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Obama To Learn From Mistakes, Not Blame Others, Be Better

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TPC Current Truth in the news

Podunk, Ohio - On the campaign trail with President Obama

Facing new polls that show his popularity evaporating to virtually nothing, especially among women, President Obama hopes America will bet on a whole new Barack Obama.

"I know I've been bad," announced the President at his latest campaign stop. "I know I've lied. I've been very dismissive of your wants and needs. I've blamed everyone but myself for my own failings.

"I know I've hurt you, America.

"But I've been going through a lot of soul-searching lately. I know I can be better. I want to be good. Like they say, admitting your failings is the beginning of getting better.

"This is my promise to you, America: I'm going to be a whole new president. I'm turning over a new leaf!

"From now on I'll be better. I won't be the same President you think I am. I'll get really, really serious about my faults. Because we're good together and I don't want to lose you. Please don't give up on me.

"This terrible ordeal we've been going through has affected our relationship. It has been a painful learning experience for me. And that's why...

"I'm turning over a new leaf! I'm turning over a new leaf! I'm turning over a new leaf! Chant with me! I'm turning over a new leaf!"

The Obama campaign hopes his new strategy will work this time. But if it bombs out like all the others, they have a new strategy and slogan already in the works for next week's campaign.


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In the meantime, best not to eat with Dear Leader if you're over 55 *cough* death panels *cough*.

Just sayin'.

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Gosh, Obama sounds like Stuart Smalley after a night with his Choom gang.

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Illustration added.

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Obama: "I know I've hurt you, America. But I promise it won't happen again. I'm turning over a new leaf."

Don't trust a repeat abuser!

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Is this code for starting a new Nissan Leaf all electric car?

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Now I know why I love Obama so much and will always give him another chance. He talks just like all my boyfriends!

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He's such a brilliant, eloquent speaker.. Forgiveness is a given! Besides I know soon he will repair our country!

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Obama's gifted exploits explain teen pregnancy.
The Usurper's presidency must be construed as rape.
Somehow ... these are qualities liberal women love.

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Our misogynist in chief, battering Miss Liberty into submission. Well, this week his strategy is to gamble her away ala Honeymoon in Vegas:

Gambling with America

Oh, it's actualy Betting on America. Same difference. Sick gambling addicts always rationalize gambling. He's gambled with our money and our future, lost big time, and now wants us to bet on him. Bet on America with gambler Obama. Sick, sick, sick. Gamblers. I do not like or believe in gambling. He needs to go to rehab. At his own expense.

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"I'm turning over a new leaf! I'm selling us to Canada."

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If I may recycle this most korrekt graphic!

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obama shirt.jpg
A Wallmart shopper wears a shirt conveying this thread's sentiment.


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Red Square wrote:This one badly needs a caption.

Obama_Drinks_Bear.jpg
"I know nothing about making a buck but America acted stupidly."


"If that camera wasn't here I'd be havin' a 40 malt instead of this yuppy shit."

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Holy Sh!t! Barack Obama IS my Ex-Husband!

Just divorce him after 3 years. I did...

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Image "Look at him. Does his pinkie always look like that? I bet he eats a hot dog with a fork. I bet his wife sews up the flap of his boxers.

HOLY SHIT! It's BRUNO WITH THE WIG AND THE MULES!"


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Androgynov, first, welcome to the Cube. I've not seen you before. I am Father Prog Theocritus, the Keeper of the Sacred Hammer and Sickle. I am the enforcer of liberal platitudes, progressive dogma, and Keeper of the Keys to the Gulag. If something nasty happened and no one can be blamed for it, you may be sure that I did it.

However, I must take issue with your caption. We have heard that Our Many Titted Empress kept Bill's junk in her own testicular lock box, and I mean a wooden one. One that was made of a dead tree. Wooden. Get it?

Personally President Barack Hussein Kardashian's junk is really quite useless. There will be no more additions to the Obama family because for all the years with Nanski Peloski's hand up President Oblameo's ass, her talons have clawed off his junk.

He needs no mistress. All he needs is a progressive hand up his ass. All the way to the shoulder.

That way he doesn't need the TelePrompTer.

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Father Prog,
I have been a member of the kollektive since 1/2009, but post only when I'm allowed. Last post was the progressive guilt quiz.

I beg your pardon for the caption, but he is known in certain circles to be enslaved by Moochell who has generously relenquished control to political progressive masters so he can play prezident. The Ones junk indeed is useless but it is still the exclusive property of the Evil Empress of Vacations who must be obeyed.

