Life Imitates The Cube: Iran's Mullahs Photoshop A Missile

Once again, life imitates the People's Cube as Iran's Propaganda Department releases a photoshopped picture of a missile launch that directly follows our earlier advice to them, to photoshop their own fakes instead of stealing them from the People's Cube. As you may remember, in Dec. 2007, Iran's official propaganda website used our spoof image "Iran heart Jews" to illustrate a "current truth" that Jews are welcome in the Islamic Republic of Iran (see below).

~
Self-inflicted poetic justice: Part I

The original Farsi-language placard says "Nuclear power is our absolute right," meaning that the image was used as a propaganda tool to justify Iran's nuclear program - so it could threaten and maybe even annihilate the Jews in Israel.

In our spoof, we changed the message to the complete opposite, making it appear improbable. To be fair, the Mullahs' story about Iran's love for the Jews was just as improbable. It was only logical to put them together.

The Iranian Mullahs fell for it and used our spoof that ridiculed their stupid lies, to back more of their stupid lies, thus proving our original point that (a) they lie and (b) they are stupid.

Self-inflicted poetic justice: Part II

Here's another advice: learning Photoshop basics may get you a large star on the kitchen refrigerator and a bumper sticker for your mom that says "My Child Is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube" (curtesy of Commissarka Pinkie), but if you really, really want to defeat the Great Satan and its Zionist puppets (or is it the other way around?) you have to go beyond the clone stamp and learn how to apply the smudge tool. You will see how much fun it really is, once you get the hang of it.

That said, we must commend Iran's Propaganda Directorate for the innovative, energy-saving way to intimidate the Zionists. One fake missile out of four amounts to 25% savings in greenhouse emissions (data obtained by Marshal Pupovich).

We thank them for the moral, environmentally conscious approach to nuclear holocaust. We can only wish the Pentagon's nuclear mushrooms in Nevada Desert had also been photoshopped! That would have protected the environment, reduced the carbon footprint, and - as an added bonus - we would be all speaking Russian and using the metric system!

So, after all, the Iranian government, its elite Revolutionary Guards, and its Ministry of Culture and Guidance to Islam deserve Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award, which comes with a coupon book good for 25 rubles worth of goods and services at Vlad's Discount Military Hardware, yours for only $100.00.

We'll also ask Pinkie to send their moms bumper stickers that say "My Child Is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube." Coming Soon: Bumper stickers that say, "My Kid Had Your Beet of the Week Kid Purged."

This post was prompted by an email from the masses:

Comrade Rogue

In Lenin's name, greetings, Comrade!

In the People's glorious news item, The People's Cube Pwns Iranian Propaganda, you noted that the Iranians must learn to Photoshop ideologically correct images themselves. And praise Marx, thanks to their glorious People's Five-Year Photoshop Project, they have now done so! Glory to the great Iranian People's Revolution, long may they stand against the imperialist pig-dogs!

Comrade Rogue

For this, Comrade Rogue also receives Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award:

 

Comrade Cube, don't you feel that this was the right thing for the Iranians to do? After all.they were able to cut back on their carbon footprint by 25% in this method! If only we would photoshop more of our tests!
 

I hope Faux News doesn't get a hold of this story. Thankfully, we control the DNC's P.R. Dept. (ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN) and can make them keep their mouths closed on this.
 

Now they have just taken the very first step in the glorious path of Islamic Photoshopping.

Comrades, I gladly introduce you in a series of Religion of Peace™ themed manipulations:




 

What's scary is the fact that they're trying to develop nuclear weapons and they can't do a passable job using Photoshop™. I just hope they do the same quality of work when they manufacture the triggering mechanism.
 

Why don't they just cut to the chase and photoshop total victory over the Zionists? They could then go around doing a Gore-like schtick claiming that everyone else is denying the reality of zionistlessness.

Zionistlessness? I think I have been too much chewing the qaat. I denounce myself.


 

This is just another good reason to impeach George Bush!
 

Red Bubba, I bet Fourth of July May Day celebrations at your house are a blast!
 

But who is paying for the carbon credits for all that smoke?
 

Red Bubba, that Total Victory shot above is Propaganda Picture Of The Week! Is it proper to applaud you while you're denouncing yourself? What's the etiquette here?
 

