On the heels of James Cameron's discovery of a tomb of Jesus came an announcement by talk radio host Rush Limbaugh that he had discovered a coffin with the remains of another historical character that progressive scientists consider a mythical creature - the Rugged Individual.

While Mr. Cameron's findings are meant to destroy the basic tenets of Christian faith, Mr. Limbaugh's discovery strikes at the very heart of progressive faith that denies the existence of a self-sufficient Individual who can survive without the government handouts, regulations, and oversight.

Limbaugh said Monday that he is in possession of tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence that the Rugged Individual once roamed the fruited plane and was buried several miles away from San Francisco's Mission District, underneath an apartment complex. "He was totally self-sufficient and did not depend on any centralized government," declared Limbaugh, whose claim is being dismissed in progressive circles as nothing more than a publicity stunt.

"Assertion that the so-called Rugged Individual could exist on the West Coast or anywhere else in America - independently of the government, without health insurance, minimum wage regulations, FDA standards, and union protection - is a ridiculous and unscientific invention," says Howard Zinn, Professor Emeritus in the Political Science Department at Boston University. "Everybody knows that Rugged Individuals never lived in that area, and that pioneers who settled in California were all collectivist hippies who lived in communes, received welfare checks, and worshipped the Common Good™."

Limbaugh insists that he is not a revisionist historian; he is only reporting facts. "It's a fact that the Rugged Individual once lived in America and settled the West," the controversial commentator said. "He used to be free and morally upright. He spoke his mind without fear of persecution. He ran his own business the way he saw fit. He raised his own children according to his own values. He owned property that he earned with his own hands, and he used a gun to protect that property from thieves. These are facts. So what I'm saying is, hey, world, pay attention. First let's discuss the facts and then let's see their implications on progressive ideology."

Social scientists are widely and roundly rejecting these claims. Some are dismissing them as a ploy backed by corporations to pervert the truth. "The whole progressive movement has faced this since the day Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto," writes one scholar in a letter to San Francisco Chronicle. "Limbaugh needs to go back to college and take a standard course in political science," writes another scholar. "Our whole philosophy is based on the impossibility of Rugged Individualism. I have no plans to give this discovery any publicity within the walls of my college."

Others compared Limbaugh's findings to the one made by James Cameron in Jerusalem: "At least the discovery of the Christ family bears all marks of scientific proof - the inscriptions of the names that match the bones of Jesus, Mary, their son Judas, and their dog Snowball, which many scientists agree was a common dog name in Judea at the time. In contrast, Limbaugh's alleged finding is a blatant attempt to cash in on a sensationalist bandwagon."

Yet another group of scholars, while not denying the existence of the remains, were quick to search the local archives for documents proving that the cost for Rugged Individual's burial had been subsidized by the government, and that in his early twenties he had received a welfare check for three weeks while being unemployed.

News networks also maintained a level of skepticism. Over on CNN, Lou Dobbs prefaced a segment on the subject by observing, "If these claims are true, and many people doubt they are, that raises questions about the progressive assertion that Rugged Individualism is a capitalist myth and that the only moral way for humans to exist is by abandoning private property, sacrificing personal interests to the Common Good™, and living off kind handouts from the benevolent central government. Personally I like the utopian blueprints better."

The final word in this debate belongs to the former Vice President Al Gore who said, "The main function of the government is to reduce every person's footprint on this planet. So even if the Rugged Individual existed he should've been wiped out anyway, for the sake of saving the planet."

Limbaugh, the swine poster boy for all Capitalist oppressors, is in need of intense reeducation and a copious amount of Vicodin!

Today, we humans are considerably more evolved. As such, Rugged Individuals have long been extinct because the need for their role in a society ended in 1917.

Perhaps Swine Limbaugh and James Cameron can be "taught" to swap Tofu recipes.

--

Unbelievable! Next they will be teaching The Children™ that is was called "Manifest Destiny" instead of the Party approved scientifically and historically documented "Manifest Destruction of Third-World Peoples"! Outrage!! Utter and complete outrage!