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Slap that bitch Amerika for keeping a poorly stocked kitchen! Slap that bitch Amerika for wearing shoes in the kitchen! Slap that bitch Amerika for buying white bread! Slap that bitch Amerika for getting herself pregnant, again! Slap that bitch Amerika for refusing to go on a 1am beer run for you and your progressive friends! Slap that bitch Amerika for spilling bleach on your brown shirt! Slap that bitch Amerika twice for watching Fox News! Slap that bitch America thrice for wanting to balance the household budget!

Now, take her to the gov-subed ER and claim that she accidentally fell down the stairs for the fourteenth time.

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I'm sorry, Androgynov; I had not run across you. Or who knows? Maybe we were partners in the past but I don't remember because of a particularly good Jiffy-Lobo™ treatment. Once I nearly thought that Dear Oleader is a half-witted, vicious, precious, jumped-up-parlor pink. And a fool, and a footpad, and a tool of the biggest bunch of tools since Lenin took the train.

Then I had to get a very vigorous Jiffy-Lobo job.

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Palimpsest, why even take her to the doctor? Call the cops and tell the cops that AmeriKa beat up on you. That's how we pay taxes, isn't? If the upper 0.2% pay 20% of the taxes, and are told they're not doing "their fair share," isn't that the same thing?

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Now I know why I love Obama so much and will always give him another chance. He talks just like all my boyfriends!

Indeed!

As long as she has "hope" that she can somehow "change" him, she will continue the cycle....

If that does not keep her under his thumb, Dear Reader (AP&PBUH) may find Rohipnol useful for one last go around.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote:Slap that bitch Amerika for keeping a poorly stocked kitchen! Slap that bitch Amerika for wearing shoes in the kitchen! Slap that bitch Amerika for buying white bread! Slap that bitch Amerika for getting herself pregnant, again! Slap that bitch Amerika for refusing to go on a 1am beer run for you and your progressive friends! Slap that bitch Amerika for spilling bleach on your brown shirt! Slap that bitch Amerika twice for watching Fox News! Slap that bitch America thrice for wanting to balance the household budget!

Now, take her to the gov-subed ER and claim that she accidentally fell down the stairs for the fourteenth time.

Rather.... take here to the Affordable Healthcare Clinic and tell the staff some "RICH GUY" pulled up in a limo, snuck into the kitchen, beat her silly, and stole all the food, drank all your beer, stripped her of her shoes, raped her and made her pregnant...and spilt bleach on your brown shirt as he escape though the laundry room window.

When she awakes from the coma... repeat the story to her and promise you'll hunt that rich bastard down and make him PAY!!!

Oh... And DO NOT forget to beseech her to stand by her man since that same greedy rich bastard is trying to lay you off!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
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Holy!.... Is that Latitia?... er, I mean Julia???

That $#@%* (AP&PBUH) is cutting into MY ACTION!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Comrade Lysenko wrote: Image A Wallmart shopper wears a shirt conveying this thread's sentiment.

Yes, well this one is overdue for her post-natal contraceptive procedure!

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Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:Rather.... take here to the Affordable Healthcare Clinic and tell the staff some "RICH GUY" pulled up in a limo, snuck into the kitchen, beat her silly, and stole all the food, drank all your beer, stripped her of her shoes, raped her and made her pregnant...and spilt bleach on your brown shirt as he escape though the laundry room window.
We've got the lineup. Take your pick.

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Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:Rather.... take here to the Affordable Healthcare Clinic and tell the staff some "RICH GUY" pulled up in a limo, snuck into the kitchen, beat her silly, and stole all the food, drank all your beer, stripped her of her shoes, raped her and made her pregnant...and spilt bleach on your brown shirt as he escape though the laundry room window.

When she awakes from the coma... repeat the story to her and promise you'll hunt that rich bastard down and make him PAY!!!

Oh... And DO NOT forget to beseech her to stand by her man since that same greedy rich bastard is trying to lay you off!
Damn Goldstein, that's freakin' diabolical (and, of course, I use the word "diabolical" in its most secular sense). I have to admit that I'm starting to like your style. Cheers, Dr. P

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Send her to the fields for self-criticism and correction by our helpful and well-armed staff of youngsters.

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Today this illustration appeared in the American Thinker editorial cartoons. They used many of our graphics before, but now it's been four days of non-stop People's Cube!

https://www.americanthinker.com/cartoon ... be_15.html


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Congratulations Comrade Square! Soon your adequacy will be recognized!

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Comrade_Androgynov wrote:Congratulations Comrade Square! Soon your adequacy will be recognized!

