Earth Day: Bush Shovels Earth In Punishment

The picture above, taken off the government website EarthDay.gov, documents the punishment that a coalition of progressive activists imposed on the neo-imperialistic criminal George Bush as part of International Earth Day celebration April 22nd.

Earth Day:
(Semantically saving the earth from Global Warming) a day of action to save the earth from farmers, ranchers, mining, timber, oil, chemical companies, and anyone else who seeks to utilize the earth's resources to enhance, enrich, and extend the lives of Americans and others worldwide. Characterized by the media's massive awareness drive to (a) remind the world that American capitalists are raping the earth and stealing its riches, thus causing all of the planet's environmental problems; (b) advocate a greater government control of land, resources, and industries; and (c) increase the constantly growing white male guilt levels. A great way to politicize spring cleaning and give an ideological rationalization for the rebirth of nature.
(From The People's Glossary)

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The original Earth Day was celebrated in San Francisco on March 21, 1970 on the initiative of John McConnell who on his site explains that March 21 is the date to celebrate Easter, Equinox, and Earth at the same time. Why was then official Earth Day moved to April 22, who moved it and when? The official Earth Day Network does not mention the switch. But then it doesn't mention Orwell's 1984 either.

The Earth Day idea was picked up by all progressive organizations, as it was a great way to politicize the rebirth of nature and provide ideological underpinning for spring cleaning activities. In fact it was so progressive that it could no longer be associated with Easter. Earth Day had to be moved further away from religion and closer to communism.

Apart from raising our awareness about capitalism as the source of the world's troubles, Earth Day is a celebration of uncompensated collective work for the Greater Good. Thus both Earth Day and Subbotnik coincided on so many levels that it was only logical to combine them into one holiday. The Left had already taken over the environmental movement in the past, now they took over Earth Day and turned it into a communist holiday. That was not so hard to do, considering that international progressive movements own the American mass media and educational establishments.

April 22 is known in Russia as Lenin's birthday and is traditionally celebrated by uncompensated shoveling of earth. The event is called the Communist Subbotnik, or the Sacrificial Earth Shoveling Day. On a Saturday around that day all workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia are supposed to donate to the Worker's State a day of free labor - either at workplace or on communal property - cleaning streets, digging earth in public parks and lawns, etc. It is a good educational experience for the proletarians, reinforcing in them true communist values - sacrifice through hard uncompensated labor, humility, and respect for authority of the Party's founder. It also provides a metaphysical experience wherein the proletarians can reach the state of spiritual enlightenment as motes of a vast collective. Vodka also helps.

Thus we, the progressive forces, have made the whole world, including George Bush, unwittingly celebrate Lenin's birthday, and participate in the Subbotnik. This is similar to what we did with Klara Zetkin's International Women's Day on March 8. In related news, the Progressive Caucus is developing legislation to move Thanksgiving to November 7, the day of Bolshevik Revolution that brought Communism to Russia .

Why don't we celebrate "The Earth Day" on April 20? It would be better.

April 20 is Hitler's birthday. Hitler is an important ideological weapon helping us win just about any argument with right-wingers. As such he must be viewed as pure evil at all times. This, of course, creates a philosophical paradox: everybody knows that morality is relative and there is no such thing as absolute good or absolute evil. The answer is that Hitler is a necessary exception. If he didn't exist he'd have to be invented. What makes him so evil? It doesn't matter. He's evil, period. You needn't know unless you are an advanced student of the Progressive theory. If you are, then you must know that Hitler is evil because he wanted to create socialism for the White man only - National Socialism. We the Progressives want quite the opposite. Hitler also promoted the concept of uncompensated labor for the Greater Good (labor camps) but his Greater Good was different from our Greater Good (see above). That's where it gets tricky and any further discussions should only be allowed to Party-approved professors of Progressive science.

And remember - every rule has exceptions including this rule and exceptions from it!

As far as the holidays go, we can, perhaps, combine Hitler's birthday with such politically incorrect holidays as Columbus Day, or such reactionary holidays favored by right-wing Christian fundamentalists as Christmas. In fact, we are going to write an instructive letter to the Progressive Caucus asking them to legislate just that.

Red Square
Propaganda Department

I invented most things except Earth Day which was invented by Lenin. So I used my other invention to go back in time and bring back Lenin in time for Earth Day.

Al Gore

Poor Che. He couldn't live to see this day ... but, there is a Work Brigade in his honored name!:

http://www.canadiannetworkoncuba.ca/brigade/

Thank goodness for the Canadians of the world! We should have a day for them, too! They understand Socialism so well ...

