[floatleft-nb][img]/red/styles/pc/imageset/Header_Halliburton2.gif[/img]
Please welcome to our pages
$.$. Halliburton, a dark-spirited
reactionary neo-conservative with
a shady pharmaceutical past, tar-
nished by a personal friendship with
Rush Limbaugh himself. Though
his Neanderthal opinions may be a
direct opposite from our enlightened
views, Mr. Halliburton is a proud
addition to our editorial staff, a
symbol of The People Cube's com-
mitment to intellectual diversity.[/floatleft-nb]

Let's Do Imperialism Right

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$.$. Halliburton's simple plan to continue Imperialism apace, strengthen Capitalist class at the expense of the oppressed, ensure its political hegemony, and put a damn pretty penny in each and every one of his bank accounts.

As every right-wing fascist knows, democracy is cumbersome and inefficient. Try to get something accomplished and you find yourself butting heads with every unwashed, uncouth commoner who has no conception of what's good for Class, Empire and the world. Take this Cindy Sheehan phenomenon and the massive, spontaneous anti-Imperialist movement that's taken the country by storm. This anti-war movement threatens all our plans to impose Capitalism and American military domination like a dark Roman night over the rest of the world.

ImageWhen we first invaded Afghanistan and Iraq we imagined we were riding a marvelously giddy wave of ignorance and stupidity on the part of the oppressed masses.


ImageOur own class bigotries and forgetfulness about the lessons of Vietnam led us to believe that crass commercialism had drained the proletatians of all revolutionary fervor and they wouldn't notice.

ImageThe proletatians have noticed! They are not lazy and slothful and drugged-up as we'd foolishly allowed ourselves to believe. Our Imperialist war in Iraq has waked the great beast!

ImageThe proletarians are representing and demonstrating against us and our plans. They may even rise up and in their righteous wrath destroy us as a class. I fear for us.

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Fellow members of the Capitalist class! It's time we take stock of this anti-war domestic crisis. If we are to manipulate Democracy and force our will on world events we must be forthright and honest with ourselves. Let's admit that as a class we've become narrow-minded in our outlook, blind to our own prejudices, projecting our bigotries onto the oppressed classes. We've become so isolated from the world community that we never think outside the box of our own ideology.

My fellow Capitalists! Set aside your prejudices and bigotries against peace-loving socialist blisters on civilization's ass! We must win their hearts, minds, and votes! We must own their socialist Senators in Congress! Historically speaking, Vietnam War and our plans to impose Capitalism and sweatshop freedom throughout Asia and then the world were dashed when the Left rose up and ruined everything for us while we stood by and did nothing. We can't let Iraq turn into another Vietnam; it would be disastrous for our class.

Therefore, I've come up with a simple plan. It's based on history. Back in the 1930's the Left was dead set against war while the Capitalist class desperately longed for it. We wanted to make money off all the closed munitions factories put out of work by peace-loving Socialists. So, in order to rally the Left behind a good big war, capitalists Churchill and Roosevelt hatched a scheme so devious and reactionary that even today it is classified For Capitalist Class Eyes Only.

Not even very many of us know about it. So don't let any of the help see this article. What did Churchill and Roosevelt do, you ask? They knew the West didn't have the political will for an Imperialist war without the Left backing it. So they got together and said: "Let's do Imperialism right! We have to rally peace-loving Socialists behind a war."

The plan was very simple. They had Hitler attack the most peace-loving Socialist country there was: the Soviet Union. Nothing else was needed. The entire Left throughout the world went into raging war frenzy. It was a stroke of brilliance! Literally overnight every peace-loving Socialist turned into a rabid, frothing-at-the-mouth, gun-totin', bomb-dropping, shoot-to-kill, take-no-prisoners, total-war, wave-the-flag-and-pass-the-ammunition World War II buckaroo warmonger. It was a great time to be alive.

My plan uses the same principle. In order to rally the peace-loving working class behind our so called War on Terror and continue to invade and occupy more innocent countries and make more moola, we need to have peace-loving Communist countries get attacked by terrorists. I propose to have a super-secret cadre of military, dressed up as Islamoragheads, launch attacks on prominent communist countries such as Cuba, China and France.

