadi community, said it was the worst attack on the community since simultaneous attacks on Ahmadi places of worship killed 86 Ahmadis four years ago in Lahore.

“Police were there but just watching the burning. They didn't do anything to stop the mob,” he said. “First they looted their homes and shops and then they burnt the homes.”

In May, two Ahmadis, including a visiting American cardiologist of Pakistani origin, were shot and killed. In the same month, a lawyer and a human rights activist representing a university professor on trial for blasphemy were shot in the city of Multan.

Accusations of blasphemy are rocketing in Pakistan, from one in 2011 to at least 68 last year, according to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan. About 100 people have been accused of blasphemy so far this year.

Human rights workers say the allegations are increasingly being used to settle personal vendettas or to seize property from the accused.

Allah hates facebook, except when it inspires true believers to kill in his defense.


 
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