I see no problem here. As you recall, I was more than proud to denounce myself, For the Common Good™ of course. Comrade Bubba did well to denounce himself.
 

Self-denunciation is a favorite Party tradition, standing between reporting family to the KGB and self-criticism with a side arm. Call me crazy, but I also like self-criticism with a shovel and often proscribe it to comrades as a path to self-correction and thoughtcrime prevention.
 

Yes, self-denuciation and its associated activities can be a rewarding pastime, both for the individual and the Party. I fondly remember performing corrective surgery on myself, which was exhilirating!

Comrade Red Bubba, qaat is good for you. But don't let me stand in the way of your self-denunciation.
 

Once again, we have proof that Iran is a peaceful country. The US of KKKA never photoshops their missile launches! This only shows we need to unilaterally meet with the mullahs, without any preconditions. Wait, didn't the messiah CHANGE his mind on that? Oh now I remember... this week's theme is Kansas values. Yes that's it... we need to invite the Iranians to a Kansas style BBQ without any conditions (or whatever they do in Kansas).
 

Ivan Betinov

Red Bubba, I bet Fourth of July May Day celebrations at your house are a blast!

A timely observation. All of us here in the breezy atmosphere of Hope and Change at the People's Sewage Treatment Plant will be suspending all reason and common sense and celebrating "National Summer Learning Day" which is our Great Hopeful Helmsman's greatest legislative accomplishment. Apparently it was a one-time 2007 deal, but we can be nostalgic for the time when BHO was pushing his bold progressive agenda for the common good. I mean, "learning", you can imagine how many conservatives opposed this bill? Cheney must have slept through the day or he would have made EGWB veto the resolution.

S. Res. 268: A resolution designating July 12, 2007, as "National Summer Learning Day"Bill

Introduced:	Jul 11, 2007
Sponsor:	Sen. Barack Obama [D-IL]
Status:	Passed Senate
	Go to Bill Status Page

 

Comrade Bubba, thank you once again for pointing out the important work done by the Obamessiah. I noticed yet another example of the great work he has done at that site:

"Statistic: Barack Obama missed 268 of 1240 votes (22%) since Jan 6, 2005 (Exceedingly Poor relative to peers)."

That the Obamessiah had the good sense to absent himself from so many votes taken by a Congress with a 9% approval rating speaks well of this wise man. It is all in the progressive way to look at facts Comrades.
 

What an amazing piece of legislation!!!!!! The Obama Messiah is truly a gifted statesman!!!
 

Marshal Pupovich

"Statistic: Barack Obama missed 268 of 1240 votes (22%) since Jan 6, 2005 (Exceedingly Poor relative to peers)."


I don't believe you're using people math when it is most needed....
 

The Messiah as a community organizer has soul!

 

Premier, you are of course correct. With PeoplesMath™ Obamessiah's voting record is the best record in legislative history, and the Congress in which he serves the most popular! Good catch!
 

Red Bubba

Why don't they just cut to the chase and photoshop total victory over the Zionists?


Holy F%$k!
Once again I am shown how unworthy I am to have access to this website.!
OMFG!
LMAO!

Just when I though I had a bead on everything!

You guys and hairy arm-pitted women here are gifted!
 

Comrades, we must congratulate our Iranian Islamic comrades.

I shall personally don my skimpiest belly dancer outfit and do a dance of the seven veils for our beloved mullahs. Then I shall volunteer to be the seventy-third virgin for the next Iranian martyr and personally introduce him to Allah!

XOXOXOXOXO

Nadezhda Alliluyeva
 

Navigator

Red Bubba

Why don't they just cut to the chase and photoshop total victory over the Zionists?


Holy F%$k!
Once again I am shown how unworthy I am to have access to this website.!
OMFG!
LMAO!

Just when I though I had a bead on everything!

You guys and hairy arm-pitted women here are gifted!

Comrade, I must protest your slander of revolutionary women. I shave my armpits daily.

If you persist in such defamatory posts, I shall whack you over the head with my curling iron.

XOXOXOXO

Nadezhda Alliluyeva
 

I was also also wondering who the mystery "hairy arm-pitted women" could be since Pinkie was nowhere near this thread, and Margaret's armpits are as hairless as her uncle Kaching's forehead.
 

