Khatami In Harvard: Mullahs and Liberals Not That Different!

While former Iranian President Mohammad Khatami's visit to the land of The Great Satan is welcomed by all progressive sleeper cells inside this country, his message of tolerance and moderation has become an object of vicious attacks from such hate groups as the Episcopal Church, the Jewish Community Relations Council, and Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney's office.

The controversy is largely fueled by Mullah Khatami's planned visits to Harvard, Georgetown University, Columbia University, and the University of Virginia for a round of introspective talks and consultations aimed at helping the progressive academic community better to understand their role in the Global War on U.S. Imperialism. The former Iranian leader is also expected to share his rich experience in purging academia and creating a perfectly uniform intellectual climate of diversity for the Greater Good™.

The Kennedy School of Government issued a statement saying that despite Governor's order to state agencies to deny security for the Muslim cleric, Harvard's own police force will protect Khatami from any hooligan who might question the Mullah's role in the 1999 massacre of student protesters in Tehran.

"We can understand Romney's disagreement with Khatami in order to pander to his Islamophobic constituency," said Harvard's spokesperson Melody Feelgood. "We nonetheless believe that active and open dialogue with this country's self-created "enemies" is a critical part of an effective anti-American education of our students, especially on the eve of these very annoying jingoistic 9/11 ceremonies."



"Such cultural exchanges are bound to show just how much we have in common with the Iranian Mullahs," added a Harvard professor of Deconstructionist Philosophy. "Both their mullahs and our professors deny mind and reality as a source of knowledge, actively purge academia of heretics, work to impose our enlightened views on the ignorant populace, consider Israel an illegitimate entity, and want to see America ultimately defeated - and, if possible, destroyed. And, of course, we and they share a fervent, relentless, spiteful hatred for George W. Bush."

"I hope that the incredibly talented students at Harvard will grill Khatami on the many issues which prevent America from being a responsible member of the world community," said Joseph Bombgluck who teaches Comparative Histrionics. "Khatami should be expecting to answer some hard-ball questions about the legitimacy of falsified elections in Florida and Ohio, the Republican genocide of African Americans in New Orleans, the corporate glass ceiling that denies women access to the boardrooms, the absence of free healthcare, and the primitive American mindset that views President Bush as some sort of 'supreme leader.'"

The school campus is abuzz with preparations as many non-conformist student activists are putting together posters and placards saying We surrender! We're Sorry! Students For Civil Rights Welcome Khatami! We Switched Sides Long Time Ago! 444 Days Was Not Long Enough! Khatami for US President!

Both students and teachers will hold the placards as the Iranian Mullah delivers his speech titled "Ethics of Tolerance in the Age of Violence" at the school's John F. Kennedy Jr. Forum at 4 p.m. on Sunday.

"We haven't seen such display of diversity and tolerance since we invited Goebbels to speak on racial justice and the ethics of anti-Semitism," said Ms Feelgood as she wiped off a tear. "I wish Mullah Khatami could stay a little longer for the evening of reflections on the ethics of anal rape and non-violent approaches to child molestation, in which convicted child molesters will instruct students on the importance of respecting civil rights of child molesters."
 

This should prove the lie that multiculturalism is nothing but an intellectual vacuum. Multiculturalism is a wonderful collaboration of cultures. In any collaboration of cultures it is always the more evil and irriational one that finally gives in and sees the light.
 

Why won't they visit the progressive high schools of Amerika? I'm sure many of my progressive teachers will warmly accept a radical Muslim as a guset speaker.
 

Within a couple of hours of this posting the story was already linked on Cox & Forkum's related story and cartoon. Thanks, Cox & Forkum! You're the best! Um, I mean, the worst class enemies the Party ever had!

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/000930.html


 

I am envious of the Harvard students, the only thing we get to do at my school in the name of progress is sing happy birthday to Charles Darwin and present a cake to his portrait...
 

Chairman Meow-Say-Pun

I am envious of the Harvard students, the only thing we get to do at my school in the name of progress is sing happy birthday to Charles Darwin and present a cake to his portrait...

There is nothing to ashamed of for sacrificing food to the god of evolution; he deserves all the cake and dead baby sacrifices he can get. After all, he earned them!
 

The next logical step is an Islamic state in the current state of Massachusetts. The ground has been prepared and no revolution is necessary. It is only a question of definition rather than real changes. New Orleans would be next where Mullah Nagin is doing a great job purging bourgeoisie dissenters to his bold and great chocolate/Islamic vision. We should hail those courageous people who dedicate their lives to changing our decadent western society for the better!
 

Zis iz vhat mie free-nd froome Amer-eeka he sayz he vent tewe pooblik skool, he cent in ledder made froome hied.(The only way to create great discord for the elite left is to have them believe that extreme left leader ship for this country will be a great thing for leadership to adhere to. It will show the Islamic countries that we will bend to pressure ...To being Kinder and more tolerent towards Islam (see north korean propaganda films of Woody Hays era cowboy movies) that we can have tolerance and be coddled (much like Palestine does with Israel)The sooner we show kindness and tolerence the sooner we can be accepted into the peace loving Islamic society.What is really happening is the Islamic sect is setting up the left by having them believe they have a viable chance to be accepted into Islamic rational thinking ...Hillary Clinton being accepted by Islam as a respectful leader and President ...As Woody would have said Darn tooten!!!I sink dis gie ees ohhkey Doohhkey He Mahe bee a leetle off eef ewe no vat I mene... Beety Soory for Hees de-fa-may-shun of greaht Ameer-i-Kan Cohw-Boy!!
 

Chairman Meow-Say-Pun

I am envious of the Harvard students, the only thing we get to do at my school in the name of progress is sing happy birthday to Charles Darwin and present a cake to his portrait...

My sympathies go out to you, Chairman. The university I attended is so progressive that a week before the failed electoral revolution in 2004, the school had our great mentor, Michael Moore, come give a righteous Republican and BusHitler bashing speech, urging the progressive students in the crowd to "pick their noses and pick Kerry." The university was so ahead of others in that they used tuition money and the taxpayers' money to pay Mr. Moore to re-educate the masses.  However, a reactionary attorney filed a lawsuit, claiming that using taxmoney for a "campaign speech" violated federal law. The university struck back, citing that it was expressing diversity. And it did express diversity! Prior to Comrade Moore's speech, the campus was overstocked with spoiled white kids preaching about social justice. But Mr. Moore's presence brought diversity in the form of an overweight millionaire that understands the plight of the little guy.