Guidance on the [Redacted] Threat

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The latest from a People's Cube friend in New York:

By Marion D.S. Dreyfus
Global City, Eurabi-asiaca

Since early, no, mid-twentieth century, [redacted] citizens have been growing more concerned about the number of [redacted] working or residing in their midst. All such [redactions] are henceforth considered 100% unexceptionable, free of any [redacted] harassment, frisking or interrogation.

Members of this sub-majoritarian community, now called [redacted] in recognition of current media sensibilities and stylebooks, have barricaded themselves in [redacted] loci, in order to resist the onslaught of those distraught by changes in their culture / neighborhood / language.

Those not hewing to the [redacted] party line, who used to be understood universally as [redacted], are now effectively transferring dictionary definitions to slimmer but stricter compendia of received and acceptable linguistic carriers, once called vocabulary, or words.
Increasing focus on the impermissible terminology of the [redacted] culture has made the journalist's career endeavor harder than ever, since [pronoun neutral] cache of accepted terms for once-prosaic issues and themes, people and cultural byways has become so strictured as to make a 500-word op-ed almost [redacted] impossible.

Dictionary compilers and aggregators are, however, earnestly at work unwriting as many formerly accepted terms and phrases as possible, the better to guide media hirelings in their efforts to convey as much of the news as [redacted] possible. In a similar vein, history books and research papers will be combed for [redacted] no-no's and purged phraseology.

Many countries, consequently, are now taboo to cite, lest persons wrongly infer criticism of their culture or resource usage. Any but the mildest of identifiers are now strictly [redacted]. Defining a person's height, age, weight, religion or ethnicity is now cause for systemic lawsuits from all aggrieved parties, of which there are as many as one can shake a [redacted] at.

Women may not be praised other than in neutral tones and terms equally apt for males. Adjectives and, more often of late, adverbs are to be avoided if at all possible. Otherwise, and in short order, one may be subject to [redacted].

Children until the age of 5 will be permitted the use of delinquent and condemned terms, but upon their 6th birthday, they will be given a menu of exceptions and exemptions, flouting of which will be handled by year-long time-outs in a county that is not yet declared unnamable.

The important work of the compilers continues apace, and prospective writers, broadcasters and citizens are advised to check the daily listings posted by the language syndicates. There is, of course, no higher authority to appeal to, should there be the least [redacted] confusion or articulation lag.

Television and films will be backstopped to delete and substitute contaminated and banned usages, images or signage. The new term for the emergent licit language is PCcabilese [peck-a-bill-ees]. Conversation in public will be monitored 24/7 by the affable [redacted] professors of imperturbable language. Acronyms will be vetted so as to avoid hurtful implications.

NB: Those using sign language have considerably more latitude, as non-sign-readers will have a hard time catching illicit usages, or words and phrases declared non-U, and proof of misuse will be nigh impossible, absent Google Glass. No criticism of any group, or even one's own, is permitted, implied or itemized. Bulleted points are discouraged for the same reason.

Trespassers will be severely [redacted].

Marion D.S. D[redacted]fus . . . April 20©13

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All for the collective and the collective all for the elite!!


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There must be a scratch on my Obamaglasses, since I keep seeing these weird black lines...

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If everything is relative, how do the redactors decide what to redact?

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"Children until the age of 5 will be permitted the use of delinquent and condemned terms ..."
Yes, these The Children™ should be exempt, but they must have heard the [redacted] redacted terms somewhere, must they not? The parental units in charge of these The Children™ on behalf of The Collective™ should be denounced and cooked sent to re-training for their/he/her/its failure to properly protect The Children™ from [redacted] un-redactions!


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I.M. Craptek wrote:

Comrade Craptek, very well said!

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“For those about to ROCK. We Redact You!”

A classic album cover of some early 80's redacted.

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redacted people.jpg

The [Redacted] People

liberty redacted.jpg

statue of [redacted]

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Twenty twenty twenty four hours to go
I wanna be redacted!

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There was an earlier story on this:

Human Rights Group Decries Bigotry in Beheading Video

Human rights group, Human Rights Right This Minute! (HRRTM) has condemned what it calls "inappropriate remarks bordering on racism and bigotry" that came from an English journalist Joe Snuffy as he was beheaded on a recently surfaced Al Qaeda video. The official transcript of the tape attributes to Mr. Snuffy the following statement: "Islam and Mo..." While the rest of the message was censored by Western news agencies out of respect for non-Western religions, human rights watchdogs at HRRTM claim that with the help of hired lip-reading and body-language experts they reconstructed Mr. Snuffy's statement, which appears to contain inflammatory hate speech. "Just as we had suspected all along," says spokesbeing for HRRTM Sarah Fulano.

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This makes me so sorry for Dear Leader Hitler and his hopeful plans for a glorious future. Sob, sob... Anyway, we must press on. There's more work to be done.

Prog Off.png

A good laugh to start the weekend of madness. Thanks.

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Comrade Nookie, standing ovation and applause. At the risk of being denounced I say, MOST equal. (though I will deny having said that).

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Beet of the Week for Nookie! Postpone the sequester!

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Beet of the Week! Beet of the Week! Beet of the Week!

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Now what are we going to do with all those 'Hitler in 2016' balloons?


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Comrades, I thank you all for the support, but really, I didn't build that. My Marxist German professors are fully responsible for my translation skills. Posting it was all in a day's labor for a Made Prog.

But if I can get the My Child is Beet of the Week bumper sticker for my mom, she'd be so proud...

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Red Square wrote:Beet of the Week for Nookie! Postpone the sequester!

Comrade Bernanke has heard our cries for social justice!