New Dem Strategy: Everyone Cuts And Runs

Encouraged by the media success of their "Bring the troops home before the job is done" campaign, Democrat leadership decided to expand this strategy to other groups of society. The new "Cut and Run For America" campaign to send everybody home before the job is done will first be tested on government employees - teachers, doctors, police, firefighters - and later cover the rest of the population.

"Americans need to stop trying," explained the new compassionate strategy Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV). "We deeply believe that most people in this country would like to stay low, stop thinking, stop fending for themselves, and just live off government handouts."

"To cut and run is every American's right, entitlement, and a patriotic duty," demanded Rep. John Murtha (D-PA), adding that this plan is likely to become a central issue in the upcoming November elections. "If we grant every American the right to walk away from any task without completing it, they'll all vote for us. I would!"

"We all want to change America," added Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) with compassion. "We want it to be a land where noble teachers are free to leave class before the school's over, and heroic firefighters can go home without putting out the fire, where ambulance drivers can drop off patients half-way to the hospital, and construction workers can walk away if a building is taking too long to build. This is what I did in Vietnam and I'm willing to do it again!"

Sen. Kerry went on at great length, describing his vision of a brave new world in which surgeons can leave the operation room before putting the heart back into the transplant patient, police officers can stop chasing murderers if they feel like playing pool, and transit workers can go back to their families before the trains arrive.

"Isn't this is the shining city upon a hill that our forefathers had dreamt about?" he exclaimed before being interrupted by Sen. Kennedy (D-MA) who solemnly vowed that from now on he and his son Patrick (D-RI) would leave the bar at 2am as opposed to the regular 4am, before they can accomplish the task of drinking themselves into a stupor.

"A search for the missing Democrat strategy is over," summarized everyone's feelings DNC Chairman Howard Dean. "Cutting and running makes a lot of sense - just look at me! I cut and run in the middle of 2004 presidential campaign, and now I'm Chairman of the DNC! If I can do it, you can do it."

An ardent supporter of the new Democrat plan is Cindy Rella, a grieving mother of a fallen firefighter. Ms Rella has long been calling for all firefighters to quit their jobs and escape to Canada.

In an open letter to Fire Department she wrote, "Let the Chief and his cronies put out fires themselves! Our boys signed up seeking government benefits, not to risk their lives just because somebody fell asleep while smoking after a night of wild sex with hookers in a bathtub filled with Bourbon. It is time for the American people to truly support our firefighters and demand an end to this nightmare!"

The day on which the American employment reached peak levels, the compassionate message the Democrats sent to the people was this: "It's OK to stop trying." Experts predict this policy will result in a landslide that'll put both the Senate and the House back under the Democrat control.

Not all Democrat supporters are happy with the new strategy, though. Our sources tell us that Charlie Sheen cursed the new policy, screaming "Strategic redeployment sucks!" when a hooker, who turned out to be a staunch Democrat, got dressed and redeployed just minutes before he could reach orgasm.
 

Hillary? Where are you Toots? I don't see your name here fighting for the new cut and run policy. We here at the Union fully support this tried and true political action. Every day we piss and moan on behalf of our workers, and have no qualms about sending our union men and women home over petty differences. Many times we have done this as soon as the job was started!!!  Why, we even order the rank and file to walk off the job when there is no job to walk away from!! Our members will gladly take strike pay, vs their 40-50 dollars per hour. We believe its our American duty to protest. Unions are never afraid to bite off their noses to spite their face

Get with it lady. Them care packages can easily go to Abscam Murtha

UB

(BTW, Another heartwarming article Red Square. Hat tip to youse guys here at the cube)
 

I object to this plan! In order to cut and run one must first begin to do something. This behavior goes directly against the People's Work Ethic of "can't someone else do it for me". How can we begin to balance all of the anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-life, and anti-gun marches if we have to start to WORK! We have already proven how sucessful not working can be; stay the course Comrads and we will continue to live off the labor of others forever.
 

Cut and win!
 

Only the wisdom of the Party could ring out the benevolent new policy of the Cut and Run from its earlier predecessor the Dine and Dash. NOVEMBER VICTORY HERE WE COME!!!
 

Does that mean that I can just stop going to summer skool after my first day?
 

Today I cut and ran from the bathrrom to get back into the grove.  I got up off the toilet when I still had a turtle hanging.
 

I thought the Party was going with the official phrase of "strategic redeployment," because they thought that "cut and run" too accurately described the new strategy. But no matter what it's called, I thank the Party I have an excuse not to work anymore! I can tell my capitalist running dog employers that I am cutting and running while I am busy!
 

