DNC Response to Bush Raises At Least One Eyebrow

As most Americans sat down to watch the DNC response to President Bush's State of the Union address on Tuesday night, they did not expect the action to be accompanied by an unusual jumpy creature sitting on the left side of Tim Kaine's forehead. Experts on both sides of political aisle agree that the content of Tim Kaine's speech was completely overshadowed by what media circles are now referring to as "The Eyebrow" ("the eyes have it.")

The Virginia Governor's furry little pet left American viewers adjusting their TV sets, while the makers of Rogaine scrambled to see if a product malfunction had taken place. Sometimes the creature seemed to take on a life of its own, moving independently from the rest of Kaine's head, and at one point even leaving the room for a minute, only to return with a glass of water. Towards the end of the speech The Eyebrow appeared to exhibit anger and made several threatening gestures - in utter contrast to Kaine's otherwise mild-mannered performance.

Cindy Sheehan:I was supposed to be the star of that night, not The Eyebrow! The police dragged me out of the Capitol and repeatedly tortured me Abu-Ghraib style in the Capitol dungeons - did anyone notice? No, everybody was watching The Eyebrow! That media whore stole all the attention away from me. God I hate this country! It's just not worth dying for! Many fear that Kaine's Eyebrow may negatively affect Virginia 's solar power initiative.

Two days after Tim Kaine's speech The Eyebrow was already being offered for sale on Ebay (the authenticity of the item has not been determined).

Buy Tim Kaine's Eyebrow on Ebay! Item name: Tim Kaine's Left Eyebrow - as seen on TV (DNC response) Playful furry pet eyebrow Category: Clothing, Shoes & Accessories Seller: republicanbarber Description: This playful little furry fella is a good "pet eyebrow" and answers to the name "Curly." He's quite a character and loves to be around political events looking for attention. Just like a loyal parrot perching on its owner's shoulder, Curly will hop right up there on your forehead and frolic and jump around for the slightest bit of attention. He needs to be brushed daily and requires a lot of trimming. Not to be fed Rogaine under any circumstances! Tim would like to sell Curly to a good home that would take care of him.