Premier Betty

Marshal Pupovich

"Statistic: Barack Obama missed 268 of 1240 votes (22%) since Jan 6, 2005 (Exceedingly Poor relative to peers)."


I don't believe you're using people math when it is most needed....

105% voting record. Best in the Senate.
Did anyone get something different?
 

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

Comrade, I must protest your slander of revolutionary women. I shave my armpits daily.
If you persist in such defamatory posts, I shall whack you over the head with my curling iron.
XOXOXOXO
Nadezhda Alliluyeva
I knew there was something I liked about revolutions!:

Getting wacked!

Now you know how I got my Avatar.

Surly, Comrade Alliluyeva, you must see many car wagon wrecks everyday?
 

How close can one shave one's armpits with a shovel?
 

Okay,I wasn't aware of the revolutionary clout that one could engender by not shaving one's armpits....sounds like a breeding ground for revolutionary stank, if you ask me.
I'm as progressive as I can possibly be,but I'll take a pass on the hairy revolution.
 

Hussies n' Thingies

Okay,I wasn't aware of the revolutionary clout that one could engender by not shaving one's armpits....sounds like a breeding ground for revolutionary stank, if you ask me.
I'm as progressive as I can possibly be,but I'll take a pass on the hairy revolution.

After all.... you are not French!!!!

--
ZB
 

Now wait just a minute.... how many shaved armpits do you see at a Code Pink rally? Ir Woodstock for that matter? Only the republican oppressors women are bound to shaving their armpits, a most unnatural condition I might add. I am seriously questioning some of the progressive spirit I see around here.
 

Navigator

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

Comrade, I must protest your slander of revolutionary women. I shave my armpits daily.
If you persist in such defamatory posts, I shall whack you over the head with my curling iron.
XOXOXOXO
Nadezhda Alliluyeva
I knew there was something I liked about revolutions!:

Getting wacked!

Now you know how I got my Avatar.

Surly, Comrade Alliluyeva, you must see many car wagon wrecks everyday?

Yes comrade Navigator. There are many wagon wrecks daily. Such are undoubtedly caused by reactionary saboteurs or perhaps global warming.
 

Marshal Pupovich

Now wait just a minute.... how many shaved armpits do you see at a Code Pink rally?

/karacter off

ROTFLMAO!!!

That got my morning off to a good laugh. And it made me wonder.... Can them thar' Code Pink-Os braid their armpit hair? And hang little beads from them?

/karacter on
 

Marshal Pupovich

How close can one shave one's armpits with a shovel?

Comrade Marshall, with all due respect, I use the bayonet on my AK-47. Here is a recent photo of me entertaining the Politburo at Comrade Zinoviev's dacha. Does this not look like a close shave to you?


 

Marshal Pupovich

Now wait just a minute.... how many shaved armpits do you see at a Code Pink rally? Ir Woodstock for that matter? Only the republican oppressors women are bound to shaving their armpits, a most unnatural condition I might add. I am seriously questioning some of the progressive spirit I see around here.

Comrade Marshall, I must protest again. How many forced labor camps do Code Pink run? How many reactionaries have they executed in the past week? They are mere amateurs.
 

I can't believe I'm having to make a post on this particular subject, and in mixed company, no less.

All Hussies have hairless pits, because the Sacred Feminine Michelle Magdalene does, and we have been constantly assured that she is Just Like Us. We are eagerly awaiting further light from her as to how the hair should be removed, whether it is by razor, wax, shovel, bayonet, or a hockey stick, etc. We have great faith that further information on this very important issue will be made available to us at any moment, anywhere.

In the meantime, the VRWC will saturate the blogosphere with petty nonsense about how the hair has been "scrubbed out", much the same as the Obamessiah's so-called previous position on the surge posted at his website; or for that matter, non-persons allegedly once photographed with Stalin. We'd rather not comment or confirm any of that as it would only create another distraction.
 

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

Marshal Pupovich

How close can one shave one's armpits with a shovel?

Comrade Marshall, with all due respect, I use the bayonet on my AK-47...
I just use the AK...
 

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

Comrade Marshall, with all due respect, I use the bayonet on my AK-47. Here is a recent photo of me entertaining the Politburo at Comrade Zinoviev's dacha. Does this not look like a close shave to you?