No worries, comrades - the Fairness Doctrine will silence this cigar-smoking enemy of progress soon. It is the will of The Party™. Now if you'll excuse me; I have to cash in these Eco-Credits for that new Corvette I've been wanting.

I seen a gravestone north of Dallas that says "mohamad". Smells like an opportunity to raise some cash. For the cause of the revolution, of course. Let me know when it becomes convenient to debunk that cult.

Comrade Red Bubba, this would not happen to be in that Islamic cemetery outside of Denton would it?

From Party Wire Sources:

James Cameron finds tomb of Jesus family, buries career inside.

Scholars and archaeologists were shamed today as the Academy Award winning director and People's Hero corrected prior assumptions about 27 year old Israeli find.

"Not only was Jesus married, the evidence strongly suggests he was also a slave-owning global-warmer," James Cameron said today. "When the experts get it wrong, we with money must get it right. The 'larger truth' demands it."

Skeptics worry that movie makers doing archaeology could lead to an obfuscation of the facts for profit or power - the logical end of which could lead to politicians doing climatology.

Did Rush Limbaugh mention that, in his trek across the plains to California, whether or not he found any tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence of those “rugged individuals”… the Native American Indians? You know… the original native inhabitants of America whose lands were stolen… those forgotten people who were slaughtered by the real American heroes(?), i.e., George Custer, whose “knees” were “wounded” in the process of his Manifest Destiny.

Dear Comrade Bell -

The educational news story above makes perfectly clear that the very existence of "Rugged Individual" is scientifically impossible and is nothing but a ploy by big corporations relayed by the notorious propagandist and class enemy Limbaugh. Why start the debate unless you doubt (or maybe even DENY) the findings of progressive science? Are you a DENIER? Please don't become a tool of bourgeois propaganda, a useful idiot and a puppet in the hands of the man behind the curtain (who is a White Christian Male, no doubt).

As our Green fellow travelers like to say, "The debate is over."

Red Square wrote: As our Green fellow travelers like to say, "The debate is over."

Yes the debate is over. Don't be like this former party member. The tone of the article is correct, but the "factual errors" tend to show that the EGB walks the walk that FLAG (Fearless Leader Al Gore) talks. Unforgivable.

https://www.commondreams.org/views01/0429-03.htm

Comrade Bell,

Are you referring to the Sioux who were killing the Cherokee who were caught up in a centuries old battle with the Apaches who were almost wiped out by the Iroquois who vowed to kill every last Navajo?

If so, I couldn't agree more.

Peace through surveillance,

bohemianlikeyou

Red Square wrote: Why start the debate unless you doubt (or maybe even DENY) the findings of progressive science? Are you a DENIER?

*pops head up from glass of Pravda*

Huh? Wha? Did someone say 'Denier'?

*sniffs*

Methinks I smell a dissident......

FERRETS!! To me! We have a thoughtcriminal in our midsts that needs a good heaping dose of reeducation!!

Ha ha!!

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

bohemianlikeyou wrote:Comrade Bell,

Are you referring to the Sioux who were killing the Cherokee who were caught up in a centuries old battle with the Apaches who were almost wiped out by the Iroquois who vowed to kill every last Navajo?

Comrade bohemianlikeyou,

Native Americans are an oppressed people that were the victims of centuries of genocide inflicted upon them by the bouguois White Christian Males.

Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.

You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.

Now you must pardon me. I must get back to washing my 4WD SUV.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.

You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.

Comrade Blokhayev,

Yes! By "fighting" I meant only that the Native Americans had many spirited non-violent rivalries within the context of peaceful inter-tribal games designed to celebrate the vibrant tapestry of diversity found among the 500 different nations.

(It's from this wonderful tradition that game hacky sack was born, by the way.)


It was the white man who arrested this development with violence, competition, and disease.

In summary, I will wash your 4WD SUV and clean one of your 27,000 Sq. ft. homes if you do not report me.

Peace through shame,

bohemianlikeyou

We could have had Limbaugh. I tried for eight years to get rid of the menace he presents. But my people could never find him in a place where it could have been considered an "accident". Unfortunately, the one day they could have had him cornered, I had to make the decision of whether to go forward with that order, or send those operatives to Sudan to blow up the aspirin factory. Being the pragmatist I am, and wanting to save my Tsardom, I sent my minions to Africa.

