Schools in southern Illinois were greeted with a terrifying sight in the sky Friday, as a cloud appearing to be in the form of a SIG 556 rifle loomed overhead about 8:30 in the morning. Upon noticing the cloud, teachers and other school personnel rushed to gather the children and move them inside the school to safety, potentially rescuing dozens from cases of PTSD.

Mr. Mooney, one of the local elementary school science teachers, stated that "this is yet another example of how climate change contributes to terrorism. It's almost as if nobody can feel safe anymore for fear of stepping outside and seeing a Glock-47 [sic] in the sky. Although shocking, this incident will provide a valuable illustration to my students in the future on why we need climate justice now."

Schools across the country are now hosting drills to prepare for the event of an assault cloud sighting, as incidents continue to rise due to the growing effects of climate change. Oddly enough, some schools in California have forgone these drills due to local beliefs that clouds are just a myth.

This marks the second time in recent days that non-gun gun sightings have occurred, the most recent one involving a Maryland school cafeteria which had to close down after a blurry impression of a Steyr AUG appeared to be burned into the side of a piece of toast.

Since when do clouds look like toaster-pastries?

I blame George Bush. Still.

and Halliburton.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Since when do clouds look like toaster-pastries?

I [highlight=#ffff00]blame George Bush[/highlight]. Still.

[highlight=#ffff00]and Halliburton[/highlight].

Don't forget me. I'm probably mixed up in this somehow...

Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Since when do clouds look like toaster-pastries?

I [highlight=#ffff00]blame George Bush[/highlight]. Still.

[highlight=#ffff00]and Halliburton[/highlight].

Don't forget me. I'm probably mixed up in this somehow...

Your farts caused the clouds Crappy. Quit eating so many damn beans. And enjoy the ones you have, because you're getting rice and dirt soup after the revolution.

Captain Craptek wrote:cumulonimbus-incus-i8595.jpg

Ah yes, the "Condom insertion instruction clouds", very helpful visual for the Future Bearers of the Re-Revolution™.

A basic overview of how our schools have progressed in recent decades. If you feel like proudly beating your chest and taking credit for it, you may do so, comrades. But don't forget that we share credits and results equally.

​1. Teaching Math when I was in school
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).

6. Teaching Math Now
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.​​

Red Square wrote:A basic overview of how our schools have progressed in recent decades. If you feel like proudly beating your chest and taking credit for it, you may do so, comrades. But don't forget that we share credits and results equally.

​1. Teaching Math when I was in school
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).

6. Teaching Math Now
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.​​

7a. Teaching Math in 2020s (Prole Kids' Question)
A Collective Logger cuts down 20 trees and loads them onto his diesel truck for transport to the local sawmill. How big of an environmental mass-murderer is he and based on the rate of 15%, how much carbon tax will he have to pay? Please give your answer to the first question by writing doubleplusungood, and to answer the second question, trace around your hand and color it in with a design that you feel represents how much carbon tax he'll have to pay.

7b. Teaching Math in 2020s (Kommissar Kids' question)
A Collective Logger acquires 100 units of pre-revolution currency by stealing it from a sawmill, which stole a truckload of lumber at the same time the logger stole the PRC. A truckload of lumber contains 20 logs, and the mill can get 250 board feet out of each log. If a Trump Supporter internment camp buys 1000 board feet at one PRC per board foot, a Gun Owner internment camp buys 2000 board feet at 1/2 a PRC per board foot, and a crackhouse went and took 500 board feet, how much PRC will the sawmill have stolen from society, and how many board feet will the sawmill have left to donate to the completion of the local Sex Change Palace currently under construction?

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Red Square wrote:A basic overview of how our schools have progressed in recent decades. If you feel like proudly beating your chest and taking credit for it, you may do so, comrades. But don't forget that we share credits and results equally.

​1. Teaching Math when I was in school
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).

6. Teaching Math Now
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.​​

7a. Teaching Math in 2020s (Prole Kids' Question)
A Collective Logger cuts down 20 trees and loads them onto his diesel truck for transport to the local sawmill. How big of an environmental mass-murderer is he and based on the rate of 15%, how much carbon tax will he have to pay? Please give your answer to the first question by writing doubleplusungood, and to answer the second question, trace around your hand and color it in with a design that you feel represents how much carbon tax he'll have to pay.

7b. Teaching Math in 2020s (Kommissar Kids' question)
A Collective Logger acquires 100 units of pre-revolution currency by stealing it from a sawmill, which stole a truckload of lumber at the same time the logger stole the PRC. A truckload of lumber contains 20 logs, and the mill can get 250 board feet out of each log. If a Trump Supporter internment camp buys 1000 board feet at one PRC per board foot, a Gun Owner internment camp buys 2000 board feet at 1/2 a PRC per board foot, and a crackhouse went and took 500 board feet, how much PRC will the sawmill have stolen from society, and how many board feet will the sawmill have left to donate to the completion of the local Sex Change Palace currently under construction?

Bonus Question: How many SJW's will be triggered by this post?

Red Square wrote:A basic overview of how our schools have progressed in recent decades. If you feel like proudly beating your chest and taking credit for it, you may do so, comrades. But don't forget that we share credits and results equally.

​1. Teaching Math when I was in school
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).

6. Teaching Math Now
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.​​

As a young pioneer, I can confirm that numbers 1-4 are taught in school as the word problem applications that the teacher never assigns. Instead, we used abstract math problems such adms 2+2= (5) and a a box to the side for children to have their own unit such as dildos, pussies, food stamps, etc. Number 5 is not math, but half the year of Earth Science, with the other half being proof against God, and another half being forced labor for the state outside of school. Number six... Number six is a joke told by students to each other without letting their parents find out.