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Nathan Phillips's Fake Recon Ranger Hymn

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For comrades living under a rock:


PROG OFF: All glory and laughter to "The Mouse That Roared" for the the idea and for some of these lyrics. I've only done the first stanza (x3) because it's the only stanza with lyrics that anyone recognizes; and everybody recognizes the lyrics.


From the halls of Maytag-zuma
To the stores of Whirpoolie
I will fight our country's heat waves
From Lejeune to Yuma AZ*
First to check for leaks in Freon
And to keep that coil clean
I ain't proud you learned my title
Of Reefer tech marine

From a brig in Camp Lejeune-ah
To a cell near Orange County
I've defied my unit's standard
By vacating without leave
First to flight from routine duties
Now the Corp's prestige i'll glean
I'm beclowned to claim the title
Of a Recon Range Marine

From a stall in Petaluma
To a shrine in old DC
I will slight our nation's children
By reversing bigotries
First to blight the lives of teen boys
Then to keep on slandering
Been exposed for claiming title
Of a Vietnam War marine

*(The Isle is Camp Lejeune; and there is a Marine Aviation Base in Yuma AZ -- which, in the summer, makes Phoenix look like Club Med destination)

PROGG OFF: Now that we're getting the Red Square treatment, let us give full credit. The originator, who went by "The Mouse That Roared/America Dont Serf" wrote a full first stanza. The first two lines, which are great, are his. The third line was "We will check our nation's coolant systems" Two other lines of note were "First to check for precious Freon" (Nice!) "And to keep the condensers clean" ... So basically, all I did was edit his lines to make them fit the pace of the original song


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Callmelennie wrote: Been exposed for claiming title
Of a Vietnam War marine
When the phrase "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" acquires a whole different meaning.

"Thank you for your timely service, just in time for the cooling season. I hope those coils won't freeze up again."

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From the comments on this thread at Facebook about Nathan Phillips:

I can see him in his rack at night: "This is my compressor. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My compressor and I are one. Without me, my compressor is worthless. Without my compressor, the refer doesn't get fixed."

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Our Twitter follower Frank Sieg posted this, sung as The Ballad of the Green Berets...

Ballad of the Reefer Beret

Non-Fighting Repairman from the sky
Frosty dude who likes to lie
A man who bangs his drums all day
This Cowardly man of the Reefer Beret

Silver shelving upon his chest
he's not a man, he's just a pest.
One single man we'll test today
But even he can't win the Reefer Beret

Trained to fix most any brand
Trained in drumming, with his hand
Trained to lie both night and day
Frosty deep, from the Reefer Beret

Silver shelving upon his chest
he's not a man, he's just a pest.
One single man we'll test today
But even he can't win the Reefer Beret

Back at home a lawyer waits
His Reefer Beret has met his fate
He has lied about being oppressed
Leaving CNN this last request

Put silver shelving on my son's chest,
make him one of Whirlpool's best,
he'll be a man they'll smirk at one day
have him win the Reefer Beret


Red Square wrote:From the comments on this thread at Facebook about Nathan Phillips:

I can see him in his rack at night: "This is my compressor. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My compressor and I are one. Without me, my compressor is worthless. Without my compressor, the refer doesn't get fixed."

A most impressive idea, O dread founder and First Comrade of the Cube. If you will permit this most unequal of equals to proffer a suggestion, the HVAC Creed should be about one of the technician's tools, just as the Rifleman's Creed is about the infantryman's tool. And so, like the financiopathic economic dung beetle that I once was, I will once again exploit the material of others so that it may be formed into a more perfect shape .............

.

"This is my volt-meter. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My volt-meter is my best friend. I must understand its readings as i understand my life. My voltmeter, without me, is useless. Without the voltmeter I am useless. I must understand my voltmeter's truth. I must disconnect faster than the stray voltage that is trying to kill me. I will"

"Before God, I swear this creed. My voltmeter and I are the defenders of my comfort. We are the masters of the summer. We are the saviours of the condenser. So be it! Until there is no summer. But fall!"

PROGG OFF: I am giving Nathan Phillips too much credit. I saw "refrigerator" and read "refrigeration", which I mistook for HVAC technician, a fairly valuable service member, especially in hot places.

