Survival of the slickest: Repubs replaced by fitter species



However crazy, irresponsible, and outright criminal our behavior is, you can't call us sinful because that would be forcing your values on us. You can't call us hypocrites because we never said we were perfect.
You can't say we've lost shame because we can't lose what we don't have.
Human imperfection is our standard, our goal, or breeding ground, our primordial soup if you will. We stand for nothing and have no values except those that may hypothetically exist in a distant socialist utopia that may or may not happen.

16? Couldn't he at least wait until he was an intern? This is a disgrace, and wipe that smirk off your face.

It would be better if that page had drowned than to have received those emails, but now that he's 16 maybe I could compensate by having Patrick and me give him driving lessons.

I am outwaged! I can't baweeve I didn't find this wittle page boy first, and I have first dibs in the House wiff all da pages. Dis is abbsowootwie appwehensible.

Progs don't resign, conservative suckers do.
And if the Conservatives aren't calling us on it, they must be really, really stupid.



That's why it is so easy for us to bring about the end of the GOP reign thanks to Mark Foley scandal and resignation - how dare they stand for family values while allowing one of their own to be gay and hit on teenagers? They are hypocrites!
Of course this could never happen to us. We may be gay and hit on teenagers all we want, but if that is consistent with our beliefs, where's the scandal?

Please note that Foley didn't have the guts to do what he believed in either way - he had no physical contacts with the teens, nor did he become a Democrat. Gerry Studds did both - and he received three standing ovations in Congress and got reelected for three more terms!
Thanks to the rules we have set up in today's political evolutionary struggle, progs will soon become dominant species - unless, of course, someone changes the rules.

Quote:
Ted Kennedy(D-Mass.):It would be better if that page had drowned than to have received those emails, but now that he's 16 maybe I could compensate by having Patrick and me give him driving lessons.
it is important to remember that only Comrade Senator Kennedy is a fully trained and trusted member of the People's Under Water Weapons.
So what if one cosmopolite must die! She is of no consequence! Only the good of Sub-Commander Kennedy is all important.
Confirm distance to Oldsmobile
One Ping Only






Chairman Meow S. Pun
Oh my, my toaster oven just beeped, my 90K must be thawed out now, I have to go...Is this not twice within ONE WEEK, comrade Meow??? Surely you are not holding out on the Collective (and Her Royal tHighness), are you?? Hmmm, once is possibly understandable. Twice means suspicions are high, and you may have to be re-educated.
Shall we convene the Politburo for a review, Premier Betty? It is protocol, after all.


"with a Negro by my side. Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."
Our final solution...errr....revolution is at hand. We can for once and forever remove God from the human experience, and live happily every after. Our weak enemy allows themselves to be kicked repeatedly, then slinks back to lick our jackboot, begging our acceptance.
Rik


Of course I'm not holding out comrade Pravda! Your just jealous that I get all the bribes and have more money to wire to Her Excellency... Ok, your right, :-(. I'm showing my hand and I'm a mess, its the Nov. 7th revolution jitters and all those yummy tax-dollars the Party is going to steal. This is not good and a review would be whats best, televised with a script, and special FX. Better yet, a full investigation to show the nation just how tough the Party is on corruption when dealing with its own members, that will show them that we are not hypocrites (and give us a chance to convince those idiot swing voters we are more ethical). Give me a time and a forum for the investigation, I have left a trail of evidence to support the charge that I am a money grubbing crooked official that is keen on doing whatever it takes to pad our candidates with exurberant amounts of soft-money, oh and a hypocrite... help me comrade Pravda! help me!


Quote:
Oh my, my toaster oven just beeped, my 90K must be thawed out now, I have to go..........to Zurich and deposit this and another $250K into Hillary's account. There, I finished the sentence for you, Chairman Meow. That wasn't soft or hard , was it?
Hillary


Chairman Meow S. Pun
I AM OFFENDED....Of course I'm not holding out comrade Pravda! Your just jealous that I get all the bribes and have more money to wire to Her Excellency... Ok, your right, :-(. I'm showing my hand and I'm a mess, its the Nov. 7th revolution jitters and all those yummy tax-dollars the Party is going to steal. This is not good and a review would be whats best, televised with a script, and special FX. Better yet, a full investigation to show the nation just how tough the Party is on corruption when dealing with its own members, that will show them that we are not hypocrites (and give us a chance to convince those idiot swing voters we are more ethical). Give me a time and a forum for the investigation, I have left a trail of evidence to support the charge that I am a money grubbing crooked official that is keen on doing whatever it takes to pad our candidates with exurberant amounts of soft-money, oh and a hypocrite... help me comrade Pravda! help me!
Now that's what I'm talkin' about, Comrade! You are now with the "program". <does finger quotes like Dr. Evil>


WE judge what is "ethical", "moral" and "legal". WE set the "standards" and if they are "double standards", so be it! This silly "Foley affair" proves once again that WE hold the high ground. RepugliKKKans are one step closer to being ground into the ether of irrelevant history. What a glorious time for our Revolution!
Remember comrades, that as I write this, it is a Friday in October in an election year. Prepare to receive more information on RepugliKKKan failings at a little after 3:00 PM EDT today!

Commissar M
WE judge what is "ethical", "moral" and "legal". WE set the "standards" and if they are "double standards", so be it! This silly "Foley affair" proves once again that WE hold the high ground.Thank you for your words of wisom, Commissar. I had previously been confused about some of our own Comrades and their exagerated "lapses of judgment" (Bill Clinton, William Jefferson, Ted and Patrick Kennedy). They have "standards, but we have double standards! And if having standards is good, then having double standards is twice as good!


Branish
Thank you for your words of wisom, Commissar. I had previously been confused about some of our own Comrades and their exagerated "lapses of judgment" (Bill Clinton, William Jefferson, Ted and Patrick Kennedy). They have "standards, but we have double standards! And if having standards is good, then having double standards is twice as good!
EXCELLENT POINT, Comrade Branish!! This clarifies our position to the RepubliKKKans in an indisputable fashion! Salute!



I will immediately post this in the London Times under the heading: "Once Again Doublethink Triumphs"
I'm sure Big Brother will make your article the main topic in XX Party Congress of Oceania that opens Monday here in Airstrip One.
Keep up the good work and always remember, "Oceania Tis For Thee"

Branish
Commissar M
WE judge what is "ethical", "moral" and "legal". WE set the "standards" and if they are "double standards", so be it! This silly "Foley affair" proves once again that WE hold the high ground.Thank you for your words of wisom, Commissar. I had previously been confused about some of our own Comrades and their exagerated "lapses of judgment" (Bill Clinton, William Jefferson, Ted and Patrick Kennedy). They have "standards, but we have double standards! And if having standards is good, then having double standards is twice as good!
Comrade, I say to you that Double Standards always lead to the Double Cross which is so beloved by Big Brother himself.
Why just yesterday BB attacked Eastasia, whom Oceania was allied, and made a new alliance with Eurasia.



