Hamas sets standards for responsible activism in Gaza

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Having vowed to burn 10,000 tires on the Gaza-Israeli border, Hamas leadership responded to criticism by some environmental groups with a promise to use all of their incoming donations from environmentalists to buy carbon credits.

An unnamed official in the Hamas government has expressed genuine concern with an increase in greenhouse gases and toxic fumes released into the atmosphere by a continued occupation of Palestinian lands by the Zionist entity. The Palestinian people are prepared to handle this environmental crisis responsibly, the source said.

As a gesture of good will, the Hamas official has also revealed plans to convert the next humanitarian aid package into cash, with the purpose of purchasing an adequate number of carbon credits, as per calculations by leading Palestinian climatologists.

The amount of humanitarian aid expected to arrive in Gaza from various countries and international organizations is directly proportional to the number of tires burnt, Israeli soldiers attacked, and Palestinians killed, the source added.

"The more we burn, kill, and die, the more aid will be there to sell on the black market so we can buy more carbon credits to save our planet from imminent climate change," the Palestinian official said. "So please donate as much as you can to save our green earth from the scourge of global warming!"


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As a bonus - from our friend Daniel Greenfield:

How Not To Get Shot by a Soldier

First of all it's important to remember that if you attack an armed man in a uniform, he will very probably shoot you.

The good news is that there is a very easy way not to get shot.

Step 1. Don't attack soldiers.
Step 2. When in doubt, see Step 1.

Read the rest here - ... ldier.html

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What's wrong with a Palestinian getting shot by a soldier?

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Unnamed sources told me today that mysterious comrades of a Texas beet collective have sold the expensive wheels but donated the tires from their 2016 Automotive Liberation Contest to the Palestinian smoke generator project. Bravo, comrades! Way to go!

Craptek NEWS

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Not to be outdone, Islamic State is claiming responsibility for unleashing magma all over the island of Hawaii. "By casting our brave jihadist volcano divers into the cauldron, we are able to take revenge on one of the Great Satan's favorite vacation resorts," said Achmed of IS in an internet video released yesterday. "No longer shall you insult the Prophet (peace be upon him) by calling us the JV team!"

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Standard No. One: Women and young children go first!