If I had only seen how his influence would spread. So many dissidents have sprung up because of his insolence. Hannity, Coulter, Drudge. All these who are inciting the people against the State. If only these people understood what they lost when the Bundesrat denied me my place next to Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, and Clooney when they ixnayed my plans to control, I mean assist the People with my Universal Health Care. Imagine!! Databases filled with all their vital information! Access to their bank accounts, private secrets! Oh the blackmail we could have.....oops. Did I just say that? No!! No I didn't! Because it depends on what you mean by "say"!!

I will find out who is to blame for this. It could not have been me, for nothing that has ever happened around me is my fault. I BLAME BUSH!!!!!!!!!

But some Native Americans did quite well by incorporating Western technological achievements into their culture...

bohemianlikeyou wrote:Comrade Bell,

Native Americans are an oppressed people that were the victims of centuries of genocide inflicted upon them by the bouguois White Christian Males.

Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.

You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.

Now you must pardon me. I must get back to washing my 4WD SUV.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

At last,

Some like minded komrades with whom to share my political experience from down under. Australia was the land of peace-loving Aborigine communities before we destroyed it with Imperialist Colonial Invasion bringing our western diseases, and stealing all of their children, using the excuse of "we found them on the side of the road and assumed nobody wanted them".

Thanks to my revitalised Greens Party, and the occasional help from Germaine Greer, we have re-kindled the rugged Aussie's lost quest for new levels of self-loathing. You can see some of my achievements here

As we all know, the Kristian movement, who has oppressed womyn in ways that would make our Aussie Muslim Comrades squirm, has finally succumbed to the reality of revisionist history. Our beloved intelligentsia were most recently lead by the great Dan Brown (pbuh-no relation), in proving that an old, overdone, systematically de-bunked "controversial theory which will rock Christianity to it's very core" can be repackaged and sold again. And again.

It's like going to the Alzheimer's ward in an old folks home and charging $50 every night to tell them the same story.

Providing, of course, that the wealth is re-distributed.

Excuse me, I must go now and lead the charge against kapitalist Prime Mover Jon Howitzer and make him stop calling the oppressed freedom fighters Hamas a "terrorist organisation"

-Beezelbob Brown

Comrade B. Brown -

Australian comrades have collaborated with our group in the past very successfully. May I interest you in the following links? You might find familiar faces...

https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=110

https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=164

Red Square wrote:Comrade B. Brown -

Australian comrades have collaborated with our group in the past very successfully. May I interest you in the following links? You might find familiar faces...

https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=110

https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=164

Ah yes, Komrade Redsquare. Although the kaption of the picture is incorrect. Our brothers were actually planning an inquisition to root out global warming heretics. Such as this guy

The ill-fated Latham exercise. His shining light was extinguished all too soon. His superb Marxist ideology packaged in a PR-friendly Aussie-blokey outer shell to appeal to the blessed working class. He would use colloqial language to communicate on the level of the masses, such as "bugger" and "bloody" and of course, occasionally using the name of Jesus (the first Palestinian Suicide Bomber). In the fiercely secular nayshun of stray-ya this is pure political gold.

Although Latham has departed, he left us with a magnificent legacy- Peter Garret. As we at The Party know, creative arts people make such informed politicians. His planet-worshipping paganism leaves something to be desired, but he does have an incredible knack for white-guilt tripping.

Comrade Beezelbob Brown, the article from the Herald Sun which you link to [this guy] is nothing but flimflammery. I am sick and tired of these people that think free speech means they can question scientific consensus. For the sake of civilization they need to be jailed.

It wasn't for nothing that Galileo was imprisoned. He went against all consensus. Even though the Revolution begins anew each day and there is nothing to learn from history we can learn by studious example.

bohemianlikeyou wrote:
In summary, I will wash your 4WD SUV and clean one of your 27,000 Sq. ft. homes if you do not report me.

Peace through shame,

bohemianlikeyou

Comrade bohemianlikeyou,

Please! Ms. Comrade Blokhayeva and I are simple people dedicated to our glorious revolutionary cause. None of my homes are over 15,000 Sq. Ft. The largest is only 14,250 Sq. Ft.