Here's a picture of beloved Che:


As stupid in death as he was in life. Oops, did I just say that?

As the tree that falls in the forest for noone to hear....

RosaEsq.

This year on Earth Day, as usual, I led the students of my graduate seminar outside to hold class in the shade of an evergreen grove. Unfortunately, it took us a while to find a suitable patch of shade, as many other progressive professors had decided to follow the precedent that I set years ago. Shameless dilettantes!

Nevertheless, we sat on the grass in a circle. But instead of discussing relevant course material, we read excerpts from the beloved Kyoto Treaty. What a glorious and essential document! Afterwards, I asked the students to take a moment to reflect on their relationship with nature and then draw a picture illustrating it. To my dismay, a few students demurred, saying that they could not draw very well.

I felt like a real, insensitive jerk for a moment. Then, I had a brilliant idea, which is not an infrequent occurrence, dare I say. I found the two best artists in the class and insisted that they do everyone's drawings for them. Oh, the beauty of "from each...to each"! It was a happy Earth Day, indeed.

Sorry I'm kinda late, Happy Birthday Lenin!

Every year on Earth Day my proletarian brethren and I drive to LA in a convoy of escalades throwing seeds out the window in styrofoam containers (to protect them of course) along the highways on the way. Yes, we live in the Peoples Commonwealth of Virginia and the gas is outrageously exspensive to get to LA but we manage to make it on the leftover Central Committee graff which has allowed us to make the trip. Once in LA we rendevous with protestors and then huddle in a few of those Hummer Limosines to shout the passerbys who drive SUV's instead of the much more Earth friendly Hybrids. After re-educating the public, we make our way down the avenues signing praises of the upcoming Demokratic November Revolution and the great contributions Lenin made to the Amerikan peoples. I just don't know why more people could'nt be as Earth freindly as we are.... It makes me sick all those people who dont care for our beloved Earth, ITS THE ONLY ONE WE GOT!!!

LOLOLOLOL

But Lenin's ashes could have fed the trees?

Must be my guilt level...

This Earth Day Celebrate Vladimir Lenin's Birthday!

Capitalism Magazine wrote:Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet Premier after Joseph Stalin, decided in 1955 that the country should celebrate their national political philosophy, communism. He chose as the day, April 22, Vladimir Lenin's birthday, a tribute to the founder of the Soviet Union. When environmentalists decided that the Earth deserved a day of celebration in 1970, they could have picked any day of the year, as no one knows the exact day date of the Earth's birthday. They chose Lenin's birthday, just as Khrushchev had done. Was this just a coincidence? I think not.

No, comrades! It was NOT just a coincidence! It was the COMMON DENOMINATOR!

Thank you so much for the newsletter properly reminding me of this glorious earth day and all the wonderful things the people need to keep in mind. Also thank you for not sending these letters more often, for they lead me to this site and I spend way too much time enjoying this.

Damn... it's already April 23 and I missed my coerced Earth Day comment by two hours.... sh*t... I could be shot for this!

Errhmmm.

This year for Earth Day (or the day after Earth day) I will be making a special trip around the world in a gas guzzling 747 jumbo-jets to proclaim the beginning of the end! Yes, in time the world will become a smoltering hot volcano if we do not get Algore (PBUH) on the ticket with Her Most Exalted Excellency, Hillary Rodham Clinton. I will be accompanied by no one (I refuse to car-pool with others) and shall be shuttled around in a tank/limousine (spray painted green to show my solidarity) through the beautiful streets of Paris (no, Theocritus, you are not coming with me... I have no time to drop you off at a local Bath House... too much money is at stake this year and too many under fed models need my progressive help... among other things.). In Paris I will be making a brief 50 word speech on why Socialism works and why that hag Royal should be elected and blah blah blah. I will then venture to the local whore house to plant trees, pay for a sensual massage with OPM and conclude with a visit to Dr. P's vineyards (where I will receive another sensual massage from whatever bulimic French model he has running around in her paper mache g-string.)

Yes comrades... I do this for the Common Good and on behalf of saving Mother Earth/Gaia/ Church of Climatology/ OPM/ Lenin and whatever else excuses my Demokrat decadence.

gimme your $$$ and piss off ,

M. S. Punchenko

I too did my part for Earth Day yesterday! I had a cook out. I lit up the old Kingsford charcoal briquettes and barbecued many a hamburger, hot dog, and sirloin steak. Everyone from the Country Club ... er ... "kommune" was there. Mmmm... Mmmm... But I did do my part for the environment. Before lighting my grill, I attached the new "Algore-nator 5000 Ultra Violet Air Purification System" to the hood of the grill!!!