If they were to blow up the Eiffel tower and the Great Hall of Revolution with 9-11-type tactics, the Left would join the war effort in a big way. The great Socialist leaders of our day would force them too! With their help we shall continue Imperialism apace, strengthen our class at the expense of the oppressed, ensure our political dominance over Democracy for decades to come, and put a damn pretty penny in each and every one of our bank accounts. It's a win-win situation!

Let's do Imperialism right!
Wave your flags high! Only in America!

Premier Breshnev
This guy needs to see some therapy in a gulag quick!

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Huh, so we can get pennies put in each and every one of our bank accounts? So do you need my bank account number or something to start adding the cash electronically? Usually the government just adds money to my account electronically, but if you do too, well, O.K.! I might be willing to take this whole capitalist thing into consideration. Does my girlfriend have to shave her legs or armpits as a condition? Do I have to bathe? Do you, by any chance, have a documentary or something we could rally around, because my girlfriend Moonbeam and I are illiterate. Also, do we actually have to harm a frenchman? Because they will surrender the whole country if you just hurt their feelings.

User avatar
Ka-Ching, I've been looking for you! Those past two campaign checks came back with a stop payment. Are you trying to be cruel? You know how much I love you! Must you torture me like that? I know this could be a small oversight on some small peon's part but I promise our love will see the light of day once I'm President, just dont scorn me like this! Together we CAN do Imperialism right! Call me darling, you have my private cell phone number.

Heartsick Hillary



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G. Sorarse
Comrades - Don't mistake me for this filthy running dog capitalist.
Yes - it is true I am filthy stinking rich - with billions of dollars - all of which belong to me me me... however, as you know I put these dollars to socialists uses - such as destroying captialism and giving unemployable life-long college students and other hippies soap and employment. Portesting the likes of the evil exploitators of the mASSes such as $.$. Halliburton is full time work and requires legions of secret shadow organizations - front by the likes such as the Peoples' "B" (I am sorry - the Peoples' she-"C" - as in Clinton).
Also - once I -I mean we the people have destroyed the vile captialists - you will work for the greater good of me - I mean the people.
Our first peoples project will be to build factories for producing bras and soap.
No human will have to go braless and soapless in our utopia!!!
Unite for the greater good (me in charge of everything) and work for bras and soap!!!

Premier Breshnev
G. Sorarse is one of ours. SS halliburton is still a capatilist running mad dog! He needs to go with rupert murdock to the gulag.

Look, I'm beginning to wonder about this whole "enterprise." I am afraid that Halliburton produces and or profits from this "soap". From what I hear, this product "washes clean" the "dirt" from our bodies. People, when will we realize that Mother Earth loves us and wishes to cling to us at times? Why would you wash away your Mother? Let us revel in this Glory and Love our Mother and shun this "soap." It is on the face fascist and seeks the extermination and genocide of our Mother!

Having said that, Mr. $$ Halliburton - when can I expect my first electronic transfer to my bank account? I'm beginning to think that perhaps you are not diverse, tolerant, and possibly racist. Though my skin color may be "white" (and this is an offensive stereotype, it mocks my people and suggests I am not diverse) I am a descendant of Africa ( my tribe existing there a little bit before triangle shaped edifices first appeared in the sand there) and therefore realize that you or some other people owe me some money. You promised me in your original post that we would receive a "pretty penny in each and every one of our bank accounts." When can I expect your first deposit?

Premier Breshnev
Premier Breshnev wrote:This guy needs to see some therapy in a gulag quick!

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Don't worry, our plant Vladimir will get you! Putin, you see, is former KGB. However, once you're KGB, your ALWAYS KGB. And, you see what comarde Putin did to other capitalists? He will do it to you. And then, off to the gulag.

User avatar
Talk about freaks, those pictures are scary. Although I did like the one of the guy shooting Ronald McDonald with the BB gun.

Cheney W. Hallibushton
I make soap out of money, that way even my sack is green after Im done showering.

You ever see a green sack? I bet you havent!

