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Comrades: Did You Ever Have An Imaginary Friend?

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Well-educated experts in psychology all agree that it is healthy and useful for the People's youth to have one or more state-approved imaginary friends. It is important for their future roles as citizens of the state for child-persons to learn to properly document and report suspicious activities conducted by friends, both real and imaginary. Ultimately, the goal is for child-persons to understand that the state is their only true friend.

We bring this up because we are proud to report that Barack Obama once himself had his own imaginary friend. As we all would expect, commensurate with his superior intellect and knowledge of all things great and small, his imaginary friend was also superior in design and execution to anyone else's:

One of the more mysterious characters from President Obama's 1995 autobiography Dreams From My Father is the so-called 'New York girlfriend.' Obama never referred to her by name, or even by psuedonym, but he describes her appearance, her voice, and her mannerisms in specific detail.

But Obama has now told biographer David Maraniss that the 'New York girlfriend' was actually a composite character, based off of multiple girlfriends he had both in New York City and in Chicago.


Source: Politico

Unlike the common man or womyn, whose imaginary friends only babble childishly and engage in simplistic play with them, Barack Obama's imaginary friend held profound conversations with him and even accompanied him to a play:

"In Dreams from My Father, Obama chose to emphasize a racial chasm that unavoidably separated him from the woman he described as his New York girlfriend," Maraniss writes, offering a passage from the book in which they go to see a play by a black playwright:

One night I took her to see a new play by a black playwright. It was a very angry play, but very funny. Typical black American humor. The audience was mostly black, and everybody was laughing and clapping and hollering like they were in church. After the play was over, my friend started talking about why black people were so angry all the time. I said it was a matter of remembering—nobody asks why Jews remember the Holocaust, I think I said—and she said that's different, and I said it wasn't, and she said that anger was just a dead end. We had a big fight, right in front of the theater. When we got back to the car she started crying. She couldn't be black, she said. She would if she could, but she couldn't. She could only be herself, and wasn't that enough.

We in the Party demand to see detailed descriptions of Mitt Romney's imaginary friends. We are certain he will not be able to document imaginary friends with anywhere near the same complexity and subtlety of character as Dear Leader's. Mitt Romney's inability to produce a quality imaginary friend is more than sufficient proof that he is unfit to lead a great nation! Ask yourselves, would you want a leader whose imaginary friend could only say things like "Let's put the dog on the roof" to bail out the bankrupt auto company where YOU worked? Of course not. Us neither.

Comrades, the public is in danger of becoming confused by racist propaganda into believing
the faltering economy, growing unemployment and increasing inflation are Dear Leader's fault and not caused by the failed presidency of George W. Bush (whose imaginary friend, by the way, was an oil well.) We must demand they stop paying attention to trivial issues and focus on what's really important: who hired the people who gave the order to shoot Bin Laden and who can produce the most impressive imaginary friends. Forward!

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Comrade, as you well know, Mitt Romney is not only lacking in an equally complex and subtle imaginary friend, he - as far as we know - has yet to have any books written by unrepentent former terrorists. This shortcoming is only one of MANY shortcomings possessed by those non-fellow-travelers commonly known as the reich wing - most of them have never depended upon the government for sustenance, for example, and therefore simply can't understand the importance of learning to trust the government for your very existence. For example, many, if not most, of them cling to their guns and religion for protection and guidance, when we all know that such things are MUCH more perfectly provided by our government and its Dear Leader.

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I guess if there was a lot of laughing and clapping and hollering in church I'd get angry too.

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Upon learning that Obama says the girlfriend described in his biography was imaginary -- i.e., a composite of many girlfriends, Netanyahu confided to Obama, "I had imagined you to be my friend."

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--KOOK

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...and they made Obama king of all wild things

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Our Visual Agitator on duty has just inserted a smaller version of "Obama with Imaginary Comrade" into the original post.

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Can an imaginary friend have it's own imaginary friend? For instance, if you have an imaginary friend designed to showcase an important aspect of your persona, can the imaginary friend's imaginary friend further exist to enhance the ego and self importance of the comrade? And most importantly do the imaginary friends get to vote?

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Of COURSE they get to vote, Comrade Colonel! - and as you of all people can well imagine, not only are imaginary friends multi-dimensional, they are temporally multi-dimensional as well.

The only thing limiting the number of votes an imaginary friend(s) can cast is the limit of the stupid >spit< reich wing to be fooled to comprehend the complexity of it all.


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Does a crumpled up old three dollar bill count?

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BREAKING NEWS FROM IOWNTHEWORLD.com

Composite sketch expert renders Obama's "Girlfriends": his name is Larry

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Of course one's imaginary friends can have their own imaginary friends, and of course they can vote. We own the Necro-Proxy vote; it's now for us to own the Peter Pan vote. Or the Dorothy vote. Click your heels together and that's another hundred progressive votes.

The Romnoid is too simple a man to have imaginary friends. He's unfortunately tied to things like balance sheets, feasibility, and other mundane things. Whereas we all know that since reality is what we pull out of our asses, then the only thing that matters IS the imaginary things.


 
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