Yes, It removes all carbon emissions from the from the gases produced by the charcoal. Nevermind the fact that I had to have the local coal burning power plant install a 5,000 Mega-Watt circuit at my estate ... er ... "dacha" in order to power it. Yes! I do my part to protect the environment as all good socialists should! Because .... I Care(tm).

And NO Comrade Theocritus, you cannot use it to "treat" that rash you developed after you returned from Thailand. Chairman Meow makes sure Lupe uses it properly to blow dry Comrade Pelosivich's armpit hair when I am not using it for my barbecues.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Damn... it's already April 23 and I missed my coerced Earth Day comment by two hours.... sh*t... I could be shot for this!

No worries, Punch Diddy, for isn't every day "Earth Day™"?

You're part of the nomenklatura now, so no need to worry about such petty things as "deadlines" - we have an army of virtuous and heroic proletarian workers who are responsible for meeting them, while we work on behalf of their Greatergood™ (Gg™), of course. We do it out of a sense of noblesse oblige, but it's a burden we willing bear. And nothing leads to the Gg™ like a personal sojourn in France for a member of the Party's Inner Circle™ (PIC™).

BTW, Vivienne Lyotard, a true gift of Bacchus' vine, will see that you are properly accomodated when you reach Chateau Babeauf this evening.

Enjoy, mon ami! Here's to letting our offshore accounts get "greener" by the day!

A votre sante,

Dr. P

<whispers to Dr. P> I know Doc, I have to say that there is a possibilty of me being shot while in the presence of the proles so that they will think we are actually <snicker> accountable! <busts of laughing>.

Errrhhhmmm.... that's right Dr. P <wink> I might be shot for forgetting about one the holiest days in our revolutionary calendar. My goodness, Lenin forbid if I were to forget May Day! LENIN FORBID! I just hope no one else makes such a grave error. <looks right at Lupe>

A Goremon's Table Blessing:

Praise Gore from whom all knowledge flows
Praise Global Warming for we know
There's power to grab with tons of dough
Praise Marx, Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost

A-genderneutral

Rev. L. Space Dogged

Speaking of the Goremons. Did you all hear about the heroic apostles of Goremonism, Sheyl "1 ply" Crow, and Laurie "Gulf Stream V" David, confronting Global Warming denier Karl Rove? Surely with such committed Crusaders.. errr. Inquisitors...uhhhmm.. Zealots... darn I just can't come up with a phrase.. ah.. Trumpeters as these, the Church of Latter Day Climatology will one day reign unchallenged. Laurie David even unwittingly reveals her faith in the Goremon Stone by sighting part of the 8 commandments of Goremonism:

If this rock is wet... It's Global Warming
If this rock is swaying... It's Global Warming
If this rock is hot... It's Global Warming
If this rock is cool... It's Global Warming
If this rock is white... It's Global Warming
If this rock is blue... It's Global Warming
If this rock is gone... It's Global Warming
If this rock is glowing... Gaia is about to smite thee

Remember, the Goreacle is watching you this Earth Day.

Rik

You're part of the nomenklatura now, so no need to worry about such petty things as "deadlines" - we have an army of virtuous and heroic proletarian workers who are responsible for meeting them

As it was once written, "All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than others!". Just ask Comrade Bill Clinton!

Besides, no one cares(tm) more for the proles than us!

I have to head for Neiman-Marcus to purchase new china and dinner ware. Marty Stewart is coming over to speak about her experiences in a Wimmin's Prison. Her Excellency, HRC, should come and listen to what close camaraderie can be found when immersed in an all-femayl environment.

BTW: Meow? Is Lupe through using my Algore-nator 5000? I'm planning another barbecue for the weekend. Some of the major oil company CEOs are coming over to the county club ... er... "kommune" to discusss ripping off ... er ... I mean ... assisting the proles!


Algore Akhbar!

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Laika wrote: A Goremon's Table Blessing:

Praise Gore from whom all knowledge flows
Praise Global Warming for we know
There's power to grab with tons of dough
Praise Marx, Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost

A-genderneutral

Rev. L. Space Dogged

Laika, I neglected to tell how how fitting your doxology is, and it arrived on my birthday. And how lucky I am to share a birthday with that heroing of the Bug Eyed Queens, Babs Streisand. Once it got out that I shared Ste. Barbara's birthday, the BEQs™ Theocritus Ltd., laid Teddy Bears outside the front door of my dacha, in the ivory that Babs wears only since Donna Karan told her that ivory was her color. It reflects her nose less than other colors. Once, in the 70s, Babs wore a sequined jacket and the flood lights caused a reflection of her nose off the sequins jiggling in resonant frequency to her vibrato and it hit the exact frequency to cause seizures. There are still about 100 dancing queens (™ ABBA) in a perpetual fugue on a stage in New York.