Citizens of Earth!
The color "green" should only be produced by and for our wonderous plant friends that we cohabit the earth with. They are all so magical! It is wrong to steal the green chlorophyll to make green dye for "money", robbing helpless plants of their sole possession. Money should be colored black as it is evil and a crime against nature. We are all one, everyone knows that - we are all stars made of stardust! Why should we have any product which serves to divide us? What good is division? Are the plants divided? Are the other animals? And whether you understand this or not, we are all animals, and we should all blend together as one as all other plants and animals do on this wonderous ball in space. The very thought of "money" makes me cry, in fact, I'm wetting the keyboard of this fascist slave tool "computer" in front of me as I write this and fear an electrical shock of some sort not contemplated by the evil manufacturers of this tool of hate. And I know the mother goddess weeps as well as her children are sadly misguided!

Phish fan
Cheney W. Hallibushton wrote:You ever see a green sack? I bet you havent!

I have a green hacky sack.

User avatar
I have a green hacky sack.

Are you another one of those dorks that plays with his sack during break and lunch? I hate those guys! Especially when their sack fly's past you missing your head by only inches!

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Especially when their sack fly's past you missing your head by only inches!

Careful, Kommissar!! People may get the wrong impression and think you're outting yourself or something...lol

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Okay, okay. I was talking about how those idiots keep kicking their hacky sacks around in the quad, and as you walk by one of them kicks it really hard and nearly hits you with it. Also, I am NOT a f*g

Fawn Rainforest
Kommissar Betty wrote:Okay, okay. I was talking about how those idiots keep kicking their hacky sacks around in the quad, and as you walk by one of them kicks it really hard and nearly hits you with it. Also, I am NOT a f*g
I don't know. You didn't think the Radical Cheerleaders were sexy. I'm one of the Radical Cheerleaders and I know I'm sexy. There must be something wrong with you. What are you some kind of closet reactionary?

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No, it's just that you're ugly. I do not like ugly women.

User avatar
Kommissar Betty wrote:Okay, okay. I was talking about how those idiots keep kicking their hacky sacks around in the quad, and as you walk by one of them kicks it really hard and nearly hits you with it. Also, I am NOT a f*g

just kidding Kommissar :)

User avatar
Fawn Rainforest wrote:
Kommissar Betty wrote:Okay, okay. I was talking about how those idiots keep kicking their hacky sacks around in the quad, and as you walk by one of them kicks it really hard and nearly hits you with it. Also, I am NOT a f*g
I don't know. You didn't think the Radical Cheerleaders were sexy. I'm one of the Radical Cheerleaders and I know I'm sexy. There must be something wrong with you. What are you some kind of closet reactionary?

You are a pig...

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=311

check my post...OINK OINK!!!

Fawn Rainforest
Kommissar Betty wrote:No, it's just that you're ugly. I do not like ugly women.

Yeah, well that's me on the far right, Mr. reactionary.
Eat your bourgeois heart out. You can never be
Red enough for me. Oink! Oink!
<img src=https://www.infoshop.org/octo/p1010066.jpg width=550>

Freak...

-Kommissar Betty

Premier Breshnev
Fawn Rainforest wrote:
Kommissar Betty wrote:No, it's just that you're ugly. I do not like ugly women.

Yeah, well that's me on the far right, Mr. reactionary.
Eat your bourgeois heart out. You can never be
Red enough for me. Oink! Oink!
<img src=https://www.infoshop.org/octo/p1010066.jpg width=550>

Good... they are doing their Party appointed jobs quite well.

Ross Perot
Mr. Halliburton,

There's been Million Man Marches and Million Mom Marches, have you ever considered leading a Million Dollar March?

RP

PS - Sorry I split the vote and helped Clinton win twice. I didn't want to.

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Yeah, well that's me on the far right, Mr. reactionary.
Eat your bourgeois heart out. You can never be Red enough for me. Oink! Oink!

I have pets better looking....

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Ross Perot wrote:Mr. Halliburton,

There's been Million Man Marches and Million Mom Marches, have you ever considered leading a Million Dollar March?

He leads one every time he takes his wallet out of his back pocket! His triple-plantinum, diamond-studded Davenport Bank Card, alone, provides him with an UNLIMITED credit line. He charges a million dollars worth of goods and services at the drop of a hat.

Image PS - My pants do not have back pockets. I do not handle monetary transactions with the common folk. My people do that. I simply point and say: "take that." You egghead intellectuals really don't know how the other half lives, do you?