Report immediately to Ms. Comrade Blokhayeva for your duty assignments. I can tell you now, she wants her Hummer H1 washed and vacuumed. Complete the tasks she has for you satisfactorily, and I shall not bring you before a People's Revolutionary Tribunal nor shall I inform the Politburo of your transgression against the oppressed aborigine peoples of the world.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Another story proving that the Rugged Individualist independent of the caring Nanny State is a myth, at least in today's world.

https://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stor ... 08317.html

People continued to live in FEMA trailers amidst stinking raw sewage and frequent power outages until it was already absolutely clear to everyone in that trailer park that the Nanny State is incapable of all that promised care, love, and cuddling. And even then they were reluctant to evacuate. The social experiment has been completed successfully. THE DEBATE IS OVER.

People can't do anything on their own without the State. Never have, never will.

People can't do anything on their own without the State. Never have, never will.

Sometimes, however, they manage to complain on their own, but usually it involves protest signs paid for by the state.

Newsflash! Pravda reports that counter-revolutionary capitalist roader Scooter Libby has been found guilty on four of five counts of lying to the KGB under oath. The Stakhanovites who found him not guilty on that fifth count will of course be sent to the re-education camps to contemplate the error of their ways. Praise Stalin, it is a great day for justice!

Handi-capable Party members everywhere weep as one of our most useful modes of transportation becomes politically incorrect, and we must look forward to taking our tricycles out of storage, with their silly baskets, little vinyl flags on thin plastic poles and personalized miniature licence plates with stupid things written on them (or our names - even worse - as if we have to announce who we are, or perhaps, in case we get lost and forget it ourselves), not to mention the Harpo bicycle horn and vinyl handle-bar cover tassles... There's just no dignity left for the disabled any more...

... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...

... I'm sorry... really... what I should have written is, "Toast is burning."...

Toast is burning,
SMO

A rugged individual is someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about Anna Nicole Smith and who has never watched <i>American Idol</i>.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Handi-capable Party members everywhere weep as one of our most useful modes of transportation becomes politically incorrect, and we must look forward to taking our tricycles out of storage, with their silly baskets, little vinyl flags on thin plastic poles and personalized miniature licence plates with stupid things written on them (or our names - even worse - as if we have to announce who we are, or perhaps, in case we get lost and forget it ourselves), not to mention the Harpo bicycle horn and vinyl handle-bar cover tassles... There's just no dignity left for the disabled any more...

... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...

SMO! What you are suggesting is crazy! I can't ride on a tricycle! And you expect the dear Chairman to give up his limo? We can't cut off the car just yet! Not when my robotics department is so close to making cars drive themselves (as well as go faster, change their own color, and call your boss for you to tell him you are late -- if you have not been watching the peoples discovery channel, you need some re-edukkaction again.)
With her Majesty the Wraith Queen taking her thrown in 2008, cars responsibility with global warming will be over with the advent of magic pixie juice.

RedtheProgressiveHedgehog wrote:

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Handi-capable Party members everywhere weep as one of our most useful modes of transportation becomes politically incorrect, and we must look forward to taking our tricycles out of storage, with their silly baskets, little vinyl flags on thin plastic poles and personalized miniature licence plates with stupid things written on them (or our names - even worse - as if we have to announce who we are, or perhaps, in case we get lost and forget it ourselves), not to mention the Harpo bicycle horn and vinyl handle-bar cover tassles... There's just no dignity left for the disabled any more...

... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...

SMO! What you are suggesting is crazy! I can't ride on a tricycle! And you expect the dear Chairman to give up his limo? We can't cut off the car just yet! Not when my robotics department is so close to making cars drive themselves (as well as go faster, change their own color, and call your boss for you to tell him you are late -- if you have not been watching the peoples discovery channel, you need some re-edukkaction again.)
With her Majesty the Wraith Queen taking her thrown in 2008, cars responsibility with global warming will be over with the advent of magic pixie juice.