Yeah? Well without roads and bridges, without the government, without the internet, without everyone else, it wouldn't have happened.

Red Square didn't do anything.

"You didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen."

Lol!!!

Stew in the pot of the most mediocre unaccomplished man to hold the office of president you damn commies.

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I don't know about you, but I am taking President Kardashian at his word. I may have this business but I don't deserve it. The bums on the spit-and-whittle corner do. After all, I work for them, don't I? And they vote.

$$, the reason that President Kardashian has closed down manned space flight and has bowed to say the King of Saudi Arabia is because he knows that AmeriKKKa is a flawed nation. We exist because of the theft that we commitment. Our achievements are nothing compared to the theft. Our Civil War means nothing. Because of the theft.

Also anything like manned space flight is an achievement. Dear Oleader can't have a real achievement mock him by its existence. So NASA must go; the USA must go.

Indeed everything bigger than he is must go.

Yikes. Hide the cat.


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FPT wrote:Also anything like manned space flight is an achievement. Dear Oleader can't have a real achievement mock him by its existence. So NASA must go; the USA must go.

Not only am I looking forward to pissing on his grave I want to put the bust of Winston Churchill right next to it.

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$$, after Dear Oleader has shuffled off this mortal coil and gone to reign on Olympus, which will have been moved either to the south of Moscow or the east of Berkeley, we have plans to cremate him in the presidential desk. Which as you know is made of the timbers of a noble British warship.

It's going to be his coffin for he's developed such an attachment for it from all these years of putting his feet on it.

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Father Prog Theocritus wrote:$$, after Dear Oleader has shuffled off this mortal coil and gone to reign on Olympus, which will have been moved either to the south of Moscow or the east of Berkeley, we have plans to cremate him in the presidential desk. Which as you know is made of the timbers of a noble British warship.

It's going to be his coffin for he's developed such an attachment for it from all these years of putting his feet on it.


Dear Comrade Theocritus:

Dear Oleader, has worked very hard for us, just look he has the price of Gas so high, that us Made Progs no longer have to wait in traffic. The Proles are now packed on to Stinking Buses and we can drive by this and laugh.

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Personally I think that proles ought to walk everywhere. That way we know where they are. Also it keeps them home. In imperial Russia, the peasants went along with the land; they were just chattel which could use a hoe, and, er, die in misery. Which is what people who are not Enlightened are good for.

The only occasion when proles don't walk is when we put them on a bus and take them to a polling place. And they vote. Then we take them to another polling place. They vote, and so on and so on. Mark Morial, the ex-mayor of Nawlins, showed us how to do that.

So, unless there is cheatin' to be done, proles walk.

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So the Old lady won't give you none eh? I can understand that, I'm not getting any either from my old lady.
Here's to Collectivism.

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Pravda, buried in the Affordable Health Care Act, which is named on the same reasoning that the Soviet Union always had peace initiatives while building up the military, are other powers for the Death Panel. They can also regulate drinking (cirrhosis), food (obesity), and sex (STDs). Of course we shall then regulate sex not to prevent it but to breed strong proles, just like the Hitlerjugend.

These will be Obamajugend.

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Affordable is prog speak for unaffordable. It only takes understanding. Or submission to the collective.
Ah to the fruit of youth. Surely the young know the true way. After all it's been pounded into their heads by the prog teachers embedded on the education system. Clever that eh? Control the Youth, control the future.
So many shovels, so many to distribute to the mind numbed progressive thinking youth of the future.
Enter Keanu Reeves.
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Who is that shocked child? He looks as though he's seeing his last moldy potato being confiscated, For The Greater Good™. Well, in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, he'll have lots of things to drop his jaw about.

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In the Progressive World of Tomorrow there are no Tomorrows for those who do not follow the line.
Even the 'Todays' will be limited to hours.
A bright future of shovels, beets, equality and parity. You will be equal in all aspects. Equally poor. On parity with the other poor people.
But! All will be happy, or else.
Mr Reeves has discovered this and cannot believe it. He will of course be taught the 'Truth'.

For Barry's next scheduled (1-2013) big performance, he will pretend to fart, & then swine will emanate from his behind, becoming airborne.

He is such a magician, utilizing great obfuscation skills, which deserves our great disrespect towards.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Now I know why I love Obama so much and will always give him another chance. He talks just like all my boyfriends!

Thank you Comrade, I consider this a conerstone of my "Better to Beg Forgiveness, than Ask Permission" policies which have unified the USSA under my rule leadership.


 
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