Branish

I thought the Party was going with the official phrase of "strategic redeployment," because they thought that "cut and run" too accurately described the new strategy.
Thank you Comrade Branish for pointing it out. Of course "Strategic redeployment" has always been floating in the depths of our collective consciousness and your comment simply helped it to surface. In view of such developments we have revised our story as follows:

Quote:

Charlie Sheen cursed the new policy, screaming "Strategic redeployment sucks!" when a hooker, who turned out to be a staunch Democrat, got dressed and redeployed just minutes before he could reach orgasm.
 

I wish you Reich wingers would stop cutting and running from the US Constitution.

And can anyone tell me how we are to determine when the terrorists have been defeated in Iraq? Is it any more complicated than "Bush says they are defeated"?


Ohhh.....more troll droppings.....your post is being traced. Expect a Black Maria shortly.

L.
 

Alva Goldbook

I wish you Reich wingers would stop cutting and running from the US Constitution.

Yeah! You lousy Reich wingers!

It is truly a vulgar thing to witness the sight of those Reich wingers wrapping themselves in the flag of the United States and waving the US Constitution in the faces of their political enemies as a means of trying to intimidate them, isn't it Alva.

Alva, climb down off that soap box, go home to mommy and tell her you've been using naughty words again. US Constitution, indeed. As Left wingers, as opposed to Reich wingers, we have no use for such scraps of paper. Scraps of paper, Mr Goldbook! Please Mrs Goldbook, wash little Alva's mouth out with soap. US Constitution indeed; it is nothing more than a fetish of bourgeois ruling class politics worshiped by those suffering from false consciousness and alienation and created to prop up the capitalist classes. They know nothing of the dialectic! Socialism and the Workers need no such thing in a true state of Marxist Socialism.

Don't come here thumping the US Constitution you lousy reactionary!!!
 

Comrade Otis!

Quit scaring trolls away! They are wily and cunning! Quit using too much bait!
Chumming socialist waters is illegal!

Laika
 

Alva Goldbook

I wish you Reich wingers would stop cutting and running from the US Constitution.

And can anyone tell me how we are to determine when the terrorists have been defeated in Iraq? Is it any more complicated than "Bush says they are defeated"?


Ohhh.....more troll droppings.....your post is being traced. Expect a Black Maria shortly.

L.

Alva Goldbook should be credited with warning us about the evil "reich wingers" that could be in our midst. However, Mr. Goldbook left me confused. He questions how will we know when the "terrorists" in Iraq will be defeated, as the fascists in the White House have claimed they will be defeated. What about the "terrorists" in Afghanistan? Does Mr. Goldbook think are less important? They are fighting against the imperialist forces sent there in 2001. Also, why does Mr. Goldbook label these soldiers of Allah as "terrorists?" Doesn't he know that only the fascists call them "terrorists?" We all know that they are misunderstood fighters combatting injustice the same way our beloved Che and Pol Pot fought injustice-by killing everyone who is not like them! That is why they engage in these "terrorist" acts of blowing up women and children! I fear that Mr Goldbook is himself a mole in our midst, sent by the reactionary right wingers. When the proletariat masses vote for the Party in the elections in November, I hope Mr Goldbook goes to a re-education camp. If this is not soon enough, I suggest that he watch more CNN and expose himself to Michael Moore more...Comrade Moore will teach him they are Freedom Fighters, not "terrorists"!
 

Branish

Alva Goldbook should be credited with warning us about the evil "reich wingers" that could be in our midst. However, Mr. Goldbook left me confused.

Comrade Branish, good to see you again!

Don't be taken in by this Goldbook person. He is not what he seems. One of my assistants has researched this person and in the report writes that Goldbook maintains a weblog - Nitwit Planet. There, in one of the very few comments to his blogs, he makes reference to his admiration of the philosopher Rousseau. This confirms many doubts, as it is well known that many of the Nazi party elite were very enamored of the ideas of Rousseau. As it is doubtful that intellectual mistakes of this magnitude could ever be made honestly by someone who understands philisophical history it can only be surmised that this person Goldbook is an agent provocateur out to undermine the glorious socialist revolution and wreck confussion among the honest working classes.
 

Come back little troll, they don't mean the harsh party criticism. We know you are a true socialist of nationalistic origin.
Please come back, we are troll-friendly here at the People's Cube.
We know trolls have special rights and we are sorry for any offenses, real or imaginary, so please come back and illuminate us with The Enlightenment.
Rousseau.....ohhhhhhhh..the original Mr. Natural....how wonderful. Now you've had two hits at your blogspeck, thanks to Comrade Otis.
Tell us about Adam Smith? Please?
 

Comrade Otis

Branish

Alva Goldbook should be credited with warning us about the evil "reich wingers" that could be in our midst. However, Mr. Goldbook left me confused.

Comrade Branish, good to see you again!