You'll note that this is the one place in New York, or indeed the world, that is utterly secure from terrorist attack.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Laika wrote: A Goremon's Table Blessing:

Praise Gore from whom all knowledge flows
Praise Global Warming for we know
There's power to grab with tons of dough
Praise Marx, Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost

Commissar, could you please help your poor Comrade by filling him in on the Party Plans for the possible hurricanes? Just 2 years ago your very own Comrade Pupovich had to endure both Hurricane Comrade Katrina and Comrade Rita within but a few weeks of each other. As it happens, Katrina was to my right, Rita to my left, so I got a bit of both of these hurricanes the evil Bush created. Now we have another possible killer in the Gulf! That Bush just can't be stopped it seems! I fear we may not have enough proles here to serve my needs should the state get hit again, and of course Chocolate Nagin will be too busy rounding up school busses. Do you have any suggestions?

Start stealing now. Why wait to get your Cadillac the way the Nawlins cops did? And blame Bush, of course, if you get caught.

Steal everything that you can, all the time, and blame Bush. Sock the money away and blame Bush. If it's cloudy, blame Bush.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Start stealing now. Why wait to get your Cadillac the way the Nawlins cops did? And blame Bush, of course, if you get caught.

Steal everything that you can, all the time, and blame Bush. Sock the money away and blame Bush. If it's cloudy, blame Bush.

That is wise advice of course, but I have already began making those preparations and of course that is Bush's fault. What I was wondering frankly, is whether I could reduce my quota of denunciations for the remaining of the Bush Hurricane season so that I can make use of the extra proles? I can put them to good use hauling my meager goods in my Dacha after the Bush storm, and of course I can make use of the pilfered ammunition and shovels after the storm is through.

Yes, of course. I have found a great labor-saving device, though: I have started training choirs of people to chant, "It's Bush's fault." The problem though is that the ones that are particularly tireless are snapped up by CBS News and <i>The New York Times</i>. Damned poaches of good denunciators.

Thank you Commissar Theocritus, you are most generous. I will of course keep my list of people to denounce up to date during the Bush Hurricane Season so I can still meet and surpass my quota quickly. You too are at risk during the Bush Hurricane Season Da? I hope your Dacha and office are not in direct risk of this Bush Dean hurricane.

No, Commissar Pupovich, my vacation Dacha is on South Padre Island, but my true home, where the proles groan under my heel, is Pecos. But do not worry about my house--it can withstand a Force Five hurricane. I learned my lesson when Rosie and Our Many Titted Empress both came down and Bruno had forgotten to put in the three-phase for the Hildo Hydra 7.1. The rage, the rage. First National Bank of Harlingen shifted enough on its foundation that it cracked a water main. So my dacha is well secured for a storm. But I do thank you for your concern. A thousand proles were worked to death to do it, but no matter, because it was For The People, which you are far enough advanced into the Party to know that it means, For Me.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No, Commissar Pupovich, my vacation Dacha is on South Padre Island, but my true home, where the proles groan under my heel, is Pecos. But do not worry about my house--it can withstand a Force Five hurricane. I learned my lesson when Rosie and Our Many Titted Empress both came down and Bruno had forgotten to put in the three-phase for the Hildo Hydra 7.1. The rage, the rage. First National Bank of Harlingen shifted enough on its foundation that it cracked a water main. So my dacha is well secured for a storm. But I do thank you for your concern. A thousand proles were worked to death to do it, but no matter, because it was For The People, which you are far enough advanced into the Party to know that it means, For Me.

I am most relieved to know that you are not at risk in any way. It is good to have many proles between you and a hurricane as they act as a wind and water barrier to the Bush Hurricanes. Of course when the glorious day arrives, which is not far off, when the Party takes power, there will be no more hurricanes.

However, we may find it useful to continue producing hurricanes for they do have the desired effect of "thinning out" the less useful proles. How well I remember sitting out on the front porch of my dacha during both Bush Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and contemplating the sheer utilitarian possibilities of man made hurricanes. Now this did not come without a price as yours truly had to live without electricity for several weeks. Of course this was before I had seen the light of the Party's wisdom. You would not believe the way these "storms" cleared out useless trees in my area, antiquated power lines, and later raised the price of living accommodations to further clear out the lesser proles.

Oh, and remind the Pup to tell you his Bush Hurricane Katrina IRS story one day! But I know you must be busy right now overseeing some Party Work or engaged in some well deserved recreation.

