While Senator Bernie Sanders is known mostly for his thoughtful and serious policy positions, the self-proclaimed “Democratic Socialist” has another, lessor known side. Though hard for the uninformed to appreciate, Sanders' adoring throngs of “Bernie-Bros” presciently see through his gruff exterior to his softer side; a side filled with compassion and generosity.

The Senator's softer side was clearly revealed in a 1972 interview when the then 31-year-old Sanders was running for governor of Vermont. During the interview, Sanders was asked whether it bothered him that some people referred to him as a communist. Sanders responded,"I don't mind people coming up and calling me a communist. At least, they're still alive. If I minded, they wouldn't be.”

Sanders' generosity, patience and compassion do, however, have their limits. The Sanders campaign knows that compassion alone cannot win a revolution. Compassion must also be accompanied by violence. For example, it is well understood among his campaign staff that if someone annoys the Senator, that person will have their hair set on fire in the street. Disagreeing with him will result in being forcibly sent to a re-education camp. The crime of selfishly owning more houses than Sanders will be remedied either by renouncing ownership or execution. Finally, anyone greedy enough to have more money than him will be guillotined.

The violence, nevertheless, is not to be unfettered. Sanders' compassion could never allow that. Although whole cities must be burned to the ground if Sanders does not get the presidential nomination, a Sanders campaign field organizer did admit that campaign staff have been warned, if possible,

“to avoid some of the excesses of the 1917 Russian revolution.”

We must not let the demoKKKrat party steal the nomination from Dear Comrade Leader Bernie. He is the only one who can lead us to the GWONT!!! UNITE comrades. UNITE FOR BERNIE. Free public re-education for all. And as an added bonus the unemployment rate in the glorious Sander's Shores Gulag and Re-education center is ZERO percent.