Khatami In Harvard: Mullahs and Liberals Not That Different!



While former Iranian President Mohammad Khatami's visit to the land of The Great Satan is welcomed by all progressive sleeper cells inside this country, his message of tolerance and moderation has become an object of vicious attacks from such hate groups as the Episcopal Church, the Jewish Community Relations Council, and Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney's office.

On the contrary, our schools are being purged of the malicious proponents of such hurtful Western notions as "reason," "objective reality," and "scientific integrity" - something the American academia has been successfully doing all along. That is why cultural dialogues are so important - they help clear up misunderstandings like these and realize that indeed, we are more alike than we are different.
The Kennedy School of Government issued a statement saying that despite Governor's order to state agencies to deny security for the Muslim cleric, Harvard's own police force will protect Khatami from any hooligan who might question the Mullah's role in the 1999 massacre of student protesters in Tehran.
"We can understand Romney's disagreement with Khatami in order to pander to his Islamophobic constituency," said Harvard's spokesperson Melody Feelgood. "We nonetheless believe that active and open dialogue with this country's self-created "enemies" is a critical part of an effective anti-American education of our students, especially on the eve of these very annoying jingoistic 9/11 ceremonies."

"Such cultural exchanges are bound to show just how much we have in common with the Iranian Mullahs," added a Harvard professor of Deconstructionist Philosophy. "Both their mullahs and our professors deny mind and reality as a source of knowledge, actively purge academia of heretics, work to impose our enlightened views on the ignorant populace, consider Israel an illegitimate entity, and want to see America ultimately defeated - and, if possible, destroyed. And, of course, we and they share a fervent, relentless, spiteful hatred for George W. Bush."

Mullah Khatami: If he's good enough for Chavez, he's good enough for Harvard!
The school campus is abuzz with preparations as many non-conformist student activists are putting together posters and placards saying We surrender! We're Sorry! Students For Civil Rights Welcome Khatami! We Switched Sides Long Time Ago! 444 Days Was Not Long Enough! Khatami for US President!
Both students and teachers will hold the placards as the Iranian Mullah delivers his speech titled "Ethics of Tolerance in the Age of Violence" at the school's John F. Kennedy Jr. Forum at 4 p.m. on Sunday.
"We haven't seen such display of diversity and tolerance since we invited Goebbels to speak on racial justice and the ethics of anti-Semitism," said Ms Feelgood as she wiped off a tear. "I wish Mullah Khatami could stay a little longer for the evening of reflections on the ethics of anal rape and non-violent approaches to child molestation, in which convicted child molesters will instruct students on the importance of respecting civil rights of child molesters."






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Chairman Meow-Say-Pun
I am envious of the Harvard students, the only thing we get to do at my school in the name of progress is sing happy birthday to Charles Darwin and present a cake to his portrait...There is nothing to ashamed of for sacrificing food to the god of evolution; he deserves all the cake and dead baby sacrifices he can get. After all, he earned them!




Chairman Meow-Say-Pun
I am envious of the Harvard students, the only thing we get to do at my school in the name of progress is sing happy birthday to Charles Darwin and present a cake to his portrait...My sympathies go out to you, Chairman. The university I attended is so progressive that a week before the failed electoral revolution in 2004, the school had our great mentor, Michael Moore, come give a righteous Republican and BusHitler bashing speech, urging the progressive students in the crowd to "pick their noses and pick Kerry." The university was so ahead of others in that they used tuition money and the taxpayers' money to pay Mr. Moore to re-educate the masses. However, a reactionary attorney filed a lawsuit, claiming that using taxmoney for a "campaign speech" violated federal law. The university struck back, citing that it was expressing diversity. And it did express diversity! Prior to Comrade Moore's speech, the campus was overstocked with spoiled white kids preaching about social justice. But Mr. Moore's presence brought diversity in the form of an overweight millionaire that understands the plight of the little guy.