Yes, Commissar Pupovich. I spend today visiting sick people at the Reeves County Hospital, got the pharmacist drunk, and walked off with all the drugs.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, Commissar Pupovich. I spend today visiting sick people at the Reeves County Hospital, got the pharmacist drunk, and walked off with all the drugs.

I do hope you remembered to send the pharmacist a bill for the alcohol you lavished upon him?

Yes, I did. I did not find it necessary to tell him that I'd broken into his house and stolen it. How else would I know what brand he likes?

He is fortunate you didn't denounce him for hording!

You think I didn't? And I sold his wife into white slavery too, and blamed the Republicans for it.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:You think I didn't? And I sold his wife into white slavery too, and blamed the Republicans for it.

The Pup is sorry Commissar for even allowing a smidgen of doubt to enter the Pup's thoughts, he really should know better by now. The Pup is just too distracted planning his fact finding mission for eco prostitution.

Commissar, all is forgiven. When you go on your fact-finding mission for eco-prostitution, be sure to take Michael Moore with you. You can sell him by the pound to pygmy head-hunters for tons of the poison that they use on their darts. It's very nice for getting into bank vaults, you know.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Commissar, all is forgiven. When you go on your fact-finding mission for eco-prostitution, be sure to take Michael Moore with you. You can sell him by the pound to pygmy head-hunters for tons of the poison that they use on their darts. It's very nice for getting into bank vaults, you know.

I have tried to take Moore with me in the past, but alas, will do so no more. It was all I could do to find a rickshaw that he could fit in, and then he waddles so slowly getting me there I missed my appointment and had to settle for er.. an "interview" with a "consultant" that looked remarkably like the description I have read here of the Many Titted Empress.

Was this before or after Our Many Titted Empress had her tusks surgically removed? It took three surgeons two days and they had to operate in shifts. And the plastic surgery to remake her lips--there's a reason for that snarl.

Ah, but I do love that woman. Last year we were wandering around DC, all drunk on virgin's blood, well H8 takes hers straight but I have a Bloody Mary with Mumbai Non-Conflict Sapphire gin, and we found ourselves outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. With an agility I've only seen in Oympic pole-vaulters, our MTE jumped over the fence and tried to get back inside.

What a ruckus she set up, there under the search lights, her hooves making divots in the yard, her tusks flashing in the Klieg lights, sod flying everywhere, all just trying to get into the Oval Office to see to its redecoration by DuPont--the best latex you know.

It took every single drug at GWU hospital to sedate her. What a memory. The DC Chief of Police took a leave of absence and is reportedly doing very well making baskets.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Was this before or after Our Many Titted Empress had her tusks surgically removed? It took three surgeons two days and they had to operate in shifts. And the plastic surgery to remake her lips--there's a reason for that snarl...... With an agility I've only seen in Oympic pole-vaulters, our MTE jumped over the fence and tried to get back inside.

Great Stalin's Ghost! It may have indeed been the MTE post detusking surgery. All I can say is the creature... er.... lady, had some lips that protruded so far they reminded me of an S&S carburetor on a 47 Knucklehead, though not as classy and appeared to be holding on by only one bolt as it was way off kilter. She was wearing some silicon based purple and gold vacuum grease that I presumed at the time was her idea of makeup, though it was so thick, and oozed some sort of secretion that it could have easily been a post surgery site.

But what really makes me wonder is your description of her "athletic" ability. For as it happens, I discovered as I was trying to leave, that I had mistakenly left my Party discount card in my Zil (it was sometime back before I had moved up in the party, and it did make a good undercover vehicle). As I was trying to go get this card, this creature seemed to get the wrong impression and actually thought yours truly was trying to "stiff them" for the second, or was it a third or even fourth time? My memory is a bit hazy. I heard this blood curdling howl from the very depths of the Gulag as I was shutting the ornamental iron gate. I turned just in time to see this creature seem to fly over the gate. Were it not for her... how does one describe such a thing.... her monkee like tail got tangled with the iron spikes on the gate. Needless to say, I proceeded to my car and left as quickly as possible. Could it have been her/it?

Yes, she can quite bestir herself when there is a dollar around. I found, from experience, that you could prowl the halls of the White House, that is before Laura scrubbed the pentagram from the floor of the Lincoln Bedroom, and as long as you didn't have a single penny in your pocket you were utterly invisible to our MTE.