You mean to tell me he merely serviced refrigerators one weekend a month (plus several weeks in the summer) in the Marine Corps Reserve .. and still went AWOL three times?

That's as lowly a service record as you can have. And then had the nerve to insinuate he was a Vietnam vet?

I'm speechless.


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Callmelennie wrote:"This is my volt-meter. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My volt-meter is my best friend. I must understand its readings as i understand my life. My voltmeter, without me, is useless. Without the voltmeter I am useless. I must understand my voltmeter's truth. I must disconnect faster than the stray voltage that is trying to kill me. I will

Before God, I swear this creed. My voltmeter and I are the defenders of my comfort. We are the masters of the summer. We are the saviours of the condenser. So be it! Until there is no summer. But fall!
In the case of Nathan Phillips, this may as well be the Phillips Screwdriver.

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There's a man that claims he's recon ranger
To everyone he meets, story's a changer
With every word he spake
Another lie he makes
Odds are he'll just get the more bizarro

Icebox service man, Icebox service man
We've checked out all your numbers
And taken away your fame

Beware of teenage faces in a line
That teen face doesn't hide a racist mind
Be careful what you say
As you gave yourself away
The odds are you'll just get the more bizarro

Icebox service man, Icebox service man
We've checked out all your numbers
And taken away your fame

Swinging on the DC circuit one day
Lying about Vietnam tours next day
Don't let the wrong words slip
While filming those newsreel clips
Odds are you'll just get the more bizarro

Icebox service man, Icebox service man
We've checked out all your numbers
And taken away your fame

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From Comrade Chernobylsky:

Phillips_Blumenthahl.jpg

The two met John Kerry in Cambodia and Hillary at an airfield in Bosnia where they all dodged sniper fire.

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Saving Private Freon
A Fridge too Far
Fridge over the River Kwai
The Fridges of Madison County
The Fridge of Berenam

So many great movies this hero, Nathan Phillips, to star in and so little time.

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Comrade Jenkem wrote:Saving Private Freon
A Fridge too Far
Fridge over the River Kwai
The Fridges of Madison County
The Fridge of Berenam

So many great movies this hero, Nathan Phillips, to star in and so little time.
The new release Social Justice Edition of DRUMLINE has had a few minor changes as well...

drums.jpg

DEPLORABLE PROGG ON

YE DOGGIES!!! We's a-givin' that Injin ajitatur feller what fer' now, ain't we Komrads? He'll be a-thinkin' twice before he goes a-beatin' his tom-tom in front of any other MAGA folk, I reckun

And to that noobie, Komrad Jenkem ... dont be a-forgettin' that HVAC Ranger classic -- "Tranes of Iwo Jima."

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Sung to the Tune of the Minstrel Boy,

The Freezer Boy


The Freezer boy to the brig is gone,
In the ranks of the AWOL you'll find him;
His father's wrenches he hath girded on,
And his wild tales sling crap behind him;

"Lies and Bullshit!" when the story fell,
"Tho' all the videos betray thee,
One smirk at least, thy tales shall sell,
The hateful left shall praise thee!"

The freezer boy fell! But the MAGA's steel
Could not bring lying media under;
The lies he lov'd ne'er believed again,
and tore its narrative asunder;

And said "No lies shall sully thee,
Thou soul of hate and chicane'ry!
Thy tales were made for spite and glee
They shall ever end in mopery!




(Tom tom tom tom TOM tom tom tom tom tom tom tom TOM)
(Tom tom tom tom TOM tom tom tom tom tom tom tom TOM)

Nicky Sandman, wipe off that smile (tom tom tom TOM)
Or we'll smear you as something vile (tom tom tom TOM)
You're s'posed to bow and whimper like Rover (tom tom tom TOM)
When that noble Vietnam vet comes over (tom tom tom TOM)
Sandman, you were attacked
Dint have a bishop who had your back
Please turn off your magic smirk
Nicky Sandman, they'll call you a jerks

Nicky Sandman, you're just a teen
This is the vilest smear I've ever seen
Just stood your ground when that bum came over
Then Twatter mobs spewed loathsome spite like ogres
Sandman, you were alone
It's the grown-ups who have to atone
Please retain your your magic smirk
Nicky Sandman, made them all jerks

Nicky Sandman (Yes?) Exposed their scheme
They showed with all their lies that they're the extremes
Its now clear you were just a bystander
Now sue their asses for lies and slander
For Nicky Sandman, let's all be bold
Must fight this madness before it takes hold
So please retain your magic smile
Nicky Sandman, brought out ; really really brought out
Nicky Sandman brought out their bile

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A Handy Guide To Facial Expressions

How do you tell if someone is hatefully sneering at you or just smiling? It's a difficult task.