Oh for goodness sake Hedgehog... SMO is handi-capable herself... Get with the programme! No... I mean literally... there is a programme in every nightstand describing each of us... as you can see, I'm a cripple... you think I want to give up my scooter?

The only realistic solution I can think of is Segueways... with seats... and wet bars...

Blue Bell wrote:Did Rush Limbaugh mention that, in his trek across the plains to California, whether or not he found any tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence of those “rugged individuals”… the Native American Indians? You know… the original native inhabitants of America whose lands were stolen… those forgotten people who were slaughtered by the real American heroes(?), i.e., George Custer, whose “knees” were “wounded” in the process of his Manifest Destiny.

Ah, yes, those hearty Siberians who marched down the coast, savagely eliminating all the people who'd been there before!

Sister Massively Opiated wrote: Oh for goodness sake Hedgehog... SMO is handi-capable herself... Get with the programme! No... I mean literally... there is a programme in every nightstand describing each of us... as you can see, I'm a cripple... you think I want to give up my scooter?

The only realistic solution I can think of is Segueways... with seats... and wet bars...

Segways!? All the sudden the phrase "White and Nerdy" comes to mind (execpt that I am the color red). I understand your desire for eleminating the carbon footprint that will result in the end of the world in the next 6 months, and how we all need to shave our heads, sit in sackcloth, and throw ashes on ourselves, greived for building the most advanced society on earth. But some of us need to keep up our image for the party. Me looking cool in my corvette will inspire others to join the revolution. But not to worry, I shall take my car to a certified Peoples Mechanic, and get the engine overhauled so that it can run on Magic Pixie Juice.

RedtheProgressiveHedgehog wrote:Segways!? All the sudden the phrase "White and Nerdy" comes to mind (execpt that I am the color red). I understand your desire for eleminating the carbon footprint that will result in the end of the world in the next 6 months, and how we all need to shave our heads, sit in sackcloth, and throw ashes on ourselves, greived for building the most advanced society on earth. But some of us need to keep up our image for the party. Me looking cool in my corvette will inspire others to join the revolution. But not to worry, I shall take my car to a certified Peoples Mechanic, and get the engine overhauled so that it can run on Magic Pixie Juice.

Comrade Pointy Rodent,

I realize that we are not well acquainted, but perhaps you have never seen my picture. Red is frightened by it for some reason... the teeth I think... but as you can see, I am neither white nor nerdy.

<img src="https://www.cargo-cult.com/pictures/dolphin.jpg" width="450" height="278">
"Say Herring!"

BTW - I have seen fotos of cute little Pointy Rodent Offspring. They are quite lovely. The Party Increases!

Congratulations!
SMO

Actually the phrase "white and nerdy" was referring to the peoples artist Weird Al. A singer for the younger generations that made a very progressive video about how un-cool it is to be a white middle class male. The white middle class male was riding around on the Segway in the video.

I see what you mean, your face is that of a powerful warrior, and teeth of a might weapon. <sigh>Ok, I tell you what. I will ride my bike when I make little errands, if it is for the party then so it be.

So you noticed my children, yes -- they are precious, already talking about how they are going to appeal to their public edukkation director on taxing the richer kid's lunch money so that the whole school can have caviar. Sadly though, the greatest threat to them is their other parental unit. My wife/partner unit/robot was programmed too much like a female hedgehog so that at times of stress she starts to want to eat the children (and human men complain about their union partners!) She/It is currently at another residence at tax payers' expense.

RedtheProgressiveHedgehog wrote:Sadly though, the greatest threat to them is their other parental unit. My wife/partner unit/robot was programmed too much like a female hedgehog so that at times of stress she starts to want to eat the children (and human men complain about their union partners!) She/It is currently at another residence at tax payers' expense.

Not to worry, RPH. This too shall pass and she will be returned to you, re-edukated and in proper frame of mind to care for the future Party members. At least you are not Tom Cruise-like and realize that post-partum issues must be handled appropriately instead of ignored, or worse, going on Oprah and jumping around like a moron. The Party cares for all, and in the mean time, your children have caviar at the expense of the Kulaks!