Gather closer, Pup, this is entre nous. If, and I say if, our MTE grows too big for her britches, oh I don't mean bit in a normal sense, that's already happened, but really intolerable, you know, H8 intolerable, then I have a plan to off her. You cannot have a single thing of value on you, and that includes gold fillings, for she can smell that in a coma. But I think that we can strangle her as long as we don't use anything worth anything at all. I thought of using the guts of a DKos blogger, but then they're made of absolute water and not worth a damn. So I am at a loss. Suggestions?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, she can quite bestir herself when there is a dollar around. I found, from experience, that you could prowl the halls of the White House, that is before Laura scrubbed the pentagram from the floor of the Lincoln Bedroom, and as long as you didn't have a single penny in your pocket you were utterly invisible to our MTE.

Gather closer, Pup, this is entre nous. If, and I say if, our MTE grows too big for her britches, oh I don't mean bit in a normal sense, that's already happened, but really intolerable, you know, H8 intolerable, then I have a plan to off her. You cannot have a single thing of value on you, and that includes gold fillings, for she can smell that in a coma. But I think that we can strangle her as long as we don't use anything worth anything at all. I thought of using the guts of a DKos blogger, but then they're made of absolute water and not worth a damn. So I am at a loss. Suggestions?

Well, Lenin Forbid should such a thing happen, we will have that going for us, we can be stealthy provided we ensure we have nothing of worth on our person. Of course that may mean we might have to do this sans clothing. But once she achieves the sort of mass we are talking about, ordinary methods of strangling would not be practical as she would be too large for any number of men to wrap around her throat, and at that level I am afraid the very folds of fat might act as a safety barrier. That being the case, one of my first thoughts would be to use either a noxious gas as that produced by any number of our useful idiots, Moore, Shitcan et al. Of course another possible scenario would not be by introducing a noxious gas, which in theory could be of value as an alternative fuel, rather to deny her oxygen. That being said I think it may be possible to achieve that using Biden or Murtha for instance. When such vacuous people such as they walk in, all oxygen is sucked from the room.

I like the idea of noxious gasses from Murtha et al ad nauseam. But in the night I had an idea. Why not manufacture some very long knives, weighted in the center, with a blade on each end, and very very sharp? When we throw them at our MTE, they will orbit her ass, turning around her center of gravity and will cut her ass to ribbons.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I like the idea of noxious gasses from Murtha et al ad nauseam. But in the night I had an idea. Why not manufacture some very long knives, weighted in the center, with a blade on each end, and very very sharp? When we throw them at our MTE, they will orbit her ass, turning around her center of gravity and will cut her ass to ribbons.

That would be the compassionate thing to do. For this would give the MTE a reason to try and decrease her mass, and should her mass increase, then the knives would eventually be drawn to her gravity well and cause her destruction. However, I do see 2 possible drawbacks.

1. Knives are of monetary value so she would be able to detect them from afar.

2. Should her mass continue to expand, and the knives were to collapse toward the center and destroy her, one of three things could happen, one of which would be extremely dangerous, another potentially dangerous.

a. If her mass is too dense, MTE would collapse into a true black hole sucking all matter within a certain distance into it. Naturally, this could be very bad should one find themselves too close at the time of collapse.

b. Depending on the mass, she could just shrink to a neutron star or a "white dwarf" though in her case it would more likely be another color all together. But this would probably be the best case scenario as at least it would likely give off radiation to serve as a warning, and while still a massive source of gravity, less than that of a black hole.

c. Yet another terrible possibility and this could coincide with the above, her mass could collapse to a point where the pressures could cause a supernova spewing her "awesomeness" all over the place. It could get really ugly.

We may be too late. A black hole eats <i>everything</i>. And everything going into the Event Horizon is spaghettified. But a supermassive black hole has such a large event horizon that things can wander about for a very long time without being spaghettified.

We may be there now. Can you see stars? No? I can't either...

It is the end...falls on knees...Holy Algore, forgive this man of my trespasses even though I never forgive anyone who trespasses against me. Don't do to me what I do to people who look at me funny...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:We may be too late. A black hole eats <i>everything</i>. And everything going into the Event Horizon is spaghettified. But a supermassive black hole has such a large event horizon that things can wander about for a very long time without being spaghettified.

We may be there now. Can you see stars? No? I can't either...

It is the end...falls on knees...Holy Algore, forgive this man of my trespasses even though I never forgive anyone who trespasses against me. Don't do to me what I do to people who look at me funny...

On Stalin's Ghost, I fear you may be right! I also feel a bit stretched right now. Is there no hope? No mercy? What a horrible fate!

Commissar Pupovich wrote: On Stalin's Ghost, I fear you may be right! I also feel a bit stretched right now. Is there no hope? No mercy? What a horrible fate!