Aunt Nadzha, you need not be so formal with me, at least when not on Party business. Do you not recognize your great great nephew?

Any way, I was just pointing out that the "ease on the eyes" was much different when ones such as you were manning the barricades. People from those days knew what real struggle against imperialism was about. These days, alas, we have "comrades" such as this advocating for our cause...



I do not even wish to know whether she shaves under her arms or with what sort of chain saw she uses to accomplish such a task.
 

Dear me. Never mind the underarms. I would be more curious about underwear--or would she even trouble herself with that?
 

With over hang like that, how would one even know if she wore underwear? Comrades like her make servicing the many needs of Nancy and Hillary seem tame.
 

Marshal Pupovich

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

Comrade Marshall, with all due respect, I use the bayonet on my AK-47. Here is a recent photo of me entertaining the Politburo at Comrade Zinoviev's dacha. Does this not look like a close shave to you?


Aunt Nadzha, you need not be so formal with me, at least when not on Party business. Do you not recognize your great great nephew?

Any way, I was just pointing out that the "ease on the eyes" was much different when ones such as you were manning the barricades. People from those days knew what real struggle against imperialism was about. These days, alas, we have "comrades" such as this advocating for our cause...



I do not even wish to know whether she shaves under her arms or with what sort of chain saw she uses to accomplish such a task.

Comrade Marshall, I must insist that we speak in all formality in deference to our great proletarian mission. When you come to Zubalevo to visit our dacha you may drop the formality and perhaps I shall alllow you to sniff my working class panties.

Thank you for posting the lovely photo of Comrade Lyudmilla Alexandrovna Sinyavskaya. She is the poster girl for Code Pink. As you can easily see, the Comrade pays close attention to her feminine hygiene by shaving her legs and belly. She allows her belly to hang below her knees in order that all revolutionary-minded Comrades may see her loveliness.
 

Come on, isn't it the latest fashion, showing off a little bit of the belly above the belt? And if there isn't a belt, the appropriate replacement is below the fringe. It also works as a repellent against male harassment. This female comrade is lucky to be spared the humiliation of being treated as an object.
 

Comrade Cube! Good to see you this morning. I was about to mention to Comrade Nadezhda how I look forward to visiting her at her dacha since I have been on a "working vacation" since I have not received my new responsibilities as Marshal since my promotion from Commissar. I have been considering whom I may entrust the Dept of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health,
 

Marshal Pupovich

Comrade Cube! Good to see you this morning. I was about to mention to Comrade Nadezhda how I look forward to visiting her at her dacha since I have been on a "working vacation" since I have not received my new responsibilities as Marshal since my promotion from Commissar. I have been considering whom I may entrust the Dept of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health,

Comrade Marshall, you are welcome to visit my dacha at any time. Please call ahead first to make sure Comrade Josif Vissarionovitch is not present, and bring a bottle or two of champagne.

You may see me model my new outfit when you visit!



I have a recommendation for the Commisar of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health. Comrade Albert Albertovitch Goronov, a recent defector from a reactionary capitalist country.
 

Marshal Pupovich,please,for the love of Lenin....tell me that the photo of the Code Pink Princess was photoshopped!!! That cannot be her real belly heading for the floor!
I refuse to believe that.
 

How does she go to the bathroom? And I mean the whole process, from--well, maybe "soup to nuts" isn't the best expression to use in this case.
 

Hussies n' Thingies

Marshal Pupovich,please,for the love of Lenin....tell me that the photo of the Code Pink Princess was photoshopped!!! That cannot be her real belly heading for the floor!
I refuse to believe that.

I can assure you.... I did not touch that photo... in any way, shape, or form. No question why the Chairman has found company with toasters, a snapping turtle, or even that poor Governor's pooch we keep hearing about.
 

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

[I have a recommendation for the Commisar of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health. Comrade Albert Albertovitch Goronov, a recent defector from a reactionary capitalist country.

You are as fetching as ever, and being a Canine Comrade, I know fetching when I see it! But who is this Goronov and why would he be a good candidate to take over my duties?
 

Marshal Pupovich

Hussies n' Thingies

Marshal Pupovich,please,for the love of Lenin....tell me that the photo of the Code Pink Princess was photoshopped!!! That cannot be her real belly heading for the floor!
I refuse to believe that.