We consulted with over five hundred facial expression experts, showing them various images and asking them to identify which ones were a normal human emotion and which ones were literally Hitler. If a video ever comes out of someone making one of these expressions and you need a quick hot take to tweet out, consult this handy chart:

[img]/images/various_uploads/Facial_Expressions_Maga_Hat.jpg[/img]


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Even more cowbell! Ushanka tip to Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin:


I got a FEV-UH, Comrades. And the only prescription is more SONG PARODY!!


MAGA time has come
Media's cred now is gone
Cretins do fear the Red Hat
As do thin-skinned and the bums and deranged
We wont be like they are
Come on Nathan (Dont fear the Red Hat)
Nathan, drop that drum (Dont fear the Red Hat)
Dont enable a lie (Dont fear the Red Hat)
Nathan be a man

(MAGA, MAGA, MAGA, MA ...)
(MAGA, MAGA, MAGA, MA ...)

Your story is now undone
Your 15 minutes are gone
Online trolls and MSM
Are complicit in insanity (online trolls and MSM)
40,000 proggs re-tweeting everyday (like online trolls and MSM)
40,000 Facebook warriors everyday (Redefine reality)
Another 40,000 deleting everyday
Now can see what they are
C'mon Nathan (Dont smear the Red Hat)
Nathan lose that drum (Dont smear the Red hat)
Dont enable a lie (Dont smear the Red Hat)
Nathan be a man

(Well whaddya know, Comrades .. the fever has broken ...)


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Nick Sandmann's Lawyers Release Video of ‘The Truth' About ‘March for Life'

Covington Catholic High School student Nick Sandmann's legal team released a 15-minute video on Friday exposing “the truth” about what happened to him at January's March for Life.

Sandmann's legal team has been preparing to send defamation suit warning letters to a laundry list of celebrities, individual journalists, media outlets, and several Catholic dioceses who falsely accused Sandmann and his classmates of harassing a Native American.


The Cincinnati Inquirer released the full list of people and organizations listed in the lawsuit:

The Washington Post
The New York Times
Cable News Network, Inc. (CNN)
The Guardian
National Public Radio
TMZ
Atlantic Media Inc.
Capitol Hill Publishing Corp.
Diocese of Covington
Diocese of Lexington
Archdiocese of Louisville
Diocese of Baltimore
Ana Cabrera
Sara Sidner
Erin Burnett
S.E. Cupp
Elliot C. McLaughlin
Amanda Watts
Emanuella Grinberg
Michelle Boorstein
Cleve R. Wootson Jr.
Antonio Olivo
Joe Heim
Michael E. Miller
Eli Rosenberg
Isaac Stanley-Becker
Kristine Phillips
Sarah Mervosh
Emily S. Rueb
Maggie Haberman
David Brooks
Shannon Doyne
Kurt Eichenwald
Andrea Mitchell
Savannah Guthrie
Joy Reid
Chuck Todd
Noah Berlatsky
Elisha Fieldstadt
Eun Kyung Kim
HBO
Bill Maher
Warner Media
Condé Nast
GQ
Heavy.com
The Hill
The Atlantic
Bustle
Ilhan Omar
Elizabeth Warren
Kathy Griffin
Alyssa Milano
Jim Carrey

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Winston Churchill sued several people for libel throughout his life. He never settled for money for compensation because he wanted the perps go to jail. They all went to jail. I hope that can happen in the United States.

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Red Square wrote:The two met John Kerry in Cambodia and Hillary at an airfield in Bosnia where they all dodged sniper fire.

We know this, because Brian Williams was brave enough to cover the event.


 
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