Stretched? Oh dear, Comrade Pup... I did not know that you had been checked into our sister facility, The Jane Fonda Center for the Treatment of Anti-Socialist Behavior.

Far be it from me to waste precious State resources when there are so many in more need. Now of course, as Commissar of eco Prostitution and Mental Health, it is incumbent on me to review this facility from time to time. I am sorry to report that I saw a terrible waste of perfectly good beets and even potatoes being served to the residents there, who were clearly vegetative to begin with. I was however impressed by the Multi Titted Empress Group Therapy Wing, though I did have to wonder what part the electric milking machines had to do with therapeutic practice,

The purpose for the electric milking machines is to ensure our Many Tittied Empress' nipples remain soft and supple! It is a mighty job to nurse the proletariat of the world. So it is very important that her nips are in tip-top shape!

--
Blokhayev

Comrades, I suggest that we nationalize Bristol Meyers to ensure an adequate supply of Many Titted Empress Nipple Balm. As Zampolit says, the World As We Know It will end, most surely end, if there is a crack in one of Our Many Titted Empress's many nipples.

Oh, the humanity!

But wouldn't a milking machine powered by some kulak guests of the Gulag be more appropriate than an electric one? Oh, I guess it is just me, longing for the good old days.

Yes, Commissar Pupovich, it would be more appropriate. But bear in mind that service to Our Many Titted Empress takes a discipline that one cannot automatically imply to proles. After all there is a reason that we sit on top. Our cast-iron stomachs.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, Commissar Pupovich, it would be more appropriate. But bear in mind that service to Our Many Titted Empress takes a discipline that one cannot automatically imply to proles. After all there is a reason that we sit on top. Our cast-iron stomachs.

What was I thinking? Of course a prole powered milking machine is more appropriate for a lesser... lesser... er... what can one call a "lesser"version of the MTE? But only the finest of progressive technology will do for the Empress, as it should be.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrades, I suggest that we nationalize Bristol Meyers to ensure an adequate supply of Many Titted Empress Nipple Balm. As Zampolit says, the World As We Know It will end, most surely end, if there is a crack in one of Our Many Titted Empress's many nipples.

Oh, the humanity!

Indeed!!! Those of us who have been around here for several months or longer, remember what she did the last time one of her nipples developed a crack!!! For me, it brought to mind scenes from The Exorcist"

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Blokhayev

Zampolit, I shudder at visualizing your statement. Does that mean that her tit turned round and round with a creaking sound or that it threw up green ichor?

Green ichor, I hope--when we gain control over the Means of Production of the proles' food supply, we will need something much like Soylent Green but cheaper to produce and our MTE seems to have an inexhaustible supply.

Commissar Theocritus, have you forgotten? Once we have gained control, we will no longer have a need for inefficient and costly elections, and so we will no longer need the "dead vote." That is a renewable resource for prole food. We cannot ask the MTE to stoop to such menial needs.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Zampolit, I shudder at visualizing your statement. Does that mean that her tit turned round and round with a creaking sound or that it threw up green ichor?

Green ichor, I hope--when we gain control over the Means of Production of the proles' food supply, we will need something much like Soylent Green but cheaper to produce and our MTE seems to have an inexhaustible supply.

Actually Comrade Dr. Theocritus, it did both. But an injection of collagen extracted from the flesh of 200 young virgin girls cured the affliction.

Soylent Green is a novel way to go! But I have an idea as to what to use as an additional food source for the proletariat. How about we also recycle proles that are still living but serve no purpose for The Party™? You know... like Krissy Keefer and Mama Moonbat. It's sort of like how the Dems and the "hard left" are cannibalizing each other these days.

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Blokhayev

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Actually Comrade Dr. Theocritus, it did both. But an injection of collagen extracted from the flesh of 200 young virgin girls cured the affliction.

Er, I don't know how to break this to you Comrade other than just to say there was a small problem with your injection. The records indicate there was, shall we say, some impurities present. Suffice it to say, I have initiated an investigation.

Commissar Pupovich wrote: Er, I don't know how to break this to you Comrade other than just to say there was a small problem with your injection. The records indicate there was, shall we say, some impurities present. Suffice it to say, I have initiated an investigation.

Damn it!!!

LUPE!!!!!!!! Where did you get that collagen? Say what? CHINA???

--

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:

Commissar Pupovich wrote: Er, I don't know how to break this to you Comrade other than just to say there was a small problem with your injection. The records indicate there was, shall we say, some impurities present. Suffice it to say, I have initiated an investigation.

Damn it!!!