NO ONE IS TAKING MY LIMO AWAY FROM ME, OR MY JET, OR MY YACHT, OR MY PROLE-POWERED CARRIAGE, OR MY STRETCH OIL REFINING HUMMER (Gift from Ka-Ching).

My Eco-Credits, which is in the trillions mind you, will cover the cost of whatever rainforest I destroy while tooling around in The People's Toys (which I keep for them to protect from Imperialist warmongering hordes). I simply cannot live without my People comforts!!

Honorable Chairman, you don't have to live without your creature comforts and don't even need to confront the world. Merely do like Algore, one of the Pod People, whom the Brits say talks like he has a stick up his arse, and have three houses and as many SUVs as you want, and when questioned about the hypocrisy, say that you're buying carbon credits.

Which is a wonderful gimmick, there being no such thing and no market for them.

Oh. I get it. Algore really is a progressive. He is paying people to pee on and put out the wood-burning fires of primitive people so that they won't emit carbon dioxide and he can ride in his Cadillac. And if they're cold and hungry, they to get warm they'll make more cold and hungry, and malnourished, little primitives, who will need to have someone to watch over them, and Algore is the one for that.

Poverty is power!
Pollution is power!

I expect that Comrade V. I. Lenin is rolling in his grave, wherever it now is that he's been disconnected from his formaldehyde, with envy, knowing that all the useful idiots he talked about are sitting in front of the cameras in every news room and all the news bureaux in the world, talking to Algore with a straight face.

Is it possible that they are stupid enough to think that he'll really let them in on the action? Are they so pathetic that they'll take the crumbs? Or are they so stupid that they are deceived by him? Or so mean?

Doesn't bear thinking about, does it?

Ah. That Haydn piano trio is nice.

Don't be silly, Commissar Theocritus - there is indeed a market for "Carbon Credits". And for the life of the DNC I am kicking myself in the ass for not thinking of this scam.

I can see it now, the hapless multitudes of progressive peoples lining the streets to trade hard currency for these imaginary credits and then running to friends, family, co-workers and ex-sexual partners to prove their Moral Superiority™. Ugh, sheer brilliance! I tip my Ushanka to the useful-idiot who came up with that idea.

Henceforth, let it be known to The People™ that Good Party Standing will be deemed by how many Cubits™ you purchase from The People's Cube... which in turn will save the environment, end the Bushler Regime. foster world peace, undermine AmeriKKKa and of course return the Holy Land back to its rightful owners... the Philistines... errr... I mean the Palestinians.

Comrades! Trade in those decadent dollars for Cubits™, save the world and end your purchasing power forever! Do it for the children... they need your help... and their is a lot of 'em, so pony up the ca$h!

Honorable Chairman, I did not elaborate. I meant a market in the sense of stock market. But your idea fascinates me. We could set up a new Wall Street with a Big Board, all computerized, for marketing carbon credits. We could get SMO's tin-foil hat involved too, and also market droppings from Laika, as he flies overhead.

Yes. Start with cubits. And after they become inflated, we'll have new cubits. Then we'll have cubits extreme. And we can have eco-cubits, where people take environmental ecotourism. (Did you hear of the people who, trekking in Australia, were so superior that they bagged their waste and packed it out? They contracted a disease, fatal to the organs if not treated by modern antibiotics, from drinking water with pee in it. I nearly soiled my pants and freshets of schadenfreude wet the cats, displeasing Calvin and Hobbes mightily.)

And here's an idea. You can trade in Magic Pixie Juice, denominated in Cubits.

But why stop there? We can have fur credits, too. For not buying leather shoes or belts, you can buy your wife a mink stole. You can force peasants to wear plastic knock-off Nikes made in Bangladesh and ropes for belts and Tipper can have a chinchilla!

Or what about work credits? We can set up a market whereby you buy the useful work of others so you don't have to. In other times it would be called slavery but in these progressive times, it's called Social Responsibility, which means of course getting people less fortunate than you to be responsibile for you so you can tell them how lucky they are to have you to look after them, and not quite so much tonic in the Bombay Sapphire, or I'll have you back on the plantation where you deserve.

You don't know how difficult it is to get good slaves these days, and where in the hell is that overseer with the whip? Is he still sulking because I made him execute his mother because she looked at me funny?

