Coalition of the Gloating: No Hurricane Relief for USA!

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The day after Hurricane Katrina smashed into eastern Louisiana and western Mississippi, leaving a swath of devastation comparable to some of the worst in history, a multi-national coalition formed for the express purpose of discouraging countries from providing any relief aid to the beleaguered inhabitants of the Gulf Coast.

The so-called "Coalition of the Gloating" includes representatives from France, Germany, Iran, Syria, North Korea, Indonesia, Sudan, Mexico, and other respected members of the global community. The coalition's manifesto boasts some of the world's most revered intellectuals as signatories, including members of the US academic and artistic circles.

The Coalition's spokesperson, Ramsey Clark, stated: "The terrorist United States surely got what it deserved. We wish a thousand Katrinas upon it! We hope the native populations of Louisiana and Mississippi turn on the US army units deployed in the region and liberate their land from Yankee imperialism. We welcome the formation of spontaneous Marxist resistance groups, whom the right-wing-controlled media continues to describe as 'looters.' This marks the beginning of the liberation of all of North America from the oppressive capitalist regime once known as the USA. We ask the other enlightened peoples and governments of the world to join us in withholding all financial, material, moral, spiritual, or any other kind of support from the capitalist hegemon and its incorrigible citizens."

When a confused reporter brought up the fact that the US, both through taxpayer appropriations and private charitable contributions, provides more foreign aid per capita than any other industrialized nation in the world, the spokesman scoffed, "A few stingy hundred million to the tsunami victims? It's sickening to see such tightfistedness."

A wave of rallies and marches flooded the world's major capitals yesterday. These mass demonstrations were spontaneously organized by progressive organizations and individuals of good will, and were all funded by George Soros's network of political charities. The participants proudly held posters and signs that said, "Katrina was engineered by Karl Rove to pump up oil prices!" "Stop Halliburton from rebuilding New Orleans and other civilian areas!" "End the illegal occupation of Louisiana and Mississippi by the Bush-Cheney national guardsmen!" and "Nature can't be wrong!"

The general feeling at the marches was summed up in a street interview taken by a CNN correspondent in Jakarta. "The world's first impulse at hearing of the devastation was sympathy," said the randomly chosen protester in characteristically perfect English. "But George Bush squandered it all with his unilateral actions to stop people's suffering, and with his rush to send in the National Guard to evacuate people, prevent diseases, and stop the looting. He didn't even consult with the UN before he did that. If he had let the disaster run its natural course as it happens every year in Third World countries, where hundreds of thousands drown, starve to death, or die of water-borne illnesses, our hearts would naturally go out to the poor and the minorities who suffered most from the hurricane."

Millions of dollars worth of aid goes annually to the inefficient and indifferent Third-World welfare governments who use natural disasters to lay their hands on some of the free pork. Not in this case. It is becoming obvious that the Bush Administration's unilateral rescue and relief efforts have brought the world together against America.

Member FFHFK
We have word that Katrina has disappeared with no trace and has most likely been illegally imprisoned on a remote communist island where she is no doubt being made to pose for US military torture masters on all hands and knees and wearing only a doggy leash!!!


We - will aid the insurgent militants and Peoples Front for Liberation of Consumer Goods and Merchandise in all New Orleans stores and a campaign of indiscriminate IESB* attacks against the Bush-Cheney Junta occupying military forces will begin now and continue until free products are made available to all and the socialist dictatorship begins!!!

* for the weak pacifist bourgeois who know nothing of military operations excepting what is seen in Gollywood movies -it is: Improvised Explosive Stink Bomb

Does anyone need a Magic Bus for protesting the illegal occupation of Louisiana and Mississippi?
No one over 30 allowed on the bus!

This just in...
...Mexico breaks from Coalition of the Gloating and offers to send over an additional 2 million "undocumented workers" to aid in the rebuilding efforts...

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I noticed that the self-reliant people left after the evacuation order was issued, but the government's dependents remained behind, thinking that the nanny state would take care of them.

Kuwaiti Comrade
"The Terrorist Katrina is One of the Soldiers of Allah for Islam, but Not an Adherent of Al-Qaeda."

(Aug. 31 edition of the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyassa)

Angry New Orlean
I can't believe this!

First the Government tells me to leave my home because of a storm! NO WAY! Who are they to tell me what to do!

Then they let my home get flooded!

Then they let me loot BUT WHERE CAN I PUT MY STUFF


So I go to the Superdome and it is FILTHY! Where are the cleaning crews?

In the end I had to leave all my new stuff AND MY OLD STUFF and steal a car to drive out of town.

I bet there are lots of dead people back there too. I didn't really look for sick people or people in trouble since that is the government's job, but I bet you my next door neighbor is dead. She was sick and old. Bush is an asshole.

NO WONDER people are shooting at the National Guard, cops, doctors, nurses and patients at Hospitals and at the people in boats looking for stranded people! They LET US DOWN!

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Comrade Angry!

Channel that anger into something positive and glorious! Such as campaign contributions to the next People's Ruler Hillary Clinton! She needs lots of capitalist dollar$!! You might also work for her campaign, slashing tires of buses the GOP rents to get the bourgeoisie to the voting polls. If the Collective pulls together, 2008 will be the Year of the Hill (2nd Bill)!!

Heil Hillary!!

p.s. Kommissar Betty, what is the status of the shipment of People's shovels you shipped to the rebirthing area?

Red Carpet
And how does the Bush Empire respond to disaster? By planning the conquest and colonialization of yet more free countries! As if the Iraqi oil weren't enough profit. Now he wants the oil of Venezuala too! ... 432634.htm

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p.s. Kommissar Betty, what is the status of the shipment of People's shovels you shipped to the rebirthing area?

Everything seems to be going exactly not as planned. Instead of constructing a new soviet utopia from the destroyed remains of the bourgeoisie, the people are using them to smash the glass of buildings that they want to loot. Others have started violent shovel-gangs and are beating the living c**p out of the defensless people for toilet paper. We need to send a mobile re-education center down there ASAP!

Deerest Behhty ,
Vee Haf juest fienished buryink las ofv box carr froome Karl Marx Tree-tmint cent-urr an vill beh loodink sho-vels ant cool- aed (Froome Lahte-est Sheep -mint)vee lost soome ofv zee jon kerri mee-more-ee-al play-ink kards dough... vee arr goink to hell-p wif ree-ed ewe-kay sun cinter (soome ofv zee coom Rads haf coom plane-d ofv cool-ate hafink fuhhnie tahste zen day deed knot vake up)gards vant two zay tank ewe foor hart-tac ant smookes.. Vaht is a Cah -treena???Vee arr reelllee loohhkink phoor word two vee-zit ofv Jon kerri mee-More-ee-al vile vee arr woorkink at ree-ed-ewe-cay- shun cinter???

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Vaht is a Cah -treena???

That isn't important right now. What is important is the work you and your fellow comrades are accomplishing. Without your sweat and blood (well, mostly your blood. Queen Hillary gets antsy when she can't feed on the living for prolonged periods of time) we wouldn't be able to do whatever that important business it is we are trying to accomplish.