LUPE!!!!!!!! Where did you get that collagen? Say what? CHINA???

I am so sorry to have to have been the one to break this news to you, but I really felt there was no choice. Rest assured, I have arrested all of the perpetrators but one who has continued to elude my security people so far.

Lupe has been instructed that Her Excellency demands only the purist collagen extracted from 200 young virgins and that in the future she will personally find 200 young virgins and extract the collagen herself! Any future failures and Speaker Nancsky Pelosivich will "deal" with her in a "special" way.

--
ZB

You realize of course that the only way tone can be certain about this to ensure a pure supply is for her to raise these children herself and to have a trusted guard to make sure no impurities enter the pool. Or, we can pour more resources into our cloning program.

So that's what it means - "it takes a village to raise a child for the collagen extraction"

Red Square wrote:So that's what it means - "it takes a village to raise a child for the collagen extraction"

Not eggsactly.....

It Takes a Collective Farm to Raise A Child©

Red Square wrote: Earth Day: April 22 is known in Russia as Lenin's birthday and is traditionally celebrated by uncompensated shoveling of earth. The event is called the Communist Subbotnik, or the Sacrificial Earth Shoveling Day. On a Saturday around that day all workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia are supposed to donate to the Worker's State a day of free labor - either at workplace or on communal property - cleaning streets, digging earth in public parks and lawns, etc.

WHAT THE HAY? Are you saying that in Mother Russia they perform uncompensated labor for only ONE day? While here, in the Kapitalist States of Amerikkka, we are willing to work, during some years, until early May, to pay our FAIR SHARE OF TAXES? It so happens that today, April 26th, is the so-called "Tax Freedom Day" -[url=http://]https://www.taxfoundation.org/publications/show/93.html[/url] - so as of today, if you must, you may spend the money the government lets you keep to horde more beets, potatos and rice (if you can find it, in the name of Stalin)

Well, what do you think of that, Red Square? Can't WE, as a nation do better? Can't we ALL just get along and work the WHOLE year for our Homeland®

! We could, in the great honor of socialism, call it Clintonist Stupidnik! What a glorious day it would be when we no longer have to balance our check books, or rely on the dangerous "voluntary compliance" laws when paying taxes and free ourselves of the ability to buy things impusively! I think in a few short months we will have the answer made for upon us.

A_TALL_STOLI wrote:WHAT THE HAY? Are you saying that in Mother Russia they perform uncompensated labor for only ONE day? While here, in the Kapitalist States of Amerikkka, we are willing to work, during some years, until early May, to pay our FAIR SHARE OF TAXES? It so happens that today, April 26th, is the so-called "Tax Freedom Day" -[URL=https://]

You seem to be confused Comrade, too much Stoli perhaps? True socialism will not be achieved in this country by taxation, that is but a means to the end. In the glorious Motherland, the workers were liberated from the burden of taxation! To paraphrase my Uncle Koba - "no money, no taxes, no problem." The working class was compensated primarily by the blessings of universal health care, safety and security on the streets, the greatest technology, an education system second to none, no divisive political activity, and finally, peace and harmony in affairs between countries other than of course those states that would dare to take these blessings away from the workers. What little money that the workers were granted was not used as a means of one worker having more than others, rather just a way of tracking the products and services that the workers desired most so the state could plan more efficiently to provide.
<br>We shall achieve this one day soon here, but first it is necessary to use and expand this tax system to ease the transition to a more equitable society.... sort of like easing the cat... er.... frog into a pot of water and then gradually turning up the heat.[/URL]

Commissar Pupovich wrote:You seem to be confused Comrade, too much Stoli perhaps? True socialismwill not be achieved in this country by taxation, that is but a means to the end. (SNIP) We shall achieve this one day soon here, but first it is necessary to use and expand this tax system to ease the transition to a more equitable society.... sortof like easing the cat... er.... frog into a pot of water and then gradually turning up the heat.

Oh No! Was I at it again? (HIC) A thousand pardons... I admit, sometimes after a long time of using pick axe and chains are finally removed, I need to kill pain with fermented potatoes. (HIC) It helps with state mandated Paxil go down easier before I go to second job as Hillarat vote rigger. But you helped clarify mein point. When Hillarat or Abominac are in orfice, 100% taxation is all the Amerikkkans will understand, you see!?! 100%

They will keep raising taxes until,as you so eloquently put it, like drunken frog in hot water! Or so methink like that. (HIC) We can focus then full time on our VERK! IT WILL BE A VERKERS PARIDISE AGAIN! MEIN FURHER... I CAN VALK! (HIC...HIC... HIC... THUD)