PMS - I, personally, had to correct your missive for grammatical mistakes. A lot of friggin' good your PhDs in The HyrStory of Misogyny and The Marxist Wymyns Collective Home Economics are, egghead.

User avatar
Of course I realize that your prohibitively expensive, Italian-designed suit pants do not have back pockets, as I have a closet full of my own--you have to look sharp when your social schedule includes hobnobbing with Hollywood celebrities, dining with socialist dignitaries, and attending fundraisers for radical causes. I was merely using a figure of speech that the average proletarian (whom you ruthlessly exploit on a hourly basis) would understand, because, unlike elitist plutocrats like you, I can identify with the poor and dispossessed.

Your edit of my original comments gives us an informative glimpse into your mind. I originally wrote: "He leads one [a million dollar march] every time he puts his wallet in his back pocket." In your "correction," you changed the phrase to read, "every time he takes his wallet out of his back pocket."

Clearly, logic dictates that the act of leading requires a certain positioning of things. To wit: the thing that does the leading (both literally and figuratively) must be located in front of what follows it; or, conversely, the thing that follows must be located behind what leads it. You, however, place the cart before the horse (or, your self-interest before the Greater Good), and, in doing so, reveal an undeniable truth--insofar as truth is subjective and unattainable--about capitalist class enemies like you: You, sir, are undoubtedly led by your metaphorical wallet, your monomaniacal pursuit of money. I'm sure you would sell Margaret if the asking price were to your liking.

Thank you for continuing to live up to your stereotype!

--The People's Egghead

simple serf
Yeah, well that's me on the far right, Mr. reactionary.
Eat your bourgeois heart out. You can never be
Red enough for me. Oink! Oink!
<img src=https://www.geocities.com/radicalcheerl ... _imc_3.jpg width=550>

why do your knees look bruised

User avatar
Probably from being on her knees too long! You can guess what she was doing in that position.

simple serf
looking for her contact lense?? I am but a simple serf..
but i would recommend to her spinnin records, it wont get
her in very much trouble

Fawn Rainforest
Kommissar Betty wrote:Probably from being on her knees too long! You can guess what she was doing in that position.
You and some of the other people here certainly are mean to me. I thought this site was supposed to be a place for Progressive thought and humor. Don't you care about causes and issues?

User avatar
I thought this site was supposed to be a place for Progressive thought and humor.

Hey, I'm laughing...

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I think that Halliburton's idea that we Lefties would sign on to his war if communist countries were attacked by terrorists is flawed. We're never going to be on his side.

The simple truth is that if Al Gore had been elected President back in 2000 and if he'd done exactly the same things as Bush has done such as invading Iraq - then, then! and only then! - just about everyone on the Left would've been behind the war 100 percent. In fact, if Al Gore had done everything exactly as Bush has done he probably would've been awarded a Peace Prize. But Gore's our guy. We're never going to support anything your guy does. Republicans such as Halliburton and Bush are stupid and evil and only divide our country with divisive politics. So $.$. Halliburton, we're never going to back your guy no matter what happens. Kapeash?

And you know what that means $.$.? Hint: Roosevelt was a Lefty.

Chief ExecHalliburton
Hillary wrote:Ka-Ching, I've been looking for you! Those past two campaign checks came back with a stop payment. Are you trying to be cruel? You know how much I love you! Must you torture me like that? I know this could be a small oversight on some small peon's part but I promise our love will see the light of day once I'm President, just dont scorn me like this! Together we CAN do Imperialism right! Call me darling, you have my private cell phone number.

Heartsick Hillary


I'm sorry dear! Oh, let me kiss your feet again! Let me kiss you again! Together we CAN do Imperialism right! Come to me! How I do but miss you so...

Chief ExecHalliburton

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A Fellow Traveller.
Mr. Halliburton, if your plan is to rally the Left to war, as your above column indicates - I have one question: are you and the capitalist class behind the recent Muhamad cartoons in Europe? Is that stage one of some diablolical capitalist plan to rally the Europeons to war?

User avatar
Send to Gulag! His capitalist ideas have failed before, they will fail again, no matter who they put in charge of running it.


 
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