I can assure you.... I did not touch that photo... in any way, shape, or form. No question why the Chairman has found company with toasters, a snapping turtle, or even that poor Governor's pooch we keep hearing about.


HEY!!! I'm still writing the checks to the therapist for comrade Gov. Tim Kaine's (S-VA) border collie. That pooch was horrendously traumatized! She piddles whenever Sen. Jim "Frogface" Webb (S-VA) comes over (and I can understand why). And everytime she sees a picture of Martina Navratilova she jumps up and down with glee and tries to hump it.

--
ZB al-Hussain
 

You might wish to investigate who is actually receiving the cash you think you are paying to this therapist.... not that I am suggesting there may be some sort of diversion there or any thing.
 

Perhaps we can send Comrade Jackson to perform a Nutectomy on that poor woman from Code Pink...er, if it's covered under ObamaCare.
 

You think that could be one of Obama's nuts showing down there?
 

What do I know? I thought Chris Matthews was one of Obama's nuts. (rim shot)
 

I want to know what the big deal the VRWC thinks was news about Jackson using the "N" word....what is there obsession with nuts?
 

Marshal Pupovich

Hussies n' Thingies

Marshal Pupovich,please,for the love of Lenin....tell me that the photo of the Code Pink Princess was photoshopped!!! That cannot be her real belly heading for the floor!
I refuse to believe that.

I can assure you.... I did not touch that photo... in any way, shape, or form. No question why the Chairman has found company with toasters, a snapping turtle, or even that poor Governor's pooch we keep hearing about.


I honestly thought that this photo had been changed. I can't believe that her gut is about to hit the floor....so repulsively bizzare.
 

I can not speak for the original.... I merely googled code pink and that was one of the many that came up.
 

I typed "morbidly obese photos" into a search engine and sort of regretted doing that, as I saw stuff more horrifying than this lady; photos of people before they had surgery to remove excess, including one who was standing, and yet their lower body hung all the way to their feet. Very scary--but not scary enough to make me swear off chocolate.
 

On a slightly related topic, I was googling for more fun stuff I've always longed to know about Michelle Obama (I wanna know whether she uses stick, spray or roll-on). Imagine my disgust and dismay at stumbling onto the website of that other Michelle, the hatemongress, where I found this link:

For Some Ohioans, Even Meat is Out of Reach

According to the story, these poor people have even been forced to give up ice cream--not on the advice of their doctor, but because of the economy.


[url=javascriptvoid(0);][/url]
[url=javascriptvoid(0);]Enlarge[/url]


Katia Dunn/NPR
Angelica Hernandez (left) and her mother, Gloria Nunez, struggle to make ends meet on a very limited budget.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Katia Dunn/NPR
Angelica Hernandez (left) and her mother, Gloria Nunez, struggle to make ends meet on a very limited budget.

I can see why.

--
ZB al-Hussain
 

I can't wait till they also discover that....public transportation costs are going up as well.... wonder if then they will start thinking that maybe we need more oil.
 

Quote:

I can't wait till they also discover that....public transportation costs are going up as well.... wonder if then they will start thinking that maybe we need more oil.


As much as I hate to disagree with a Marshal of the Collective, WRONG! What we need, comrade Marshal, is even less fuel and higher prices for it. This will raise the cost of public transportation, as you rightly point out, but that is to be desired, not deplored. If the cost of public transport rises, we must raise taxes, not lower costs! Higher taxes means more control for the government, more regulation of the lives of the proles, and more apparatchiks to oversee that regulation. Isn't that what we are all about?
 

Egads and Gadzooks Comrade Brain! Did you not see my distinctly manly character off symbol? LOL! Had to call it manly considering what I just posted to another comrade a minute ago.
 

Ah. I thought it had been chosen as an exemplar of public transport.
 

I was not aware of the true significance of that till I read the wonderfulcounter revolutionary Atlas Shrugged....a book that should be required reading burned where ever found.
 

NadezhdaAlliluyeva

You may see me model my new outfit when you visit!




Praise Lenin!

Here dear comrades is a perfect example of the glories of The Collective!

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 

She looks like Catwoman from the old Batman T.V. show in the '60s.
 

