TRUE Progressives Make the BEST Muslims

Raum Emmanual Goldstein

It is not normally in my nature to drop names at soirées to pad my Progressive Credentials as some of the younger apparatchiks are wont; however, [highlight=#ffff00]it sends a tingle up my leg to introduce a very prominent Muslim Cleric that I esteem as a very close, personal siddiqi: Shaykh Muhammad Hassan.[/highlight]

[highlight=#ffff00]He just so happens to be one of the MOST a popular preachers in Egypt![/highlight] We met once at an interfaith conference that I infiltrated attended and we have maintained a warm relationship since. I often find his insights most illuminating!

Today, I have invited him to address my venerated Komrades to provide a rational as to why the modern Progressive Movement and the Islamic Kaliphate Movement have so much in common and why we will eventually overcome the Konservatives as "Fellow Travelers"…

Shaykh Muhammad, المضي قدما, if you please:


As you can see the same ruthless and sophisticated qualities that make GOOD Muslims are also imbued in GOOD Progressives. This is the natural beauty of our comparative systems of enslavement governess: "stabili volumus facimus veritatem et Virtus nobis donat"

So, does it matter if a stalwart member -- ahem -- of the Progressive Movement twitters his tweeter to under aged females? Does not ones success for the CommonGood™ count for anything any more?

I therefore, must stiffly denounce any Democrat who called for the resignation of Anthony Wiener.

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Comrade Rahm,

Your work for the kollektive will certainly not go unnoticed with this edu-ma-K-shun-'l propagandic instructional video for the proles. Islam IS the religion of choice—and mandate—for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. It couldn't be made anymore clear that the ends justify the means. Progs are for peace, just as the Mooslims are the religion of peace. The two are intertwined and are intermarried. Two religions now have become one and the same.


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I doubt the cleric likes these strong immoral types.

The activists of Femen, a group of young women who have made a name for themselves with their topless demonstrations for feminist causes, decided to throw their support behind Saudi women who are not allowed to drive under the country's strict interpretation of Islamic law. Baring their breasts while covering their faces with black hijab, the Femen activists drove past the Saudi embassy chanting “Cars for women, camels for men.”