Classics of Marxism predicted that in the future, automation would kick in and tackle the toughest jobs, hastening our march toward the inevitable Glorious World of Next Tuesday. And it’s already happening, with AI taking over the intellectual and creative sectors, leaving us with the joyous task of shoveling beets.

And, comrades, our march forward is picking up speed! If last year’s birthday message was almost entirely generated by graphic AI, this year, AI has gifted us a full-fledged music video – complete with the People’s Cube Anthem for mandatory singing and marching. See the lyrics below.

Enjoy the show! We will be keeping an eye out and snapping photos of those who won’t be enjoying themselves.

Fast Forward The Unwashed

The People's Cube official anthem

(Verse 1)
In the fields where beets grow tall,
We toil and sweat, heeding the call,
With beet vodka to warm our hearts,
We march as one, never to depart.

(Chorus)
Oh, we put the U in Gulag,
Beneath the banner, red and grand,
Life behind the irony curtain,
For the Glorious World of Next Tuesday we stand!

(Verse 2)
At Tractor Barn #2, our spirits high,
We dance and sing beneath the sky,
In collective joy, our bonds grow strong,
As we labor together, all day long.

(Chorus)
Oh, we put the U in Gulag,
Beneath the banner, red and grand,
Life behind the irony curtain,
For the Glorious World of Next Tuesday we stand!

(Bridge)
With shovel in hand, and spirit keen,
Our march for progress, evergreen,
In every step, the future's clear,
For our cause, we hold dear.

(Chorus)
Oh, we put the U in Gulag,
Beneath the banner, red and grand,
Life behind the irony curtain,
For the Glorious World of Next Tuesday we stand!

(Outro)
So let the world beware, and see,
The might of our solidarity,
In the fields, where beets doth grow,
Our revolution's seeds we sow!
 

It reminds me of the old days, sitting on banks of the Volga, smoking a papirosa between pulls off the old oil tin full of Other Ivan's latest vintage.

No, wait, that was last night.

Ah well. Until Next Tuesday, Comrades!

Think of it, Comrades—The People's Cube will soon be old enough to vote!

Most glorious, Comrade Red Square!! And 19 is a prime number -- a True anniversary!

trashmouth wrote: ↑

4/1/2024, 9:50 am

More zenn you zink!


 

This will be my 6000th post since my joining the Cube in February 2011, and most fitting that it is to congratulate Red Square on 19 years of Glorious presentation of Current Truth™ for the People™ and the Children™!

To think, those little beet-sprouts and Young Pioneers born in the days of "Communists for Kerry" (look it up...) are now the informed VOTERS of the next election and leaders of tomorrow.

Tractor Barn 2 will be illuminated in all red lights on this special night; and it is possible that after official closing time and once the proles are ejected, there might or might not be an assembly in a bunker (that may or may not exist) for the Direktor and his boys in Agitprop department, select party officials, Kommisars, and Kommisarka alike to share a celebratory toast with one of the few remaining bottles of Krasnodar Reserve.

Red, Thanks for all you've done, and for bringing perspective of and to this Nation and the interwebs!  Keep up the great work.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: ↑

4/1/2024, 4:30 pm

This will be my 6000th post since my joining the Cube in February 2011, and most fitting that it is to congratulate Red Square on 19 years of Glorious presentation of Current Truth™ for the People™ and the Children™!

To think, those little beet-sprouts and Young Pioneers born in the days of "Communists for Kerry" (look it up...) are now the informed VOTERS of the next election and leaders of tomorrow.

Tractor Barn 2 will be illuminated in all red lights on this special night; and it is possible that after official closing time and once the proles are ejected, there might or might not be an assembly in a bunker (that may or may not exist) for the Direktor and his boys in Agitprop department, select party officials, Kommisars, and Kommisarka alike to share a celebratory toast with one of the few remaining bottles of Krasnodar Reserve.

Red, Thanks for all you've done, and for bringing perspective of and to this Nation and the interwebs!  Keep up the great work.

Congratulations Comrade Ivan T.S. on your 6,000th and applause for your inspiring Party™-spirited birthday message, which has inspired me to get some urgent wet work* concluded before the start of the real after-hours festivities.

The bunker Waffle House machine gun nests will be manned will be closed to the public tonight to keep out hooligans, rascals an provocateurs who would only menace the stippers disrupt our celebration.

And it goes without saying that we honor the comrade who has put the red in our square and The People™ in our cube for nearly four five-year-plan cycles two decades.

Floorward into the Glorious World of Next Tuesday!

* laboriously drinking chilled vodka with beer chasers
 

Colonel Obyezyana wrote: ↑

4/1/2024, 6:08 pm

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: ↑

4/1/2024, 4:30 pm

This will be my 6000th post since my joining the Cube in February 2011, and most fitting that it is to congratulate Red Square on 19 years of Glorious presentation of Current Truth™ for the People™ and the Children™!

To think, those little beet-sprouts and Young Pioneers born in the days of "Communists for Kerry" (look it up...) are now the informed VOTERS of the next election and leaders of tomorrow.

Tractor Barn 2 will be illuminated in all red lights on this special night; and it is possible that after official closing time and once the proles are ejected, there might or might not be an assembly in a bunker (that may or may not exist) for the Direktor and his boys in Agitprop department, select party officials, Kommisars, and Kommisarka alike to share a celebratory toast with one of the few remaining bottles of Krasnodar Reserve.

Red, Thanks for all you've done, and for bringing perspective of and to this Nation and the interwebs!  Keep up the great work.

Congratulations Comrade Ivan T.S. on your 6,000th and applause for your inspiring Party™-spirited birthday message, which has inspired me to get some urgent wet work* concluded before the start of the real after-hours festivities.

The bunker Waffle House machine gun nests will be manned will be closed to the public tonight to keep out hooligans, rascals an provocateurs who would only menace the stippers disrupt our celebration.

And it goes without saying that we honor the comrade who has put the red in our square and The People™ in our cube for nearly four five-year-plan cycles two decades.

Floorward into the Glorious World of Next Tuesday!

* laboriously drinking chilled vodka with beer chasers
 

Hear! hear!

Comrade Square! Such wonderful lyrics! What a great anniversary!

I (barely) remember 15 1/2 years ago when I was a lost kitten who wondered into The Cube. We'd amaze as life imitated the wondrous art being produced here at The People's Cube.

Since then, I've learned not to challenge worse, because it keeps getting worse.

Here's to another year.

Thank you for providing this hilarious on-target alternative to the world's increasing idiocy.

Meanwhile, I condemn myself for excessive adjectives in my previous sentence.

Congratulations and thank you for this wonderful site and keeping the cube rolling ! Love the anthem