Now why is it on this thread, I see all the male comrades drooling and tripping over their dangling tongues over the thing of beauty and joy forever that is Nadezhda, while on the People's Blog, there's nothing but hand-wringing and head-shaking and beard-pulling and tongue-clucking and general disapproval over a new and improved Pinkie?
 

Perhaps it is because Nadezhda Alliluyeva was shall we say, fetching, from the days of her youth. I have seen the pictures of her with my great great Uncle Iosef before the unfortunate accident. She did not become like that as a result of a slumber party and Lenin knows what other "image enhancers." But what ever gave you the notion you needed a makeover? Certainly it was not due to a lack of amorous comrades seeking your favor, Commissar Vodkov is evidence of that not to mention the many fine Comrades I have seen here complement you for your revolutionary beauty. For that matter, I seem to recall even the ever so prized Red Square himself mention this?
 

Quote:

...while on the People's Blog, there's nothing but hand-wringing and head-shaking and beard-pulling and tongue-clucking and general disapproval over a new and improved Pinkie?


Pinkie, I think if you'll read my post-makeover comment, you will find that I was highly equivocal, hopeful, yes, but ready to change my position depending on the prevailing winds of destiny.
 

Marshal Pupovich

Certainly it was not due to a lack of amorous comrades seeking your favor, Commissar Vodkov is evidence of that not to mention the many fine Comrades I have seen here complement you for your revolutionary beauty. For that matter, I seem to recall even the ever so prized Red Square himself mention this?

In the first place, I got a makeover specifically so I could get a better comrade than Vodkov.

And in the second place re Red Square, if you're talking about that video ("Mr. Gorbachev, tear down my bodice!") he only referred to me as "young Pinkie", implying that I was much younger when it was made, but now I'm now old and dried out and creaky and wrinkled up and just plain too scary for words. He'd have done better to omit the adjective altogether.





 

Oh Pinkie!!! Please!!!

You know you are the very model of what The Party™ wants to project as the modern Soviet American woman. With your scarlet head scarf, and broad, rosy, nose ... and ... last but not least ... your broad, muscular torso and arms!!! *drool*

--
ZB al-Hussain
 

And she wanted to throw that all away! But needless to say, like all the glitzy baubles the capitalists produce, that makeover will not last.
 

Comrade Pup,

I fear she is being seduced by the evil capitalist forces that have, and continue, to corrupt the collectivist values that The Party™ struggles to instill in every Soviet American. Before you know it, she will want caviar, champagne, and a brand new Cadillac Esclade with a set of dubs and a 10 speaker Bose sound system and entertainment system! Is not her Zaporozhet not enough???


 

Nor has anyone mentioned the obvious.... Did the Party instruct the Commissarka to report for a make over? Was that part of the Current Truth? An errant transmission from Laika?
 

Comrade Pup! I did not see an instruction from another member of the Inner Circle™ to Comrade Pinkie to report for a makeover. It there was, all of us who are members of the Inner Circle™ would have seen it.

--
 

Exact;y! This was nothing more than a complete failure of Party discipline on Commissarka Pinkie's part, She was clearly lured by the bright lights and "glamor" that Bush, Cheney, and Rove have sullied this country's moral and working spirit. This search for beauty will not produce even one more beet or contribution that the state needs. There are people out there with nothing to eat but fast food poison, families with no insurance despite having an income from the state, people with barely a flat screen TV or an I-Pod to their name, and Commissarka Pinkie is wasting resources and time to "look better than others."

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE!

and hope that she quickly gets her head and heart back into the struggle for Equal Outcomes for All. Get back on the ledge Commissarka! The Party still needs you!
 

Oh, Hell. I can feel another binge of purging coming on.
 

Not if I can help it Comrade Brain. I believe Pinkie is a Party stalwart that on occasion simply gets distracted from the fight on hand. It is merely my hope to nudge her closer to the ledge.
 

If you read this article, I think you'll see that it's Bush's fault I was forced to get a makeover. How else am I supposed to feel better about myself in these uncertain, oppressive times?

Besides, Michelle Obama got new clothes! And new fat faux pearls! And a new hairdo, so she can look just like Jackie! Don't you see? I had to get a makeover because that's what Michelle did, and everyone knows she's Just Like Us!
 

Makeover works both ways...


 

Obama got a jelly doughnut yesterday.