Well, there's always another overseer with a whip, and Harvard turns them out by the dozen.

Of course the Cubits will be tiny red cubes with razor sharp edges that proles will be forced to wear in their potato sack pockets (razor sharp edges will deter the greed for the new People's currency, thus fostering Progressive Living Conditions... known as extreme poverty in some quarters.) Yes, it will take two barrels of Cubits to buy a loaf of bread, roughly one million to buy a ditch and nearly a kabillionjillion to buy a belt for their potato sack garments (belt made from dried seaweed of course) Hmmm.... we might be onto something here. I mean really, its to stop the spread of decadence, war, Global Warming™, and whatever else we can fabricate. So... why not? Why not develope a progressive monetary unit in order to advance the selflessness of The Common Good™!!??!?

CUBITS, NOW! LET THE PEOPLE EAT CAKE (it takes roughly a trillion cubits to purchase a sliver of midly molded cake).

Do you think it wise to have razor-sharp edges in the proles' clothing if the clothing is flimsy enough to be made of potato sacking? One of them might out and do damage to the reproductive organs of one of the proles, and since I intend to work mine to death as soon as their offspring are weaned, I wouln't want any of them fixed, thereby by depriving me of future generations of slaves.

I think that I'll set up a stud service for hearty slave bucks. Of course of low intelligence and no imagination. Never hugged while an infant and therefore psychopathic and unable to form human bonds. High sperm count a must, and with daily injections of testerone. The rage is not important--what if he beats some of the women as long as they are not breeders? For this we'll keep around a few women past menopause.

And the studs won't be pretty either, covered with pustules and bald, but they'll be perpetually tumescent, and the testerosterone rage will occasion duels to the death, each one leading by his little soldier. The winner gets to cover the prole women.

Who shall be chosen by their wide pelvises for the bearing of children. Note that I said wide pelvis and not fat ass, which leaves out Our Many Titted Empress, who will, however, be reclining on a chaise longue being fanned by neutered Republikans and fed the deep-fried testicles of those boys who are large but with low sperm count and whom we'll work to death by 25.

Damn. I need better layers of Mexican tile in my pool cabanas. Julio!

I don't know, Theocritus. I do personally recall my prole beast - who is affectionately named Hena: Warrior Lesbian - cracking the skull of your much treasured Spartacus. Tis a shame really, you did have high hopes for Spartacus... that was until Hena ripped his head off and took his flannel shirt as a prize and a fitting garment for her "mating" rituals. Why, just the other day Hena happened to slay 20 of the men folk villagers in an attempt to pilfer their wives... of course I had her hosed down with a power washer to subdue her anger. She in turn resorted to throwing excrement in protest... disgusting... yet... progressive, yes?

Ahh, I do miss the Feats of Prole that the Party used to host... proles from every plantation coming together to compete in bloody death matches for simple things like food, water or the occassional lyfe-partner. I remember when we had the proles hopped up on laxatives and were forced to kill each other for access to a ditch to "relieve" themselves. Ahh yes, fond memories... that was when I was married to my first wife... the one that didn't kill herself... no, I think she did kill herself... or was she the one who ran off to the Gulag... hmmm, I'm drawing a blank here, it was one of my ex-wives. Anywho, maybe Her Excellency will bring back the games so that our proles may battle again... this time for Carbon Credits and Cubits (which they will need if they want to ever see their families again!)

Chairman, I well recall the henous crime. (Sorry. It came out despite sitting on my hands, doing my best Justice impersonation.) But Hena was a dupe for in fact I had a warehouse of flannel what we were all done with and needed to move, and that's why every dyke comes with a closet full of flannel. And to frank, I am not gay but such a ravening heterosexual that Bill Clinton sends me father's day card of frank admiration, signed o||o and you can imagine what that stands for. Although to be fair, poor Bill is slighting me for the lines need to be in a larger type for me. He just can't get over the <i>Penthouse</i> article in which Gennifer Flowers said, "Bill Clinton has a small penis and his wife has fat ankles and they'll just have to get over each others' imperfections." Poor dim Gennifer, to think that was any but a dynastic marriage, ordained in the Necronomicon, with Lucifer the presiding officer.