Don't be taken in by this Goldbook person. He is not what he seems. One of my assistants has researched this person and in the report writes that Goldbook maintains a weblog - Nitwit Planet. There, in one of the very few comments to his blogs, he makes reference to his admiration of the philosopher Rousseau. This confirms many doubts, as it is well known that many of the Nazi party elite were very enamored of the ideas of Rousseau. As it is doubtful that intellectual mistakes of this magnitude could ever be made honestly by someone who understands philisophical history it can only be surmised that this person Goldbook is an agent provocateur out to undermine the glorious socialist revolution and wreck confussion among the honest working classes.

The Nazis were influenced by Rousseau? Wow. Thomas Jefferson was highly influenced by Rousseau as well. Rousseau, as well as Locke were two of the most important philosophical founders of classical liberalism that founded the United States. Rousseau was indeed brilliant, and his work is important, but he wasn’t always right.  

Thank you Comrade for dropping the name of my blog, Nitwit Planet, which can be found at nitwitplanet.blogspot.com. Feel free to read through it as you wish, and leave comments as you wish. My apologies for not having updated it as of late as I've been busy.

...PLANET     RED PLANET     RED PLANET     RED PLANET     RED PLANET     RED...

Freespace

...Ah, the same old conservative puffery. “Chains of existence” indeed. But it is wrong to describe Jefferson as a devotee of Rousseau. I know of no evidence to suggest that Jefferson was an admirer of Rousseau, and Madison, Jefferson’s greatest protégé, went to great pains to distance himself from Rousseau. Jefferson’s view is Lockean, not Rousseauian. For Locke, as for Jefferson, the relevant consideration when evaluating man as a political animal is man’s capacity to reason; reason, for Locke as for Jefferson, was the very definition of the law of nature. Not so for Rousseau, for whom “[man] must be divested of all qualities that are connected with life in a community if we are to understand him as he is by nature. The first and most important of these is reason…. Hence, [for Rousseau], the definition of man can no longer be that he is a rational animal.” Allan Bloom, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in Leo Strauss and Joseph Cropsey, eds., History of Political Philosophy 563 (3d ed. 1987). Jefferson had no concept analogous to Rousseau’s “General Will,” and believed property one of the essential rights of man—contrary to Rousseau, who thought it the beginning of all inequality and social evil. To say that Jefferson and Rousseau were alike can only be accurate in the sense that both were male, and both were fluent in French. The similarities diminish after this point.

Link to: Freespace - Some Concluding Principles

Comrade Otis
 

Laika the Space Dog

Come back little troll, they don't mean the harsh party criticism. We know you are a true socialist of nationalistic origin.
Please come back, we are troll-friendly here at the People's Cube.
We know trolls have special rights and we are sorry for any offenses, real or imaginary, so please come back and illuminate us with The Enlightenment.
Rousseau.....ohhhhhhhh..the original Mr. Natural....how wonderful. Now you've had two hits at your blogspeck, thanks to Comrade Otis.
Tell us about Adam Smith? Please?

Monsieur Space Dog,
Fellow Comrades here at The Karl Marx Treatment Center has advised me to let you know that the restroom is down the hall and to the left. There is no need to jump up and down in your seat incessantly like a French poodle high on angel dust. Simply release your bowels in a calm and collected manner in the appropriate location. Remember, down the hall and to the left!

With that being said, I must announce to my fellow Comrades that I will be gone for a week, as I am going on a much needed vacation to Alabama. Alabama? Yes, Alabama. I hope to hear from all of you soon when I get back sometime next Friday.

Take care you nutty Reich wingers!
 

Quote:

With that being said, I must announce to my fellow Comrades that I will be gone for a week, as I am going on a much needed vacation to Alabama. Alabama? Yes, Alabama. I hope to hear from all of you soon when I get back sometime next Friday.

Take care you nutty Reich wingers!


I will miss you Comrade Troll!
Please, for your own safety, don't drive on the interstate, that was invented by Nazis, or fly on a jet plane...same thing....Nazis....or drive in a VW Microbus....you know....I don't have to explain.
Stay away from burning churches, the KKK, and all those Cracker Honkies and I know you'll return safe and sound.
Oh...and don't let them find out you're a socialist, you might get lynched. It happens every day down there, the Reich wing media just doesn't tell you about it.

Ta ta!

L.
 

Did Alva just cut and run?
 

Put Comrade Troll down for three hits Laika, I just had the unimaginable pleasure of perusing about the words of progressive wisdom little Alva had to offer at Nitwits! Thank my lucky red 5-pointed stars, Comrade Troll is a fellow partisan from the Peoples Commonwealth of Virginia and has come to join us, how fortunate we are (collectively of course). Little Alva, will you be casting your last ballot for Comrade Webb this November? You know, Comrade Webb, the ex-Reaganite military buff turned working class hero over night who also endorsed Bushler and Allen in 2000 (gasp!).