The reason that I masquerade as one of those silly queers is to become a babe magnet. Oh, I know I can have all of the proles that I want but on my plantation my breeding has been so successful that they can arouse the interest of farm equipment and other proles. Breeding is technically possible but the A/V aids are horrible. So to overcome that I masquerade as a flaming queen, hoping to be "saved" by other people, for as is well known, homosexuality is not innate but a choice and a moral perversion. Ask Ralph Reed, and he will tell you that, in the interstices of time when he's not trying to control every aspect of your life.

So I hope to be saved from myself. But the problem is presenting an accurate persona. I really have no sense of color, for indigo, mulberry, and puce are all purple to me, and I have on that account established a special pink quarter on my plantation which I use for gay advice. But as is well known, they do not breed (except lawyers), and so I have to recruit them.

Ah, the difficulties in maintaining a progressive life style.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:NO ONE IS TAKING MY LIMO AWAY FROM ME, OR MY JET, OR MY YACHT, OR MY PROLE-POWERED CARRIAGE, OR MY STRETCH OIL REFINING HUMMER (Gift from Ka-Ching).

My Eco-Credits, which is in the trillions mind you, will cover the cost of whatever rainforest I destroy while tooling around in The People's Toys (which I keep for them to protect from Imperialist warmongering hordes). I simply cannot live without my People comforts!!

Oh for F**k's Sake... does no one read anything? Nobody's talking about taking away Limo's or other combustion engine vehicles... the only concern was that now that Scooter was convicted, it would be politically incorrect to use our scooters any more... the freaking discussion was only about scooters... not things with engines that use petroleum... and when has any of these rules ever applied to you anyway, Meow?

It's like having a game of broken telephone... I swear the Politburo is like a bunch of yentas and babas passing on mis-shapen gossip... all it took was for one pointy kommissar to misread a post and we're off to the freaking races... this is silly...

Chairman... if you're going to listen to your stereo turned up so loud to the point that it deafens you, then you're going to have to read things more carefully.

S-C-O-O-T-E-R-S.... the discussion only referred to S-C-O-O-T-E-R-S... and then, only how we might replace them if necessary...

... so much wasted energy and angst... this is just like the stupid "winches" discussion... Gaaah!!!

Winches!? Now you're going to take away my winches?! Oh for the love of Central Planning - not the winches (and the wenches)! Ugh... where is Paris Hilton!? What have you done with her, you monsters!

I'm sorry, SMO; I'm a little giddy since the Bushler is being screamed down by our Red Comrades South of the border... you know, the unwashed intellectual spanish speaking proletariat... the ones who have seen the progress being made in Cuba and who are enlightened enough to share the same fate (best healthcare in the world!). Hmmm... scooters... hmmm... how about Prolepeds? Yeah, we just rename them Hybrid Prolepeds. Problem solved, I will be expecting a check in the mail for my services.

An alternative solution had been proposed in one of the first Truth declarations on the Cube:

The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=5

You can't be serious!? How in the blue-dog hell am I going to fit my fat ass in a shopping cart!? HOW!? Their is enough lard in my red hiney to feed that poor put upon victim... awwaaaahhhh... he is sleeping so peacefully... almost like he died or something. Hmm... he needs entitlements, now! Quickly, fetch me Rangel the Angel. The Tax Man cometh to ease this proles suffering... San-Franny style!

(Lupe, go to Sams Club and buy me one of those big shopping carts for my ass. I wish to be transported like the proles to feel their pain. Also make sure it is made of gold and encrusted in precious stones.)

Red Square wrote:An alternative solution had been proposed in one of the first Truth declarations on the Cube:
The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit
https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=5

Genius Red!

We chain a whack of them together and have them pulled by Young Kosmo Pioneers... Meow in one, waving to the crowd (with appropriate umbrella and fanners), and Dr. P in the next, monitoring his well-being... it's a brilliant way to make them seem more 'accessible' to the youngsters...

... and barring the use of Young Kosmo Pioneers, we could always hook it up to some winches <snicker>... sorry... too much cough syrup... <cough cough hack>...